Jinnah Hospital

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Rozaiba you have a definite gift for visualization, ie; manzir-kashi. The scenes described in
the waiting room are captivating. You can almost smell the putrid air, full of rotting fruits,
acrid sweat and chemicals.

But I have a major bone to pick with you wrt the moral thrust of this piece. IMO, You are
trying to link disease with the army, army with the elite and the army against the common
man. Why not the doctors, who make money hand over fist ?. Who get get subsidized edu-
cation at the expense of the tax-payers and then refuse to work in the interior ?. Who will
not give you the time of the day, untill they see 1000, 1000 kay note ?.

The armed forces are the most represented inst. of Pak society. You can join an enlisted
man and rise to the rank of a general, on merit alone. Aside from a handful of generals, it
constitutes mainly of the lower and middle-classes of Pak. Thus, its only natural that you`ll
find jazbah-e-quom and jazbah-e-islam in their ranks. Things that are mere alfaaz O` alqaab
in the intellectual circles.

These jabs against the armed forces are largely ineffectual and impotent, outside the drawing
rooms of liberal elites, because millions of ordinary Paks serve and have family members
serving in the ranks. They know of the army and what it stands for, firsthand. They don`t
need it spoonfed from above.

On a side note, people in Pakistan have no clue about traffic. People walk around the busiest
main roads, like they were in their pichwaRa, totally dismissive of horns from incredulous
motorists. On Shahra-e-Faisal where the `official` speed limit is 60kmkh, baba ji will calmly
raise his hand, signalling for you to stop and continue crossing the road, like laTT sahib. They
cross roads, looking the wrong way. Instead of walking on the median, they walk on the
fast track, head-on.

Lastly, the question to ask is, why isn`t there a pharmacy inside the Jinnah hospital ?. HaiN ?.

zeeshan:
she meant it`s disturbing.

semi:
you and your semi-sentences.

aaisha:
some people say that Faraz should not have begun to write poetry on politics and should have stuck to romatic poem. But I think he`s equally capable with `politically tinged` poems.

I am speechless really...but have to comment on the spot on commentary and presentation of our homeland...each day the gulf between haves and have nots gets larger...those who dream up of bridging the divide have not the spine to speak it out, follow and fight it through...and with the Independence Day just round the corner, let`s revisit Ahmed Faraz`s Ab Kiska Jashan manate ho:
...Yeh Nisf sadi ka qissa hai
Do Char Baras ki baat nahin
Aankhon main sajaye ashkon ko
Nohon say bhara Kashkol liye
Is jashn mein main bhi shamil hon
Honton pe wafa ke bol liye

...not bad but still nothing like your maut ka kuwaan...

Explain what you actually mean Anne Frank, I really don`t get anything besides ``I`m very easily disturbed.``

Azure:

Good. I foresee a large ‘chowkie’ get together of Lahoris in the future.

Aquaris:

It seems like drivers in general have this ‘It isn’t my fault’ behavior. The guilty parties are so adept at claiming innocence, the victim has little room to argue.

Bharatvaasi:

Glad you liked it. Let us know what else you may digest from it. : )

Qann:

Sorry to have disturbed you. I’ll buy you a few zingers and make up for this. Too ‘mothsmokesque’? you know I’ll take that as a compliment : ) thanks.

Yes Rozaiba, I`m in good ol` Lahore.

that reminds of an incident of which I am a witness...

any body who know a bit of lahore will know...AT Dubai chowk...Just before Bundo Khan..
Normally people take a wrong turn...from Bundo Khan then join the traffic or turn towards the FLATs,,

One such...person....was doing the same... In His New White corolla.... Just before the footpath an Old Man with a little girl was waiting for the traffic gap to cross the road..
Now that ......*&^%$# was thanks god driving slowly...but since he was on the worng side..and the old man was not looking behing..he lightly Bumped his ..$#@%^ Car into the small child...The small child being suddenly Hit fell down and started to cry...
Some padesterians gahtered around.....

That Scum &^%$#* waited for a while ...then stepped down from his car.....came toward the old man... then insted of looking or caring for the small girl.....Looked at the Bumper of his car.....and Innocently asked `` KEE HOYaee..`` ( ...What Happened..)


....PS since His car`s Bumper is not damaged....so its alright and evey thing is OK..


