Who Says You Cant Buy Love?

Hi Farzana . . . I want to see the replies you get to this one!!! Is Debonair still aroud, btw?

aawww..Debonair...I remember we used to get it in our hostel club room and it is has the highest viewership:-) amongst all the magazines there. Some more enthusiatic viewers would rip out the pages and take with them to the their rooms to post above their reading tables...some said it actually helps them concentrate on studies and solve Thermodynics numericals faster....but then again thermodynmics did not mean what it means.

Good thing about this article is that at least Farzana is taking time off her usual topics. This might relieve some pressures off her.:-)

Nice article.

In spite of so many changes, women are still not treated as equals but more as a commodity. I wonder when will things change. Not anytime soon.

Good luck to Hugh on Roaz-e-Hushur.

``I am curious, though, as to why only women are called porn stars when many men are performing in blue films as well. Isn’t it a job for both of them? ``


Hmm, it`s been a while since I ever heard some refer to a porno movie as a ``blue film``!! Guess that`s Indian English slang. Waisey, there are plenty of male porn stars. The most well known was ofcourse John Holmes AKA Long Dong Silver. Then there`s the Italian stud, Rocco Sifredi. And who can forget the fat and hairy Ron Jeremy.

Debonair does bring back some memories. Most popular Indian magazine in our hostel.

the ancient greeks had a myth about a two headed, 8-limbed creature that was split in two by some god. and ever after that the two pieces go running around trying to rejoin. one piece is called man, the other is called woman.
gotta give it to that god for having a sense of humor. since nothing is funnier (when you think about it) than mating rituals...except for the mating act itself.

I am waiting for the day when a woman decides to emulate Hugh Heffner. Imagine an 80-year old sugar mama deciding that she wants to breath her last in bed with 6 hunks with chiseled bodies and raw libido!

Despite his flaws, I give credit to Hugh for one thing. He broke the racial barrier in soft porn by including women of all colors, facial features and cultures in his ``circle of beauty`` :))

Hi Farzana. Know of any takers?

Stuka, leave it to you to bring in Ron Jermey into otherwise such a beautiful mahaul...even thinking about Debonair and my hostel makes me feel I am 20 again. but you ruined it man.

re: Sex and religion
Finally, Farzana babe has come out of the closet. I always thought this woman was sexually frustrated. Now, i know it to be true.
Babe, you want sex. Ask for it. Don`t write a lengthy post!
Pun aside, i have no problems with the character (Rolf Eden) who is discovering sexual pleasures at the age of 70 and revelling in it. I, not long ago, listened to the story of a woman who suddenly (at age of 60 or so) started dating a lot of young men because she ``felt like it``.
US is a new nation with little baggage. It treats sex as a necessity but i believe things are going overboard. Teenagers indulging in sex, loss of values all seem OK in a prosperous society but when beyond control, it leads to decline of the moral fibre of the society and ultimately, to its downfall. Roman Civilisation did not die in one day. When it reached its nadir, ordinary citizens were known to indulge in free orgies. I read somewhere that similar fate befell the great civilisation of Atlantis. So, all is not well with US, at least in the social sphere. Will moral decay ultimately be the undoing of this superpower. Some people at least seem to think so:
Url: http://www.chartist.org.uk/articles/intpol/jan02_lee.html
Excerpts:
``According to Berman this can be ascribed to the century long assault on what Freud called the ‘super-ego.’ Civilisation is not possible without behavioural constraints. The super-ego consisted of moral imperatives and taboos inculcated in childhood and youth (socialization). Its function was to contain the anarchic impulses of the ‘Id’ and in so doing make society possible. The weakening of this social control mechanism has opened up a Pandora’s Box of nihilistic propensities which are making civilised society increasingly untenable.``

So, the mantra is: everything in moderation. Life is like a pendulum. You swing it hard to one side, it swings hard to the other extreme. That is why, you feel good if you drink a lot in a party but have hangover the next day. Like Buddha said: follow the middle path.
Christians have been labelling sex as a sin. So, we have all these clergies taking an oath of celebacy before being inducted into service. What is the result? Roman Catholic Church is plagues by scandals of homosexulity. It reached ridiculous extent when one clergy was shown on TV claiming that only sex with the opposite sex is a sin and homosexuality is OK.
What does Hindu scripture say about all this?
We are told there is no sin. The concept of Sin is alien to a hindu. You go to Khajraho and you see erotic sculptures of gods and goddesses and you wonder what were those guys (the sculptors i mean) upto. Hindus have accepted this as a part of ordinary life. There is a caveat though. You incur karma for your action. So, in essence, it is not sinful to overindulge in sex but the karma that you incur is because of your own deed. This makes you take responsibilty for your action. Ultimately, life itself is an experience. Those who are plagued by sexual fantasies need to get intimate with sex, embrace it and ultimately find release from it. Per Hindu scriptures, both saint and the sinner are 2 sides of the same coin. Saint is a sinner who never gave up (his spiritual quest).
So much for the religious interpretation of what is essentially a part of life. God intended sex for procreation. Man has been using it for recreation. Result: the latest scourge called AIDS. As i said, man has to take responsibility for his action.
When, Rolf Eden, during one of his sexual acts, drops dead, he would have (per Hindu scriptures) fulfilled his karma. Then, we can ask the important question: what did he gain? Was it all worth it? He certainly will not be around to answer those questions!
Sridhar

good article.you write different this time.sex is ajoyful experience god has given to both the sexes.but not the way it lead to Aids.

