My Bars of Chocolate

Dude u can sure say all that bout KARACHI girlz!

Its true that,galz r bars of choclate,
:) A great Choclate Story i liked It,Bravo

I am not sure about the chocloates as in Pakistan they are not that easy 2 have which you will hear from the top girls-man as well but i must say one thing that, You sure know how to play with words
Nice one :-)

#7 by UmerMurtaza on July 8, 2003 8:29am PT

in my last reply... i meant you are NOT smart enough to have an opinion on anything!

#6 by rsaxena on July 8, 2003 8:29am PT

excuse me? but who said karachi girls are ``generally unattractive``?



#7 by UmerMurtaza on July 8, 2003 8:29am PT

please tell me you didnt really think that ``testosterone laden`` meant Osama`s brother!

if you were serious about the cheesy remark you made...then i`m sorry but I dont think you`re smart enought to have an opinion. period!
and if you were just trying really hard to be funny..then i`m sorry once again but your poor effort at making anyone laugh wasnt very successful! maybe you were doing as Zulfi suggested, ``Climbing into a girl’s heart and getting a taste of that ravishing chocolate, requires knowing how to make them laugh, how to make them smile,...`` maybe you were trying to make all the girls laugh...

guys like you criticize any man who you think is a threat to your mental capabilities. anyone who`s even slightly smarter is automatically worthy of being mocked.
In my opinion, you`re remark was a pathetic piece of crap.



#14 by septran on July 8, 2003 10:11pm PT

just for your information, an extremely high sugar level can and does eventually cause heart failure.


As for the article itself, it was a bit offensive in the sense that women were being portrayed just as something you`d like to have only because it tastes good. I think there`s much more to women than that. But this was written by a man who`s brave enough to admit that men do actually fantasize about women, and keeping this in mind, I think it was pretty good. Only because most men I know will never admit to any girl that they fantasize about them. Somehow their egos always come in the way. Not that I`d want to know what men are capable of imagining!But there`s no harm in admitting that until men dont set aside their egos, women are and always will be something that men can only dream about and never completely understand.

#23 by nazarhayatkhan : Thank you very much for correcting me Khan Sahib.

Perhaps I am the one, who can fully understand your plight and agony when I put myself in your shoes.Believe me, this deficency is part and parcel of all and sundry of our previous generation.

No matter, they studied in grammers and public schools of Karachi, `taat schools` of lower and upper Indus basin, or the boarding schools of elite class, presumably whoever you point your finger, their quest for unexplored treasures within the `she-factor` is still not over, even though they have toddler grandchildren in pre-schools or walking sticks or fakejaws by their bed tables.

The amusing thing is that even the class factor fails to differentiate in this thinking pattern, you listen to the abuses and swearing of mid-aged phariwallas and tangeywallas, cheap jokes of hawaldars and naib-subidars (who still love to crack one or two daily to teenagers when I visited my Alma mater in Ghuragali,recently) or the so called educated people like Zulfi, living in modern state-of-the-art cities, you will sense the needle in the same quartile.

So all of thou have my word. You can write `as long and as much` as you like whatever come to your thoughts and believe me, atleast I will not shackle your `creativity` and anchor your `aspiration and appreciations`.

---

# 35 by Fasialuno :
I borrow some of your own words `` i have been working long hours non-stop (including weekends) for the past few weeks. and after being constantly treated like a machine by bosses and clients, i was trying to think of things that would put me in a different frame of mind. `` Quote ends.

You need proper bed rest and many good-nights sleep to function properly, What I believe is better you should consult some good Pyscologist for the time being, but for God sake donot go to those sitting on road sides with big `skull` boards or Sian baba `Jadoo Tonas`.

Just kidding, it is nothing personal, though, a large no of similar type of texts are freely available on e-zines and are bombarded daily by unsolicited senders so there is no reason that you are defending this subject with your sword sparkling and waving above your head like zorro.

All we people want is a little check and balance and a bit of `hush-hush` on chowk, nothing else. So cheers away.

---

#24 Faradi , LOL, I look forward to another Blasephamy novel, an extremly `open` and seducive... maybe this time by Zulfi...So plz let me know when the new edition is out. I want to rush there like Harry Poter `Chamber of Secrets` for my own crisp copy. By the way, I want to see a naked purple `totta` (Parrot) on the front page, not a crane.
;-}

Infact, I always admired Ismat Chugti and wonder to see some more modern creativity in Urdu and my beloved Punjabi and Sindhi Literatures.

---

#20 Charlie, Last but not the least, the testaments assure us that if we stick to our `allocated quota` than we will be awarded with unlimited supplies of `goodies with unimaginable flavourings` in a never ending after-life, So be prepared and take care.

