Jinnah Hospital

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Rozaiba you have a definite gift for visualization, ie; manzir-kashi. The scenes described in
the waiting room are captivating. You can almost smell the putrid air, full of rotting fruits,
acrid sweat and chemicals.

But I have a major bone to pick with you wrt the moral thrust of this piece. IMO, You are
trying to link disease with the army, army with the elite and the army against the common
man. Why not the doctors, who make money hand over fist ?. Who get get subsidized edu-
cation at the expense of the tax-payers and then refuse to work in the interior ?. Who will
not give you the time of the day, untill they see 1000, 1000 kay note ?.

The armed forces are the most represented inst. of Pak society. You can join an enlisted
man and rise to the rank of a general, on merit alone. Aside from a handful of generals, it
constitutes mainly of the lower and middle-classes of Pak. Thus, its only natural that you`ll
find jazbah-e-quom and jazbah-e-islam in their ranks. Things that are mere alfaaz O` alqaab
in the intellectual circles.

These jabs against the armed forces are largely ineffectual and impotent, outside the drawing
rooms of liberal elites, because millions of ordinary Paks serve and have family members
serving in the ranks. They know of the army and what it stands for, firsthand. They don`t
need it spoonfed from above.

On a side note, people in Pakistan have no clue about traffic. People walk around the busiest
main roads, like they were in their pichwaRa, totally dismissive of horns from incredulous
motorists. On Shahra-e-Faisal where the `official` speed limit is 60kmkh, baba ji will calmly
raise his hand, signalling for you to stop and continue crossing the road, like laTT sahib. They
cross roads, looking the wrong way. Instead of walking on the median, they walk on the
fast track, head-on.

Lastly, the question to ask is, why isn`t there a pharmacy inside the Jinnah hospital ?. HaiN ?.

zeeshan:
she meant it`s disturbing.

semi:
you and your semi-sentences.

aaisha:
some people say that Faraz should not have begun to write poetry on politics and should have stuck to romatic poem. But I think he`s equally capable with `politically tinged` poems.

I am speechless really...but have to comment on the spot on commentary and presentation of our homeland...each day the gulf between haves and have nots gets larger...those who dream up of bridging the divide have not the spine to speak it out, follow and fight it through...and with the Independence Day just round the corner, let`s revisit Ahmed Faraz`s Ab Kiska Jashan manate ho:
...Yeh Nisf sadi ka qissa hai
Do Char Baras ki baat nahin
Aankhon main sajaye ashkon ko
Nohon say bhara Kashkol liye
Is jashn mein main bhi shamil hon
Honton pe wafa ke bol liye

...not bad but still nothing like your maut ka kuwaan...

Explain what you actually mean Anne Frank, I really don`t get anything besides ``I`m very easily disturbed.``

Azure:

Good. I foresee a large ‘chowkie’ get together of Lahoris in the future.

Aquaris:

It seems like drivers in general have this ‘It isn’t my fault’ behavior. The guilty parties are so adept at claiming innocence, the victim has little room to argue.

Bharatvaasi:

Glad you liked it. Let us know what else you may digest from it. : )

Qann:

Sorry to have disturbed you. I’ll buy you a few zingers and make up for this. Too ‘mothsmokesque’? you know I’ll take that as a compliment : ) thanks.

Yes Rozaiba, I`m in good ol` Lahore.

that reminds of an incident of which I am a witness...

any body who know a bit of lahore will know...AT Dubai chowk...Just before Bundo Khan..
Normally people take a wrong turn...from Bundo Khan then join the traffic or turn towards the FLATs,,

One such...person....was doing the same... In His New White corolla.... Just before the footpath an Old Man with a little girl was waiting for the traffic gap to cross the road..
Now that ......*&^%$# was thanks god driving slowly...but since he was on the worng side..and the old man was not looking behing..he lightly Bumped his ..$#@%^ Car into the small child...The small child being suddenly Hit fell down and started to cry...
Some padesterians gahtered around.....

That Scum &^%$#* waited for a while ...then stepped down from his car.....came toward the old man... then insted of looking or caring for the small girl.....Looked at the Bumper of his car.....and Innocently asked `` KEE HOYaee..`` ( ...What Happened..)


....PS since His car`s Bumper is not damaged....so its alright and evey thing is OK..


GEt your Own moral...from the incident.....

this is the first piece I have read on chowk which moved e to tears. It is powerful....I guess it will take sometime to digest the message(s) and come up with something new...however thanks rozaiba.....

I did not like this. It`s needlessly disturbing- I understand the need to make a point and to showcase reality etcetera etcetera but not to the extent where the reader is wincing and cringing and left wheezing with takleef. The content I agree with- our drawing room bureacrats and their progenies who know how everything should be and cant do anything beyond mere yapping as well as the hashar of our haspataals. But again, it was marred by the pajero scene. Too mothsmokesque and just too blooody disturbing.
Cheeers (eh?)

