Tying The Knot - Village Style
Nazar Khan January 8, 2003
#45 Posted by Saminasha on January 12, 2003 7:18:20 pm
Sameer,
You men are sooooo baaaaaad....how come I never found out about this? Although, I think my khandan older generation is very conservative...was this common in India/Pakistan about 50 years ago?
You men are sooooo baaaaaad....how come I never found out about this? Although, I think my khandan older generation is very conservative...was this common in India/Pakistan about 50 years ago?
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#44 Posted by ana_dobarah on January 12, 2003 4:53:26 pm
Okay, so here`s my silly question for the day...vhy is program such a secret? If it was illegal, then I`d understand...but is it such a bastion of desi male culture that women cannot participate as well? I know, I know...kuch tau bande ke liye choRho, but I just thought I`d ask anyway. `Cause if Harpreet should ever invite me to his wedding, meiN huNNe kehndi aan...meiN vhi program vich hissa leyangi. ;) ;)
#43 Posted by SameerJB on January 12, 2003 3:33:52 pm
Saminshah: Haha, at least there is best part of desi male culture you are not familiar with. Program is a code word for alcoholic beverages served clandestinely in parties.
For all male gathering, program is most visible but in the presence of ladies and children, program is the most well-known secret. It is a bar in the trunk of a car or on the back seat of SUV parked conveniently within the gathering premise.
Desi male gather around the car, drink and come back to the gathering to discuss if god exists or not or the weaknesses of western civilization.
For all male gathering, program is most visible but in the presence of ladies and children, program is the most well-known secret. It is a bar in the trunk of a car or on the back seat of SUV parked conveniently within the gathering premise.
Desi male gather around the car, drink and come back to the gathering to discuss if god exists or not or the weaknesses of western civilization.
#41 Posted by ana_dobarah on January 12, 2003 1:54:17 pm
Harpreeteya...of course i always want to read your stuffs...and anything having to do with `program` especially.
:-)
:-)
#40 Posted by SameerJB on January 12, 2003 11:06:59 am
Dullabhatti: Sorry ji, bas jara hisab kitab ich gaRbaR ho gai. I think we have too much in common. I also prefer bottled water over one can of beer or one glassie. MuNh da ziaka kharab karaN aali gal lagdi. There is absolute minimum for me to succumb to sinning - three Heinekens or three drinks.
Any theory about Panjabi men`s love for drinking? For rest of south Asians, it is: `aidher lawaaN, odher manji teh dhawaaN` but for Panjabis: aidhar lawaaN, odhar pee kae pawaRa pawaaN`. By the way, in p-Panjab, lawaaN means something else, also very important but private affair.
Harpreet: Why don`t you submit it here too. Should I say belated happy birthday after seeing your e-mail address?
Nazar Khan: Just curious if it was a Tiwana or a Noon wedding or else.
Any theory about Panjabi men`s love for drinking? For rest of south Asians, it is: `aidher lawaaN, odher manji teh dhawaaN` but for Panjabis: aidhar lawaaN, odhar pee kae pawaRa pawaaN`. By the way, in p-Panjab, lawaaN means something else, also very important but private affair.
Harpreet: Why don`t you submit it here too. Should I say belated happy birthday after seeing your e-mail address?
Nazar Khan: Just curious if it was a Tiwana or a Noon wedding or else.
#39 Posted by dullabhatti on January 11, 2003 3:23:27 pm
Sameer #36:
``Allow 5000 Sikh yatris and along comes 1000 litres of whiskey in the harmoniums and tablas - as my friend Dullabhatti once suggested.``
Sameer that is almost blasphemous to quote me wrong in this context. That is 1 litre for 5 of my brotha...ehnay naal te muchhaN vi nai gilliyaN hundiaN. My 6 year old cousin in Chicago brought me 3 cans of beer from the fridge when I teased him that his father is not offering me any drinks....even 6 yr old knew offering 1 can at a time is not enough mehman-nawazi in his home.
Offering or getting offered 200ml of Daru is out right insult....hiding and smuggling that little could be considered disgrace to the whole nation.:-)
``Allow 5000 Sikh yatris and along comes 1000 litres of whiskey in the harmoniums and tablas - as my friend Dullabhatti once suggested.``
Sameer that is almost blasphemous to quote me wrong in this context. That is 1 litre for 5 of my brotha...ehnay naal te muchhaN vi nai gilliyaN hundiaN. My 6 year old cousin in Chicago brought me 3 cans of beer from the fridge when I teased him that his father is not offering me any drinks....even 6 yr old knew offering 1 can at a time is not enough mehman-nawazi in his home.
