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Goodbye, Traveller, Hunger

Temporal August 21, 2003

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#28 Posted by temporal on August 25, 2003 10:27:45 am
khatam-shud

...the emperors clothes dont depend on individual perception...either they are there, or they aren`t...

...if you say so...let us agree to disagree...

...the `inspiration` is a loaded one...need time to reflect than articulate a reply...so if you excuse me i will quote tom hanks in forrest gump...``s-it happens``...yes, i know have a rustice s-o-h!
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#27 Posted by temporal on August 25, 2003 10:01:57 am
ps:

please sub prose for verse
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#26 Posted by khatam-shud on August 25, 2003 9:59:17 am
temporal: thats the whole catch actually...the emperors clothes dont depend on individual perception...either they are there, or they aren`t.

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#25 Posted by khatam-shud on August 25, 2003 9:59:17 am
temporal: wondering...what was the inspiration?
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#24 Posted by temporal on August 25, 2003 7:39:54 am
khatam-shud:

thanks for reading these…er thoughts…you raise an important issue which am eminently not qualified to answer…what is poetry? …to really proffer a definition of poetry is a gargantuan task beyond the reach of this fringe poet…

…a quick check and i find these working definitions of poetry:

1. The art of apprehending and interpreting ideas by the faculty of imagination; the art of idealizing in thought and in expression.
2. Imaginative language or composition, whether expressed rhythmically or in prose.
3: any communication resembling poetry in beauty or the evocation of feeling
4: ``the measured language of emotion.``

…the poems i offered here are not verse by any stretch…or so i would like to delude myself perhaps;)…yes the emperor could very well be clothed, semi-clad or nude…it all depends on individual’ s perception…

Azee, sobs Banjaara thanks

..t
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#23 Posted by khatam-shud on August 24, 2003 4:17:15 pm
temporal: that didnt sound much like poetry to me..more like random thoughts that suggest wisdom in an abstract manner so that those who want to see it say they do...like the emperors new clothes....i dont want to be the boy who cries the-king-is-naked but will u please help me see the threads?
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#22 Posted by Azee on August 23, 2003 2:08:30 pm
Great poetry..!!
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#21 Posted by temporal on August 23, 2003 9:53:07 am
tahmed32

...tch tch...aapki begum say darkhaast hay kay is baat per (#20) aapka hisab-kitab laiN!


ferzi

jallad say daRtay haiN, na waa`iz say jhagaRtay
hum sumjhay huay haiN oosay jis bhais maiN jo aa`aye



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#20 Posted by tahmed32 on August 22, 2003 6:33:42 pm
temporal #18 Are these cyberhugs delivered on a cybercharpoy?
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#19 Posted by Banjaara on August 22, 2003 6:03:07 pm
t,
Peerzada Qasim has similar fans :

Kya isse behisi kahuN, ab jo na dad-e-fun milay
kerb tau saare zeest ke, aaj nava ke saath haiN

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#18 Posted by temporal on August 22, 2003 2:58:41 pm
ferz

...good post...am in a rush...is liyay koi achcha she`r yaad nahin aa raha hay!...later

lve and cyber hugs

t

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#17 Posted by temporal on August 22, 2003 12:37:51 pm
Urstruly

bhai these are not just translations each one is a bit more

tishnagi
tish na gi
from persion, noun
1:pyasa
2:kinayatan shiddat e aarzoo: shiddat e shauq:

now go check on shauq...specially the sufistic implications of shauq as in iqbal`s

maqaam e ishq say aasaN guzar gaya iqbal
maqaam e shauq maiN khoya gaya woh ferzana

...and then perhaps backtrack and think of other hungers and yearnings...

rgds,

t

chowk editors

thanks again and am impressed!:)
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#16 Posted by Urstruly on August 22, 2003 12:24:31 pm

FV

Oh yeah, now please explain to me why in the poem tishnagi means hunger and not thirst. Only that cost me 5 pennies and I am 5 pennies closer to my home. I will settle for a mattress though; oh heck a gadda would be just fine.
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#15 Posted by FarzanaVersey on August 22, 2003 11:46:01 am
tahmed32 (#3):
[FarzanaVersey #2 Urstruly will also need some company on the charpoy...

Umeed hai aapney temporalsaab ke kalaam par bhi ghaur farmaaya hoga!

Urstruly (#9):
If you know what love is you Cannot be a smart man. Welcome to the world of fools! And you do not have to be schooled in any mushaira culture to be able to connect with emotions. However, sometimes our efforts fall flat even if we think we have connected. For example, the poet has a shikwa against my reading of the ehsaas. I guess I too am deprived of an adequate understanding. But the quest continues...perhaps, in my case it is, ``Khalee hai abhi jaam main kuchh soch rahaa hoon...``

temporal:
[Ferzi… a revealing post more for what was not said…]

``kucchh kehne pe toofan utha deti hai duniya...apni tau yeh aadat hai ke hum kuchh nahin kehte``.

[and another gamble seems to have failed…was expecting more comments on HungerTishnagi…if for nothing than for its political-incorrectness…you guys are very kind indeed!]