Rozaiba,

Please contact me at ylh@legislator.com .... about rumi`s gym.

That maingate is a killer for sure... I have had to bring my car to a screeching halt many times at the same place. Now I just go out of Faisal Town the other way... Milad Street ... I mean.

-Manto

Good Soldier.
; )

Sobia, Temporal: Thanks for your critique and help.


Ansari: I know I am. : ) but not as outstanding as certain doctors.


Samankhan: Glad you were.


Azure: I agree. Are you in Lahore?


Freethinker: a visit/stay at public hospitals is an eye opener. It can perceptions. Rather, defined how one see politics, elite, society etc.


Manto: No, don’t worry, I wrote this a while back : ) There are metaphors. Jamil and Akbar are characters one runs across. Detached from a burdensome reality which demands sacrifice, they prefer to nestle in obscene fantasies. Proud of their ‘martial race’ logos they are not affected by any tragedy (for example, 3 million or so East Pakistanis- those once most passionate about the country- massacred) brought about from arrogance. Parasites. But yes, an accident is just waiting to happen. I mean at the front gate. : )

You never took seriously my suggestion on taking over Rumi’s gym which is another stones throw away from where you are. It’ll be good business. : )


Khamkwa:
Or that the common man is murdered…


Minhaj, Stuka: Thanks for the comments.

Razzz, SameerJB and Manto:

Yes there is a new breed (of ‘professionals’?) that prefers to snub at anything that has to do with the state of affairs as well as the State itself. In arrogance, they reject the status quo but refuse to join in any struggle as they are detached from the roots of struggle. BUT when choices have to be made, they will favor those in power most liberal and resign themselves to those being ‘lesser of evils’. And so the Akbars and Jamils lure that small segment of society that may not think of them as KOOL, but certainly do not want to relate to those millions below them. The ‘professional’ class feels equally insecure.

Or maybe this observation too emerges more from ‘drawing rooms’ than reality.


Pakfin:

Exactly. Outside drawing rooms, at the ground level, it becomes a mere matter of priorities. At the expense of repeating myself, patriotism and nationalism in third world poverty stricken societies is a trait of fascists and fundamentalists.


Adnan_rafiq:

Your experience of being chased by dogs reminds of Faiz’s line based on Hazrat Sheikh Saadi’s story/line…. sung-o-khisht mut’ayad hain aur sag azaad… so apt. the ‘dogs’ roam free while one runs around helplessly.


Zeeshan:


Thanks much for the criticism. I like it better than praise. I do need to work on the prose. As for ‘urdu medium’ sentences, I’d probably prefer to keep those- whether they are intentionally added or accidentally slip in.

Pajero classifies that class well. It’s set to be a contemporary account. Motorway, and the very recent juice canteen set up inside the hospital premises.

I spent a year in an elitist school in Pakistan. Came across many Akbar and Jamil likes. Yes, they are deluded fools and depicting them thus was entirely intentional. The intense arrogance was what was surprising. Particularly among the ‘fauji’ class. : ) Many of the quotes were taken out of their conversations.

Will try to make you proud with the next piece! : )

I don`t think it was touching or hard hitting in anyway but you an undeveloped eye for visuals which you ought to work on. You also need to work on your prose ``managing to walk across is jarring and interrupts the narrative`` because there are some very Urdumedium style english sentences.

But I like it.

A few questions if you will...

Why Pajero?
What time period is this set in?
Are either of the characters a mouthpiece for your own opinions?

Both characters are deluded fools in their own right which was well done if it was intentional.

This was the bit that convinced me that you have something there.

``Fluttering in the night air, the colorful currency notes spread out aimlessly toward the ground.``

Work on your faults and I hope you can impress me with your next piece.

Good.

Rozaiba:

Thanks for writing this. I was so moved that I had to take a break for a few minutes to recollect my composure.

Many years ago, a friend of mine was hit by a motorcycle and we had to take him to the nearest hospital, which happened to be Abbassi Shaheed in Karachi. A bunch of stray dogs chased us all the way through the grimey corridors of the hospital. The patients bathroom was flooded with water which stood ankle high.

The hospital pharmacy was out of every conceivable medicine. However, the guy was ``concerned`` enough to give us directions to a private pharmacy about 5 mins from the hospital. Later we found out that his brother ran the other store.

But, of course, its a lot easier to crack down on co-education, porno movies and cable TV.

Emotional as it is, this article correctly depicts the state of affairs in Pakistan. People have choices to make and can go in any direction. with limited resources, we can either spend these on buying new toys for the armed forces or use the same resources for improving the lot of the common man.