Offering or getting offered 200ml of Daru is out right insult....hiding and smuggling that little could be considered disgrace to the whole nation.:-)
#37 Posted by Harpreet on January 11, 2003 3:23:27 pm
LoL @ Dulla Bhatti re: program after Lawwan & thirsty men trying to speed up lunch...so true...But these days in England straight after the Gurudwara its to the hall and the program starts right away, with lunch served at about 4pm!!
Dulla, Sameer, HamidM, Noorie, Stuka, I have just finished writing a short story about a program here in England, I reckon its really funny, I will not be submitting it to Chowk but if any of you wants to read it drop me a line on
december14th@yahoo.co.uk
:)
-h-
#36 Posted by SameerJB on January 11, 2003 8:00:31 am
Ali87: No I did not exaggerate because I live outside India/ Pakistan and hang around people like myself who do not make much out of religion. Some do limited practices due to family and habit to quiety go along. Drinking is the least practiced inhibition by men because in this society it does not make a big difference between not drinking and drinking responsibly and socially. What is a dinner at a French or Italian restaurant without wine....what is a steak house without whisky and a pizza parlor without beer? There is plenty of sales tax and liquor licence tax for the government, thousands of jobs related to this industry and good feeling/ enjoyment for the public. Except for DWI, nothing criminal has been linked to drinking except bootlegging during prohibition era. The cost to healthcare industry is perhaps not very high too due to quick wasting of life following cyrrhosis. People do not hang around long after toasting liver with alcohol or even after various hepitius.
Despite all the hoopla about Islamic republic, Alcohol has always been available to prople who drink. During my life in Pakistan, basically we needed a Christian friend with the licence to buy. Now a days, pilots and hostesses bring in alcohol regularly to Pakistan and our brother Sikhs are best suppliers in Panjab. Allow 5000 Sikh yatris and along comes 1000 litres of whiskey in the harmoniums and tablas - as my friend Dullabhatti once suggested. I am all for allowing as many yatris as possible at every guru`s janam din and death anniversaries - twice or thrice every month.
Despite all the hoopla about Islamic republic, Alcohol has always been available to prople who drink. During my life in Pakistan, basically we needed a Christian friend with the licence to buy. Now a days, pilots and hostesses bring in alcohol regularly to Pakistan and our brother Sikhs are best suppliers in Panjab. Allow 5000 Sikh yatris and along comes 1000 litres of whiskey in the harmoniums and tablas - as my friend Dullabhatti once suggested. I am all for allowing as many yatris as possible at every guru`s janam din and death anniversaries - twice or thrice every month.
#35 Posted by satyavadi on January 11, 2003 7:05:27 am
ali87 #33:
[Perhaps this is the kind of pressure that is being built up by media mostly at the behest of powerful Liquor lobbies to expect people in india to conform to the western lifestyle to help their business. ]
Remember Vijay Mallya is based in Bangalore. Didn`t the Karnataka govt a year or two ago announce allowing sale of liquor at corner grocery stores?
If you read Outlook regularly, that leftist liberal magazine regularly prints articles that subtely and sometimes not so subltely promote teenage/college age promiscuity and a general westernism. How many times have I read ``surveys`` in Outlook claiming ``40% of college goers in Bombay have had sexual relations``. This was about the time I was in college or just after it. Makes you wonder which colleges did they survey. Would they be only some South Bombay colleges? Even if it were them, there are no college level institutions in India that donot have a huge presence of middle-middle and lower-middle class students.
So where are the numbers being pulled from and for what purpose?
[Perhaps this is the kind of pressure that is being built up by media mostly at the behest of powerful Liquor lobbies to expect people in india to conform to the western lifestyle to help their business. ]
Remember Vijay Mallya is based in Bangalore. Didn`t the Karnataka govt a year or two ago announce allowing sale of liquor at corner grocery stores?
If you read Outlook regularly, that leftist liberal magazine regularly prints articles that subtely and sometimes not so subltely promote teenage/college age promiscuity and a general westernism. How many times have I read ``surveys`` in Outlook claiming ``40% of college goers in Bombay have had sexual relations``. This was about the time I was in college or just after it. Makes you wonder which colleges did they survey. Would they be only some South Bombay colleges? Even if it were them, there are no college level institutions in India that donot have a huge presence of middle-middle and lower-middle class students.
So where are the numbers being pulled from and for what purpose?
#34 Posted by Ras on January 10, 2003 9:44:56 pm
Pakistanis, whether urban or rural, go overboard at weddings
I for one am glad that they don`t serve alcohol at these events there because the guests might just get out of hand and start firing more weapons up in the air (or at each other) then they usually do.
Nice reading about the rich folks and their tough lives in Pakistan....
