Forty Winks

I would have preferred to read this very well written piece on paper.
Anything over 2000 words becomes difficult on screen.

Welcome to CHOWK AA.

Ras

Excellent story, Abdullah! It left me a little disturbed and uneasy, which I suspect was what you wanted. Keep it up!

Welcome to Chowk Abdullah.
Definitely a well crafted experience. I havent seen Minority Report. So, will have to say, the delusional experiences seemed like something out of Arnold Schwarzeneggers` Martian sci-fi adventure Total Recall.

I agree with temporal to some extent. But I dont think you could`ve reduced this by one fourth or one fifth its current length. It read pretty well. I read this completely the first time round, but didnt put in a word. Rather amazed that not many have commented on this one uptil now.

Hope to read more from you.

thanks for a good long fulfilling short-story.

I totally agree with temporal..
this was exquisite! the concept of the dreamcatcher reminds me of minority report for some reason. Quite unique. You write very well, i could picture all of it which is always a good sign..

Do you write fiction, poems?
Do you live in the Bay Area?

FOSA (Friends of South Asia) is arranging a South Asian literary evening on Saturday, Feb 22, at Gates 104, Stanford University, at 4 p.m. Writers and poets of South Asian descent will read their original work. If you are a South Asian writer or poet, and are interested in reading your work on Feb 22nd, please contact Cemendtaur at Cemendtaur@caddworld.com, or call him at 408-244-6797.

Thanks.

C.

Abdullah:

welcome to chowk...please do not be discouraged by the number of replies...sometimes it is inversely proportional to the quality and subject matter...i wonder how this story would read if it is reduced to one fourth or one fifth of the present length?

rgds,

t

Great story Abdullah. I couldn`t stop once I had started. It must be my need to see things in images, but I could so visualise this as if it was a film. Hope to see more from you on Chowk.

I like how I get a feeling of being persecuted in this story seemingly about perspective, appearance, and illusions.