Tying The Knot - Village Style

bass ikk Maulvi te nikaah wala hissa katt ke Bhai te laawaN paa daiyeye te DullayBhatti nu apna viaah yaad aa giya. Also add some paragraphs on serving daru, ranging from Desi ghar di kaDDi to few bottles of imported wine. Now that we have done that add few loud bhabhaks, chaangraN..few flying paraats, kaRchhiyaN and meat walay pateelay. yeah..that sounds like a wedding on the banks of Bias...bass Bias te Chanaab wich ainna ee farak ay.

Very good topic and very well written article. I hope the couple turns out to be a loving couple, enjoying life for few years before having babies.
I think, despite all the lavish and extended celebrations of weddings in countryside, city weddings end up breaking the backs of bride`s family.

Please write more about village lifestyle!

Peace,
Cool...

````Laila is envious of her maids who can conveniently meet their boyfriends. The sprawling fields of tall crops provide ample cover for any fooling around. Rural folk are refreshingly liberal. They suffer from no inhibitions and do not have frenzied religious streaks like urban middle-classes.````(Nazar Khan)

good to know that the Pakistani rurals – ‘dehaatee log’ -- are as MODERN as the Indian rural folks! --

it`s only the middle class shahrees that are so stuck-up -- about their actual backwardness of gender segregation -- calling it modesty

Nazar,
Thanks for a very well written article. I enjoyed reading it. You could be a professional writer. Regards.

khan saab `bera` fit topic `see tey likhya vee bera hee sona see`. but u forgot the nachnay waliyan along with the daru. they seem to be an important part of any `zamendaaran da viah` these days.

Hmm... nice enough an effort.
How many village weddings have you attended in real to come up with thie piece? Or is it information gleaned from stories and afsanas on a typical village marrige that has been the premise of this one? ;)

Charmingly written and absorbing. Nice leaps of narrative and perspectives!

Don`t the female relatives of the boy, or some irritable ``Uncle``, get upset and create a scene? Do people get drunk?

Hey, this was good . . . thanks Nazar.

Nazar Sahib,
Well done. I particularly liked the detailed description that you portrayed here. I`ve never been to a village wedding but heard a lot, about the grandeur scale of their ceremony. I liked the fact that everyone invited.
One thing I wanted to know is, where were the Photographers and Videographers? :)


Thank you.....

#9 by veeresh on January 9, 2003 9:54am PT

How typical of these so called modern hindus. Even in hindu weddings drinks are not served and rarely do people drink on their own. There are exceptions though.

Do people get drunk?? what a question...

Veeresh, every Punjabi wedding begins with manaying/reconciling with a russeya hoyea chacha/mama/tayea/bhra etc and ends with another ruseeya hoyea chacha/mama/tayea/bhra. That is part of the relationship dynamics in Punjab..no matter how khabbi-khaan, rich and powerful you are it is considered shameful to take off the barat of your son without your chacha/bhra etc present in it. So chacha and bhra know it is their golden chance to get the other side do lakeeraN with nakk and manaa them. During the wedding something happens like not enough pakoRay/tandoori/daru, no chhaap for chachi, someone said something about someone etc etc and wedding ends with another russeya hoyea person. Such nakhras were usually done on boy`s weddings while even russay hoye relatives showed msome humility and usually show up on daughter`s wedding with one or two invitations. At least thats how I have seen during my younger years. Now that urban culture is taking off in rural areas also, no one gives a damn as long as mian biwi raazi.

The show of nachnay walis on wedding is getting out of hand. Some of them are ultra ugli and have a pateela worth of meat hanging from the chins, legs, arms, and a full daig on the waist.

Punjabi comedian named Ghuggi(for some Gugghi) has a hillarious skit on this. He says if the number singers and dancers kept growing like that they will have to go door to door to advertise and sell their skills like chhabRi wale. While bargaining on the wages of a nachan wali:
Customer: nachan wali de kinnay paise laoge ji?
Ghuggi: pooray 500 laggan ge.
Customer: nai eh te ziyada ne thorhay ghatt karo.
Ghuggi: nai ji dasseya na pooray 500 laggange ikk paisa ghatt nai ho sakda.
Customer: nai kujh te riayat karo na
Ghuggi: vekho bhai sahib, paise te laggan ge pooray par je kaho te kapRay ikk do hor ghaTaa dewaNge.

No wedding reception is complete without firni and zardah!!! :-)
I have a question...it wasn`t stated here, but when the baraat arrives, and the dulha raja sits in anticipation (or whatever) on the sofa, is he offered a glass of milk by a female relative of the dulhan? Does this happen in Muslim weddings? I`ve only been to one and I don`t remember. The Christian weddings...whether they be in the pind, as my parents` wedding was...or in a shehar like Sialkot, a female relative of the bride offered a glass of milk to the groom upon his arrival. I never really understood the significance of that until much later when it was suggested it may have to do with fertility.
Good article!

ali87:

Punjabi Hindu weddings almost always have alcohol served. Punjabis are among the few Hindu communities in which drinking has traditionally not been a taboo.

#11 by dullabhatti on January 9, 2003 11:37am PT

Incidently this practice of singers (not nachne walis) had come to be seen in Indian muslim weddings too over the last few years. It usually meets with some resistance. some relatives simply dont attend weddings where singers(singing filmi songs on a small stage with live music) are known to be present.
I think now it is being viewed as a Crass Idea of late and these have reduced to a large extent.
This is in a urban Scenario im talking about in southern India.

#14 by satyavadi on January 9, 2003 3:34pm PT
may be.. But I have been to a couple of punajbi weddings. only in one did i find younger men drinking on the sly away from the publics attention.
but this was not in punjab so it might be the exception.