My Beautiful Rizwan

Samina,

You made my day! i don`t have any words to express myself and Thank you. I have just registered on chawk to express my feelings and to say thanks. Few words which may not relate to this article, but they remain one of the reason i landed on this page with my own story and went on reading the whole contribution of yours.

I was just checking for some stories posted by others regarding the corruption or abuse of power by military men. Recently i became a victim to one such incident. An ex- group captain of airforce who is now serving as director / secreatry of a division in establishment with some properties and God knows what other businesses. I rented an office from him at SF, but this person was not able to address the basic requirements like electricity and phone which were documented in the agreement even after 15 days of possession as promised by the owner, so i decided to leave the premises and thats the point which ignited the owner and started the saga. Right now he is trying all the ways he has to keep all the payment with him (12 months in advance), though i haven`t stayed a single day in that office. As per terms i have to pay 2 months rent and get rest of my money back but its not the case here. He is looking to `harap` everything! by using all his resources, even threatning police.

In simple words after researching more into his profile i came to know he is among the 109 offices who are re-employed in various civial departments ( which is a norm in military establishment to fulfil ex-military men in civilian posts ) under grade 19.

I had so much trust in military and i really like to admire army men and airforce in particular since i was child, i became entrepreneur instead of becoming a pilot, but still that feeling still remains inside me. But after this incident the whole image of air force was tarnished and i started to dislike them. I know few people in Airforce from whom i got to know about this person that he has long hands and a history of fraud, even they also disliked him. Its something which is happening in front of eyes but no one to stop it.

But thanks to the article by Samina, as it really bring in a refreshing feel in me and i told myself that after all if there are corrupts like the above mentioned person then there are untold Heroes like Mr. Rizwan and his company as well!

Thanks again Samina and i wish you best of luck and hope your children brighten the name of their father the way he brightened the name of Pakistan!

God bless us, God bless Pakistan and shame to people like that ex-group captain who is still fleecing the blood of ordinary citizens and most important Pakistan!

Faryal,

Actually, paying not a penny to anyone working on the Trust. In fact, all of us are spending from our own pockets. Zeb and Sheraz are working pro-bono during their off-work time for the next 6 months since we feel we can not afford to hire anyone during this time. We have an admin assistant, Zeeshan Samuel, who is interning with us for a small stipend. This is paid from the expense account we have established which is replenished once a month from Rizwan`s pension which the children and I receive. The office space has been donated by my father and mother, while my family and Rizwan`s friends are helping w/ the funds collection. We have 3 separate accounts - one for endowment, one for Zakat and a separate one for expenses. Our accounts will be posted on our website.

Insha Allah, the Trust shall be in a position to pay salaries soon for no project worth its name can be sustained long term without professionals handling it. For now, we only hope that our personal efforts will reap benefits and our first scholarship programs will begin within the next month.

Keep the faith my friend - good intentions bring good rewards.

yeh good article but really how much are you paying your management staff, few thousands i suppose!!!!!

Good article and a good effort too. You need good and reliable friends and family to carry out your work and from the reply of you mngt committee member you seem to have agood bunch of people. if you command respect than people will do things for you that you cannot imagine so best of luck. can you please give me your mailing address so that i can make a donation. and i would request other people to do the same.
Thank you Samina and Zeb

Samina,
It seems that Rizwan had found the `handle`, and so have you. :)
Samir

I have gone through each and every reply to Samina’s article and feel that I should tell you about my association with her and working for Air Cdre Rizwanuallah Khan Shaheed Memorial Trust and what it means to me personally.

I have known Samina for the last few years. I first met her while working for Paktel where she joined to head the IT department. Working very closely with her, I found her to be an excellent person and an excellent friend, full of life and always there to help anyone who came to her. We were in contact with each other even after both of us left the organization. I still remember she always used to talk about her family, her husband and children.

I had the opportunity of meeting Rizwan Bhai very formally on company functions and weddings of colleagues. He seemed to be a very quiet person unlike Samina. But they were perfect together. Everyone who knew him always spoke very highly of him.

Then one day I heard the sad news of the air crash, it came as a shock to me. I went to their place and saw an otherwise extremely happy person in a state of despair and shock.

After few weeks we met again and she mentioned setting up a trust in Rizwan Bhai’s name. From that day onwards I have been involved with the management committee of this trust.

It is now my proud privilege to introduce Air Cdre Rizwanullah Khan Shaheed Memorial Trust to you, launched in the memory of Air Cdre Rizwanullah Khan, who embraced shahadat on February 20th 2003.

Air Cdre Rizwanullah Khan Shaheed Memorial Trust’s aim is to contribute towards nation building by facilitating quality education of young scholars to achieve excellence in academics and to provide this service regardless of ethnicity, gender or religion. We are not just looking for needy children but ones who are bright and capable. The promotion of literacy is one of the most fundamental way in which a person can improve the lives of others around him. Air Cdre Rizwanullah Khan Shaheed Memorial Trust seeks to educate the less fortunate and give them the opportunity and a better chance to survive in today’s world. With your help and support this venture will be able to provide sustainable scholarships to capable children so that they may get a chance to use their intellect, develop their skills, improve quality of life and eventually add to the nations pool of skilled human resource.

Our web-site is coming up shortly where a donor list would be provided for readers and much more details regarding the trust would then be available. Also, all donors would be able to participate in various fund raising activities throughout the country where a large number of people are expected to take part.

A system of credible monitoring and complete financial transparency has been maintained since the launch of Air Cdre Rizwanullah Khan Shaheed Memorial Trust. This trust has been registered under the trust act and has a legal standing. The Trust has also been registered as a non-profit, non-political, non-government organization with the Government of Pakistan under the Income Tax Ordinance. The registration number is 1054/1 and NTN no. 1530405-1.

Air Cdre Rizwanullah Khan Shaheed Memorial Trust needs your encouragement, enthusiastic and generous financial support so that many underprivileged children can benefit from the trust and bring about a value based improvement in the educational system of our country. The Trust is being managed on a voluntary basis for the first 6 months. The Trust’s bank accounts are held with Union Bank Limited, F-7 Branch, Islamabad. There are two separate accounts, one for the endowment fund (5801-048626-090) and the other for expenses. Please note that NO operational expenses are paid from the endowment fund account. All expenses are paid from the expense account which is funded by the monthly pension received by Air Cdre Rizwanullah Khan’s family.

Please if you need more information regarding the trust or for making donations, write to me on rizkhantrust@hotmail.com

Zeb Ayaz
Member Management Committee

Dear Samina Rizwan,
I`ve been browsing chowk for a while now but your touching tribute to your gem of a person and husband, has compelled me to actually activate an account and sign in.
I was so deeply touched by your account, I prtomptly made a colleague read through it...I intend to make copies and show them to my father, another airforce gentleman, and many others.
Unfortunate and tragic as it is, YOU TRULY ARE A BLESSED WOMAN TO HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO A MAN ALL WOMEN ASPIRE FOR AND DREAM OF BUT ONLY A RARE FEW LIKE YOU GET THE CHANCE TO.
Must confess, I felt a bit jealous too knowing here was a woman who actually had the opportunity to live and share her life with the quintessential ideal man...indeed very few men can respect, love, appreciate and encourage their wives the way your husband did...its even rarer for a man to have such a positive and all encompassing influence on his woman...A sensible and compassionate man can, not only make life beautiful but also meaningful.
You too must have had your share of qualities for him to be so completely besotted and committed.
My heart goes out to you and your kids...
I will not try to offer you sympathy or words of solace as your grief is unsurmountable and mere words will not help overcome it...but I also know that you are a courageous lady and will triumph over all adversities with the qazana of beautiful memories of your equally truly beautiful Rizwan.
And just in case you tire of your profession, take heart, another avenue is wide open...you could become a wonderful writer! I couldn`t help but notice the simple, lucid style of your writing...each verb and adjective was so apt and in its place.
May blessings of Allah be upon you and your children.
Samina Khan.

