The Ugly Empire

Have faith in Him and Insh`Allah you will get through this :)

ur article frightens me.

bcoz i have seen all this happen to me in the past year. in order to be my own man. in order to be emotionally independant. in order to give no one the right to interfere. i have pushed those who loved me away. as soon as i had the feeling i cud do no wrong, i did it. but my state of emotional independance read solitarity goes thru phases of immense joy and sorrow. at one time i wud love shutting out ppl who i feel are chocking my freedom even a little bit. n then i wud hate myself doing so. but the regret is only temporary and makes me even more resolute. i tell myself this is the price i must pay to lead my life of my own accord. n bcome no one`s expectation. many times i have let love walk out my door bcoz love to me seems like a burden. n in this way i feel i am cursed. but the worst part is, i dont necessarily want the curse to go away.

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haroon,

wow, that was very touching. there are times i have felt this ineffable quality of pain that you have effortlessly described. a mangrove of melancholy that spreads through your entire being, rendering you numb and void.
but i wonder if it is just a phase: youth-induced existentialism that grips us all every once a while and can be cured by a disciplined effort towards self-actualization. or, is it a more latent despair of wounded vanity and broken dreams that will menace you, like a disfigured birthmark, for a lifetime?
i hope that it is the former, and that you do not get sucked into a blackhole of self-loath and agony.

qs

This self-pitying is no good.