Tying The Knot - Village Style

Stuka: Program for Panjabi males is not restricted to weddings. I have seen programs kithe at birthdays, Eid parties, music shows and even at Quran khawani gatherings. I am ready to go to hajj as long as there is a van parked nearby loaded with the `program kithe hai`.
In Sikh gatherings, program is almost always at the reception; only `kiddaaaaaN` precedes program. That is why Sikhs have been shortening welcome, how do you do, kya haal hae, kee haal hae to a quick `kiddaN`. No wasting of time between arriving and reaching for program. After having an eye-opener, one to ease up and one to clean palette, Panjabis start talking nostalgically about Panjab and pind and you know what it means.......non-stop program time until bhangRa time.

Ali 87:

Your post is absolutely on the mark regarding the vast majority of middle class India. The ``Townies`` of Bombay and the people of South Delhi may be different but they are exceptions, not the norm. Veeresh himself is from Golf Links (as his bio says) which is the same as being from Clifton.

Just as the crowd of Clifton and Gulshan e Iqbal is not the same, Golf Links and Janak Puri are worlds apart.

LOL

>>>....program kithey hai? <<
I have heard it too..

Veeresh.

Im aware that people do drink and even have a couple of muslim friends who quaff a peg once in a while for ``Socitey me rehana hai to...``

Regarding Drinkng and Sex
I dont know what makes you to think that avoiding one may lead to being prudish.

I have Aquaintance who orders sambar and avial most of the time while dining in a five star hotel but asks me from time to time very innocently ``You dont drink do you?`` ``Hmmm... `` ``why?`` upon getting an answer he goes ``ohh.. I see`` the charade repeats again a few months later. I supposse he wants to indicate to me what im missing by not drinking. Perhaps he had a very sorry life till he had his first drink at the age of 33.

Im sure lots of people enjoy drinking. I have no hassle with it. But it is silly to assume that one cant enjoy life if one did not. Your reply also seems to indicate it.

Drinking is not accepted in most Indian communites (not that people dont drink) as a social acctivity.

To suggest otherwise is to disregard the reality. posts 25, 24, 22, give the same impression.

Media also tires to perpetuate this myth. Recently MSN India had a aritcle on their site. The article was about the pub culture and IT professionals in Banglore. It was a breezy article with no apparent purpose. It suggested that the famed Bangalore pub culture and the ``Trendy IT professionals`` are make making a historical change in socitey. It depectied ``Glamorous`` life of IT professionals Hard a work and usually slogging up to 7-8 in the night and then grabbing a drink at the Pubs to make up for the stress and hard work of the day.

This is utter rubbish. There are about 10-12 pubs in Bangalore(though dozens of more drinking places but not trendy enough for most people to be seen in it or admit being there.) Half of these pubs are extremly small which can seat about 20 people in cramped area of about 300-500 square feet.
Most people who come there are rich children of business men and quite a few are from the plantation famiies of Mangalore and kerala. The bigger pubs are usually haunts of the 40 ish crowds mainly business people and some executives from MNC`s

But the article suggested that most of the IT community needs to relax an unwind after a stressful day and land up at the pubs as the only redeming feature of their day.

Perhaps this is to boost the revenue of the Booze business. Over the last two years quite a few of the pubs have closed down because of overcapacity in the market.

This Monty / Bunty phenomenon with Maruti Van, plastic/steel glasses and RC Whisky got an extension lately where some fine young cute lady usually called Pinky or Lovely or maybe even Rosie will then pounce on Monty / Bunty and friends and make them dance.

After some time, you can then see Pinky Rosie Lovely also swigging some strange Coca Cola/Whisky mix.

Just out of curioisty, do you have nicknames like Monty / Bunty in Pakistan?

Stuka #19:

[Kee gal kardey ho janaab? You are talking only of very modern families, which are very upper crust and beyjaat. In a normal middle class Punjabi family, the alcohol is served at the reception, but not at the wedding itself.]

LOL. I actually meant the reception. One of our relative`s daughter who is a doc got married to a Punjabi doc guy from Chandigarh, and the wedding was in Ahmedabad. While my relative didn`t give in on non-veg food (the food was of two types: Veg and Jain :)), he did defy Prohibition and samaaj-walon-ki-baatein to provide a drinks booth behind the reception stage, for the grooms Punjabi relatives to get tulli on the sly. Ofcourse everyone from our side found out, but it was rationalized on the basis that kya karein woh log punjabi jo hai, and atleast non veg to nahi hai shadi mein.