Well it was wonderful, really thought provoking and captivating. I heard quite a lot of Rizwan uncle from my phupha and phuphee....Air Commordore Wasim-ud-din and Norren Phupho ...who happens to be your good family friends and Rizwan uncle`s coursemate. It so happened that i was scanning few articles in my lab at LUMS, that this article of yours caught my attention.

umm....whatelse, this trust that you plan to make is also a brilliant idea. I am presently doing MBA from LUMS, lemme know if i can do anything in that regard.

God Bless U

Taimur

This is the first column I read on chowk.com and this is my first reply. With a truly sensational touch, this reality exists in many families who have lost their ``Rizwan`s`` in these kind of crises. As I too come from an army family, and have lost one of my best friend in Kargil. I can feel how difficult it is to lose someone who is very close to you. My best regards to your family and your shaheed Rizwan.

I`m very impressed you the power of expression Samina has...it takes a heart and true feelings to write these words in this way.

Remarkable and powerful!!!!!

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Hmm, Thank you Samina for sharing this. Very powerful, very thought provoking. I am confused on one issue though. It has been mentioned lot of times that ``wives are used as a tool to get promotions`` , and Rizwan was against it. Can someone tell us, what kind of activities by the wives help the husband get promoted? It seems interesting.

Samina:
I had asked about the education fund, so thanks for providing some more insights. Indeed, this is a very healthy trend as people donate funds for children`s education in Pakistan. You may be aware that there are a number of such initiatives underway, often funded by expatriate pakistanis. I dont think the trend has picked up so much with well-off Pakistanis within Pakistan as yet, but I am not sure.
DIL (Directions in Literacy) is a prominent such intiative: http://www.4dil.org/html/2000c.htm
Another one is MMBMT (their office is in Islamabad, headed by Retired Colonel Malik, but I dont think they have a website). MMBMT is interesting: they have funded 60 girls schools in the most remote areas of Mianwali.
I dont know if you have thought of different ways in which you can make sure the money is being used most effectively. In case it is of any use, I am describing a few models below that you may already be familiar with:

a. The MMBMT model: They open schools in villages with no girls schools. They pay for the teacher, the community provides the school building. They match individual schools to donors, so the latter have a sense of ownership of the school (which they can visit as well on parents days etc. as honored guests). You can try this yourself (requires work) or fund the NGO.

b. Scholarships: A friend of mine simply gives out college scholarships. He has a selection committee of three people in his village near Kohat for this purpose, and they go by certain criteria.

c. Taking over govt schools: Musharaffs govt started this scheme - there is an NGO in Lahore (I forget the name).

Anyway, I am sure you know what to do living in Islamabad. I just threw in my 2 bits in case they are any use.

Once again my condolences on your great loss.

Dear Samina:

Your response to all the comments, replies and not the least thrashing of the military, is as graceful as your glowing tribute to your late husband.

My own mother became widow at the age of 32 with four children and pregnant with my youngest sister. I was seven and half years old at that time.

Being eldest among siblings and raised by a mother with almost no source of income, no proper education, few readers at this forum would have closer acquaintance with the very bitter realities of life of ordinary Pakistanis, than me. I have personal experiences of being poor, a life without father, in the land of pure.

Today, I am 33, father of one 18-months old unguided missile.

Dear Samina, a long, periodically pretty hard, lonely journey is ahead of you. May Allah Almighty bless you with the strength, nerves and sabbr to execute your motherly duties in a nice way. Amen.

As far as military is concerned, please, allow me add few words. Rather simple, more power you have the more responsibility you carry on your shoulders. Right? So, is it unfair to hold military responsible, in proportion to the power, clout, resources they gobble, for the mess we are in? More on this some other time.

Take care,
With best regards and heartiest well wishes.
A A.

Friends,

From the bottom of my heart, thankyou for the heart warming replies. My children and I are overwhelmed by the love and affection flowing to us from all of you. Thank you also for the criticism - and the thoughtful defense some have put up on my behalf - for if expression of views does not initiate debate, what good is it. Even in the lines that trash the military, I havent seen a single comment degrading my Razi and for that too I am humbly grateful. It is great good luck for a human being to leave this world and not have a single person utter a foul word about him. Razi was blessed in life and remains blessed beyond it.

There was a comment that I had not used the word death. I didnt notice - it wasnt intentional. Admittedly, I dont feel his departure has ended my love story. I dont feel concluded. Perhaps I shall once I am able to do something in his name that has value, that says ``I paid my debt to the nation by losing him, and his by doing this``.

To another friend who asked about ``pilot error``, the irony is that Rizwan was not flying the plane, nor were any of the 3 other fighter pilots on board, ACM Mushaf Ali Mir, AVM Razzaq and AVM Saleem Nawaz. This was a passenger plane, not an F-16 or Mirage that these men flew. These 4 were undoubtedly amongst the most skilled fighter jocks of the PAF. They dodged death for an average of 25 years simply thru skill, attention to detail, following procedure. Tragically, they were passengers and not flyers on this fateful flight. Their regret, if they could voice it now, would probably be that they would rather have gone while ``in the cockpit, in control``. The Lord chose not to give them that satisfaction. Whatever the reason for the crash, it was not their mistake that took their lives.

As for the many critical remarks concerning the military, Rizwan would agree that it was high time that institutions in the country were questioned on many matters, not just the military but the bureaucracy and the political machinery as well. Extending the statement ``jaisi qaum waisa leader`` isnt it also true keh ``jaisi qaum waisi fauj``? I remember my husband saying often ``the military is a microcosm of our society at large. Why are we expected to be different? Because 40% of the budget goes to the military? Where are those decisions made - in the barracks, in the cockpit? No, they are made in the power corridors and these are inhabited by all sorts - politicians, military men, bureaucrats, civilian contractors, international dealers. The jawan and the young Captain continue to have a passionate desire to die defending their homeland, as does the fighter pilot who takes off in his aircraft - sometimes 3 times a day - knowing full well that this could be his last flight. Leave them out of this debate, for they are a special breed. Let us question the powerbrokers, and let us do so consistently and assertively``. So, bol keh lab azad hain terey.

But I request that we dont generalize. Just like all of us SPCs are not corrupt or depraved, so not all generals are either. I knew ACM Mushaf Ali Mir and Mrs. Bilquis Mushaf as my own family, and if my thoughts have touched your heart in any way, and if Rizwan`s profile has made a statement to you about integrity and honour, please just take my word on this; Mushaf Bhai was a good man, an upright and honest soldier, one who had the nation`s best interest at heart. There is sound defense for all of the allegations made here about him, but this is not the place to present it, nor am I the rightful presenter. I think we owe his 3 children, and the families of these fine men - officers and non-officers alike - the respect to dwell upon their goodness at this time. ``Ikhlaq`` too is a form of godliness.

Finally, someone asked about the Trust. Razi and I supported the education of a limited no. of children. This was something we hoped to do on a larger scale after his professional duties were complete. We hoped to retire to a country home in Chak Shahzad (which we both knew we could not afford!), tend a garden and read books - Razi sporting a pony tail and me losing some serious weight - and do some good for the children of Pakistan. Well, as I said, I`ve paid my debt but his still remains.

The Trust has been set up, half of Rizwan`s flyer`s insurance being the first donation. Our children have offered their monthly pension payment to foot the operational expenses (Bilal`s vote has been assumed since he is only 3 and can be bought for a spiderman toy). We now need to raise funds and launch our education campaign.

Our mission statement is: To contribute towards nation building by facilitating quality education of young scholars to achieve excellence in academics. To provide this service regardless of ethnicity, gender or religion.

