How to kill your Wife (Unedited)
malik khar May 26, 2003
#58 Posted by stuka on June 2, 2003 8:09:43 am
Saminasha:
``1. No one is belittling homemakers. ``
Okay. As long as that is clear.
2. Should men be given options of being homemakers? Why/why not?
Given? What do you mean by ``given`` an option? A lifestyle/career choice is taken by an individual. No one gives it. If a man wants to be a homemaker, that`s his choice. The question of why or why not beyond personal choice does not exist.
3. Why is homemaking not an option for you, if it is such a noble career?
Social work is also noble. So is being a brain surgeon. There are loads of noble options out there. What does that have to do with my perrsonal choice?
``1. No one is belittling homemakers. ``
Okay. As long as that is clear.
2. Should men be given options of being homemakers? Why/why not?
Given? What do you mean by ``given`` an option? A lifestyle/career choice is taken by an individual. No one gives it. If a man wants to be a homemaker, that`s his choice. The question of why or why not beyond personal choice does not exist.
3. Why is homemaking not an option for you, if it is such a noble career?
Social work is also noble. So is being a brain surgeon. There are loads of noble options out there. What does that have to do with my perrsonal choice?
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#57 Posted by nazarhayatkhan on June 2, 2003 5:59:04 am
Reply # 47 ZahraJ
I confess that it is an incomplete assertion. While living in the West, she has to do all the house work to the extent of picking up the last spoon from the floor.
While she decidely has a much reduced workload while in South Asia.
It was general observation. I have a daughter-in-law who lives in the West. When we visit there for a month every year, my wife also works. That is the only physical work that my wife does in the whole year. Initially, she gets tired and then gets used to it. This one month of exercise makes her fit and active.
#56 Posted by ZeeshanMahmud on June 2, 2003 5:59:04 am
Tipu Sultan:
I think what are referring to is called ``The Stand.``
I think what are referring to is called ``The Stand.``
#55 Posted by Urstruly on June 2, 2003 5:59:03 am
Zahraj
I am far from evolved. I will consider my evolution only begining when I will be able to keep my stare down after the first one.
Coming back to the topic under discussion, I think our social structure is changing at an alrming pace. It is not evolving, it is degenerating because of the economic pressures and globalization that are gnawing at the very roots of our moral values. I have recently submitted an article to chowk on the subject. I would be very interested in your opinion since you are a working woman yourself. Here is an excerpt:
``Thus the position and worth of woman in Islamic society is not only equal to men but also slightly exalted if it is seen through the paradigm of ethical values, rights and responsibilities. It is an undeniable fact that no two human beings have identical capabilities, face identical social circumstances, or have identical intellectual level; some excel others. This is the law of nature and it is true for women also. Not every woman can become a business executive nor every woman could or would want to give up her family life either. Demanding a uniform code for all women is thus restrictive and unfair. Islam on the other hand recognizes the gender differences and establishes social justice and equity among genders based on that recognition. If a Muslim woman faces a dilemma as to what her preferences and priorities should be, she seeks answer to the question first as to what her responsibilities and duties are. We must benefit from the history and experience of the West. Instead of following them blindly we must try to avoid the mistakes that they have made. We must create an economic and social system, which does not strip women off the very essence of their womanhood. Islam, by securing the financial rights of woman provides a platform to her from where she can soar higher. It gives her the wings to fly and man is right behind her not to clip her wings but to be the wind beneath her wings.``
#54 Posted by Tipu on June 2, 2003 12:11:40 am
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#53 Posted by ZahraJ on June 1, 2003 8:08:43 pm
oN rEaDiNg PoSt 47 AgAiN:
It`s slightly skewed and weird too. Ouch!
Just like the typical Traditional South Asian Men are. No Pun Intended!
It`s slightly skewed and weird too. Ouch!
Just like the typical Traditional South Asian Men are. No Pun Intended!
#52 Posted by aicha on June 1, 2003 6:51:05 pm
sorry i think 47 is not only incomplet but outdated too - no offense!
#51 Posted by ZeeshanMahmud on June 1, 2003 5:22:28 pm
Bad Mother and Absent mother are two very different things Bakerman.
I didn`t read Misery or watch teh Reiner adaptation but I respect the King.
Hitchcock for his outdated glory is another director I can respect.
Cheers.
I didn`t read Misery or watch teh Reiner adaptation but I respect the King.
Hitchcock for his outdated glory is another director I can respect.
Cheers.
#50 Posted by Studebaker on June 1, 2003 3:14:10 pm
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#49 Posted by Studebaker on June 1, 2003 3:14:10 pm
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#47 Posted by nazarhayatkhan on June 1, 2003 7:24:51 am
South Asian wives living abroad get the best of the both worlds -
They enjoy the laid back house-wife life style of the East with no financial responsibilities -
While also enjoying the feminine freedoms/rights and economic legal wife-rights of the West.
