Tips by a Desi Playerette

#18 Posted by sakoooooot on March 16, 2003 8:41:33 pm

ummm..wut was that nonsense all about?

#17 Posted by aaria on March 16, 2003 12:56:19 pm

Sarah-

Its about time someone spoke up for all of us. Boys take note!! Well written and nicely done.. Amazing!

Cant wait to hear more from you in the upcoming future!

#16 Posted by hamid_81 on March 16, 2003 10:39:58 am

Good Article Sarah!
But only concern is with the last part.
``If a month or two passes and nothing has changed on your behalf, then obviously he’s not worth it and call it off. ``

Probably, if the guy sticks around that long with that kind of an attitude from you, he really likes you. But if you have doubts about him, then I don`t think it is right not to tell him about it earlier and just end the thing before it even gets started. Why hang him by a loose thread?Unless you find it amusing. Just be aware, that guys do have a way of working with the ways that you described above. Ahh! But I should be careful, not let let the secret out. But anyways. A good start! Keep writing!

#15 Posted by Ahmadzai on March 16, 2003 10:39:58 am

This is a good article. Takes us down the memory lane. Good suggestions for teens. Good beginning. Please keep it up.

Thanks God almost on the basis of these suggestions I am married to my sweetheart of school days and we are still in romance (better than love I guess) that gets tested every now and then when we are traveling ;)

# 14 by tahmed:

LOL.

#14 Posted by scout on March 16, 2003 9:13:50 am

another desi seventeen magazine type of article
.....

(sigh)

what happened to the good creative writing seen on chowk before :(

#13 Posted by tahmed32 on March 16, 2003 9:13:50 am

Sara: ``In my experiences it’s better to give your number...``
Interesting to see how it plays out from the female side. When I was your age (a long, long, time ago, back when the archaeopteryx flew and whales walked, i.e. in the 1970`s), I always had a heck of a time figuring out how far to go.
Having lived with one of your kind (i.e. with a female person) for two decades since, I still havent figured this out. But then, as the French (even though they have turned out to be frogs on Iraq, but that is another story meant for another board) say: vive l`difference. That is what keeps life worth living, imho.

#12 Posted by nazarhayatkhan on March 16, 2003 6:32:29 am

Surprisingly, everyone seems to be critical of the choice of the `Topic`.

`Relatonships` is a a complex and a very human subject. Cuts across all other boundaries of identity.

It may not mean much to the South Asians where the male has the label of being after `only one thing` and the female has the instinctive urge `to extract the maximum out of it`.

#11 Posted by Saminasha on March 16, 2003 6:32:28 am

Sarah,

Welcome to Chowk!

As an old and decrepit ABCD, I am glad to hear that it is possible for your generation to make normal contact with each other, rather than two people avoiding looking at each other at your aunty and uncle`s function where you are lucky if there is a cousin or girl your age around and there are tons of shrieking children running around the house and any conversation with each other would have terrible consequences :) ....so this is progress...and its new for me as I am sure for some other Chowkies...

Are ABCD guys generally players? Why? How do you think they perceive ABCD girls?

Hope to read more from you in the future!

#10 Posted by soldotna on March 16, 2003 2:07:13 am

Surf on to http://blowmeuptom.com/ (Tom Leykis Radio Show) for role reversal ....

#9 Posted by DRUMZ on March 16, 2003 2:07:13 am

Jus updating my page when i saw this. Lemme weigh in for a sec...

Why are guys so offended by things like this? Its usually girls that get played the most and the hardest. BTW, this piece isnt about playing, its about ACTING. Playing means having at least 2 at once. The two must not know eachother so that islamic sh1t doesnt count.

Some girls try so hard to be subtle that they often stink of despiration. Trust me theres only a select few who can pull this stuff off. But even these ones are just like most girls. See the thing about most girls is that they try to be like most girls. And most guys try to be like most guys.

Theres like 3-4 basic types of ABCD guys and girls. ``normal/GQ, shop at the gap,`` ``Hip Hopper``, ``Rocker`` ``study freak`` etc. Its all assimilation, thats the game. They are attracted to whoever is hot at the minute to most ppl in their group.

The BEST playas first soul search. They find out the things they offer that no one else has. They emphasize these qualities and these qualities stand out like a mufukka cuz EVERYONE else in the game is busy assimilating with everyone else in the game.

My best advice is that youll be at your top if ur doing the opposite of what most guys/girls are doing. This will make u different, unique and interesting.

Peace. Oh and most Desi girls are just awful at playing...

#8 Posted by harimau on March 16, 2003 2:07:12 am

Hey, not fair! This is World Cup season and I thought this was going to be about cricket.

#7 Posted by Sobia on March 16, 2003 2:07:12 am

wow..is chowk that hard up for articles? Sorry, don`t mean to be mean but really...what is this?

#6 Posted by nazarhayatkhan on March 15, 2003 7:54:33 pm

Sarah

Very good write up.

Moral of the story seems to be that if the guy remain one step behind in the emotional built up, puts the girl completely at ease with a matter-of-fact `indifference` and thus getting the sensitive female radar swiched off, he has a chance.

This takes times but the guy has to delibrately graduate through these stages of relationship:

(a) The comfort zone:- just being comfortable. Hi-Hello.
(b) Familiarity:- small incremetal dozes of familiarity. just knowing.
(c) Moving on to friendliness:- Cup of coffee - day time only.
(c) Converting it into affection:- an odd birthday card. Lunch. Movie.
(d) Intimacy:- Let her do the talking and open up with her hopes, frustrations, family, likes & dislikes. Cry on your shoulder.
(d) Finally, the passion:- self-explanatory.

#5 Posted by Tipu on March 15, 2003 7:53:32 pm

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#4 Posted by taimurmalik on March 15, 2003 7:53:32 pm

hey Sarah!

Welcome to chowk.

Any average 13 year old Joe Bloggs would be aware of this play slow centuries old method!!

And please don`t say that girls already don`t know more than all this :) and infact despite all this knowledge, girl gossip and warnings they sometimes just can`t keep their feet on the ground!!!

And what about you writing some pointers to help out the many simple souls on chowk from the land of the pure trying to hit the right chords with you ABCD girls! now that would be interesting ;)

cheers.