Our website should be up within the month and I hope to seek support on chowk and other such. For now, in case of queries - and if you have money to spare - pls write to rizkhantrust@hotmail.com. Until the details are up on the website, my friends and family are doing their best to provide as much information thru this temporary communication channel as possible.

I request your prayers to keep Rizwan`s memory alive through this venture. I can only claim good intentions and hard work, the rest I leave to Allah and his shaheed.

this board says so much without really saying it all

samina
you have accepted a tremendous loss- the death of a loved partner, with grace and dignity... the kids should have off you and your husband both

akhan
why dont you then take your little rear behind out of the cockpit that is causing such condescension for us ordinary civilians whose rear ends remain on land?

hozeifa #60: Your points are generally on the mark.

However, 99.9% of the military retirees now are in poor financial conditions, after retirement. I believe more than 90% of the military is non-officer, i.e. jawans. So they are poorer than the common man. And around only 1 to 4% of the officers become Generals. And one has to be a General to become a millionaire, through corruption. So it is not theoretically possible for so many to leave as millionaires, even if we assume every retired General is a millionaire (which obviously isn`t the case).

The true ordinary people are the jawans and masis etc. However, some of the people I am talking about are the kids of jawans and masis. You would be surprised to find out how many. A very close friend of mine won the Sword of Honor in the Army. He is the son of a jawan. He beat out sons of Generals, businessmen etc. in the competition. There are, I believe, certain seats set aside for jawans` kids in Military College Jehlum. So he studied there, and went on to PMA. His elder brother is an airman in the PAF. This friend is going great guns in the Army, doing well in all his courses, and we all know he will be a General someday.

Now what should he do if he is offered a Generalship. Should he refuse it? Or should he take it. If he takes it, does he automatically become corrupt, and an, ``uncommon man,`` even if he is an honest man, which as long as I knew him he was.

Similarly a Captain who just got the Nishan-i-Haider was in the PAF in the airman (jawan) category. He left and was able to make it in the Army as an officer, and died valiantly in Kargil. Is he corrupt? Should we denounce him now, or if he had become a General? He was buried in his village. Is he not common?

People need to stop generalizing, and point out specific cases, with proof. If one starts generalizing than all Sindhis are lazy and all Punjabis are usurpers and exploiters.

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All of you people should be ashamed of yourself who are talking rubbish about the Military. I am a son of an AIR FORCE Officer a Retired Air Commodre. Do you even know how it is going to work every day. Every day when these brave officers go into the skies- thier families do not know if thier husbands/sons/fathers/brothers would come back and joing them for lunch.
bein an Airforce pilot is the hardest job in the world when you have to fly and with even 0.000001 percent margin of error your life can finish.
What the hell are you civilians talking about. all you do is sit behind a desk all day ``working`` while these brave military officers risk thier lives everyday to save your rear ends.
Shame on YOU!

Samina,
My father tells be great things about your husband. I am sure he was just as you described him. Apart from your husband I have met all of these officers in various social gatherings. All of them were ``Chief Material`` and very ambitious.

Truly a tragic, heart tearing story. May allah give her strength to overcome such loss, and give him place in jannah. ameen.

Some of the remards on this article are outright rude. Please show respect to Samina and late Rizwan. Refrain from discussing politics, PAF or other subjects which can be cast a shadow on this beautifully woven artcle.

I think she and her family has, will, and suffer the loss of a marvellous man for years to come. Lets not disrespect them in any way shape or form.

Thanks

Well, it would be hard to disagree that it is not a very appropriate place to trade arguments on the overall role of the military in Pakistan, I am nevertheless greatly disturbed to observe the growing distrust towards the garrison at least among those who have access to the Internet and possess ability to express themselves.

Not a nice omen for Pakistan, its armed forces and consequently for the defence of the country. As M A Jinnah put it, “A country without a strong air force is at the mercy of any aggressor…” No one can deny that a county where army lacks wholehearted support of the populace is an easy prey for internal and external threats.

Therefore, it is extremely important that the concerned authorities must take cognisance of the emerging trends at the earliest and do their best to contain them. If that happens, AC Rizwan & AVM Razzaq will definitely become even happier in the Heavens.

Best wishes for the families of the shaheeds. From NCOs to CAS.
Baba Jee.

It is heartening to know that even people of ordinary background can rise to senior ranks in PAF. It is a matter of immense pleasure and comfort for all of us that competence and hard work still count.

At the same time, the other side of the story is equally disturbing. With little generalization, one can say that the same very individuals who joined armed forces empty-handed leave as multi-millionaires. In some cases, as billionaires.

How do we explain it? Doesn’t it indicate that there is something fundamentally wrong, somewhere?

PS. One more clarification is due. Are we not using some twisted definition of ordinariness/ simplicity? Dear readers, here comes some examples of simple and ordinary Pakistanis. Airmen. Jawans. Masis who come to clean houses of officers. Malis. Drivers.

Perhaps Samina, or someone else in the know, could shed some light on what actually may have happened. It appears obvious Rizwan was an outstanding aviator, thus `Pilot Error` does not seem likely, although reports of the same would have done nothing to assuage Samina`s wounds.

Rgds

Romair, please:

At the time of submitting this rejoinder, there were 56 replies to this moving write-up of Mrs Rizwan. To be sure, I have gone through all of the replies once again, quite attentively. I failed to find a SINGLE impolite, let alone disparaging word, used for AC Rizwan or AVM Razzaq.
Yes, in one post, someone did comment about ACM Mushaf – backed up with solid reasons. We don’t need to repeat them here. Otherwise,
1. Proper respect has been paid to Mr Rizwan and all other departed without compromising their sanctity or undertaking personal attacks.
2. I have already confessed in most explicit manner that YES it is sick to wish death for others and I am ashamed for that.
3. Yet another story, people like me wish death to bloodsucking leeches out of sheer powerlessness not out of malice. Moreover, it must be kept in mind that the individuals, to whom we curse, are themselves traders of death, literally NOT metaphorically. They are the ones who bear the ultimate responsibility of deaths of 136 Pakistani kids out of 1000 born (to quote Ms Nighat Yasmeen).
4. I am borrowing an interesting point put forward by some Raja Ibrahim on the discussion forum of the SAT. “By the way how can one respect/like or not hate those who can ignite an ammunition depot in the middle of a city of 1 million to cover up their own loot. Yeah, I am talking about Ojhri Camp. See, India (and Pakistan too) avoided civilian targets during 1965 and 1971. But our own generals didn`t mind putting a big city on fire themselves.
And you still talk about everything else but not the real crooks and have the courage/guts to defend/condone them.
I am sad, extremely sad to observe this inexplicable callousness.”
5. waqartalib has already answered some of your questions. Please, see reply #49.
6. At a certain level, you don’t need to know individuals, personally, to criticise them or register your anger. Millions of millions those who are vehemently opposed to Bush or for that matter Saddam – do they know them in person?
7. For convenience sake, I am pasting the part of my last reply addressing you. Please, confirm or refute.
Have you ever heard/read a SINGLE defaming word for battlefield martyrs from ANY Pakistani? Our opposition, condemnations, dislike and hatred is for armchair “ghazis”.
What you tend to forget is the tragic fact that those who lay down their lives on the borders are not who get awards and plots. In some cases we don’t even accept their dead bodies (remember NLI and Kargil). Many true Shaheeds normally don’t even get proper burial.
As someone wrote on South Asia Tribune, begum of a general with aching back has higher property at a CMH than that of a hawaldar from the LOC with Indian bullet in his chest.
See, that hawaldar will be put in a stinking jawans’ ward, while civilian drunk teenager son of a general will get the best possible treatment in VIP awards. Can you deny?