Ras
#33 Posted by Ali87 on January 10, 2003 7:38:52 pm
#29 by sameerJB on January 10, 2003 2:32pm PT
Stuka: Program for Panjabi males is not restricted to weddings. I have seen programs kithe at birthdays, Eid parties, music shows and even at Quran khawani gatherings. I am ready to go to hajj as long as there is a van parked nearby loaded with the `program kithe hai`
Strange.. But may be you exaggerate. Im yet to see any muslim family in India ever arrange this. Even an admission of drinking alcohol is not done In Indian muslim middle class families.
However the media takes gleeful note of the acctivites some of the muslim elite. More than a paragarph was devoted on the various brand of alcohol that flowed freely at the wedding of Feroz Khan`s daughter and Hirtik Roshan.
Nida Fazili the Bollowood lyricist is often seen quaffing a gulp from his metal container at mushairas.
MJ Akbar`, the well known journalist when he released his latest book in Delhi ``The shade of swords`` (About Jihad ) along with wine and cheese as the press dutifuly observed.
There was a full page article similar to the MSN article in Times of India Bangalore editon a year back on a small time muslim architech from Hyderabad who had a practice in Bangalore while his Hindu wife ran the Hyderabad office. The article made more than a passing reference to the beer mug in his hand while he prepared delightful Hyderabadi biryani.
On the other extreme was an article in the Banglore TOI addressed at the socitey La di la ladies on how to prevent your party from being a disaster It listed 12 most likely to happen disasters and how to prevent them. Topping the list was liquor running out before the party ended. The advice was not to have too much variety but to limit to a small variety but sufficient quantity. Among the other disaster listed were men misbehaving with women after getting drunk. Men getting into fistcuffs after having one to many. Women getting frisky after getting sloshed and induging in impromptu strip teases thus embarassing others. People puking after getting totally sloshed.
only three points were non alcohol releated. I tried to detect any note of sarcasam in it but it seemed a straight forward article!! It did not occour to the kind woman that not serving drinks would solve most of the problems.
Perhaps this is the kind of pressure that is being built up by media mostly at the behest of powerful Liquor lobbies to expect people in india to conform to the western lifestyle to help their business.
The slavish elite is a perfect vehicle for their business interests. It is hard to belive but I read three articles in the print media in one month by the so called well traveled epicures who compains about the ``Over cooking and over everthing in Indian cooking`` while pontificating about the natural freshness of the european and japanese cooking and the sheer minimalism of these cusines. The authors suggesting how unnecessary the masalas, overcooking, etc and how superior the freshness and simplicity of the other cusines was.
Usually we find these articles in the magazine sections of newspapers which seem to be mostly written by cub reporters and perhaps sponsered in some way by the various business lobbies or at least to keep them in good humor.
The passengers of the Chennai Singapore singapore airlines flight aparently know the answer to >>program kithey hai <<< for them it is as soon as the flight is in air. The passengers are fun to watch provided you are a bit away from them. Approx half the flight usually consists of Smugglers/ Carriers who carry electronic goods back to Chennai from singapore. They usually have only a almost empty duffel bag with a couple of heavy magazines and a change of clothes in it.
The booze flows freely in the flight including the free Champagne. When the Airhosstes come with the drinks torlley and ask ``what will you have?`` they get stupefying looks as an answer. Apparrently the the thinking goes `` are you kidding!! lets start with the champagne and continue later on with whatever comes up.`` So an 11.30 flight starts with people gulping in vodka on champagne followed with beer, rum, whisky whatever is on the offer. It is fun to watch!! Dinner is usually delayed by the constant calling for the drinks!!
Those poor souls catching connecting flights and not having had dinner usually end up having it late around 1.00 or so in the night!! The flight reaches at 6.0 am singapore time. It helps to look back into the empty plane. Usually it is a complete mess balnkets, pillows, magazines, strewen around on the floor. It is amazing that the crew still keeps smiling after bearing this for years.
Stuka: Program for Panjabi males is not restricted to weddings. I have seen programs kithe at birthdays, Eid parties, music shows and even at Quran khawani gatherings. I am ready to go to hajj as long as there is a van parked nearby loaded with the `program kithe hai`
Strange.. But may be you exaggerate. Im yet to see any muslim family in India ever arrange this. Even an admission of drinking alcohol is not done In Indian muslim middle class families.
However the media takes gleeful note of the acctivites some of the muslim elite. More than a paragarph was devoted on the various brand of alcohol that flowed freely at the wedding of Feroz Khan`s daughter and Hirtik Roshan.
Nida Fazili the Bollowood lyricist is often seen quaffing a gulp from his metal container at mushairas.
MJ Akbar`, the well known journalist when he released his latest book in Delhi ``The shade of swords`` (About Jihad ) along with wine and cheese as the press dutifuly observed.
