The Beast and I

i vote zeehsan mahmud be booted off chowk for getting too personal in his attacks.

shandana

...zeeshan, just take your pseudo-critic nonsense and shove it up your behind...

Why does it matter so much, Zeeshan, what anyone thinks? Why come back with all these disclaimers? It really does bother you that people might think these things about you? Tchh tchhh.

What is not puzzling is that you like or dislike someone`s writing or that you hold up Warren Ellis (and yourself) as some great examples of writing and creativity. Come on, don`t tell me that whole ``please read what someone else wrote in defence of my `why I have to write` essay was not a rather transparent attempt to dazzle me with your prose. Tricky! Tricky!

I wrote something and put it out there, knowing that some people would like it and others would not. There have been others (not just you) who have found the piece wanting. Fair enough. That comes with the territory.

What is puzzling as I have said over and over again, is your violent reaction against any poor, hapless soul who happened to like what I wrote. Sure they are not as smart and discriminating and creative and oh-so-witty and wonderful as you (yes, yes, we know you are not *saying* you are a literary critic. But neither did they, did they?) but surely they have a right to like my pedestrian crap. Why should they be attacked by you?

Anyway, this is getting boring now, so I will not be responding to your postings on this topic any more.

Hello Gents. Ladies.

I am going to say this one more time.

I have not made any claims to be a literary critic.

I have not made any claims to be a genius or know-it-all.

I have not made any claims to be the finest writer on chowk or a master storyteller in anyway.

I do not really care if this doesn`t do a thing for your immature suppositions if you already think I`m one major arrogant prick who likes to stomp on the little people (only the stupid ones with more confidence than skill) think on.

Thank you for listening and drive safely.

The ``beast`` in this story reminds me of what Churchill used to call the ``black dog``. This was the name he gave to the bouts of depression he suffered. But that was in the mid-twentieth century when Freud`s theories still ruled supreme, and mental problems were thought to be the result of nurture, not nature, and no medicine was available.

So, instead of taking all that Tylenol and Aspirin and Nytol (I suppose anything in excess can kill you, including this over the counter stuff), all she needed to get rid of the beast is prozac or something.

As a short story this was OK. The start is interesting, the beast is interestingly portrayed, the ending is upbeat but lacks punch. There is not a whole lot of meat inbetween in this sandwich.

I think you have promise as a short story writer on chowk, but need to put more energy into your writing if you know what I mean.

These are personal opinions, and come from a worthless source (myself) so dont take them too seriously.

the use of `dots` in your writing somehow `read` well with the entire story. i tend to use them a lot myself...which they say is not `proper` writing. but all the pauses seem just right and sometimes cant be done without .... for me atleast. it was definitely a very good story...due on chowk for a long time now :)

godot (#33):
I said deja vu was not good for my health...I did not say it had anything to do with Jawahara`s health and whether it was her personal account or not.

Re. Carly Simon...I know many songs that say, ``and you are so vain``...;)

#35
Would you like to cry some more and bore me a second time?

#35

And btw...

If Warren Ellis writes juvenile crap, you are the Us Magazine writer (http://jang.com.pk/thenews/aug2003-weekly/us-29-08-2003/index.html) that will never graduate.

Then again you are an Us Magazine writer and Ellis is a very good prose stylist so we don`t have to go to an If like that.

This is not a half-sad, half-frightened, half-egofingering, half-kissmebaby comment, just in case you half-didnt know half-arsed poster.

Ah! Carly Simon & the song!

read somewhere recently that the tomcat will be let out of the bag. Was disappointed to learn the other name dropped (MJ). The Warren of Splendour i-t-g would always be the real Warren. Rest is just media hype and girlie-talk to hook and snare the real-man that was warren. A victim (or victor , take your pick) of the method-acting in that movie.

You`re so vain

---

some of the classics which nearly made it to a ghazal of urdu and a geet of hindi.

PS: Only suicide-bombers or suicide-bimbos hit the news. The rest fade away in diaries, notes, or bi-polar disorder journals: meaning no one misses them. The soccer above ground continues and the mirth and laughter does not stop for even a silent prayer.

Stop eulogising `dark` (whatever the anglos have taught you) thoughts and you will stop writing your live-elegies.

Besides,It is HARAAM for a muslim.

Zeeshan, #24.

Hmm...let me get this straight, because someone else said that some people at chowk fancy themselves literary critics you decided not only to attack me (which is fair because I did put my work out there) but also those hapless, uncreative, neanderthals who happened to like what I wrote? Yup. Sure, makes sense to me.

Of course in the process of reading that post I also read your essay. Good God! Can we say mental masturbation? I have to say that everything you criticize me for (and more) exists in your piece. Self indulgent, self aggrandizing and yes sometimes *uncreative* writing that makes me want to shrug and ask, ``And I should care about why you write because....?`` However, there were some really well written parts and a certain earnest youthfulness came through that was quite endearing.

As far as the other link in your response. Was that supposed to be a glimpse of some wonderful, disturbing stuff? It was puerile, juvenile crap trying to reach and falling far short. Just my opinion, of course. Just as people liking what I write or not, is their opinion.

Like I said, I put my stuff out there and get ready to be critiqued. Some will like it. Others will hate it. Still others will be indifferent. Some will get it. Others won`t. That is an occupational hazard that all of us who are self obsessed enough to write, live with. It is enough for me to write. I don`t have to ensure that people get it or like it.

I still don`t get, however, despite your oh so illuminating links, why you feel a need to attack those who did like this story, with such venom. Like it`s personal for you. Maybe it is.

Urstruly,

``On a side not - yaar I too feel hots for suicidal babes - may be it is the man in me who wants to save someone -``

You worry needlessly pal.

Your future babe(s) will have 3 months with you tops...before she feels suicidal

;)

Jawahara -

A brilliant piece as it is, and despite its universal appeal, but perhaps because it came from the heart and too personal, I see it has left some readers confused and puzzled because of its obscurity and the dots that don`t seem to connect...might as well...it`s better that way...too much public revelation is not good for your health, as Farzana retracts below...


Saima -

Somehow I knew the song will not escape those who know it...!!!

Btw, Carly Simon never admitted who it was for, but those who know the history know...like you do...and...I’m betting...also Farzana...

This is certainly a great song...a classic...and you`re right...it`s not only very intense but also a great sing-a-long...thank Warren for the inspiration...!!!

re: scott #28

...be nice to ZM..he will cry and curse if you hurt his feelings

# 24

We have not gathered here to put Jawahra`s character on trial or cast moral judgements on her personal self just because she is not ``creative enough``; this is a work of fiction and lets keep it at that.

On a side not - yaar I too feel hots for suicidal babes - may be it is the man in me who wants to save someone - but you are going overboard.

Excellently written. I love the lyrical language.

Of course, the theme of suicide/inner demons is well worn (and probably more to women`s taste, judging from the responses here) but that doesn`t matter. What matters is that the story is vividly narrated, and grips the reader from start to finish.

The characters seemed real, and the hospital description was scary. I bet if someone intending to commit suicide were to read this, he`d have second thoughts.