Translating Ghalib - A Tribute, An Effort

some one had told me two decades ago that Ghalib died on the India Pakistan border trying to cross it without a visa --

Umair tells me that the Great Poet reached safely, is alive and well, in Pakistan as well --

shukre alhumdulillah:-)

Romair
translations are incredibly challenging--here is my two bit attempt.

Ah the pathos of the heart that it is not a stone
It brimmeth over with pain again and why not?

Why should we not cry and cry again
when someone shouldst hurt us so?


(a bit in the shakespearen tradition:)

Inquirer #17: Thank you for the information. I appreciate it.

I looked at a lot of translations of Ghalib`s works, from India and Pakistan, before coming up with this one. Obviously, it can be improved, as you have correctly pointed out. Sarfraz Niazi`s: Love Sonnets of Ghalib (www.ghalib.org) is probably the most authortative book on translating Ghalib. I found all the translations, anywhere on the web, to be lacking. They tend to be literal translation of the words, with little balance. In addition, they lose the meaning of the couplet, in an attempt to translate the meaning of the words.

Here are attempts from some individuals far more experienced than I, in this area:

---

My heart’s not a brick or stone, why shouldn’t it brim with pain? I’ll weep a thousand times over — why should anyone torment me? (Preetam Giani - Pakistani Muslim with Hindu-Sikh name)

---

I do have a heart, though you have none,
and bleed it will, not being a stone.
You torment and yet don’t let me cry!
But I will cry till the eyes go dry. (T.P. Issar - retired Chief Secretary of the Karnataka Government)

---

My heart is not made of brick and stone,
that from pain it should be free
A thousand times will I cry,
What right has anyone to pester me? (Amir Tuteja)

There are many others. I read all these, got fed up, and decided to try my own hand at it. I think a good approach is to take the translation a couplet at a time, to get its theme, and then fit in as many of the translated Urdu words in it, as possible. Rather than translating the words literally, and then putting them in a couplet. What do you think?.....

dost-mittar Ji:

I hated translation from Urdu to English during school years. But poetry translation sounds good idea. Here is my ``F`` grade translation of Urdu to English.

I love young men.........mohabbat mujhay un jawanoN say hae
who lure stars..............sitaroN peh jo daltay heiN kumund

Doesn`t look good, sounds like Michael Jackson`s translation.

hills did not stop us, moved through river.........dasht tau dasht heiN darya bhi na choTay hum neiN
ran our horses in the ocean of evil.........behr-e-zulmaat meiN dauRa diyay ghoRay hum neiN

Don`t like it either, it sounds like male monolgue, translated by stuka/ sac.

I think I should stick to translating songs

yahoo..........yahoo
let them call me wild..............chahay koi mujhay jungli kahay
let them keep calling me wild..............kehta hae jo kehta rahay
we have lived with the storms of love..........hum pyar kay toofanoN meiN palay heiN
we will do whatever.......................hum payr kareN gay

This sounds like VM.

keep taking arrows, keep shedding tears.......teer khatay jayeN gay aansoo bahatay jayeN gay
keep penetrating to your heart rest of my life......zindgi bhar hum teray dil meiN samatay jayeN gay

Nops!

I think, I will switch to Punjabi to English translation.

load shedding all night, burning oil lamp.....bayyiaN bujhai rakhdi, deeva balay sari raat
come, sweatheart, I will anoint you.......aa ja dil dia mehrma, meiN naaz uthavaN teray

while putting her shoes on, Heer screamed................jutti pandiaN mariaN Heer cheekaN

Jaoooo Bewafa Sameer

Huii muddat ke Ghaalib mar gayaa, par yaad aataa hai.
Wo har ek baat par kahnaa, ke yuN hotaa to kyaa hotaa?

Yeh to huii bayaan kii baat.

Translation of Ghalib`s ghazal selected by you is rather difficult and your translation needs work.
For example:

Tis my heart, not brick, nor stone** Dil Hi To Hai Na Sang-o-Khist --Not a stony sieve
Weeps like others; don’t you know?*Dard Se Bhar Na Aaaye Kyon?-Heart runneth over
It will cry, a thousand times *******Royenge Hum Hazaar Baar

---

It cries on every
Why, do you, torture it so? ********Koyee Hamein Sataye Kyon?-- Infliction of pain.