Speaking for myself and my mean streak, it wasn`t kindness...just acceptance that anything can be a b!tch at any given time. Besides, there is always hope... ``tishnagani ke yeh din guzar jaayenge...mere saaqi ko nazrein uthaane tau do, jitney khaalee hai sab jaam bhar jaayenge.``



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#14 Posted by temporal on August 22, 2003 10:41:09 am
cicatrix

truth can be
incredible
(this is not a lie)

bruise and blemish,
scar, spot, frown

lines etched on the skin
betray past un-truths

should truth be damned
verity hurled out
hearsay to reign?
pass me the poison!

this one is dedicated to a friend who feels i communicate but do not connect...that i should concretize!...this friend is more sober when inebriated...and they say i appear inebriated when sober...sometimes i feel we can never win!...pass me the poison, please;)
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#13 Posted by temporal on August 22, 2003 10:11:32 am
for those who may not have read it earlier on the I-log will share two more:

with abandon none

have a life
one life
to live or waste
is all mine
to live or waste
to while or love
one life

all mine

all counsel aside
will live
like always have


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#12 Posted by Sobia on August 22, 2003 9:53:44 am
nice :)
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#11 Posted by temporal on August 22, 2003 9:50:51 am
...must b always be preceded by a?… what is order? and who longs for it? is it worth aspiring for?

...there are people around us who are dead long before their first cry in the delivery room…and to complement them there are certifiably dead people (like the mirza) who are more alive today than ever…jo tu na hota…

...these are seven Kodak moments of life in no particular order…the Traveller is really an attempt to highlight two different nuances in one poem:

Traveller

A drink or two
words spoken
morph
into significance

Traveller

A drink or two
words spoken
morph
in significance

guess i failed to convey it…

Urstruly good luck…with all the pennies in the jar you can buy a brass door knob in some fire-sale…hence good luck with the rest of your house…Ferzi… a revealing post more for what was not said…aamir, sam, dost, ferozk, ana, anuradha thanks

…oh!…and another gamble seems to have failed…was expecting more comments on HungerTishnagi…if for nothing than for its political-incorrectness…you guys are very kind indeed!

rgds, lve

t

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#10 Posted by Urstruly on August 22, 2003 9:14:44 am

FV

I think I am a little too harsh on t here. The moshaira culture died before it was born in the colleges that I attended. No bait baazi, no wah wah, no miaN subhanullah; I don`t know anything of these things. I am a product of falana kutta hai hai, beinsaafi na manzoor, falana murdabad & falana zindabad culture. I am deprived. I don`t know how to appreciate beauty even though I lknow when I see it. I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.
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#9 Posted by anuradha on August 22, 2003 9:14:44 am
t-

Lovely work. I like Musafir too.
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#8 Posted by ana_dobarah on August 22, 2003 9:14:43 am
i think a link or connection could be made. . .but then again there really needn`t be one. like farzana`s comment about the progression. : )

the rhyme to musafir reminds me of the limericking that takes place spontaneously in a conversation. i like that.
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#7 Posted by ferozk on August 22, 2003 9:02:57 am
re: T

I loved the ``Traveler`` part of the poem.

Ullfat ki nai manzil...

Ciao
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#6 Posted by dost_mittar on August 22, 2003 6:44:12 am
If there is a link between the three, I did not get it. Liked Alwidah a lot. The flow and balance is really impressive.
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#5 Posted by Saminasha on August 22, 2003 4:21:25 am
Musafir is pretty good...
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#4 Posted by Ansari on August 22, 2003 12:57:04 am
t: really liked musaafir. the rhyme is delightful. :)
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#3 Posted by tahmed32 on August 21, 2003 9:23:28 pm
FarzanaVersey #2 Urstruly will also need some company on the charpoy...
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#2 Posted by FarzanaVersey on August 21, 2003 3:06:41 pm
temporal:
I like them for the depth conveyed in the simplest of words. But here is my take...perhaps you could have changed the order. Hunger, Traveller, Goodbye. And then see the progression...hunger (isn`t tishnagi thirst?) is a b!tch....then words spoken starting with a drink or two and finally morphing into the downpour (INTO - the parenthesis is unnecessary -- significance, and blending. Of course, they are stand-alone poems too.

urstruly:
If you want a bijlee-internet walla ghar you will have to wait till your grandchildren start suffering from amnesia...however, if you want a make-shift charpoy, pass me the jar....I shall send you four logs of wood and some rassi...some elemental woman in the world with a vaddaa jigar and everything else will make sure you do not need a mattress ;)
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#1 Posted by Urstruly on August 21, 2003 12:41:59 pm

oh another poem - sigh!!! From now on I am gonna keep a jar and throw a penny in it every time you write bad poetry. I am sure I will be able to buy a house pretty soon.
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listing 1-16   1 2

Interact Index

    #28 temporal
    #27 temporal
    #26 khatam-shud
    #25 khatam-shud
    #24 temporal
    #23 khatam-shud
    #22 Azee
    #21 temporal
    #20 tahmed32
    #19 Banjaara
    #18 temporal
    #17 temporal
    #16 Urstruly
    #15 FarzanaVersey
    #14 temporal
    #13 temporal
    #12 Sobia
    #11 temporal
    #10 Urstruly
    #9 anuradha
    #8 ana_dobarah
    #7 ferozk
    #6 dost_mittar
    #5 Saminasha
    #4 Ansari
    #3 tahmed32
    #2 FarzanaVersey
    #1 Urstruly

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