Bus Baby

Nice verse,pure intentions.I found the first two para`s moving.For the war mongering hate filled jerks in chowk I hope this poem strickes a chord - who knows perhaps they might find their humanity again.
Nandan

good intentions bad verse!!
-p

Uurstruly:

``Are you a die-hard cycnic who has convinced himself that (H)Indians are animals and refuse to acknowledge any indicators of humanity emnating from that quarter?

Not yet; but I am almost on the verge of being convinced about that.``

Oh Please. Don`t let us stop you. Feel free to be completely convinced that we are animals. It really does not bother us.

lalib #33 Amen. Bina`s poem reminds me of the one my classmate cooked up as part of his homework when we were in class 8:

Title: A Mother`s Hope

Boy oh Boy oh Boy
I wish you were brave as a Sepoy
Boy oh Boy oh Boy
Become a Sepoy or I will Die
Boy oh Boy oh Boy
Dont do anything to make Cry
Boy oh Boy oh Boy.

yes bina, we know about ``imagination`` ... perhaps you could exercise some of it next time round :)

Thanks to those of you who liked the poem... sorry to those of you who didn`t.

For the record, I am not Noor`s mother, but I did write the poem as if I were speaking from her point of view. It`s called ``imagination``. Without it, there would be no historical novels, no science fiction, no mysteries, and probably no books or literature whatsoever.

lalib

theek hay!...jawab dainay jaiNgay tO baat buhat do`or tuk ja sakhti hay...liked your ``NEXT``:)...khush rahain...

rgds,

t

ps: have submitted some poems back in jan or feb...am sure they are lost...but if they surface here someday please be kind...(this is for you too tahmed32) ;)

#25 temporal
i had gathered that the pov was of noor`s mother ... and directness etc. are apt in such a context ... the only masla is that bina is NOT noor`s motehr, has no idea what noor`s mother felt like and from what i gathered from her brief intro has no idea what motherhood (full-stop) is about!! how can she even begin to write from such a complex pov???
it`s basic writing 101 that the author should know what they`re talking about. in this case, bina shah evidently doesn`t.

as for her past posts, well i`ve read a few and haven`t been particularly impressed (i`ve been visting chowk since 99. joined as a member in 2002. i`m slow in just about everything i do). yes yes she`s prolific and has been published two and a hlaf times over ... so what? that doesn`t necessarily make her a writer in my opinion.god knows how many books harld robbins and danielle steele have published!! sorry temp, you`ll have to defend her better than that!!

and you say ``it is not meant to be a literary masterpiece…it is to facilitate discussion over this incident…``. i don`t buy that. it was sent out to chowk because it was `considered` to be a literary piece. noone wants to get a bad poem published!
and to facilitate discussion?? the incident is OLD news now. the discussion should have happened ages ago. too late now. and in any case, ``unplugged`` would have been a better place to `facilitate discussion`.

khair, i think we`ve all wasted enough energy on this piece ... NEXT!! :)))

lalib #23

Bina could do worse
Than take your advice
And overhaul and nurse
Her ``poem`` so its nice

Sir t though assures us
That B cannot be wrong
She sits on Mount Olympus
With the great god Zeus
And with Cheech and with Chong

So though we be mere mortals
Of the chowk portals
We say (as you said) yet again
That ``rhyming words make not a refrain``

Noor, a Pakistani girl came to our land
She touched our hearts although her entrance was not grand
For her all India cared
To make her well no efforts were spared
While Jehadis were blasting Indian kids as planned

Dost Mitter writes:

Are you a die-hard cycnic who has convinced himself that (H)Indians are animals and refuse to acknowledge any indicators of humanity emnating from that quarter?

Not yet; but I am almost on the verge of being convinced about that. The fact is that the shananigans like this (Noor Fatima business) really put me off. I am repulsed and nauseated. Historically, India uses these tricks to keep Paksitans and rest of worlds` attention away from what it does to its own people in other parts of the country. Whenever, there is a talk of peace with Paksitan it quadruples its violence on people of Kashmir. It even starts using its airforce on those unfortunate, helpless, and voiceless people. The Indian genocidal machinary unleashes its full fury on the Noor Fatimas of Kashmir.

The day when a Hindu from mainland India will cover the head of a Noor Fatima from Kashmir with her duppata and would say that he is sorry would be the day I will think of India as it has stepped the thin line towards humanity. And the day when a Hindu will tie a rakhi to the hand of Munir from Kashmir and would say ``bhayya I am sorry`` would be the day. Until that day comes let me puke in my cynicism.

And these so called m/c NGOs, the so called champions of human rights.............I am sorry I can`t complete this sentence. I have to puke now.

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lalib

...since you registered on sep 06, 2002 perhaps…perhaps...you are unaware of her contributions or style…since aug 2 1998 bina has 45 contributions over chowk…not to mention a published author of a book of short stories and a novel with a third in publisher’s hands…

khair…here is my take on this:

…this poem is expressed from the mother’s pov…Noor’s mother…simple straightforward pouring of the heart…notice the construct and the words…it is not meant to be a literary masterpiece…it is to facilitate discussion over this incident…

hope this helps…

rgds,

t

Bina:
Bravo! The content makes up for what`s lacking in literary merit.

Urstruly:
``I dont see what the big deal is. ``
ferozk gave a beautiful answer to that. All I can add is, can you think of Dubai, South Africa or any other country where she would have received almost as much attention as Bill Clinton did in India? Are you a die-hard cycnic who has convinced himself that (H)Indians are animals and refuse to acknowledge any indicators of humanity emnating from that quarter?

i have no problem with the subject. truly.
noor`s case is worth a thought
what i assert/aver quite vociferously
is that bina`s poem is worth nought.

it reeks of excessive effusive emotion;
*sniff* tears rush forth as we hold hands.
Crapak calls it Literature!! WHAT A NOTION!!
Be exiled from these lands!!

the poem is almost as bad as a mills and boons.
in fact, it`s just about the same.
it strives to get us misty-eyed and swoon.
And hug and kiss. tsk tsk. bina. for shame

I`m happy`n`delighted`n`over-the-moon for the two year old.
i`m surely no sadistic boor.
but, Fox News comes to mind (if all truth be told)
when i read your ditty on baby noor.

even propaganda can be good art,
just look at the work of reifenstahl.
but bina, please, have a heart
give your poem an urgent overhaul.

tahmed32 jokes about the mafia and the `fix`.
i was in fits when i read his barbs
and his lingual phonetic poetic tricks.
i concur, we sure as hell ain`t bards :)

and yet again,as yesterday, i do maintain.
rhyming words make not a Refrain.

Anyone know where the hell anNy is these days? Haven`t seen her in ages. If you see this, please mail in!