Satyavadi

Stuka: LOL

>>>....program kithey hai? <<

oh man you got good ears...can`t tell you how many times I have heard that line....That scene is very common in urban weddings in India and almost all wedding in North America and UK. and the Montys and Buntys behave so cordially and work so hard as if they are running Red Cross that day.

LoL @ Stuka# 22

Is there drinking at Punjabi weddings??

Is the pope Catholic??

-h-

Satyavadi:

``Punjabi Hindu weddings almost always have alcohol served. Punjabis are among the few ``

Kee gal kardey ho janaab? You are talking only of very modern families, which are very upper crust and beyjaat. In a normal middle class Punjabi family, the alcohol is served at the reception, but not at the wedding itself. There is however a Maruti van or some such parked discretely close to the wedding premises. For special guests, in need of libation, there is usually some whiskey-shiskey.

The scenario goes somewhat like this:

Host: Helloji Malhotrea Saab...kee haal chaal hain..

Malhotraji (guest): Helloji..mubarakan mubarakan..program kithey hai?

Host: Oye Monty

Monty (lanky teenage nephew/cousin..): Haanji:

Host: Malhotraji nu lai key jayeen, program dey liyey..

Monty: Acchaji

Monty then escorts a salivating Malhotraji to the Maruti Van where he is served Royal Challenge whiskey in steel or plastic glass.

Hello

This is as real as it can get. Almost like my marriage. I had to cut out few lines. If it was the New Yorker, I could have allowed two lines on the Bride`s fears. `What about my hair? What if I fart?`.

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Dullabhatti . . . good stuff, thanks. Most middle class weddings urban or rural that I go to, I see most of the young and middle aged men in ill fitting dark shiny suits standing around outside in some dark corner around a Maruti Omni van with rear hatch down drinking whisky out of plastic glasses and making a great show of mardangi . . . the elders go tut-tut but often don`t refuse when somebody will come past do pairi paona and thrust an overflowing vessel at them . . . a few hundred rupee notes and even the veg caterer will get hold of fish fry or chicken tandoori or boti kababs . . . then they all troop back together and look overtly innocent and drop food on their ties.

Ali87, your objections are noted, but what do you know, not only do people get drunk, they also have great s/e/x (as a consequence of marriage), sorry to dis-appoint you.

Nazar Khan Sahib,

I could only laugh, such a great article i have been to many wedding like this in Pakistan. When i read the article i pictured exactly what was going on and found myself nodding in agreeance with each line i was reading. It certainly put a smil on my face, remembering the chaos and hangama. Very well written, and it bought back some very sweet memories. Thank you.

DhullaBhatti

Choudhary sahib, vadee Baraat ley key gaya see? Chenab tey Bias vich mey hor fark katava. Many Muslim Punjabi weddings of this scale have alcohol too. Lo ji hor fark kat gaya.

Also as far as i can remember, what you said about the upset relatives is 100% true. Something always has to happen, but thats just the way it is.

Ana_again

The dodh pillai or milk drinking ceremony is a big thing in Muslim Punjabi weddings too, it has its root in fertility theory.

Nasah

yes rural people are a lot more liberal and freer, and i think better off for it.

#14 by satyavadi on January 9, 2003 3:34pm PT
may be.. But I have been to a couple of punajbi weddings. only in one did i find younger men drinking on the sly away from the publics attention.
but this was not in punjab so it might be the exception.

#11 by dullabhatti on January 9, 2003 11:37am PT

Incidently this practice of singers (not nachne walis) had come to be seen in Indian muslim weddings too over the last few years. It usually meets with some resistance. some relatives simply dont attend weddings where singers(singing filmi songs on a small stage with live music) are known to be present.
I think now it is being viewed as a Crass Idea of late and these have reduced to a large extent.
This is in a urban Scenario im talking about in southern India.

ali87:

Punjabi Hindu weddings almost always have alcohol served. Punjabis are among the few Hindu communities in which drinking has traditionally not been a taboo.