Life with Wife

Enjoyed this. Thank you.

Look forward to life with wife!

well, i have enjoyed this too although i am single:)

Love is life
but the problem is Wife

You are obviously a man at peace
Married to someone with no headaches
And no head grease
And I see you get your sexual kicks
At home
Not on the street
Nor with strange women in heat
And that my friend
Cant be beat
And so you make centaur #3
Dead meat
And Rozaiba # Four
Will from now say No! to the whore
While Kashaziz # Two
His wife obviously responds to his requests
With a shoe
And so with Ansari # One
I thank you my friend
For writing just for fun.

life with wife somehow brings meaning to the madness. theres a certain order among all the chaos.
and then theres the settled in & worn out routine that we have all come to love & despise.
the human soul longs for routine, it doesnt like surprises at every step and turn. thats probably why so many of us bite the bullet and stay that way.

boring life is fun.

Life with 4 Wives

Life with four wives is full of suspense for the husband and fun for the servants and neighbors. Recently I went to the beach looking for 5th wife so that I can get rid of my Ist wife. During my Mmaghrib prayer at the beach, I saw my first wife passing by on the back of a camel in the arms of our camel driver.

It was such a juicy story that I rushed to my second wife to tell her and win some brownie points. I found my second wife making breakfast for our cook who was snoring in her bedroom. The plot thickened and I rushed to my third wife to complain about unfaithfulness of the first two.

I found her watering the plants and cutting the flowers for our gardener who had been tired of tending the plants and planting his seeds during frigid wintery night. So I rushed to my fourth wife. I had confidence in her for being prettiest, young, attractive, antiwar and progressive.

Thank god, I found her alone watching TV. One of her lady friend just left to take part in the peace rally. Before I could open my mouth to tell her all about infidelities of the three others, she wanted me to rush to Wal-Mart and get her more batteries. She used up all the batteries in all other appliances.

So I rushed to the departmental store and got her bunch of Cd-Ni recharageables for rest of the year. Life with 4 wives is full of surprises every day.

This is quite opposite of life with one wife but one wife sometime is more than 4 wives - like Mrs. General Zia. The best thing about having one wife who is more than 4 wives is absolute trust in her faithfulness and no chance of marital rape.

``Before I could open my mouth to tell her all about infidelities of the three others, she wanted me to rush to Wal-Mart and get her more batteries. She used up all the batteries in all other appliances.
``

Ha ha ha. That was good....

#5
Very good piece of wit , sir

The change in centre of gravity at home.

In our culture, a new bride enters home looking down, helpless and quite vulnerable.

Then gradually, he presence, aura, influence and authority grows. Meanwhile the bridegroom who initially has a vision of a conquerer gradually reduces in size.

She takes over the control in a clever calibrated manner.

Initially, a little blackmail of visits to her home depriving the pleasures of the congugal rights to the husband who has waited for so long high and dry.

Then a control of the keys and finances of home.

This is followed by taking over the full control of the servants.

By now, she is in a position to restrict the behaviour of you relatives in your home.

Now the stage has come for a bit of control over you. Your smoking and drinking are not too welcome.

And the final stage is when she controls which of your friends is welcome at home.

By now she has grown children who are all sold to her and to your in-laws.

It is her house. You have no authority even to shift a picture frame. You move from one chair to another as the cleaning lady cleans the house.

An affair by you now is like creating an earthquake at home.

At this stage, my friend, it is best to let her rule the home and you relax.

This is the secret of happiness. (or helplessness!)

“Life is calm, calculated and in the open. No surprises, no apprehensions, no long waits and no confusions” ……with…….. “the cook, the ayah and the sweeper.” – AND ---a “Wal-Mart “ – nearby!!

Naturally:-)

#7:
Seems like the whole family is happy. Wives are happy with homily chores..husband is happy shopping in the electronics dept of wallmart...maali bhi khush ...baawarchi bhi khush....I am sure neighbours are happy too.

btw - where do u live -- omar khayyam miaN?

``beneath the bough``?

In my part of the world, its different.... The guy enters his house with fruit and yells, Look everyone, I`ve brought fruit for all of us. Nobody replies. He goes to his wife and says, Jaanu I`ve brought fruit for you.. she yells ``Apni maa ko de jis ke is umar main bhee fashion nahee khatam hotay``.... he gets mad and goes to his mom, Ammi aap ke liye fruit laya hoon. She yells too ``Dafa ho ja! Apni beewee ko day jis ke neechay laga hua hai!!``
The guy, complaining why his wife and mom never stop fighting, goes upstairs and offers the fruit to his old father, who again, has his own tensions, ``Beta un logon ko ja ke do jin ka ghar hai! mera ghar to nahee, main to do dino ka mehmaan hoon pata nahee kab maut aa jaye! Meri kis ko parwah!``
:)

I think I am gonna get married now, had enuff of this GF problems....

Thanx man for atleast making it sound easy, thats always a good start...

What a dweeb you are!

You`re idea of ``pleasing`` your wife is to take her out to dinner with kids in tow?

Romance is dead or what!