Post 37:

Thank you for highlighting the gist of the article.

Many were having great trouble in locating that :-)

Take Care.

Men, married or not, can learn something from author`s following para:

``Climbing into a [women]’s heart ...requires knowing how to make them laugh, how to make them smile, leaving the ego at home and getting ready for complete, humble submission; doing the stupid pet tricks with reckless abandon; being a pet, letting her be the ring master``

Absolutely, unequivocally, true!

faisaluno #35:

my first reaction was to say let’s us agree to disagree and move on…but have to point out a few things…

first only sahib in the family is ‘walid-sahib’…

second: my comments are contextual wrt this article and what it purports to (mis)convey they were not blanket statements on morality or depravity

… our twisted attitude to anything fun…

---

agree fully…our sense of humour allocation from the one up there is depleting rapidly…

rgds,

t

nazar sahib:

thanks. keep fighting the good fight.

temporal sahib:

thanks for the thoughtful comments. i agree that ``spiritual compass`` remark was a bit out of whack. i have been working long hours non-stop (including weekends) for the past few weeks. and after being constantly treated like a machine by bosses and clients, i was trying to think of things that would put me in a different frame of mind.

that said, i do stand by what i wrote about our twisted attitude to anything fun. our general awam (at least the one in karachi) is lot more smarter than we give them credit. in the bank i used to work for in karachi, i was absolutely amazed to see women from urdu medium backgrounds being so open in their dealing with men including foreign educated ones like me. in fact it was the western educated woman who had a chip on her shoulders and who looked down upon anything desi such as eating kebab lunches at bunder road or going out for churees during chand raat. in comparison, women from places like gulshan and federal b area had absolutely no qualms about joining their male counterparts for ice cream after work or for special melas at funland held on saturday mornings.

now i know such attitude might not be common in backwater cities like peshawer and faisalabad but remember that where karachi goes, others follow.

nazar:

...can you please walk over to the adjoining office or call JM and ask him to reply to t`s mail?... thanks

..t

faisuluno # 31:

this is the first time i am inyteracting with you...have enjoyed your comments in the past…but feel this is slightly out of place…discussion is ok…but in an interactive medium such as this where is the writer of this piece?…khair…that was just an observation…

in my comments earlier i had quoted a childhood friend from Karachi who was very upset…perhaps should have explained why he was so upset…in his days he had experienced all this and more…and the time frame was within a few years of this narration…today with age and maturity, he rightly felt that his experiences only reflected a privileged and perverted minority’s and not that of the masses…

those who interact here belong to a certain strata of society…say lower to upper middle…the narrator, zulfi belongs to perhaps less than one tenth of one percent of those karachite…if he has not overtly exaggerated his forays, or even if he has, these are the (mis)adventures of a very small minority…

sorry for this longish interlude…now some specifics:

how the heck are you supposed to be human if you cant discuss ways of better calibrating spiritual compass or if you cant talk about your experience of trying to interact with members of opposite sex in a society that regards this activity as some sort of perversion?

---

you lost me with the spiritual compass bit…but if the focus is to discuss or enhance ineraction between our godforsaken land and society than my humble suggestion would be to start of with the masses…and see how the majority handles the issue and then perhaps discuss any amelioration of that situation…

whats wrong with learning about other people`s experience and why cant we have an open discussion on this critical area of human activity?

---

there is nothing wrong with learning from other people’s experience…or with having an open discussion…but learning for what end?…if it is for fantasy or vicarious pleasure`s sake (which i suspect is not your thrust) than it may be ok…but if learning entails absorbing lessons and rectifying and ameliorating the situation then dwelling on this particular effort is time wasted…

rgds,

t

Faisaluno # 31

Thanks for your post and putting a few things in the right perspective.

what the hell is wrong with you people? why are you guys so uncomfortable in your own skin? few weeks ago, you absolutely panned haroon moghul for his brilliant article on how islam could be used as tool to bring about positive change (``This Beloved Arab Colony``). now this guy is being dragged over coals for writing about a subject on the opposite end of the spectrum. how the heck are you supposed to be human if you cant discuss ways of better calibrating spiritual compass or if you cant talk about your experience of trying to interact with members of opposite sex in a society that regards this activity as some sort of perversion? whats wrong with learning about other people`s experience and why cant we have an open discussion on this critical area of human activity? why must pakis only think about bush`s policy in iraq or ghq`s policy in okara?

Hey Zulfi. I can always relate to a chocoholic like you. I guess you have the guts to write about the Tehmina`s and Kehkeshan`s of the world. Being a chocoholic like you I have a number of stories to tell, but I guess I will stick to writing about cars for a while.