Very touching and excellent portrayal of the temporary moral ground held by the elites of pakistan and an amazing depiction of the paki inter class relations. But i guess it would have been apt to use the new breed of pseduo intellectuals instead of akbar and jamil cuase the next elite class generation doesnt consist of islamists and people who believe in authoratarianism. They are born and bred with more liberal values and their univ education abroad insures that they dont have a pro status quo mentality. How many people from elite education instituions (ones who ride Pajeros) like Aitchison, American Schools, LCAS, City Schools, LGS etc are going to turn out as islamists or pro establishment. These student bodies of these institutions are more likely to be the ones with a superficial moral values dilemma then a GC one. They like to be branded as THE OTHERS who frown upon everything which is the state or signifies the establishment cz they think its KOOL. Madiha wasti n her article The Sheep Dilemma has touched this matter in a sort of way as well. So the earlier HOLIER then thou islamist generation has been replaced by this WANNABE KOOL generation who think its KOOL to be labeled as the OTHERS and be anti state and liberal for the sake of it. Both generations have the same problem....i.e. their words go beyond the horizon but their actions are limited till their drawing rooms.

raza

Loved it.

This is very hard hitting. Vvery powerful.

I liked the plot of the story. The pajero and Jinnah Hospital are symbolic of drawing room and masses respectively. A drwaing room idealist and Islamist, Akbar is built as concerned individual on a higher moral plane but his character comes crashing down in real life outside the drawing room. He is basically thrown in the gutter with his final remarks as selfish, dishonorable and cheap person. This brings the story close to reality of inter-class relationships in Pakistani society.

[The man is thrown back and falls down, a stream of blood spilling out of his mouth. The baby slips out of the man’s arms and rolls to a halt against the edge of the gutter.]

....common man has been dead for ages in pakistan....

ye laash be-kafan asad-e-khasta jaaN ki hai
haq maghferat karay ajab azaad murd tha ......... Ghalib.

Very touching.......................

Caught between a rock and a hard place... between the devil and the deep blue sea...

The dialogue between Jamil and Akbar is sadly reflective of our society`s current polarization... Elitist Jamil doesn`t necessarily have to be the stability craving realist believing in authoritarianism and Akbar doesn`t have to be an Islamic idealist. The reference to the 1960s is valid, but then we shouldn`t forget what a real leader like Fatima Jinnah could have achieved had she not been murdered.

Off the motorway, onto Multan Road, then the Canal, and finally you turn right on the third ishara and you pass by Jinnah Hospital. My mother spent many years there as the additional Medical superintendant, and I write this sitting in my room which is a stone`s throw away from Jinnah Hospital. I can see how an accident can very easily happen between the main gate of JH, and Shabib Medical Store.

I am impressed by the way you`ve used Jinnah Hospital as a metaphor for Pakistan... a place where people come for relief, but are still suffering. Maybe that advanced bronchial cancer for the old woman is also a part of that. Maybe there is no point reading further into it... maybe this is just simply depicting the irony of life. In any event a classic piece... hope it is not inspired by our dialogue on the Junoon forum in anyway...

-Manto

The burly figure carrying the baby watches but cannot make out the screeching, sliding vehicle that slams into his ribs. There are gasps and screams from the crowd. The man is thrown back and falls down, a stream of blood spilling out of his mouth. The baby slips out of the man’s arms and rolls to a halt against the edge of the gutter.

---

*sniff* Very nice Rozaiba.

This is a good story and quite realistic. There hasn`t been much improvement in the public services in Pakistan. There is the same kind of uncertainty, same chaos, same search for suitable leadership as existed at the dawn of independence. If anything, a greater degree of cynicism seems to have crept in.

It reminded me of Faiz`s `Subh-e-Azadi` which started as follows:

Yeh daagh daagh ujaala, yeh shab guzeedah sehr
Woh intizaar thaa jiss ka yeh woh sehr tau naheen
Yeh woh sehr tau naheen jiss kee aarzoo lay kar
Chalay thay yaar keh mil jaagee kaheen nah kaheen
Falak kay dasht mein taaron ki aakhri manzal
Kaheen tau ho ga shab-e-sus`t mauj ka sahil
..............................................................
Kaheen sey aayee nigar-e-saba kidhar ko ga`yee
Abhi chiragh-e- sar-rah ko kuchh khabar hee naheen
Abhi garan-e-shab mein kamee naheen aayee
Najat-e-deedah-o-dil ki gharee naheen aayee
Chaly chalo keh woh manzal abhi naheen aayee

Wishing you well,

Mohammad Gill

rozaiba:

boo`aye gul, naala-e-dil, dood-e-chiragh-e-mehfil
jo teri baz`m say nikla, sO paraishaan nikla

...t

Pathetic and touching................

Outstanding!

roz..u brought the two together :)