Please, rest assured, I have absolutely nothing personal against anyone, least of all these gentlemen. But I am really sick of half-baked truths to blatant lies. And I am bitterly opposed to this institutional rape of the country and its very poor citizens by the high command of the armed forces.
Take care.

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Beautiful words of love and tribute for a great spouse. May Allah bless brother Rizwan with Jannat, Ameen...!!!

To certain repliers, I think it would be most appropriate to refrain from non related comments and to focus on the love, regards and respect of Br Rizwan and his family.

Many of the writers have forgotten a senior Air Force official from the Zia era, whose name appeared amongst the list of the most corrupt armed forces officials in the world. This list was either in Time or Newsweek, I am not sure which.

Samina

Thank you for sharing these deep sentiments with us. Personal loss is hard to talk about but you`ve taken us all through the emotions you have experienced and provided a glimpse of the life that you shared with Rizwan.

May his memory bring you solace and may your children grow up to reflect both you and him and the love that you shared.

hnasir #51: Which part of my reply did you find an emotional blackmail?Could you please highlight? To the best of my knowledge, I was providing facts, about certain individuals. Something cannot be factual and a blackmail simultaneously

What you need to do is pick out each person in each organization and situation and highlight their faults and virtues with facts. Otherwise I am afraid you are just putting yourself on a pedestal assuming you are perfect and generalizing everyone to be at fault, everyone who is good and everyone who is bad.

If one wants to generalize then Pakistan being one the most corrupt and backwards countries in the world should be an indication that none of us deserve to criticize anybody and all of us deserve to be criticized.

I personally cannot accept people like sac criticizing people like AVM Razzaq in one big generalization. The later has done far more for his country than sac has and was from a far more of a common background. In a situation like that a person should step up and highlight the holier-than-thou attitudes of such critics. Specially if the people being criticized aren`t their to defend themselves.

If people have issues with Zia-ul-Haq, Musharraf, and Bangladesh, I fail to see why they would use this forum to let out their frustrations. To the best of my knowledge, none of the individuals on this flight was related to any of the above-mentioned. If they didn`t know the people who died in this crash personally I don`t understand how they can comment on anyone`s goodness or badness.

I had come across a one or two of them and found them to be quite decent people. Maybe a few of them were not decent people, but I cannot pass judgement without knowing them. As I said earlier those who disagree with me should present any information indicating otherwise rather then wishing death to policemen or crashes to 747s. Anyone who gains happiness from other`s death, or uses it to justify his/her own political convictions, is a sick person.

About 14 –15 years back, a police van carrying 7 policemen, was stoned by an angry mob in the small town of Chiniot, located on the banks of River Chenab along Sargodha-Faisalabad road. All seven died on the spot*.

I am ashamed to confess that my spontaneous reaction on reading that news story was, “Oh, great, finally, they got what they deserved -- seven swine less.” Disgustingly, I felt a sort of macabre satisfaction and a chilling pleasure. Perhaps, the scariest part of the episode is that I was NOT at all alone in feeling that way. Almost everyone, I heard talking about the occurrence, had more or less similar opinion.

Many years later, when I read about the Kohat incident, thankfully, I didn’t feel like that – exactly. Probably, because, I still have some respect for PAF. This time, my impulsive thoughts were,
Allah Mian Jee, you should have better done this to the aircraft carrying Musharraf and his henchmen.
Or why not the bloody federal cabinet, in particular turncoats and patriots, but excluding Jamali (I feel pity about this hapless guy).
Or why not filthy superior judiciary, along with that khabees-e-azam CEC ex-CJ Irshad and that ghastly Pirzada.
Aur koch nehin tau, a bunch of maulvis, especially, fitna-e-azam Tariq Azam, Maulana Diesel and Maulvi Sandwich.
Or some mardood secretaries = senior bureaucrats.
And if not even that, a collection of callous doctors fleecing patients.

Ref: Romair. Please, enough of this emotional blackmailing.
Have you ever heard/read a SINGLE defaming word for battlefield martyrs from ANY Pakistani? Our opposition, condemnations, dislike and hatred is for armchair “ghazis”.
What you tend to forget is the tragic fact that those who lay down their lives on the borders are not who get awards and plots. In some cases we don’t even accept their dead bodies (remember NLI and Kargil). Many true Shaheeds normally don’t even get proper burial.
As someone wrote on South Asia Tribune, begum of a general with aching back has higher property at a CMH than that of a hawaldar from the LOC with Indian bullet in his chest.
See, that hawaldar will be put in a stinking jawans’ ward, while civilian drunk teenager son of a general will get the best possible treatment in VIP awards. Can you deny?
We will talk more about these things, some other time, on some other occasion.
Take care.

*The police party was in the area from Faisalabad to nab someone. At the same time there was an armed robbery. On their refusal to tail dacoits on the plea that it was not their ‘thana’, people got infuriated and started pelting them with stones.

Urstruly at # 39:

It pays to listen to the elders of the family, especially in a tribal set-up ha ha ha ;)

But don`t worry, I will be around. Just needed time to travel back in the remotest of corner of Pakistan to meet my tribal folks and that takes some planning, especially if the life partner does not quite agree ;).

Take care of yourself.

Since August 14, 1947, the day Pakistan came into being, more than 200000 Americans military personnel have embraced ‘martyrdom’ in the line of duty.
Compared to Pakistan the US has lost many times more of her sons in war, in proportion to the population.
Have that sacrifices translated into blanket “kabza” of the khakis in the US?? No. Absolutely not. Despite all that, defence secretary can sack the army chief on standing feet?
One more tragic fact. For last 15 years at least 5 times more Pakistani civilians have laid down their lives fighting real/perceived enemy than that of regular forces of Pakistan. Lead: Kashmir and Afghanistan.

By the way, what does a soldier get paid/recruited for? To knit sweaters? Yeah, to fight, when and if the time comes. And ALL armed forces of the world do it, often valiantly. Without raping their own respective countries?
What the hell or special armed forces do in Pakistan? If I may ask?

This piece is a lovely note, beautifully written by a wife in-deep love with her deceased husband, who happened to be an extraordinary officer. My best wishes for both, my sincere prayers for the family. It is a huge loss for Samina, her children, Imran and all of his family. Yes.

But at the same time, it is an undeniable fact that the military in general and army in particular has eaten up the very roots of this poor nation.
Dear Romair, there are some good exceptions. I agree. In PAF more, much more than army. But almost entire (over 90%) high command of the army, and 70 – 80% of the air force and navy are modern day looters in ceremonial dresses – squarely responsible for the destruction of the institutions.

All of them, together, have converted Pakistan into a giant brothel, where army pimps runs the show. Was it not here on chowk, a lady Nighat Yasmeen raised some very serious questions about the sordid state of affairs. And none could refute her assertions.

---------------------------------
405,399 Americans that lost their lives during World War II. 78,976 of them are Missing in Action.
The Department of Defense reports that 54,246 Americans service men and women lost their lives during the Korean War. This includes all losses world wide.
In Vietnam War, American casualties were: 109000. Out of which Battle deaths were 47410.

Sources:
Directorate For Information Operations and Reports
Department of Defence
http://www.dior.whs.mil/mmid/casualty/castop.htm
American Battle Monuments Commission
http://www.usabmc.com

I have been reading with some interest the comments from Rumair (#42) and Sac (#43). They are both right in their own way. Would you guys like to have a separate article sent to Chowk than to interact under the title, “My Beautiful Rizwan”.
By the way, I like the way Sac puts in his words for the generals as an institution. I would like Rumair to visit Bangladesh if he hasn’t had time to go through report of HRC (Hamudur Rehman Commission Report). As Faiz put it:
Kab nazar mein aai gee be dagh sabze ki bahar
Khoon ke dhabbe dhulein ge kitnee barsaton ke baad.
Also please find out what has been the sources of income of Humayyun Akhtar, Zia’s sons, and Anwar Shamim Khan’s son to name a few.
Hope to see you write a separate article on the Role of Army in BUILDING Pakistan.