There was a full page article similar to the MSN article in Times of India Bangalore editon a year back on a small time muslim architech from Hyderabad who had a practice in Bangalore while his Hindu wife ran the Hyderabad office. The article made more than a passing reference to the beer mug in his hand while he prepared delightful Hyderabadi biryani.
On the other extreme was an article in the Banglore TOI addressed at the socitey La di la ladies on how to prevent your party from being a disaster It listed 12 most likely to happen disasters and how to prevent them. Topping the list was liquor running out before the party ended. The advice was not to have too much variety but to limit to a small variety but sufficient quantity. Among the other disaster listed were men misbehaving with women after getting drunk. Men getting into fistcuffs after having one to many. Women getting frisky after getting sloshed and induging in impromptu strip teases thus embarassing others. People puking after getting totally sloshed.
only three points were non alcohol releated. I tried to detect any note of sarcasam in it but it seemed a straight forward article!! It did not occour to the kind woman that not serving drinks would solve most of the problems.
Perhaps this is the kind of pressure that is being built up by media mostly at the behest of powerful Liquor lobbies to expect people in india to conform to the western lifestyle to help their business.
The slavish elite is a perfect vehicle for their business interests. It is hard to belive but I read three articles in the print media in one month by the so called well traveled epicures who compains about the ``Over cooking and over everthing in Indian cooking`` while pontificating about the natural freshness of the european and japanese cooking and the sheer minimalism of these cusines. The authors suggesting how unnecessary the masalas, overcooking, etc and how superior the freshness and simplicity of the other cusines was.
Usually we find these articles in the magazine sections of newspapers which seem to be mostly written by cub reporters and perhaps sponsered in some way by the various business lobbies or at least to keep them in good humor.
The passengers of the Chennai Singapore singapore airlines flight aparently know the answer to >>program kithey hai <<< for them it is as soon as the flight is in air. The passengers are fun to watch provided you are a bit away from them. Approx half the flight usually consists of Smugglers/ Carriers who carry electronic goods back to Chennai from singapore. They usually have only a almost empty duffel bag with a couple of heavy magazines and a change of clothes in it.
The booze flows freely in the flight including the free Champagne. When the Airhosstes come with the drinks torlley and ask ``what will you have?`` they get stupefying looks as an answer. Apparrently the the thinking goes `` are you kidding!! lets start with the champagne and continue later on with whatever comes up.`` So an 11.30 flight starts with people gulping in vodka on champagne followed with beer, rum, whisky whatever is on the offer. It is fun to watch!! Dinner is usually delayed by the constant calling for the drinks!!
Those poor souls catching connecting flights and not having had dinner usually end up having it late around 1.00 or so in the night!! The flight reaches at 6.0 am singapore time. It helps to look back into the empty plane. Usually it is a complete mess balnkets, pillows, magazines, strewen around on the floor. It is amazing that the crew still keeps smiling after bearing this for years.
#32 Posted by hamidm2 on January 10, 2003 4:51:31 pm
...... program kithey hai !!!!
............. now you are making me nostalgic .......... at my wedding we had a program - and what a program it was .......... out in the parking lot at pindi club, straight out of the trunk .........premixed gin and tonic , rum and coke, vodka and orange juice, and of course, black label and ice out of a coca cola ice box ............. what a party! ........ those were the days ............
............. now you are making me nostalgic .......... at my wedding we had a program - and what a program it was .......... out in the parking lot at pindi club, straight out of the trunk .........premixed gin and tonic , rum and coke, vodka and orange juice, and of course, black label and ice out of a coca cola ice box ............. what a party! ........ those were the days ............
#31 Posted by dullabhatti on January 10, 2003 4:03:48 pm
Sameer you are right in observing that everything before the Program is getting shorter and shorter. In many sikh weddings, reception or lunch follows the ``laawaN`` - wedding ceremony...in many such cases there is usually a push to finish the laawaN as quickly as possible so that everyone can get on with the Program. You can often hear phrases like ``chheti karo bai taime bahut ho giya``, ``koi Bhai ji nu kaho bahut ho gai hun bass kare....asiN hore vi koi program karna ain`` from the back of the wedding hall.
#30 Posted by ana_dobarah on January 10, 2003 4:03:48 pm
nazar.....LOL. and don`t forget the line about her makeup as well...unless that`s part of `what about my hair?`
LOL @ all the posts discussing program kithey!
Te huNN mera program kithey?!?
ana
p.s. sameeroo...i`ll make sure to let the proper authorities know so you can itmenan se perform karo your hajj!!! ;-)
LOL @ all the posts discussing program kithey!
Te huNN mera program kithey?!?
ana
p.s. sameeroo...i`ll make sure to let the proper authorities know so you can itmenan se perform karo your hajj!!! ;-)
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