Goodbye, Traveller, Hunger

#11 Posted by temporal on August 22, 2003 9:50:51 am

...must b always be preceded by a?… what is order? and who longs for it? is it worth aspiring for?

...there are people around us who are dead long before their first cry in the delivery room…and to complement them there are certifiably dead people (like the mirza) who are more alive today than ever…jo tu na hota…

...these are seven Kodak moments of life in no particular order…the Traveller is really an attempt to highlight two different nuances in one poem:

Traveller

A drink or two
words spoken
morph
into significance

Traveller

A drink or two
words spoken
morph
in significance

guess i failed to convey it…

Urstruly good luck…with all the pennies in the jar you can buy a brass door knob in some fire-sale…hence good luck with the rest of your house…Ferzi… a revealing post more for what was not said…aamir, sam, dost, ferozk, ana, anuradha thanks

…oh!…and another gamble seems to have failed…was expecting more comments on HungerTishnagi…if for nothing than for its political-incorrectness…you guys are very kind indeed!

rgds, lve

t

#10 Posted by Urstruly on August 22, 2003 9:14:44 am

FV

I think I am a little too harsh on t here. The moshaira culture died before it was born in the colleges that I attended. No bait baazi, no wah wah, no miaN subhanullah; I don`t know anything of these things. I am a product of falana kutta hai hai, beinsaafi na manzoor, falana murdabad & falana zindabad culture. I am deprived. I don`t know how to appreciate beauty even though I lknow when I see it. I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.

#9 Posted by anuradha on August 22, 2003 9:14:44 am

t-

Lovely work. I like Musafir too.

#8 Posted by ana_dobarah on August 22, 2003 9:14:43 am

i think a link or connection could be made. . .but then again there really needn`t be one. like farzana`s comment about the progression. : )

the rhyme to musafir reminds me of the limericking that takes place spontaneously in a conversation. i like that.

#7 Posted by ferozk on August 22, 2003 9:02:57 am

re: T

I loved the ``Traveler`` part of the poem.

Ullfat ki nai manzil...

Ciao

#6 Posted by dost_mittar on August 22, 2003 6:44:12 am

If there is a link between the three, I did not get it. Liked Alwidah a lot. The flow and balance is really impressive.

#5 Posted by Saminasha on August 22, 2003 4:21:25 am

Musafir is pretty good...

#4 Posted by Ansari on August 22, 2003 12:57:04 am

t: really liked musaafir. the rhyme is delightful. :)

#3 Posted by tahmed32 on August 21, 2003 9:23:28 pm

FarzanaVersey #2 Urstruly will also need some company on the charpoy...

#2 Posted by FarzanaVersey on August 21, 2003 3:06:41 pm

temporal:
I like them for the depth conveyed in the simplest of words. But here is my take...perhaps you could have changed the order. Hunger, Traveller, Goodbye. And then see the progression...hunger (isn`t tishnagi thirst?) is a b!tch....then words spoken starting with a drink or two and finally morphing into the downpour (INTO - the parenthesis is unnecessary -- significance, and blending. Of course, they are stand-alone poems too.

urstruly:
If you want a bijlee-internet walla ghar you will have to wait till your grandchildren start suffering from amnesia...however, if you want a make-shift charpoy, pass me the jar....I shall send you four logs of wood and some rassi...some elemental woman in the world with a vaddaa jigar and everything else will make sure you do not need a mattress ;)

#1 Posted by Urstruly on August 21, 2003 12:41:59 pm

oh another poem - sigh!!! From now on I am gonna keep a jar and throw a penny in it every time you write bad poetry. I am sure I will be able to buy a house pretty soon.