Torkham to Wagah

Ghalib Zaman

inna lilla hay wa inna ilayhe rajaoon.


I wish chowk had stuck with the amatuer writers but they have chosen to compromise on what made them unique and great.

It seems CHOWK has suddenly become exciting and the desi kallu, bhorroo, and wheatish types, the ones having the engli-culture and litlecher delusions, baring their brandished bums.

O what price these slaves won`t pay to be free to be accepted as the massas colonised clone.

``Meiraa yeh haal boot kee toe chaat taa hooN mein
unn kaa yeh hukm daikh miray farsh per naa reeng``


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Urstruly:
(How would you write pillow-talk, in makhee pey makhee translation as a pAnjabi from Pakistan?)
Please access this and tell me what you make out of it. Whosoever posted it as an article on CHOWK may or may not be the `Headless Chicken`. The `original` one also needs scrutiny. It has some telltale signs. You can easily figure them out.

Printed jan.15 2003 Outlook.
(for your convenience)

http://www.outlookindia.com/full.asp?fodname=20030115&fname=headless&sid=1


THE HEADLESS CHICKEN

Greetings gentle readers,
Do you care who or what is this Headless Chicken, one who seems to have access to a keyboard, to top it?

The headless chicken is inspired by Manto and by R.K. Laxman. [Writer`s claim -- Ed] The headless chicken keeps religion and sex in the bedroom. The headless chicken is plural and singular. The headless chicken strides the world with absolute ease but is unable to hop across the Indo-Pak border. The headless chicken is you and me and all of us but most of all it is like the waiter at a 3-star hotel, watching and observing and crying and laughing and hanging around for tips. The headless chicken plagiarises like hell from day to day life. Join the headless chicken.

The headless chicken paused to, as it is said euphemistically, answer the nature`s call, took a piss at the top of the world where the GT Road begins and that`s where he met a brother. This is where it leaked out into, while they were chatting, circumcised and uncircumcised.

Here is something from memory of past experiences. I hope you`ll enjoy reading it.

--------------------the article-----------------------------------------------------

Next week the Headless Chicken travels from Amritsar to Aligarh. Maybe. Maybe not. Did you like the first journal of the Headless Chicken? [We have reasons to suspect that the Headless Chicken doesn`t really care -- Ed]
____________________________________________________________
Is it not amazing that CHOWK staff printed even the outlook`s editors note as CHOWK editors note?

Urstruly: The plot thickens. I do have clues. where has nalaique gone?

tahmed32: Can a headless chicken lay egg is the bigger question. Laying eggs is by instinct whereas voting for or against or boycotting is acquired skill with experience. Some people have more expertise than others in acquiring this skill which is part of an undergraduate freshmen (oooops, freshwomen for my very dear Shahji) course called Democracy.

It appears that headless chicken does retain some memory effect of acquired knowledge of pre-headless life. For example it edited boobs to cleavage due to the ethics learned at AkoRa Khattack University of ultimate knowldge, little learning - mostly yearning for burning the turning of time.

One of the way to turn the clock back is to make watches that move anti-clockwise. This great invention of starting the clock at midnight at 24:00 and decreasing is so well ingrained acquired skill that it is even retained in the two curved tail feathers of the headless chicken. Who would have thought that a headless chicken would come up with the most effective mean to oppose US imperialism and western colonialism?

However, one drawback of turning the clock back is the undue importance of back, back in AkoRa Khattack. Because the back is now more precious than forward, it is more valued and better protected. It puzzled the scientists at akoRa khattack for decades to devise a cost effective technique for protecting behind because natrurally eyes look forward.

Finally an ingeneous way was devised to overcome this difficulty. It was a two tier approach to tackle this mother of all problems. First evolution eas deemed work of Satan because it forced eye sockets into looking forward only and second a mirror was planted on the lid of naswar container so that everytime naswar is taken out, mirror is used to keep an eye on the behind.

With such great efforts, humanity was saved from the claws of Us imperialism, time was turned back to past perfect and the pgilosophy of `behind before front` led to a sea change in logic and rational thinking. Now old was better than new, women were looking for older men and men were mor interested in older women. It finally brought great relief to antique dealers

Olympic games added several more supports such as backward merathon, backward running and backward swimming. In team supports, opponent goal was on the back.