Dullabhatti . . . to feel 20 again and ``in hostel`` you need to really take efforts to meet up with batchmates atleast twice a year . . . just a dozen together in some semi-seedy joint will do . . . to add to the fun everybody gets to leave their cars at home and you hire a mini-bus to drop everybody one by one.

Works.

On Farzana`s article, I do think days in India are changing. There are not a few elderly/past middle aged ladies I know who maintain or attract their fair share of ``toy-boys``. Flout them, too. No big deal. Go for it!!

#8 by rsridhar on May 15, 2003 3:48pm PT
``re: Sex and religion
Finally, Farzana babe has come out of the closet. I always thought this woman was sexually frustrated. Now, i know it to be true.
Babe, you want sex. Ask for it. Don`t write a lengthy post!``

rsridhar..While rest of your post #8 was informative, esp the karma theory I myself believe in...``humko apne karam khud bhugatney partey hain``...
BUT...the above part was not desirable..

Farzana wrote an article..she felt like it...so we can`t interpret she wants this or that. In fact, she has highlighted the lecherous nature of men. She also believes in eqality of sexes so why can`t women feel what men do...

Veeresh I totally agree. fortunately and amazingly I have more 1 dozen batchmates/1 yr senior/1 yr juniors within 10 mile radius from my home. The feel 20 mahaul is created about once a month at least. In fact two of them almost punched each other few days ago and we had to distract them by ordering an extra pitcher of beer at round table pizza...of course 15 minutes later everyone forgot what was the argument.

By and large, life has shown me that:-

a) (Most) men talk about ``doing it`` with women when they haven`t been able to get anywhere with them.

b) (Most) men talk about women being ``sexually frustrated`` when the blisters on their own hands get painful.

c) (Most) men with an attitude towards ``other`` women are upset that their own female relatives enjoy sex.

Way to go Farzana, platonic sex or zipless jiggy, live your truth lady!

Paul Mc Cartney was quite right in claiming that, “…money can’t buy me love.” Yet, experience and observation shows that money may not be able to buy love, but it sure as hell can rent lots and lots of it.

Though we are impelled by civilization and culture to transcend our nature, we are well served not to lose sight of the compelling power of our inner animal impulses.

It is true that nature’s concern is purely with procreation and that it is we who employ sex for recreation. But let us not congratulate ourselves that in so doing we have gone beyond nature. The fact that we use it for recreation is, in itself, a ploy of nature whereby we so enjoy the activity that it ensures our continued interest and keeps us motivated enough to ensure procreation in the process. It does not take away from nature’s plan that increasing numbers of individuals can now deliberately block procreation while retaining the act for recreation alone. This is a relatively recent phenomenon, and does not change the greater scheme of things this quickly.

At the very heart of it we merely act out our hardwired impulses (that should ordinarily lead) to accomplish the propagation of our individual genes. This is the essence of life.

Now the trouble is that the human male and female have an inherent conflict of interest when it comes to propagating their genes. The differences in the biological nature of their reproductive systems dictates this unfortunate conflict.

A women is born with a fixed number of egg cell precursors. About nine hundred cells is her total arsenal. Like the nerve cells and muscle cells their finite number is determined before birth. During her few fertile years she only produces one viable egg per month (if that much). Over forty years (that’s a very generous reproductive lifespan) she uses no more than half her total eggs.

A man, by contrast, produces new sperm throughout his reproductive life. Each ejaculation belches out fifty million sperms. The mathematics is such that a conflict of interests is inevitable.

Since human gestation is one of the longest in the animal kingdom (elephants, whales and some others notwithstanding), and on top of that the period of helplessness of the offspring is even longer, it is essential that strategies be devised to maximize the survival of one’s offspring. These strategies are essentially different for men than for women.

Spreading his seed around as widely as possible makes the most effective genetic survival strategy for a man. The concept of “carpet bombing” to employ a military analogy. The best strategy for the woman, on the other hand, is analogous to “precision guided bombing.” What I mean by this is that since she takes a month to “re-load”, her chances of genetic survival are maximized by concentrating and focusing on the one sure shot that she can get. Thus the ‘nesting’ and the ‘clinging on’.

Now it can be argued that the trouble is not with biology but with the social power structure and the concept of ownership. If it weren’t for the male’s domination and monopoly over power, women could also devise a multiamorous strategy. For example, in a matriarchal system where paternity would not be a hotly contested issue, a women could ensure that a multitude of male consorts contribute to her offspring’s care. We sometimes see a version of this with less socially inhibited single mothers.

The bottom line is that its all in our genes. The moral hang ups most of us have about sex are really just that, hang ups!!!

…SR

Ref veeresh #13

[Way to go Farzana, platonic sex or zipless jiggy, live your truth lady!]

The exact expression, invented by Erica Jong in her book ``Fear of Flying``, is `zipless f**k`.

Yours in the interest of verity,

Harimau