GEt your Own moral...from the incident.....

this is the first piece I have read on chowk which moved e to tears. It is powerful....I guess it will take sometime to digest the message(s) and come up with something new...however thanks rozaiba.....

I did not like this. It`s needlessly disturbing- I understand the need to make a point and to showcase reality etcetera etcetera but not to the extent where the reader is wincing and cringing and left wheezing with takleef. The content I agree with- our drawing room bureacrats and their progenies who know how everything should be and cant do anything beyond mere yapping as well as the hashar of our haspataals. But again, it was marred by the pajero scene. Too mothsmokesque and just too blooody disturbing.
Cheeers (eh?)

Rozaiba,

Please contact me at ylh@legislator.com .... about rumi`s gym.

That maingate is a killer for sure... I have had to bring my car to a screeching halt many times at the same place. Now I just go out of Faisal Town the other way... Milad Street ... I mean.

-Manto

Good Soldier.
; )

Sobia, Temporal: Thanks for your critique and help.


Ansari: I know I am. : ) but not as outstanding as certain doctors.


Samankhan: Glad you were.


Azure: I agree. Are you in Lahore?


Freethinker: a visit/stay at public hospitals is an eye opener. It can perceptions. Rather, defined how one see politics, elite, society etc.


Manto: No, don’t worry, I wrote this a while back : ) There are metaphors. Jamil and Akbar are characters one runs across. Detached from a burdensome reality which demands sacrifice, they prefer to nestle in obscene fantasies. Proud of their ‘martial race’ logos they are not affected by any tragedy (for example, 3 million or so East Pakistanis- those once most passionate about the country- massacred) brought about from arrogance. Parasites. But yes, an accident is just waiting to happen. I mean at the front gate. : )

You never took seriously my suggestion on taking over Rumi’s gym which is another stones throw away from where you are. It’ll be good business. : )


Khamkwa:
Or that the common man is murdered…


Minhaj, Stuka: Thanks for the comments.

Razzz, SameerJB and Manto:

Yes there is a new breed (of ‘professionals’?) that prefers to snub at anything that has to do with the state of affairs as well as the State itself. In arrogance, they reject the status quo but refuse to join in any struggle as they are detached from the roots of struggle. BUT when choices have to be made, they will favor those in power most liberal and resign themselves to those being ‘lesser of evils’. And so the Akbars and Jamils lure that small segment of society that may not think of them as KOOL, but certainly do not want to relate to those millions below them. The ‘professional’ class feels equally insecure.

Or maybe this observation too emerges more from ‘drawing rooms’ than reality.


Pakfin:

Exactly. Outside drawing rooms, at the ground level, it becomes a mere matter of priorities. At the expense of repeating myself, patriotism and nationalism in third world poverty stricken societies is a trait of fascists and fundamentalists.


Adnan_rafiq:

Your experience of being chased by dogs reminds of Faiz’s line based on Hazrat Sheikh Saadi’s story/line…. sung-o-khisht mut’ayad hain aur sag azaad… so apt. the ‘dogs’ roam free while one runs around helplessly.


Zeeshan:


Thanks much for the criticism. I like it better than praise. I do need to work on the prose. As for ‘urdu medium’ sentences, I’d probably prefer to keep those- whether they are intentionally added or accidentally slip in.

Pajero classifies that class well. It’s set to be a contemporary account. Motorway, and the very recent juice canteen set up inside the hospital premises.

I spent a year in an elitist school in Pakistan. Came across many Akbar and Jamil likes. Yes, they are deluded fools and depicting them thus was entirely intentional. The intense arrogance was what was surprising. Particularly among the ‘fauji’ class. : ) Many of the quotes were taken out of their conversations.

Will try to make you proud with the next piece! : )

I don`t think it was touching or hard hitting in anyway but you an undeveloped eye for visuals which you ought to work on. You also need to work on your prose ``managing to walk across is jarring and interrupts the narrative`` because there are some very Urdumedium style english sentences.

But I like it.

A few questions if you will...

Why Pajero?
What time period is this set in?
Are either of the characters a mouthpiece for your own opinions?

Both characters are deluded fools in their own right which was well done if it was intentional.

This was the bit that convinced me that you have something there.

``Fluttering in the night air, the colorful currency notes spread out aimlessly toward the ground.``

Work on your faults and I hope you can impress me with your next piece.

Good.