With due apologies to Mrs. Rizwan and other readers.

The response of some of the interactors on this board leaves me a little disappointed. We all know the army is nobody`s sweetheart and that there are many who have come to grief since it came to power. That`s no secret. But is the army the only one responsible for the state we`re in. This country has a history of fostering marauders, a tradition of harboring malignancies, and successive waves of despots have in their turn been responsible for looting the nation. And I find I can`t even blame them any more; wo apni khaslat se majboor hain. What I find intolerable is the death-defying stupidity of the Pakistani people, who with equal mixtures of self-contempt, ignorance and faithlessness allow such a state of affairs to persist. And we can analyse the reasons for this apathy until we go blue in the face (drawing room prophets, our regional experts on everything from the bottles of alcohol consumed during an average bridge game in Rawalpindi to the coming of the Apocalypse, have it down to an art) but nothing will ever change. Until we learn to respect ourselves and see promise in the lives we lead. Do we really believe in Pakistan? Ask yourself that.
(Let me now sit back and watch the wind scatter my words.)

Samina,
Assalam o alaikum

May Allah enhance your recompense, forgive the deceased and induce you with patience; and multiply for us and for you recompense through patience and tolerance.

“Our souls, wealth and families are wonderful gifts from Allah, which He has loaned to us so that we may take benefit from them for a set period; and he takes them away after the termination of that period. Thus, gratitude becomes binding on us when He gives and patience becomes obligatory when He takes away” – Prophet (PBUH).

May Allah’s peace be upon you and your family; and His mercy and blessings. Amen.


Regards,
Saba

Samina:
That was a beautiful tribute. Your love for your late husband and his for you oozed through each sentence of yours.
May God give you the strength to bear this loss.

imran #41 My condolences to you as well on your loss of a dear brother. You mention an education trust being started in your late brother`s name by Mrs. Rizwan. I think this is a very good step, and the lives of young people would thus be made in the name of your brother. Would either of you care to describe this further?

re ROmair #42:

Field Marshal sahib bahadur:

My post was not directed at individuals but at the institution. I have the utmost respect for the men who serve our nation`s armed forces. Since you seem to always look for personal qualifications no matter what the issue(which I believe is completely irrelevant), I`ll supply you some to make you happy.
Without going into too many specifics, both my father and father-in-law are former military officers. My best buddy`s father was one of the first PAF pilots to embrace `shahadat` in the 71 war. His coffin draped in the green and white Pakistani flag is one of the most enduring memories of my childhood. I`ve spent my entire childhood and teenage years in army contonments. One of my uncles was a POW in East Pakistan. He came back a raging maniac. His entire family is still recovering from the trauma. Nearly a quarter of my classmates are now either in the Army or Airforce. Before you go off riding on your mighty horse proclaiming my insensitivity to the plight of the brave men manning our borders, look at damage the INSTITUTION has brought to OUR country.

The PAF is as much a corrupt organisation as the army. Since you`ll be looking for written affadavits to prove it, I am afraid I have none. You proclaim Mushaf Mir to be a brave and honest officer. Was there any rebuttal of the allegations against him in satribune.com? Does having a `shaheed` in your family entitle you to treat the country`s treasury as your personal kitty? I guess we`ll have to pay the debts of Zia and Akhtar Abdul Rehman to their progency sitting in the assemblies.

The `ordinary` men of the armed forces are not `ordinary` anymore. They are complicit in the rape of the country that it has endured since its inception. We have to pay our respects to the dead. At the same time we should care about the living.

I don`t expect you change your tune one bit because you have gone too far on the dark side. Just wanted to keep the record clear.

later
-sac

sac #40: I have tried unfortunately with little success, to explain to various people on Chowk the inconsistencies of their views about the military. Apparently, this article has shown people a different side of the military and may have succceeded where I failed. You seem to be the only one left who still sticks to his generalizational (no pun intended) biases.

I did not know AC Rizwan, but he is the brother in law of a close friend. I have met so many people like him while I was in the military. And so many unlike him also. More importantly I have met so many wives of shaheeds everyone of whom was like him. There is a lot more to the military than just Gen. Zia and Martial Law. Unfortunately some people are unwilling to accept that. There can be no excuses for many of the things done in Martial Laws, but your comments are equivalent of wishing all Punjabis a death in a 747 due to what Nawaz Sharif has done.

Let me explain to you the biases in your arguments:

1. While Generals have run our land Air Marshalls have not. The PAF never participates in a Martial Law even though it gets invited into every single one. As a tradition it never sends its officers in Martial Law positions. Can you name a single Martial Law appt. currently, from the PAF?

2. Most of the officers you will meet in the PAF (and Army and Navy) have far more in common with the common Pakistani man than the expatriates and the people one runs into on Chowk. General ranks constitute less than 0.1% of any military. The well-off Pakistanis rarely join the military.

3. Many of the individuals who died in this crash were not even officers. They were airmen (jawans, as they are known in the Army). They have less material assets than the common man you seem concered about.

Let me tell you about someone I did know a little, AVM Razzaq. He was from a village in Mianwali. Completely from a villager/very small town family when he joined the PAF. His father was a schoolmaster in the Mianwali area throughout his career. He was the one person in his family who made it and became a cadet with absolutely no connections. People from such ordinary backgrounds would not even be allowed into Defence and Cliftons of Pakistan. He then set a record for F.Sc marks in pre-engineering in all of Pakistan which stood for a long time and may still be standing. He was such an exceptional pilot that he commanded F-16 squadron and become the top instructor on this aircraft. His command was during the Afghan war,when I got to know him in Sargodha where I was a freshly recruited aeronautical engineer. By that time he was quite well-groomed but I imagine NazarHayatKhan`s description fits him quite well as a young boy out of Mianwali. I don`t know whether he could even afford a car at that time though he was commanding 14 F-16s. He flew many missions himself against the Soviet aircraft as they invaded into Pakistan on a daily basis. His hard work led him to become a Major General (AVM).

When he died his coffin was taken back to his family areas in Mianwali where I imagine the rest of his family still lives much like they lived before. I think they must have been in awe of the local boy who had made it so big and must have been shattered at his death.

Under what kind of reasoning should people like him crash in your imaginary 747.

ACM Mushaf is someone I don`t know either. Whatever my colleagues have told me indicates he was a good man, also. His brother became a Shaheed as a young Army officer (Lieutenant/Captain) in 65 war. In that war his sister lost her husband (then of Captain rank in the PAF), who is now a legendary PAF shaheed (Flt. Lt. Yonis).

A family that has lost three of its sons with thier boots on for their country is rare to find anywhere in the world. They deserve a little more respect than you are willing to give them. Not that they need your respect in any manner.

Before one criticizes someone one must look at whom one is criticizing, the facts available and one`s own stature in terms of dedication to the common man. Many if not most of the people who died in this crash were from far more common backgrounds than most of us here on this site. One should not throw the baby out with the bathwater.

There are individuals who have done a lot of wrongs in the military (primarily the Army). After all they are Pakistanis also like the rest of us corrupt Pakistanis. Why should they be different? But if you have any specific information on these individuals who died in the crash related to anything they did wrong kindly present it. Otherwise, what do you gain by trying to portray yourself as a rebel at the expense of people who have passed away and are not here to defend themselves?

