Postcards from Heaven
qudsia raja October 11, 2003
#9 Posted by fara on October 12, 2003 11:52:42 pm
leaving behind not a trace
except perhaps
shallow dips in sand
where stretches of tide couldn`t reach,
loved it
except perhaps
shallow dips in sand
where stretches of tide couldn`t reach,
loved it
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#8 Posted by hamidm2 on October 12, 2003 12:25:10 pm
temp,
......... thanks for reminding me - not that mrs hamidm misses any opportunity to rub my nose in it ............
......... sorry, qudsia - it is a fine poem.......... don`t let me stop you - rhyme your heart out ......... being from the interior i have no idea what goes on in sandspit and hawkes bay ............this sandsurfsky concept is a little foreign .............
......... thanks for reminding me - not that mrs hamidm misses any opportunity to rub my nose in it ............
......... sorry, qudsia - it is a fine poem.......... don`t let me stop you - rhyme your heart out ......... being from the interior i have no idea what goes on in sandspit and hawkes bay ............this sandsurfsky concept is a little foreign .............
#7 Posted by FarzanaVersey on October 12, 2003 12:18:06 pm
Quite lovely...several wonderful flashes of tangibly felt experiences.
But re...
``i`m wondering
how every imperfection of sandsurfskyself
could in an instant become
perfect (and all the more breathtaking)
if only you were here
with me``...don`t be so sure:) Seek not perfection but that which is palpable, like ``imperfect crevices between round toes``.
And...
isitoutdatedtounderstandpoetryinthesedayswhensayingnotoversespinstheuniverse?
But re...
``i`m wondering
how every imperfection of sandsurfskyself
could in an instant become
perfect (and all the more breathtaking)
if only you were here
with me``...don`t be so sure:) Seek not perfection but that which is palpable, like ``imperfect crevices between round toes``.
And...
isitoutdatedtounderstandpoetryinthesedayswhensayingnotoversespinstheuniverse?
#6 Posted by temporal on October 12, 2003 9:50:52 am
qudsia:
...keep (reading and ) writing...the only way to discover a way with words...enjoyed this...took me back in time:)
lve,
t
ps:
hamidm
my dear curmudgeon brother
have you been always this intense?
is your youth a hazy dream
have you really forgotten
that tentative look in her eye
the glint in her eyes and yours
as she uttered her very first words
or took her first ginger steps?
later
you wonder why she is aglow
first love is just that and no more
as curmudgeon-ness gets at you
as you forget you were young too
once upon a…
...keep (reading and ) writing...the only way to discover a way with words...enjoyed this...took me back in time:)
lve,
t
ps:
hamidm
my dear curmudgeon brother
have you been always this intense?
is your youth a hazy dream
have you really forgotten
that tentative look in her eye
the glint in her eyes and yours
as she uttered her very first words
or took her first ginger steps?
later
you wonder why she is aglow
first love is just that and no more
as curmudgeon-ness gets at you
as you forget you were young too
once upon a…
#3 Posted by hijabman on October 12, 2003 8:09:11 am
Salaam, Qudsia :)
Well-written, great imagery.
If you would like some constructive criticism though, instant message me.
love much
Javed
Well-written, great imagery.
If you would like some constructive criticism though, instant message me.
love much
Javed
#2 Posted by hamidm2 on October 11, 2003 9:30:12 pm
...... this is sheer and utter nonsense! ............is puttingfourwordstogether considered poetry nowdays?????
how every imperfection of sandsurfskyself
could in an instant become
perfect (and all the more breathtaking)
if only you were here
with me
what!?.................. here is some real sand and surf poetry:
If ev’rybody had an ocean across the U.S.A.,
Then ev’rybody’d be surfin’ like Californ-I-A.
You’d see ‘em wearin’ their baggies. Huarachi sandals, too.
A bushy bushy blonde hairdo. Surfin’ U.S.A.
.............. the beach boys are a lot better than all these pretenders who scribble down some crap and then try to pass it off as serious poetry ..............
how every imperfection of sandsurfskyself
could in an instant become
perfect (and all the more breathtaking)
if only you were here
with me
what!?.................. here is some real sand and surf poetry:
If ev’rybody had an ocean across the U.S.A.,
Then ev’rybody’d be surfin’ like Californ-I-A.
You’d see ‘em wearin’ their baggies. Huarachi sandals, too.
A bushy bushy blonde hairdo. Surfin’ U.S.A.
.............. the beach boys are a lot better than all these pretenders who scribble down some crap and then try to pass it off as serious poetry ..............
#1 Posted by semipreciousme on October 11, 2003 9:30:12 pm
...loved it, quidsa...simply woven and so effortless to relate to..
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