#46 Posted by ZahraJ on May 31, 2003 8:41:07 pm
Urstruly,
That`s indeed a commendable point. Something you read made you see things differently or realize their importance. Well, we evolve throughout our life as long as we are recptive to the very obvious. When it comes to mothers, it goes without saying that there is a very special significance of their role in all phases of a child`s life and the child`s outlook towards life. Often times, whatever we see while growing up leaves a lasting impression on our mind and that`s the route we end up taking to certain extent no matter how accomplished, modern and liberal and etc etc we end up being.
I don`t want to write something for the sake of it. So, I will lie if I state that oh, I can see the role of a woman as a 100% housewife. Personally, I cannot imagine that. To me, women are 2 in 1 or 3 in 1. That`s what I have seen mostly. It`s a tougher role vs more or less important. It`s very hard for me to envision women without any identity aside from certain roles that nature has granted them.
In a way, you are right that women who stay home and raise kids can be taken for granted. And, interestingly, one of my friends who has been working for almost 8-9 years, as a research engineer, happened to quit after having her baby daughter last year. Her logic was that she always believed in giving 100% to her career and everything in life. So, now since she has gotten into a new role, she wanted to be fair and be there for her daughter 100% in the first few years. But this is her personal choice. Every women should have the right and autonomy to have a personal choice. I also have a friend, whose wife, a doctor, was at work after one week of her delivery. Her in laws lived in the same city, but she would not leave her baby boy with them. Simply, out of question! In fact, her son was with the day care from the very first month of his life. All the more reason, since the mother, a doctor, happened to be very assertive, sensible and brilliant woman, the husband did not debate much on how she wanted to raise their child. She was back at work fully after her baby was one month old and would take time out to feed the baby even while she was working since the baby was at the same premises within reach, at the same hospital. So, she planned and managed her whole schedule accordingly, but held a different approach.
In the former case, the approach was quite different. And, there is no right or wrong. It`s just individual preference. Now, do not get me wrong, both women have a strong identity, but they have a different way of handling matters pertaining to their life. And, here`s what is real important: self worth. You cannot lead your life how others perceive you. You have to lead it how you perceive yourself and where you want to be.
That`s indeed a commendable point. Something you read made you see things differently or realize their importance. Well, we evolve throughout our life as long as we are recptive to the very obvious. When it comes to mothers, it goes without saying that there is a very special significance of their role in all phases of a child`s life and the child`s outlook towards life. Often times, whatever we see while growing up leaves a lasting impression on our mind and that`s the route we end up taking to certain extent no matter how accomplished, modern and liberal and etc etc we end up being.
I don`t want to write something for the sake of it. So, I will lie if I state that oh, I can see the role of a woman as a 100% housewife. Personally, I cannot imagine that. To me, women are 2 in 1 or 3 in 1. That`s what I have seen mostly. It`s a tougher role vs more or less important. It`s very hard for me to envision women without any identity aside from certain roles that nature has granted them.
In a way, you are right that women who stay home and raise kids can be taken for granted. And, interestingly, one of my friends who has been working for almost 8-9 years, as a research engineer, happened to quit after having her baby daughter last year. Her logic was that she always believed in giving 100% to her career and everything in life. So, now since she has gotten into a new role, she wanted to be fair and be there for her daughter 100% in the first few years. But this is her personal choice. Every women should have the right and autonomy to have a personal choice. I also have a friend, whose wife, a doctor, was at work after one week of her delivery. Her in laws lived in the same city, but she would not leave her baby boy with them. Simply, out of question! In fact, her son was with the day care from the very first month of his life. All the more reason, since the mother, a doctor, happened to be very assertive, sensible and brilliant woman, the husband did not debate much on how she wanted to raise their child. She was back at work fully after her baby was one month old and would take time out to feed the baby even while she was working since the baby was at the same premises within reach, at the same hospital. So, she planned and managed her whole schedule accordingly, but held a different approach.
In the former case, the approach was quite different. And, there is no right or wrong. It`s just individual preference. Now, do not get me wrong, both women have a strong identity, but they have a different way of handling matters pertaining to their life. And, here`s what is real important: self worth. You cannot lead your life how others perceive you. You have to lead it how you perceive yourself and where you want to be.
#45 Posted by ZeeshanMahmud on May 31, 2003 3:35:42 pm
Homemakers play one of the most significant roles in our society.
A disgruntled homemaker is something no one wants.
Nothing wrong with men wearing that cape though but an absent mother does worse than an absent father. Unless of course the children are homosexual. That`s my opinion. Feel free to disagree.
A disgruntled homemaker is something no one wants.
Nothing wrong with men wearing that cape though but an absent mother does worse than an absent father. Unless of course the children are homosexual. That`s my opinion. Feel free to disagree.
#44 Posted by Saminasha on May 31, 2003 10:23:31 am
Stuka,
1. No one is belittling homemakers.
2. Should men be given options of being homemakers? Why/why not?
3. Why is homemaking not an option for you, if it is such a noble career?
1. No one is belittling homemakers.
2. Should men be given options of being homemakers? Why/why not?
3. Why is homemaking not an option for you, if it is such a noble career?
#43 Posted by Studebaker on May 30, 2003 1:27:24 pm
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