My earliest childhood memory of my elder brother, and only brother, is of 1961 or perhaps 1962 in Mardan. I was sitting in a square shaped cane basket attached to the bicycle handle being given a ride by one of our very senior cousins or maybe it was Kaleem mamu, and my elder brother shouting for his turn. My last memory of him is sitting in a cane chair on 18th Jan 2003 with a cigar shaped bottle of perfume in his mouth (which he thought was a cigar!) that I teasingly gave him to “smoke when you become an Air Marshal”. A few hours later we shook hands and parted for ever. We would hardly ever embrace. He called me on the 19th from Lahore that there was a delay in returning to Rawalpindi and if I could stay another day as a 2 day visit from USA is too short, but I had some useless work in London and then another one of those meetings in Arlington, VA. I told him that when you come over in Apr/May to pay homage to “Aqa Bush” and the Pentagon with the Air Chief then we will meet and talk as this trip was just out of the blue. That was the last time we talked. How I wish I had stayed another day.
Our father died in July 1987 when my ship was crossing Bay of Biscay, bound for Iran. It took me almost 6 weeks before I could make it to my mother in Jhelum. I still remember that I cried only twice, once when I met my mother and second time when I met my brother. He told me “don’t worry, I am still here”. Now I am all alone wanting someone to say that to me. He was not much older than me, only 19 months and one class ahead. I left my mother after 8 days as I was already late for my class in England, only because my elder brother was there to look after our mother and sister. Due to this small age difference, we had our differences, some lasting longer than they should have, and he was always the one who would make up. The last time was in Jan 2003. Perhaps I was always taking advantage of him. All his E-Mails would end by “with love” but mine never ended like that. Last one was on 13th Feb wishing us a happy Eid and all I wrote back was a curt “Thanks, same to you” because I was busy, doing what I can’t even remember. Till he went to Cadet College Hasanabdal in 1970 and I followed him in 1971, I used to be far better in studies. Once in Jesus & Mary Convent, Sialkot, he managed 8th position when the class strength was only 9! I seriously asked him who is this person who could not even beat you. His reply was that you will see one of these days I will score more than you and take this arrogance out of you. That he did and by a long way. Who would ever imagine him to be in the CCH college band, to escape all the physical activities! He might not have been the brightest but he was the hardest working amongst all of us. If anyone needs an example of transformation from an average person to a high achiever, look at my brother. For some reason I was abu jan’s favorite and ami jan of course liked him more than me till his last day. I don’t fault her. I was never there to look after her. Even till last year I complained to my mother that she likes him more because of his achievements.
I am one of the very few people in our family who would always call him by his proper name because I always hated when people called me by my pet name. I remember when we were children, our parents tried for a while that I should call him bhaijan and I balked at the idea. At that time I thought a bhaijan should be someone who is much older than me and better than me! Now I can not even make Haider call his elder brother Asad, bhaijan, and they are six years apart.
My wife always said that the two of you meet for a few days in a year and still there is not much talk. You ask him a silly question and get a short reply then he asks you one and you say either “yes” or “no”. He asks you where you went this time and you rattle off the names of some countries as if going from Rawalpindi to Lahore and stopping in Dina and Lala Musa! It does not look like two brothers meeting after a year or so. This was not our fault. This was in our family. We never learnt to show visible love. Our father never did, but all of us knew that he loved us deeply. Perhaps our parents are to be blamed. They wanted the best of education that an honest army officer could afford for his children. All three of us went to the best affordable boarding schools, only to meet for a few days every year, even less after I joined the Merchant Marine. The two brothers would take full advantage of ami jan’s excellent cooking while our sister would not eat anything and remain thin as a stick. Over the years the fondness for the food went away as did many other emotions. Perhaps this is the price we had to pay to be successful and try to achieve what our parents wanted. I was never jealous of his achievements, envious yes, proud yes, never jealous. He told me once that in a military society like ours these things are more visible, what you do is not in front of others.
I always wanted a photograph of the two of us with our father, in our own uniforms. Sadly abu jan left us 16 years ago and my brother on 20th of Feb 2003.
Surprisingly I knew only 3 or 4 of his course mates but he had met almost all of my spoiled sailor friends. What a better tribute than what one of them once said in 1991, “When he becomes the air chief, we will also proudly say that he is our elder brother”. Not a friend’s elder brother but a brother. I have never seen some of those cold hearted sailors cry before as they did now.
When our youngest son, Asim, was about to be born, I was pretty nervous at becoming a father again at 42. He sent me an E-Mail that ‘Bhuraphae ki aulad ka maza hi kutch aur hae, you will really enjoy the youngest one’. Brother you were right. The little redneck Texan gives these old bones a run around but I really enjoy it. Why couldn’t he wait to enjoy Bilal more?
I never knew the others in that Fokker F-27. What I have heard about them makes me realize that our nation has lost some of the best. I only wish my brother was down with flue or whatever to have missed the trip. Perhaps he should have left the air force in 1981 but then he would have been just any other unknown person like me. Some years back after a rather dreadful dream, I asked him to stop flying because of the inherent dangers and that if Allah wanted humans to fly, he would have given them wings. He said that what you do is more dangerous and Allah did not give you fins or gulls!
I am sure had he lived and become what everyone wanted him to be, he would have made a difference. Not all generals and admirals are corrupt.

Bhaijan Rizwan, forgive all my transgressions. Especially after I got annoyed in 1987 when you did not tell me abu jan’s true health condition just before he died.

Other than being brothers, our youngest sons share the same birthday as I do with Seemi.

Seemi, we are all with you in keeping his name alive through the education trust you are starting. We have always been proud of Rizwan.

Imran

ahmadzai

it seems to me that you are leaving chowk for some reason. Not a good idea, we`ll miss ya.

I am sure AC Rizwanullah Khan was every bit as wonderful a person he has been described in this article. The author is probably the only one that can really understand the pain and anguish she suffers from.

Yet look upon the incident from a different angle. Don`t we need a 747 to go down with all of the generals, Admirals and Air Marshals presently(and not too distant past) ruining our land? Lest I be accused of being heartless and off my rocker, pause and think for a minute about the sufferings of the common Pakistani at the hands of these `mard-i-momins` and `shaheens`? While we wax eloquent about the `shahadat` of so many of our best and brightest, the common Pakistani continues to slip lower and lower depths of poverty. It would be far too easy to separate the individual from the institution. Linking the two to grant the individual an exalted status just doesn`t cut it.

later
-sac

P.S: admadzai: Can it. You don`t have the qualifications to pronounce judgement on anyone`s sense of patriotism.

dear samina
your article helped me share this great loss of our officer`s
i am an Air Force brat ,too, my father a retired Air Cdre , currently my older brother an aeronautical engineer ,a Wing Cdre .
i cried alone in saudia ( my surgeon husband , a civilian, for whom all were strangers)
all i could remember was the vacation spent in Kalabagh in late 70`s with Saleem bhai , Ruby baji & their daughters
I am youngest in my family but still remember , our family having known both salemm bhai & ruby baji`s families .
& yes we all said too that oneday he will be Chief of Air Staff, alas`` nazar hi lag gayi``
i don`t how people expect u will get over this loss.
i think in time just the pain will lessen whenever u will think of your husband
i just pray u might be able to start living again for your children
i pray your grief becomes your strength
& remember your husband is always with u , whereever u r , looking out for u.
my fondest regards for a very brave Air Force Widow.

thank you.

This article has brought into open so many Pakistani patriots, who remain in `hiding` as the Indians (and some Indians posing as Pakistanis)thrash Pakistan, its leadership, and keep us on the defensive regarding our principled stance on Kashmir by quoting Kargil everywhere.

Would you guys please come out in the open and contribute with some reasoned posts so that the Indians friends are better able to understand Pakistan`s viewpoint on Kashmir. In any case, following in the footsteps of our beautiful Shaheed, you should be projecting your country in the best of ways.

If you would kindly do that, I, ``only a fringe Pakistani`` would like to take off.

May God enable us to follow in the footsteps of His chosen ones like Mr. Rizwan.

Bye bye. I wish you all the very best of life.

