The Vagina Monologues

Khadija,

So you meant only `sexual equality`. I was meaning `equality` more generally.

Well, words can certainly confuse. I had to re-read the article to understand what you mean by `sexual equality`.

If I understand correctly, you simply mean women should respect their bodies and stop demeaning and hating themselves for their lot (bodily speaking). Agreed...though `sexual equality` is probably not the suitable phrase I think.

Men are nowhere as penis conscious as women are vagina conscious. Thats the way nature thought it fit.

Since childhood, we men mostly think of the penis as helpful in controlling `line and length` in the delivery! Nothing much more.

So again...is it ever possible that women would think of their private parts (ok, bodies) as casually as men do? And will that really result in...`everything follows from there` ?? Doubtful.

- - - - - - -

As an aside:

Till about 5 years ago, I was the typical male ignoramus regarding women`s bodies. A bit
of extra flesh on the chest and a hole v/s pole is what I thought (crude!).

Then I happenned to watch a 2-hour Discovery channel program about pregnancy and how it alters the women`s body...and that just blew me away. (If I was Naqshbandi, I would have recited a couple of couplets about the glory of God right there!)

We`re a whole lot different than we imagine.
Somehow `sexual equality` doesn`t seem to make sense.


thx,

Naqshbandi:

Kindly take some relaxant. If there is also something out there in bio-sciences for hypocrites please look into it seriously.

Kind Regards.


Note: As a female reader, I do not find anything crude or crass in this write-up. I did find something that I cared to share in my previous post. That`s it.

VM is a beautiful play--it makes the heart soar--the heavy burden of being a woman who constantly has to hide, protect and deny who or what she is, is lifted for a brief 2 hour time period. One catches a fleeting glimpse of what it would be like to be proud of being a woman, the same pride that a man carries with himself wherever he goes. What would it be like to exchange the sense of embarrassment at having this body vs. a sense of pride and joy in being a woman. VM took out a huge issue out of the closet. It gave the possibility of a world that gives equal respect to both sexes and is equally accepting of each genders sexuality. For many of the men interacting here, it seems that for a woman to have sexual desire is almost contemptuous, a woman coming on to a man is denigrated and appartently loses respect. So much so that the most ordinary things can be misconstrued by pompous, aggrandizing men to be come-ons.

To all those who think that Vagina`s are dirty and not suitable to be discussed in public settings--and there are many among us--swear words like behen chod, chutiya, mother fucker-are an indication of what we think about women`s bodies--used quite often in public settings and private. First answer why are a woman`s body parts are described with such contempt. Also, answer the question: IF vaginas shouldnt be discussed either in public or in private, when and how should society deal with them? unlike men who brag about sexuality in school in colleges, society teaches women to NEVER ever to admit desire or pain. A woman`s duty is to give in, but never enjoy or expect enjoyment, but not every woman wants to be a plastic doll, living on the scraps of acceptance thrown out by the men in her life. Some women want more out of life. VM opens a new world for those people, who think there might be a better way to deal with female sexuality.

Khatam-shud $13

``And one point of clarification - what drove me to tears were women`s stories of rape - of sexual brutality. And it is the vocalization of this rape and brutuality that makes the vagina monologues so relevant- so essential to the emancipation of women anywhere in the world. ``

What a load of tosh! In Pakistan`s sexually repressed climate it is YOUNG MEN, not women, that end up being the biggest victims of sexual brutality. You should be crying for them. But that just ain`t fashionable with your femi-nazi friends in London and New York, is it? So let`s just sweep the REAL suffering under the carpet and pretend to be the lil victims. It`s so much fun and makes us feel so important.


These women who are demanding emancipation are precisely those women whose father`s corruption allows them to live the good life and to take mulitple lovers of either sex and of any race, religion or caste. The most corrupt and the most degenerate section of Pakistani society wants `emancipation`. I`ve heard it all now! How much more emancipation do they want?? The right to bestiality??

This isn`t about the vocalization of brutality or about emancipation, it`s nothing but an excercise in self-indulgence and pretentiousness.

