Dastak

Imran Suleman writes like a genius ! Great piece !

Usman Lakhani

Hmm, I have worked at desi reatuarants before. Instead of Paasha, the owner was Bhaisaab. In fact, it was two brothers. Billa and Ashwini, and both were known as Bhaissab.
They were haraamis, but I guess Ii never fell in love with some customer to think such dark thoughts about the owners.

I don`t understand why this chracter is so morose. Maybe he has just started waiting tables and is still stuck in the desi taboos against manual labor.

Nice. But Pasha`s character confused me. When Tabrez finds him doing the quality check of the basin, he gets a laugh from Pasha who you later describe to be of a meaner nature. In think you should have had given the exact image from the very beginning. His laughter, the sweat on his forehead, and his deep baritone voice gave me the impression of a kind hearted person. I guess you wanted it that way.

One more thing... where`s the Dastak?

Nice contrasts. Simplicity versus the pierced youngmen. Lassi versus the beer. Paratha kebabs versus the diet drink. A rejection for what is one`s very own. Being not so accomplished, I will not crticise but only give my opinion. We live in a world of starking contrasts and its usaully the non original that gets the nod.
Yes it is a good knock but I wonder how many will open the door. You created the suspense and left the door wide open.
Cheers

Good to see chowk put up this type of stuff.

As far as the story goes, Pasha should have been developed more. He seemed fake. Forced. Some more additions to the `Tabrez- Ma`am` relationship are needed.

Write more Imran Suleman!

imran:

…first a warm welcome to chowk…

…well crafted…good juxtapositing…sharp nuances…chuckled at ghee paratha with diet coke!…

…(speaking to a director)…perhaps some more spotlights to contrast the highlights?…and yes please keep contributing here…

…t

Vividly written. Enjoyed it a lot. Yay Mango lassi! Cheers.

re: temporal

{imran:

…first a warm welcome to chowk… }

...who put you on the welcoming committee?...

rsaxena #8

[...who put you on the welcoming committee?...]

....and who authorised you to question the inputs of other interactors on Chowk?

Good Stuff..

A couple of sequels are required to track our friend`s saga.

Sounded like ``Shalimar`` a pak owned place off university way in Seattle. That also has a nepali looking waitress (and a pretty indo-american one as well)

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Nice one, Imran!

Rozaiba: ``Write more Imran Suleman!`` When was the last time you wrote something, meray pyaarey rozaibay? Write more Rozaiba! :D

To all: Your comments are much appreciated: Usman and Joyelle, your kind words made my day, and I wish you would have told me what exactly you liked about the story...in your case Joyelle, it seems like you love the lassi as much as I, and that’s good enough!

Azure: Pasha was created such deliberately. I find it more interesting if Pasha came off the way he did in the story because we often percive people wrongly at least initially. Yes, he might be very direct, and comes off as mean, but he is in fact running a business. My sympathies don’t lie with him, but he seems justified in his behavior because of the competitive nature of his business... mean might be too strong a term to define him. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts with me.

Dastak is the knock of novelty, freshness we hear occasionally… sometimes that knock can lead to life time of happiness with the person on the otherside of the door… sometimes not, and sometimes just plain nothing happens…

Stuka: your definition of the bhai brothers as being haraami bought a smile to my face. You might be right in your analysis; perhaps Tabrez is ``ashamed`` (for lack of a better word) of his occupation. Would love for you to share the details on the bhai brothers...

Ijaz: I would have loved to ear your critique... what makes you think you are not so accomplished... please dont deprive me of your thoughtful insights...your identifications of the contrasts give me a Dickensian high... the kind you get when you read the opening lines of ``A Tale of Two Cities``!

Rozaiba!: I feel bad that Pasha was not real enough for you. I am such a realist... thats all I want to write, film, think... and it saddens me when I dont accomplish that! I shall try much harder next time to please you. The reason why I take your comments so seriously, because I have probably read, enjoyed, every post that you wrote on the various sites as rind, rindh, and now rozaiba! (Yes, your posts and sayonee`s post were the most frequesnted posts in my internet travels starting in 1998!).... please keep contributing wherever, whenever!

temporal: glad you liked the irony... I remember a chain smoker once complaining of the fat content in sirloin steak!

joyelle: Yours bought a genuine smile to the face: ``Cheers`` haha....

warpster: so u know what I am referring to... is a nepali waitress a standard across all desi eatery`s. They are really sweet and polite...
and what’s with the names, shaheen, sangam, (dastak?)

cipram: thanks for the vote of confidence....

Ansari: thanks so much! and yes rozaiba needs to churn out more...!!

Thanks everyone!

Imran Suleman!

REVEAL YOURSELF!! You know who I am, so it`s only fair to ask about you. Glad you took my criticism of Pasha constructively. This was a `fresh` piece like much else Chowk`s been putting up recently and I`d like to see more such writings.

Ansari:

you are warned: some additional pranks are coming your way. tread very carefully.