The Recompense

The end has left me a bit staggered.

The whole feces eating thing is a bit overplayed...but this has potential.

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started out well, but ended abruptly...you lost me somewhere in the middle!

Zafar Anjum sb, I`ve read a couple of your stories at NDTV`s Writing Room...The Recompense too...I found it sickening then, as I do now. I restrained from commenting then but feel compelled to do so now. Don`t feel offended...nothing wrong with the writing style...but what a macabre thought...eating one`s own shit!
Come on, give us a break...you could have come up with anything else but this shit bit...its repulsive and yuck and it stinks...
Kindly restrain from letting your imagination go haywire...such things reflect negatively on us women, especially Indian Muslim women...we are capable of better things regardless of which strata of society we belong to...give us our due...we no longer live in the dark ages...where on earth did you get this filthy idea in the first place? Do you personally know of any such woman? I certainly don`t and I cannot even imagine one.
Sensationalize your stories if you must but certainly not at the cost of putting a question mark on your sensibilities. And do remember that if life imitates art, art imitates life too.
Before putting up your stories on sites like, Chowk, do remember that you put not only yours but also our reputation and integrity at stake too. Your imagination sends wrong and negative signals to the whole world out there. So tread cautiously, please.
PS: And never ever in my life have I heard about Shia-Sunni riots breaking out for such flimsy reasons...alteast no where in the India I know of...
Where exactly in India are you from, sir?
Rather, where exatly do you derive your fodder from?

`sht`. sounds like you couldn`t come up with anything else. could have been a far better story. keep writing.

#5
right on sista. The writer would have been more accurate and credible in having Samina eat dirt-which was/is common on the subcontinent among children who lacked iron....and how would that change the tone and direction of this text?

Mr.Anjum,
I don`t think you expected better feedback than what youve been getting with a plot that revolves around sh.t!
Nonetheless you amalgamate two extremes. The ``good`` worship of God, and the one utterly dirty, ``najis`` thing ie sh.t
The concept of placating, if you will, of God through an abominable thing like sh.t which is as unpure as God is pure is incredulous, yet novel. We shudder at the thought of eating sh.t and perhaps that was your purpose..to make us shudder :) but to eat sh.t in return for a blessing - thats strange!

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Gripping beginning and development but in the end, a tale without any head or tale!

I can excuse some of this by saying that there is all sorts of weird notions among people in rural areas. But the implication here seems to be that eating dried bread by a shia mosque is like eating Scheiß to a sunni! Wow!
I find the story weak. The ending is artificial and the language is wanting. Too many cliched sentences for my taste. This actually reads like a bad translation from another language.

As others have said, the story had potential but the introduction of $hit and somewhat unbelievable ending left the potential unfulfilled. You might want to work at another version of it.

So thoroughly disgusting.

I am overwhelmed by the replies. Thank you. As somebody said, I should not have expected any better feedback.

First things first, this story is based on a true incident, though the ending is my own imagination. It seems the ending has not worked; however, my idea behind it was to state that riots are often triggered by some filmsy, ridiculous events.

I wrote this story in response to what I heard. I myself found the story so disgusting that I thought I better pen it down.

I am glad that your response is what it should be--human.

i started reading with excitmentafter so long war articles but shit spoil every thing.

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