Amazing! All this because a headless chicken retained the acquired knowledge in the tail fathers and used it in the best interest of humanity - back to the future. In the aquarian conspiracy hatched from the eggs of headless chicken, the scientific knowledge was lost due to its uselessness. Now when people traveled from Torkham to Wagah on GT Road, they knew nothing that certain foods rich in sulfur containing aminoacids or indole make the atmosphere in buses more smelly than foods rich in fibre and carbohydrates. Now fart was just a fart, just as fart was just a fart in the past.

I for one dont care abt headless chicken`s (who btw reminds me of headless nick from harry potter the ghhooost - his identity is so ambigous like a ghoooost) plagiarism. I loved the article! the good old days when khan babas were women-protecting man-loving(cant use the F orbidden word) naswar-eating men. Now theyre all jusy talibans!
looking forward to the next piece!

CHOWK STAFF: I notice below the headless chicken is a sign that says ``I vote no to war`` (presumably this is about Iraq) that one may click on. There is no room for anyone wishing to vote ``YES to war on Iraq``.
I thought such Hobson`s Choices were presented to the community only by military dictators in Pakistan (and Iraq too, per recent ``elections``) making a mockery of the election process through a single-choice ``referendum``. I never expected to see CHOWK STAFF do this.

So, Headless..er...can I call you by your first name, seeing this is the first time we are meeting..? Being on the other side of the barbed fence I am anxiously waiting for the continuatuon of the journey across to my land. Then you will tell me who Shaan is, as opposed to Musharraf and why he monopolises all your movies. Let me know if you find good nihari this side and we will all probably meet up. and sing old songs...har fiqr ko dhuen mein udata chala gaya....so much smoking you see....pleasant journey but have to warn you about a relish for tandoori moorg

#19 by sameerJB on January 17, 2003 10:45am PT


Try another attempt at understanding the foot note....


[We have reasons to suspect that the Headless Chicken doesn`t really care -- Ed] `

Thanks Chowk Staff

Indeed the headless chicken thinks that it still has a head some thing that got lost some where in the attempts of the west to subdue it and the need to earn a living and now lives on the tips of those in power.

headless...
what a fun travelogue! khush amdeed khush amdeed! though something tells me you`ve been here a while, perhaps with your head! Looking forward to reading more!

Soooooooo! It is chowk-staff. Thanks a lot. Now if you don`t mind, I am going to rate five star to this article.

Urstruly: The original post was not cut-n-paste job as one can notice unedited posting. As I said, I have no idea at all about chicken guy or gal but after making my position clear, I have no qualm at all about it.

I am also puzzled by the editor`s note at the end: `[We have reasons to suspect that the Headless Chicken doesn`t really care -- Ed] `

Okay people,

So what`s gonna happen to this little spot then???

Umer M.

Perhaps the headless chicken lost its head soon after leaving Torkham, having failed to duck when some khan bachha in the seat behind him abruptly hurled a mouthful of thick, high-speed, armor-piercing spit. As khan bacchas are prone to do sometimes while engaged in deep thought while sitting in a bus.
As for the moongphhali, what happened to ``anday garay-y-y-y``?

Ref #14 by Urstruly

Actually Headless is a shameless plagiarizer - you are very right. Headless does cut-and-paste. After all, Headless has a very short life - just lost its head and it is savoring life before rigor-mortis sets in.

Behind Headless there may be one or more writers of uncommon talent. If you or someone you know has been plagiarized/celebrated then please make sure that Headless knows your feelings.

Chowk Staff

What is this? Did someone plagiarize sameerjb`s post and played a satire on us or did sameerjb cut`n`paste headless`s article in one of his previous posts. Sameerjb has made his position ambiguos in #13. Who is the real author of this work, which by the way is not satire by any stretch of imagination - it is stereotypical and prejudiced.

stuka: I have absolutely no interest or reason to use another pen-name here at chowk. I don`t have the slightest idea behind such a `smart` move by some extremely `talented` individual. But I am not mad at all - it is funny. Could this be OBL after daisycutters took care of the head in Tora Bora?

temporal:
aaye haiN woh mazar pae, ser ka bojh utaar kay
mujh say naseeb acchay haiN maray mazar kay

headless:

very entertaining and tongue in cheek...this said with a straight face...we have been told you do not have a head...therefore...

...in any case...welcome...and i know you will feel perfectly at home here...there are so many headless inter-actors that sometimes...;)
...looking forward to the journey...

...t