One of the most moving and beautiful articles ever to be posted on Chowk. Period.

Sincerly and with deep respect,

Feroz R. Khan

I am moved by the mutual love, affection and respect of a couple for each other. This lovely narration of a great soldier proves, once again, that STILL there is a hope for Pakistan. I am sure, most of the readers would share my pride and comfort that just a short while ago one of our Shaheens defending our airspace was Rizwan. Not many of us were aware of the fact that the defence of our skies were in so competent hands.

I respectfully agree with the gentleman who wrote, ”Though if it`s anything, he must have been a truly extraordinary man to have his companion celebrate his memory rather than mourn it.” Likewise, I refuse to use this opportunity for merely conveying condolences. No, this would be unfair to Mr Rizwan. Something more substantial must come out of this occasion.

Moreover, thanks to the Internet and forums like Chowk and South Asian Tribune that we ordinary mortals can now register our displeasure as well as convey the message. I want to avail this possibility. Therefore, I take up where hamzan left.

Samina Sahiba, as you know, in most of the cases, the moral decay among officers of the armed forces accelerates after acquiring star(s) on their limos. Examples like (respectable) ACM Jamal are extremely scarce in Pakistan.

It is almost impossible to keep your ‘damen’ clean for very long while working in the cesspool – the top layer of the military command in Pakistan. Not only that, it doesn’t take a lot before you cease to notice right or wrong, before the distinction between halal and haram disappears, before ethics, morality and legalities are no more serious concerns. Second, as a colleague, as a member of privileged family, as a ‘peti parra’, as a friend, these fine lines become increasingly blurred. You either become part of the ‘game’, or at best a passive spectator. And the predators wont let you work if you try to rub the status quo.

Very possible, Allah Almighty took Rizwan back because he was too good for all this.

See, there are many who consider Musharraf as a dead honest person. This man squandered at least 3.5 billion PRs of taxpayers’ money (according to the Chief Election Commission) only on his personal canvassing campaign during that infamous, illegal, unlawful referendum, to which no one gives a damn.
What is a difference between him and Asif Zardari?

Being a country manager of Oracle, you might be paying more tax every month than the salary of an Air Commodore. Remember, at the end, the assets accumulated by ACM Khattak, Admiral Mansoor ulHaq, General Akther Rehman (to name only as a specimen) primarily due to the military service (we are not talking about their ‘khandani jageer’ over here, if they ever had any) exceeds by horse lengths in DOLLARS the assets of the country manager Oracle, Switzerland.

ACM Mushaf is highly admired for his command style during the recent standoff with India. Please, observe, he didn’t hesitate to use PAF’s aircraft for the funeral of his mother-in-law, as PAF is his dad’s jageer. The planned wedding of his son at Faisal is now a well-known story. In America, a four-star general was recently reprimanded for deputing a soldier as a bodyguard to his wife for one day on the complaint of a junior officer. In Pakistan, we have battries of guards/servants even for VIP toddlers.

Observe, Musharraf and Mushaf, known as relatively ‘honest’ generals are good for at least 4.2 million USD – ONLY due to the military service. Referendums, nepotism, ‘bandar-bant’ to cronies and family members are in addition to it.

As it wouldn’t be very appropriate to submit a longer reply this one, I have strictly confined myself to only a couple of examples and that’s too regarding financial aspects.

samina, your article was very beautiful and very sad as well; I hope you and your children will be okay..my prayers are with you. I guess this article goes to show that when you write from the heart, you don`t even need to go into the technicalities of grammar and sentence construction etc..words just flow straight from the heart...

wow.. your writing made me feel like I actually knew your husband! a sad loss for our country indeed.

but I will second Hamzan in his comments about our military staff being spoilt.. for too long have I seen abuses of power, even from the lower ranks..

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A very moving piece of writing indeed!

it `s very brave of you to recall good and pleasent memories in this time of grief.he is nomore,he would not come back but pleasent moments is your treasure.god bless you.

Dear Samina:
Your husband`s devotion to his job and your devotion to him makes me feel proud of the Air force. Shaheeds never die, so I will not condole you. I think I speak on behalf of all Pakistanis: we pray that you and your kids live the dignified example set by Air Commodore Rizwanullah Khan.

“It won’t happen. My Pakistan will prosper someday, you will see”
The dream will become true as long as there are still more RIZWANS left in pakistan. Inshallah.

Samina,

This is quite moving. Your husband sounds like he was a wonderful person. And, my condolences and prayers are with you and your khandan.

Samina, I can feel your grief from the article. All I can say is that you can always be proud of your husband and cherish the fond memories and the love that you shared. Now the responsibility is on you to bring up your children to be good human beings so they can match the high standards set by their father. I am sure that they will grow up and be honourable persons like their father and will uphold all that he stood for.

JudaeeyoN ke zakhm, dard-e-zindagi ne bhar diye
tujhe bhi neend aa gayee mujhe bhi sabr aa gaya

pukarti haiN fursateN kahaN gayeeN voh sohbateN
zameeN nigal gayee unheN ke aasmaan kha gaya

ye kiss khushi ki rait per ghamoN ko neeNd aa gayee
voh lehr kiss taraf gayee ye maiN kahaN sama gaya

(Nasir Kazmi)

Samina, I received the draft concept paper as well as your article “My Beautiful Rizwan” simultaneously. I guess I should have gone through the concept paper first and then anything else. However, I have been following my heart ever since I knew how to follow. It is beautifully written. There appears no vetting of the article. It is flowing: flowing directly from the heart. There are not very many people living on the globe who could have that kind of fluent expression of emotions at hand. That is not the only impressive thing in your writing.
This is a difficult situation. Your article starts when he was 23. My detail of experience with him ends when he was in his 22nd year (he graduated from Risalpur in his 22nd). We were together in PAF College Sargodha from 1973 to 1977 and then until 1978 at Risalpur when he graduated from there. He joined us at Sargodha from Cadet College, Hasan Abdal. I hope there is one of his contemporary at Hasan Abdal out there from who responds to this.
We were in the same house at Sargodha. When he joined us after his matric from Cadet College, Hasan Abdal, we were in dire need of strength in our house. Mine was a cursed entry then. In 1971, three East Pakistanis left us. In September 1973, 11 more of my entry left us for not succeeding in ISSB or CMB (Combine Military Board). We were just 3 left out of 17. We, three were waiting for someone to strengthen us. He came on time.
When he joined Alauddin House in 1973, its position was 6th amongst 6 houses. When he left the college as Under Officer Alauddin House, it was on top. He had the charisma of leadership even when he was a boy.
He was the most hardworking boy of the college. Nobody had ever seen him missing an activity. He was organized to the bone. He was never sick. The only thing he would do away from the college routine was write long letters to his father, who was a POW in India. I remember when his father was to return from India and he was proceeding on leave, he had almost same somber face that he always had.
I had already spent 3 years in the college when he joined. There is some difficulty for the fresh entrant in a public school system. I found him adjusted to the environment almost immediately. We were in different sections at the academic block. I did not have a lot to share as far as studies are concerned. I know he was amongst the brightest of his section. In a public school system, studies constitute a small segment of daily activities. The major grooming occurs in the house, at the sports ground, at the movies and at the co-curricular activities. We shared a lot of time there. However, one thing that he did not share with us was going to the city on French leave. I was the one who broke bounds whenever, possible. He was the one who achieved goals while staying within the bounds. The difference in means never came in the way of friendship. While proceeding on vacation, I would always route my way to Pakpattan through Lahore when his late father was posted there after his return in 1974. During long vacation, we would share a number of letters. I don’t remember what all we would write to each other.
Those were the days of innocence for us. His days of innocence stretched to 20th February 2003.
I had hopes in him. I knew he would make the CAS one day. I knew the PAF would have a turn around when he makes it to that rank. It made me angry when I heard of the crash. I can make out now (when it has been more than a month) that it was not pain that caused the anger, it was helplessness.
Humans follow mainly three cultural value systems. These cultural value systems depend on (1) what is the attitude toward the innate character of human nature? (2) What is the proper relation of human beings to nature? (3) What is their sense of time (4) what is their attitude toward activity? And (5) what is their attitude toward social relationships? Mine and Rizwan’s cultural value systems matched except when we came to the 2nd question. He believed in submission to nature and thus the belief that life is determined by Fate. On the contrary, I believed (and still do) that we must try and master over nature and try control & challenge nature. It is our own follies that make us fail. It was this belief of mine that made me angry over the incident. I won’t go over the details on what has been going on between me and my course mates over this.
I am sorry to have no choice but to agree with hamzan who responded to Samina’s article almost instantly. Rizwan, Mushaf, Razzaq and Salim Nawaz had kindled hopes in my hearts that our geographical frontiers would be defended when time came. I did not believe in the indispensability of humans. After this crash, I do believe that PAF would not be what it could have been unless, of course, it learns a lesson and overhauls itself.
Samina, I, along with my course mates are with you in your mission to contribute to the welfare of Pakistan that Rizwan dreamed.

