The Late Eid Present

...honesty may be the best policy, but it`s never easy, is it?...

T:

Just read ‘catcher in the rye’ for the first time. Idealism sparkles in days of innocence. Gradual loss of idealism is like a gradual death. It is a scary thing to stare at.

But of course, Sufi’s need not worry. :)

FarzanaVersey:

Chicken soup? You mean Duck Soup? Heck, either one will do. :)

Sobia:

Never liked super crisp chips. As for lunch money, please, in second grade I could only dream of having fifty rupees for lunch :) but if I did have it, I’d share it with you.

Nazarhayatkhan:

No comments.

Tahmed32:

I did have to run and return extra lunch coupons, but that experience was NO WHERE near as interesting as that of this little rozaiba- though it was just as rewarding :)

Sarah04:

glad you liked it :)

Ras:

It feels good to see one’s story put up on chowk. Feels even better when ‘hidden’ messages get across to the reader.
If you can, watch this Iranian movie (it’s available at Blockbusters in California- can’t remember the name, but there are usually only two or three Iranian movies there), where a little boy loses his younger sister’s shoes and how the two cope and how the boy joins this tournament so that he can win a new pair of shoes for his sister. Perhaps a similar ‘hidden’ message can be seen.

For Spring Break I stayed in my apartment on the deserted univ. campus. California ka phir kabhi chakar lagain gay.

Goonga:

Yes, both sound similar. And yes there is a difference. you were right on!

UmerMurtaza:

NanI jaans always encourage the positive. Honesty pays. But NanA Jaan will tell you, ‘if you’re dishonest, I’m gonna whop you so bad you won’t be able to sit on your butt for a week at least.’

Septran:

I second that. Too much war shoar.

Rozaiba: Enjoyed reading your article which was quite funny, and which I assume is a true story. I wish our generals, admirals, politicians had the same level of honesty as you demonstrated. These small things are ultimately what make the difference - not just for individual success but for the success of the nation as well. I wish they would stress such character building aspects more in our education system in Pakistan, not just learning to pass exams and get degrees.

(I remember once going back to pay in a department store after realizing that the cashier had somehow forgotten to include charges for the blazer I had bought along with other clothes. Makes me feel good about myself to this day, worth ten times the cost of the blazer).

rozy, pls share your lunch money with me...i used to get two rupees, finally progressed to ten rupees after Super Crisp chips became expensive...good story! :D

Bat, moulabux, studebaker, thanks for comments:

A friend in LA asked me to write a story that could be used in a book for kids in this muslim kids school in LA. Thus there was no emphasis on any one setting or anything. I guess I should have clarified, but what the lunch cost is so insignificant. Perhaps Rozaiba bought a pack of coupons that were supposed to last him and his brother for the entire week? Who cares? Fifty and One hundred are nice fat numbers more easily understood. If I were to get particular, when I was in second grade, what i got from home for lunch was a `chawanee` or `attainee` for a slice of naan with a spoonful of chanay in the middle. those don`t exist anymore. And why wait till tomorrow to return the money? If a kid can believes he can run and clear his ‘conscious’ today, why wait till tomorrow?

But it shows though that you read this closely :) I submitted this story to my short story writing class yesterday and got grilled on it :)

Ana: yes, my creative writing teacher joked that it would not be a kids story if rozaiba got eaten up by the dog or died or got no ‘reward’ for his efforts.

Scout: you were supposed to do a thorough analysis of this.

Ansari: aap ke duain hain. And since I am no more in the mood to continue the prank, I’ll let you know that I colluded with another prankster to spice up your life by letting you listen in to a make-believe lovers phone conversation (the one where the milkman came in the way :) ) . but technically I told the truth- ‘I’ didn’t make the call. But we could tell you were enjoying it. Haha.

I had always thought that Rozaiba was a 25-30 year old woman.

(meaning that the posts were mature and soft)

Rozaiba:
Simple and `pure`... somewhat Kahlil Gibranish, without the obvious philosophical overtones...or maybe a deeper Chicken Soup...heck, just very you perhaps!

Since when did eight year old`s start getting Rs.50 for lunch? Must be some burger lunch[pun intended]. And the bullies were a bunch of sour losers; how could they not notice the Rs.50 coupons in ragtag Rozy`s hand?

Atleast the story had a happy ending.

Cheers.

Rozaiba:

...nicely captured slice of idealism from the eight year old`s perspective...


...if adults retain a tenth of that idealism this world would be a much better place...

rgds,

t

after a long series of war.something nice .thanx rozaiba

Wondering if theres any difference between Mr. Hashmi and friend of Rozaiba, both sound similar... ‘Think of it as a late Eid present!’

Nice one!

`Acche baccho,` says nani jaan, while all the bean-pole kids gather around her. `The moral of the istory is:

`Honesty is the best policy because honesty pays...literally!`

Umer M

PS. Dishonesty is the best foreign policy because dishonesty pays also.

There appear to be a number of subtle messages within this story.

But the ``late Eid present`` dominates.

Good Job.

Ras

(Whats up with Spring Break? San Jose State this Saturday?)

Sweet.

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