Khadija,

Interesting write-up. You`re right in that the female body is the first to feel any tension that arises within our society. Victories are regularly counted in its terms, wars scored in its ravaging. Even in times of peace, women`s bodies are used as currency; pay a visit to the local newsvendor and count all the magazines and supplements that use women on their covers, and within the sheets, to promote sales. What surprises is that a lot of the time, the editors of these publications are women themselves. Could it be then that it`s not all a gender thing (men vs women) but a pervasive mentality that has both its adherents, who may be mostly, though not exclusively, men, and its opponents?

With a play like this, I think it`s important to go see it yourself before you make up your mind. It`s all very well to be shocked, or impressed, with women saying words like cunt and clitoris and the like in public but what need does that serve really? Does it begin to dissect at the prejudice inherent in this and other societies towards women, prejudice that has become internalised and taken root in the language or is it merely some attention-seeking behaviour out to make a buck?

Would you know if the play is coming to Karachi?

First of all.....Ansari, THANK YOU for understanding the point i was trying to make. About your questions...first of all...and i have clarified this before....no im not a feminist...i dont like the generalisations that come with the label....im just someone who thinks that people everywhere, regardless of gender, deserve better lives - even the ones living in the lap of apparent luxury....but that is a separate issue....

About the fact that women push women into compromising situations. Yes, that is one of my contentions.... ``first we must free ourselves from our own chains. Our own, and those shackled on us by other women. And we must free ourselves from the chains of those women who help propagate our self-hatred.`` Women - older women, conventional women, traditional women have long been the keepers of a system that runs on bigotry. I realize that there are men who understand female plight and move and shake to do something about it (such as participate in national programs to educate the girl-child, as has been much emphasized by one chowk member in his replies to my article) - im no man-hater - and i agree with you. It is a pervasive mentality and the patriarchal system is based on this mentality. I could go on for pages.......

Yes, one must see something like this to make up ones mind.
And a clarification....i did not appreciate the vagina monologues for the ``shock-value`` that they contained but for their honesty. Yes, it is a very in-your-face performance, but if it wasnt i wouldnt have 816 hits in less than 24 hours. And this particular fundamental which needs to be dealt with before women can live any sort of free life would again have gone unnoticed. You need shock value sometimes to wake people up.

The need to say cunt and clitoris is the same as it was when negroes embraced the word negro and absolved it of all negative connotation. It has cathartic value.

and you hit the nail on the head when you say that the prejudice has taken root in language. Thats precisely why you need to say cunt and clitoris. So that you root the prejudice out of the word and rid language of its bigotry.

``This liberal should be shipped to arabis where wahabi ruler will chopp of heads for for this problems. ``

:-) Ahmad Madani Zindabad!! Vote for Ahmad Madani!!

A woman no matter where has a very small window of opportunity in which to attach herself to a male. Those who cannot, spend the rest of their lives contemplating what might have been. A majority of contemporary literature, theatre, art, drama, movies etc. is predicated on the premise that a woman does not need a man to feel empowered. Trillions spent on Atkins,mascara and Gucci tell another story. Economic emancipation has led to a need for statisfying other needs.

The Vagina Monologues is an uncomfortable experience in a western setting and I can very well imagine the discomfort of Pakistani audiences. The NGO brigade will obviously portray it as some sort of a revolution but in the grand scheme of things, it`s just another evening spent by the elite convincing itself that it is at par with the rest of the world. It is. But not in the way it imagines it.

later
-sac

well written, but don`t know if the occasion itself justifies such rhetoric. bravo to the four for acting well from what i hear, couple of things...

would have been more interesting if it was a mix of people in the audience, if it was by invite only i`m not sure that would be the case, which begs the question...is this not preaching to the converted?

second, a lot of pakistani`s use various terms for vagina quite freely in their ordinary day to day speech.

third, classical dance performances, literature etc often deals with similar themes, to present the VM as the first of its kind is not fair to other, earlier efforts.

fourth, do write more on other things that move you

Khadija,

I read with tears that in fact you cried listening to the stories of rape as portrayed in Vagina monologues. That is really sad. Next time when you go for a play and wants to cry, may be at the next vagina show, print the message below, and use that paper to wipe your copious tears. It is from an article by Cowasjee and relates to honor killings. Wish you happy cryings.