Shahzad

#3 by aaisha on July 8, 2003 5:03am PT
An interesting analogy...chocolates and girls, hmmm...the daring were at it even as back as the 80s, and I always thought dating was a recent fever in the purported land of the pure...and now tell me, how much of this tale was made up and pumped up to garner accolades from fellow...``ogling testosterone laden male classmate``...?

Aaisha, let alone the 80`s I hear that there was more dating in Pakistan in the 40`s and 50`s.

#19 by SaimaShah on July 10, 2003 0:36am PT
veeresh:
I am surprised that you havent met more men who think like this. Isnt this the typical mindset? Funnily I havent met many women who brag about kissing a guy. hmmm. why?

Men may brag about sex, but I have actually met more women who discuss their sex lives rather than men. In fact most women tend to discuss their sex lives with their friends while men do not.

Farzana #25 you write of ``those sputtering, boom-boom things on four legs (not, not Two men, just One car); ``

What brand of car is this you have that has four legs instead of wheels? Have the wheels been replaced by legs to improve the sex appeal of the car? What will those clever japanese think of next!!

On your saying that I shouldnt be criticizing Zulfi, I guess what ticks me off is when women are treated like objects (chocolate, in this case) of some kind. He may as well be talking about an inflatable doll than of a human being.

Anyway...I stand corrected, as noted below in my response to Nazar...

nazar #23 You are right, and my feedback to Zulfi was meaner than his article deserved. To make amends, let me add some tales of my own - like the time the two tourist ladies in lahore assured me and my friend that they were ``very strait-laced...Really...`` Or maybe the time..... I think I better stop here...but your point is well taken.

Farzanaji,

Commenting on nationalities is not very different from describing people as different kinds of chocolate...and to be fair, there is a kind of pre-articulateness about this piece.

I am waiting for the next installment of this master piece.

A piece full of porno fantasies of a middle-aged man. I never knew that human stupidity could be a source of so much humor. Hahahahahaha!!!

Well done Zulfi!

Oh come on all of you...at least the guy used chocolates and not those sputtering, boom-boom things on four legs (not, not Two men, just One car); and how many women, when they were girls, were not beguiled by chocolates...heck, we can still give a few points to a guy who can russle up a mean chocolate mousse...and then those who complain about how the writer is not a teenager and ought not to have gone into this soppy mood -- why not? Nothing like sweet nostalgia. (I do not know about the level of circumspection he has exercised, and I am in no position to tell the amount that is good or bad.)

This is a personal account, and I think it is far better than some silly discussion about women of which nationality floating whose li`l boat.

tahmed32:
[There is nothing more disgusting than a middle aged man (or even a teenager for that matter) talking about his wet dreams. I think you are merely trying to get on the keyboard the sexual satisfaction you obviously cant get in bed.]

Unwarranted. The writer has not mentioned wet dreams, and I do not think anyone can conclude about a person`s sexuality by reading an article, whatever be your opinion about it.

SaimaShah:
[Funnily I havent met many women who brag about kissing a guy.]

Women are too modest to brag about themselves. They are the ones who do the major work or add that extra zing.

Re. necking, it is understood women enjoy it more, which is considered a huge problem because it is seen as a waste of time by men and a technical hazard...of having to find the neck through the forest of hair, danglers, chokers and yeah, even dog collars :)

Tehmed# 21 & Kaghzan # 22

Maybe I am wrong. But my view is that if some one wishes write about his/her fantasies, why not sit back and enjoy. Also why should we be too judgemental or holistic about the morality issues. Is it that that deep down South Asian conservatism that takes over us? One tends to get fed up with all time pearls of wisdom, preaching or serious tombstone topics.

If a person can not open up at Chowk, where else he/she can?

Perhaps the only criteria should be a well written thought, interestng and without use of any profane language.

With your high standards, you will at least cut me out of many of my favourite topics !

Perhaps, I would expect something more serious and productive from a guy like Zulfi...

Zulfi: further to Nazar Hayat, here is some more feedback to sharped your writer`s skills: There is nothing more disgusting than a middle aged man (or even a teenager for that matter) talking about his wet dreams. I think you are merely trying to get on the keyboard the sexual satisfaction you obviously cant get in bed.

Chocolate bars come in several different types. Only one life is not enough to taste all types of Chocolates. Let,s pray to have another life full of chocolates.

veeresh:
I am surprised that you havent met more men who think like this. Isnt this the typical mindset? Funnily I havent met many women who brag about kissing a guy. hmmm. why?

