Fishing

T-Bhai,

This is quite good. You`ve given your ideas time and space enough to breathe and develop-I remember when you began with a few of the ideas that are in this piece. The meditation and process genre of this piece works effectively as you look at each idea, interrogate them, find a metaphor or a try out several metaphors and move to the next idea.

Some arresting imagery; the mechanic and the bedouin, the dinner table, writing as entering a structure/words as keys that unlock certain ideas. You have found powerful visual representations of your questions about existance and writing about existance.

Intelligent, elegant and curious tone; after the first para I was able to trust where you were going and got ready to expect surprises. As you know, according to Frost and Kunitz, a higher compliment does not exist. Is there a subtext of anguish? Were you surprised by any aspect of this as you revised and reread this?

Technical suggestion:

``...They dwelled on subjects that touch the core of some mystical practice, green grass, shape of nose, colour of eyes, food wastage, garbage treatment, the rush hour traffic, the desolate vastness of the beach, the hue of water, reach of the waves before they die on the beach, the colour and make-up of the sand--fine, grainy, pebbly, soft, hard, crunchy, the observing look of the security guard, the blissful unawareness of the honeymooners, or the knowing smile playing upon the infant’s lips...``

You may want to experiment with separating each phrase with a period so that the reader has the time to register each image-this para is too fast and dense; whatever you can do to slow it down will make it more effective.

looking forward to your response.

U are weird

``fervors of a feverish faith.
lost forever in the desert
of the word’s un-harnessed journeys
in search of some lost fisherman. ``

Good words. Very nice.

I`d say you could cut out some portions as they didn`t gel with the `flow`. It felt like a... whirlpool : )

Godot:

I urge you to let me know when you have decided to grow up.

Profoundly lame. It’s true! The writing reflects the writer! Lost in his own Word Whirlpool where words drop on his head like rocks. Amazingly, no headaches...only delusions!!!

More often than not, knowing the meaning of a word does not necessarily mean knowing the word. Ah, but do the fools know that? Judging from this writing, apparently not!

“Why cannot a creation be made in isolation. Well guess to each his or her own. Am I the sculpture and the sculptor? Must be: for they both need viewers.” This is too damn pathetic! A man high on cheap whiskey stuck naked in a whirpool with rocks falling over his head thinks he’s deep!!! Barf.

PS: nice job of someone catchting some horrendous errors in this write-up and getting them fixed before I could take this “word-lover” for a ride!!!