If this is not a moment when you are the most ashamed, life is a punishment and death a liberation.

``In 1998, 286 such killings were reported in Punjab alone. In 1999, in a three-month period in Sindh 132 women were done to death in the name of honour, and in Punjab in eleven months 266 deaths were reported.

According to a February 2003 press release by Madadgaar, an organization funded by UNICEF: ``....during the last year in Sindh 423 cases of karo-kari were reported; in Punjab 319, in Balochistan 36, while in the NWFP 45 such cases were reported in the print media. A comparison of data collected in 2002 and 2001 shows that the trend remains the same and most of the cases were reported from Sindh. In 2001, the print media reported 453 cases in Sindh, 204 in Punjab, 69 in Balochistan and 27 in the NWFP. .... The monitoring of all the reported cases revealed that in 346 cases the perpetrator was the husband; in 183 cases a brother; in 92 cases in-laws; in 46 cases the father; and in 32 cases the perpetrator was a son``

Background of the monologues....they were held at the Human Rights Commission as part of an effort directed at Violence Against Women. proceeds from the show went towards women-oriented organizations.

the monologues are about violence against women - about rape and brutality. about making them feel horrible about themselves. see the show to understand.

Now, men need to understand that women are sexually repressed from birth. My basic argument is that this repression leads to more generalized female inferiority. If you dont understand this, then you dont understand any part of the discourse on women. It is precisely concepts such as sharm and haya that prove to be the woman`s nemesis. these are notions created by men as policing tools. Think about that....

and ironman, i hope that answers your question too. sexual equality is not limiting. It is a first step.

A tribute to A.Naqshbandi, a great soldier of Islam:


Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina
Vulva Vulva Vulva Vulva
Penis, Penis, Penis, Penis
Sex Sex sex
Pusssy Pusssy Pusssy
Cunnt Cunnt Cunnt
Cocck Cocck Cocck Cocck

And best of all Clitoris Clitoris Clitoris

Yeah and also Cunnilingus? Ever peformed muh brothers in Islam?

Long live the sexual revolution in Pakistan!!!!

-Ah come on you gotta know who this is!

Her Saintliness SaimaShah #35

``VM is a beautiful play--it makes the heart soar--the heavy burden of being a woman who constantly has to hide, protect and deny who or what she is, is lifted for a brief 2 hour time period. ``


hahahahaha....are you for REAL???...hahahahahahaha

Nnaqshbandi: I find myself agreeing with you on this issue, and I say this seriously. The problem is not the message, the problem is the importance given to shock value. It is the Gloria Steinem types who would have a major fit if the there were a bunch of guys standing around spounting off on the ``Penis Monologues``.

I repeat, one can address rape or even sexual dysfunctionality without resorting to deliberate shocking of sensitivites. In fact, the shock value then takes away from the core message. I have seen the marketing of the play on billboards and heard ads on the radio. Does the markting harp on the seriousness of the issue? Hell no!! All the advertising is based on a play of the word vagina and the equivialant of sniggering. So what is the point?

Then you have the desi aunties who will shift their ample bottoms and go watch a play like this and think they are very cool and with it. Hypocrites.

These are the reviews posted on the home page of the vagina monolgues.

``ASSOCIATED PRESS
``ASTONISHING THEATRE.
Hilarious, Outrageous and Effecting.``



“SIMPLY SPECTACULAR
Funny, poetic and provocative. An ‘A’”

Am I the only one who sees a disconnect between the above headlines and ..

``the monologues are about violence against women - about rape and brutality. about making them feel horrible about themselves.``

as the author of this article puts it? I don`t understand what is so funny and poetic about rape and brutality, unless these feminists choose to make it so.

two can play this game. wet t-shirt contest at french beach on saturday to celebrate opening of first hooters in karachi.