I know, he does not, fear God*** Han Voh Nahin Khuda Parasat--Yes, God averse he is
Disloyal and faithless, he maybe* Jaao Voh Baiwafa Sahi

---

And unattached and faithless
The loyal, the faithful, those two* Jisko Ho Din-o-Dil Aziz--Chasers of chimeras of lust and
They have never, interested me* Uski Gali Mein Jaye Kyon?--Creed are misdirected to him.

Then in the last stanza translation of Khasta as death overdoes it. Khasta is better translated as ``plight.``

Romair good effort!

rsridhar #14
check this out
http://www.cs.wisc.edu/~navin/india/songs/ghalibindex.html

The Ghazals are at the bottom of the page

Faruk

Romair#13
Wah, wah!!

re: Ghalib`s poetry
Can someone provide the original Urdu verses along with the translation? I love Urdu poetry and this is one way i can learn new words.
Sridhar

Nasah # 3: “that first poem, is that yours?”
Aatay hein ghaib say yeh mazameen khiyal mein…… Ghalib, sareer-e-khama nawa-e-sarosh hai

Harish_hyd #4: Your translations are much better than your analyses and reading of Indo-Pak politics. :-P
Mantolives #9: “And even internal Pakistani politics...”
Ishq nay Ghalib nakamaa kar diya……warna hum bhi aadmi thay kaam kay

Saminasha #5: “Hope you continue in this vein...”
Younhi gar rota rahaa Ghalib to ae ahl-e-jahaan…….dekhanaa in bastiyoon ko tum ki viiraan ho gaeen

Dost-mittar #6: “And I am so pleased that you have chosen an Indian - not a Pakistani - poet for your first endeavour. :-)”
Hum muvahihad hain hamaaraa kesh hai tark-e-rusuum…..millatein jab mit gaeen ajzaaa-e-iimaan ho gaeen

Dost-mittar #6: “But unlike others I will only give you a B-minus”
Kii vafaa humsay jo,ghair use jafaa kahate hain…..hotii aa_ii hai kay acchuun ko bura kayte hain

Dost-mittar #6: “(lots of room to improve)”
temporal #10: “tanqeed ki goonjaish hay”
Huee jinsay tavaqqoo khastagii ki daad paane ki…….Voh hamsay bhi ziyaadaa khastaa-e-tegh-sitam niklay

Faisaluno #12: “i have to now, get used to looking at our faujis in a whole new light!”
Agale vaqtoon ke hain ye log, inhein kucchh na kaho…..Jo may-o-naghmein ko aindoharauubaa kahtay hein

“makes me feel like a fool for not taking urdu seriously in o levels.”
Mein chaman mein kyaa gayaa, goyaa dabistaan khul gayaa…bul-bulein sun kar mere naale, ghazal-khavaan ho gaeen

Naqshbandi #2: “loved both your own ode to Ghalib”
Nasah #3: “by God u R a Poet Laureate of Chowk”
Saminashah #5: “Both poem and translated poem are excellent!”
Inquierer #7: “You are a poet!!”
Rozaiba #8: “Really enjoyed these”
Temporal #10: “buhat khoob!”

Hain aur bhi duniya mein sukhan-war bahut acchhay…….Kahtay hein kay Ghalib ka hai andaaz-e-bayan aur

i have to now, get used to looking at our faujis in a whole new light! first poem was very enjoyable. second one, makes me feel like a fool for not taking urdu seriously in o levels.

Umair:
My B-minus was for the translation of `dil hi tau hai`. Your own poem deserves a higher grade.

Umair:

...buhat khoob!

...tanqeed ki goonjaish hay...laikin woh kisi aur din kay lyay ootha rakhaiN gay...mashq-e-sukhan jarri rakhiyay...

...t

Really enjoyed these Umair.

``PS: Your translations are much better than your analyses and reading of Indo-Pak politics. :-P ``

And even internal Pakistani politics...

Umair Raja:

Your own first poem, serving as an introduction to translation of Ghalib is tremendous.

I am still studying the other.

You are a poet!!

Umair:
Tau janaab shaayri bhi karte hain? Subhaan Allah!
And I am so pleased that you have chosen an Indian - not a Pakistani - poet for your first endeavour. :-)
But unlike others I will only give you a B-minus (lots of room to improve) but an `A` for an effort. May I suggest that you make greater use of Roget`s Thesauras next time?