Samina......
thankyou for sharing this...it was ...true....and truth is beautiful....

i hope you and your family get through this time the way your husband would have wanted you to......

please do visit chowk often.....

Having lost two of our leading tribal members (brothers), the former Mujahid Commanders of the Jihad against former Soviet Union to cowardly acts in Afghanistan subsequent to 9/11, I will rise up and salute a Pakistani Shaheed anytime, anywhere.

I am witness to Pakistanis challenging the death itself in their courage and embracing the refugees in the true spirit of Ansaar-e-Medina in hospitality.

My daughter sings a Pakistani song quite often after watching it play on TV. I am sure she does not understand a bit of it, as do her parents, but it conveys the meaning:

Shaheed kee jo Mawt hay woh qaum ha sabaat hay

(meaning: death of a shaheed is continuity/steadfastness of a nation??)

Samina Saheba: Thank you very much for sharing this. May Allah (swt) guide us to the path of His chosen ones.

that was a powerful article..you made me cry lady!

Shaheed Rizwan lives forever. Mrs. Rizwan, parting is only temporary.

When in February, that plane was downed, a lot of people, with live conscience, pointed the finger at the usual suspect. Please keep in mind that Air Marshal Mir Mus`hif Ali Khan protested when Musharaf decided to handover air bases in Paksitan to US. He even resigned and did not go to his office for a month. He was one of the severest critic of Mushraf`s decision. Air Marshal Mr. Khan, AC Rizwan and several others died for us; they died for the sovereignity of Pakistan; they died because they refused the thousand prosterations (in Iqbal`s words). I as a Pakistani demand full investigation of this heineous crime and demand that the results of this investigation be made public. I demand the government to name the names of the killers.

my condolances on your loss.god may bless you and your kids,give you strength to face this world.both of you were kucky to have such a nice time to gather

Mrs. Rizwan, I`m not sure how anything I could say would do justice to your article. Though if it`s anything, he must have been a truly extraordinary man to have his companion celebrate his memory rather than mourn it. Fi aman Allah.

my condolences... I hope your husband didn`t become an unwitting victim of some anti-shia conspiracy brewing the ranks of a bitterly divided pak Army!

AC Rizwan’s sad and untimely demise is not only a great tragedy for his family but also a huge loss for PAF and Pakistan. AC Rizwan was no doubt one of the most competent officers PAF has ever produced. One of the very few fighter pilots of PAF with a degree in engineering as well.
It will take decades, if not centuries, for his institution and the country to fill the gap he left behind him. For his family, life will never be the same again.
May Allah Almighty rest his soul in peace (amen).
Samina, May Allah Almighty bless you and your children with the strength to cope up with this mighty dukh. I pray from the bottom of my heart for you.

Coincidently, I read this piece the moment it came up at the chowk. Since then I have been contemplating about a lot of things. And it was very difficult for me to decide that whether I should write what I am going to scribe underneath or not.

Finally, I came to a conclusion that not writing would be an offence to a great son of the soil who refused to emigrate by flatly saying “Ghar nahin chor saktay”.

Samina, ABSOLUTELY NOT to belittle your misfortune, but to pay my heartfelt homage for a person who knew many driver hotel wallas by name and was welcomed as a VIP at “Chakkiyan” whenever you visited there to sample Rizwan’s favourite daal roti, truck shairi was the highest form of ethnic art; I would like to add as follows for conveying to those it may concern:

As Rizwan would have agreed with me, free flowing booze, designer labels, in a poor country like ours, etc., in short, the life-style our star officers have adopted is “un-human like” what to talk about “un-Pakistani like”.

A country with a per-capita income of US$ 420 and going down, and the top echelon of the “defenders” of the nation leading a life many American generals must be envious of. The mindset of our top brass, totally devoid of morality is deplorable to say the least. Islam and religion, nothing more than tools of manipulation for them, aside, they don’t have respect for basic most human values either.

Samina, presumably, a lot of senior officers would visit chowk to read your tributes to Rizwan, I am using this forum on the behalf of at least 35 % Pakistanis living under the poverty line, to convey my utmost disgust for the higher ranks of the armed forces.

It should be clear to them that we poor Pakistanis really hate them, curse them and have lost the last traces of respect for them. We smell blood of innocent Pakistani children from the walls of their palatial houses.

As they have no, literally no knowledge of the hell most of their countrymen go through everyday, we too have no soft corner for them. It is only our powerlessness that we don’t burn their houses down. Neither respect not cowardice.

They are filthy parasites -- nothing more.

Samina Rizwan

Very touching and may God rest his soul in peace. I deeply feel. He was also lucky to have a wife like you.

I can closely relate to all the environt you have depicted. Razzaq, another officer who died there, was my student when he came to the Migs. He was so innocent, honest, boyish and a good pilot. I used to give him a lower assessment so that it does not go into his head like all pilots. But my low assessment did not prevent him from going places.

inna lillaha wa inna ilayhi raji`oon. Thank u for sharing this Samina...Allah has truly blessed u....not only did u get to share your life with such a wonderful man, you also have a lifetime of memories to keep you going....

take care...

your namesake,

Samina :)

This is a lovely piece. Thanks for sharing your deep emotions with us. Not everyone gets an oppurtunity to experience this unconditional love in their lifes, you are one lucky person who was given a chance by god to share some wonderful moments of your life with an equally beautiful person. Condolences to you and your family.
Sincerly
-Sarah

Inna lillah-e wa inna ilaih-e rajaoon

My condolences on your loss, and that tribute was very moving. Welcome to Chowk, I hope you and your family can weather this difficult time.

inna lillaha wa inna ilayhi raji`oon. I must confess that I skim-read your excellent article after the first third as I found it too powerful, and too emotional, too personal--I didn`t want to intrude.

But as others have said your former husband is a shaheed--the highest possible honour for a human-being (after nabi and siddiq), eternally alive, guaranteed jannat, enjoying a life we can not even imagine. It is something you should be proud of.
I salute him as I salute all the shuhada of Islam.

:-)

Inna lillah-e wa inna ilaih-e rajaoon. May his soul rest in peace. Amen.

The fact that you have written such a loving and beautiful tribute to your late husband demonstrates that he must have been quite a man. I almost cried (and I am a grown up man myself) when I read some parts of your article. You seem like a self-assured and competent person, and I hope that God gives you the strength to live the rest of your life the way I am sure your late husband would have wanted: in happiness and in contentment, living life to the fullest and always looking towards the future. May your children grow up to be fine adults, and may God bless every step that you and your children take.

PS: My wife studied at American University too, incidentally.