Almost...
Omer Fayyaz October 27, 2003
#5 Posted by temporal on October 28, 2003 12:10:26 pm
Omer:
...welcome...some good lines...hope will get to read more from you...
...living sometimes can indeed become a journey of mindful toes;)
...t
...welcome...some good lines...hope will get to read more from you...
...living sometimes can indeed become a journey of mindful toes;)
...t
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#4 Posted by Ansari on October 28, 2003 11:06:39 am
``I caught in a second look;
a child who slept
with his cheek on the pavement.``
Very nice.
a child who slept
with his cheek on the pavement.``
Very nice.
#3 Posted by asaweri on October 28, 2003 8:21:09 am
DEAR OMER,
well........i really think this was a nice piece.i liked your description of places but, you could have used a bit simpler language in the first para.
well........i really think this was a nice piece.i liked your description of places but, you could have used a bit simpler language in the first para.
#2 Posted by fara on October 28, 2003 4:09:10 am
Omar:
Where the footpath is drenched in darkness
in the quarters of light,
and look at the market across
when it burns suffocatingly with the friction of money
changing hands,
excellent description!
the first para though could be delt with in simpler language, but then again, it`s your piece. i found the way you described intricate details quite interesting. keep us posted with more...
Where the footpath is drenched in darkness
in the quarters of light,
and look at the market across
when it burns suffocatingly with the friction of money
changing hands,
excellent description!
the first para though could be delt with in simpler language, but then again, it`s your piece. i found the way you described intricate details quite interesting. keep us posted with more...
#1 Posted by FarzanaVersey on October 28, 2003 12:42:02 am
Omar:
This is `almost` perfect. And in the almost lies its strength...that sense of trying to get somewhere, in a marketplace, in life, within oneself...it is a constant struggle. And it came through. Almost...:)
This is `almost` perfect. And in the almost lies its strength...that sense of trying to get somewhere, in a marketplace, in life, within oneself...it is a constant struggle. And it came through. Almost...:)
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