Children, Sleeping

it seems that you love eliot... i do too.....but i try not to write like him, which is hard to do

Shabbo Shabbo

temporal; sure, will do. :)

Ana, semipreciousme, Samina Shah, Siddiqui sahab, Sridhar-jee; glad you liked the poem! thank you.

Farzana; *hic* (ek tau ye hichkiyan pata nahin kahan se lag gaee hain) bohat shukriya aap ki himmat afzai ka. :)

Harpreet, Hasan sahab; when I wrote the poem it was just a memory of watching my younger brother/cousins getting up in the morning.

Hasan sahab, mein tau samajhta tha ke main ne is poem ko khud raat ke andhere mein se dhoondha tha; mujhe kya pata tha ke iski saheli bhi waheen chuppi thi, saiyyon mein muskurati hui. aapka shukriya humein milane ka!

Harpreet, thanks for the kind words, jigar! Not entirely convinced I`m as good as you think I am (had to look up ``transmute`` in the dictionary) but truly pleased that you like my work.

Aamir

re: the poem
Good one, Aamir. Keep it up. No one will tell you this, but there is much merit in brevity. Keep your poems and thoughts brief, just like this one. Let others wonder what you really meant. Your poems evoke a picture. Is it about the Pediatric Internship in US as some people are suggeting? If so, my sympathies. I know what it is like. As Americans would say, been there, done that.
Sridhar

aamir

don`t have any meaningful thing to add...just dropped in to say...keep sharing...also....keep posting the poems on the unplugged thread...


the night, having coaxed the last of the light
succumbs
to the light of dawn

...t

Farzana


{{but to me poetry has to perforce contain an element of vulnerability. Or am I being naive? }}

- I think all writing has many functions and availabilities to the reader, I dont think you are being naive, in fact I think that implicit in the very nature of poetry is the vulnerability of appraisal and display. After all, the poet renders his/her emotions, insight and observations into words, and explicitly or subliminally puts it forward for consumption and display.

I think good poetry is the succesful handling of the oblique with the explicit, the metaphor with the literal, the symbol with the concrete. It is tricky and if it fails, it fails dreadfully. This poet pulls it off. I think Aamir has a nuanced and innate poetic sensibility. He is the real thing.

Aamir

Is it really about a medical intern on night shift?

I read it as a father observing his children rising from their slumber, putting on their shoes, getting ready for school.

Which is good, because everybody reads it differently I suppose.

-h-

Harpreet:
[Some things are beyond technique]

That is precisely my point. I talked about raw emotion being overtaken by technique, which I see as quite distinct from form. A sonnet can be awash with feeling. It is just that sometimes are used like a hammer where a chisel would work better...it is certainly not about this poem...but to me poetry has to perforce contain an element of vulnerability. Or am I being naive?

Btw, this has nothing to do with Aamir, who does have a heart :)

A good read.

Ras

Aamir mian -- masterfully hidden snapshot of the night duty of a poor Intern -- doing Pediatric rotations -- whose ``night is no longer a silent prayer/but the inside of a shoe turning around/Backward into dawn``.... bravo .. what a way to express the night...!!!

don`t worry Aamir miaN -- u will soon -- under your residency -- turn around the night of ur interns like the inside of a shoe -- soon:-)

Farzana

Some things are beyond technique

-h-

``...The night is no longer a silent prayer
But the inside of a shoe, turning around ..``

Excellent.

....as always...beautiful yet tangible....

Really nice..aamir.

Farzoo..
re `the other one is a lazy bum...` hai hai!!! *laugh*

(Am not sure if this went through earlier)

A: I think Harpreet has said it...but could it also be that it is your art keeping life `alive`?

Having said this, although I like most of the images, I am beginning to fear that technique could at some stage overtake raw emotion. It is not likely to happen soon. Or perhaps, you like to think over your emotions...

I have begun to see you as Chowk`s resident poet anyway :) The other one is a lazy bum...

Farzana

Oh man

I can just picture these gems coming to you as you observe the world surrounding you, as you watch the patients at your practice, as you read a book and wonder at the mystery of literary engagement, as you see your children, or nieces or nephews rising in the morning.

You transmute life into art.

-h-