1. A woman is considered trashy if she kisses more than one man, a man is considered experienced.

2. A woman doesnt enjoy necking as much as a man or she must pretend so

3. The dynamics of power in male and female relationships.

As nazarhayat khan said, it was very open and that is always interesting.

Chowk staff: bring it on!!

now the QUESTION I would like to ask the Chowk STAPH -- on behalf of Ann Deborah -- if she would permit me --

how this sophomoric male chauvinistically pigletty -- BOIL of an article -- got thru the Chowk’s Sense n Sensibility Sensors:-)

Zulfi

You opened up your heart. That is good for the system.

My advice is not to take the criticism too seriously - the Chowk interacters do a useful job of making the writers a little thick skinned. These inputs are a feedback which sharpens the writer`s skills and also put him in a self-critique mode.

cholates and girls-too much sweet cause sore gums,have to visit doctor.Sugar level would be high,how can it lead to heart trouble?Yes,if wallet become empty then heart attack comes.so avoid too much sweet!

Post#3 aaisha,``And ialways thought dating was a recent fever inthe land of pure and now tell me``Aaisha,pure land had gone tremendous change since 80`s.Free mixing is common,it``s good opportunity to under stand each other,nothing wrongbut `snydrome``to be physical ,one must avoid.Interact with each other is a healthy way.

Kiss and tell is not such a smart thing to do, so one hopes you did the honourable thing by using pseudonyms.

As for the memories, sorry, but it does sound a bit like a presentation of ``joint`` memories, culled from here and there. So the first line says it all, the author managed to get some heart trouble, that`s about it.

rsax,

Oh thats right...the swedish fixation (rolling eyes)...I believe you and T-Bhai might have had something in common after all...:)

re: saminasha

{Well as Karachi girls tend to come from India, you figure it out... }

...hey, i never claimed indian girls were attractive either.... :)

Zulfi:

...a friend who has never commented on chowk ever but is a infrequent visitor called me long distance and interrupted me in a meeting to say ``been there, done that, but would not flaunt it``...he was very agitated...

..personally for me the humour evoparated like a pool in nuclear holocaust...even though i love dark swedish...

..t

U want ppl to appreciate ur totally immoral and irresponsible behaviour? First of all it looks like a whole bunch of wishful fantasies, and if by any chance any of it is true, its reprehensible. I can understand reminscing about ur first love or crush, or even 2 or 3 affairs, but to write and boast about ur constant lust for sex is deplorable. There is a name for it nowadays. Its called ``Sex Addiction``. U need help.

.... this trash from a teen would be considered growing up process , but when an old man relives his fantasy on chowk it is at best pathetic..........

Rsax,

Well as Karachi girls tend to come from India, you figure it out...

:)

...aren`t karachi girls generally unattractive?...

`Tehmina made me the envy of my every ogling testosterone laden male classmate.`

Testosterone Laden? Was he Osama`s brother. I knew he had 17 brothers. That should have offered enough combinations and variations on the male gender.

Osama Bin Laden was lanky, so his mother named him a lion as names can make a difference to your character. His meatier brother was named Testosterone Laden as he was a bit more of a man. I`ve heard of Maulvi Diesel but Testosterone Bin Laden. Ho ho ho. Chortle chortle.

And now let me come to this article. You know, I`m surprise by how much `tehzeebi` Paki men drool over women. Nothing wrong with being attracted to the opposite sex - God knows they provide better company than the lads - but it`s the drooling which puts you off. And it`s not girls - it`s grulz. Chill the fcuk down, people. Reminds me off the Punjabi song, `naram jayee te vava garam jayee.`

In my opinion, this was a pathetic piece of cr@p.

Umer M.

Guess we aren`t all that alone out here, as was believed earlier.
I wonder what happens when there`s a confrontation between two chocolate junkies?
Interesting predicament.

Zulfi

Thanks for your experience. Bold, simple & clear. I missed all these choclates since I was in a boys`` public school hostel.

I got instead full hefty choclate Bars a little later in life.

An interesting analogy...chocolates and girls, hmmm...the daring were at it even as back as the 80s, and I always thought dating was a recent fever in the purported land of the pure...and now tell me, how much of this tale was made up and pumped up to garner accolades from fellow...``ogling testosterone laden male classmate``...?

and I thought it was only me

I am not `very much` sure about the girls but chocolates have got this property that you want, so many, one after another. And thats why, I used to go for the chocolate part of `BIG THREE` by `WALLs` first, when it was the end of the month where I had not enough pocket money to get another one in School.

So you were a THEETA, thats what ppl call, a person like you in UET lahore. Yes, there are so many plus points of being a THEETA. Wish, I was one of them. :)