The Thirteenth Hour

Faiza Jee,

After reading your prose, I sat for a long time in silence. I felt something that I wanted to express but could not find the words appropriate for this purpose. But what I feel can not be far from this poem by Pablo Neruda. Whom I feel this towards probably does not exist. But a certain certitude professes this my soul that she could have existed, could have. - perhaps in my dreams.

Take care.

XVII

I don`t love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz,
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as one loves certain dark things,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn`t bloom and carries
the light of those flowers, hidden, within itself,
and thanks to your love the tight aroma that rose
from the earth lives in my body in darkness.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where
I love you directly without problems or pride:
I love you like this because I don`t know any other way to love

except in this form in which I am not nor are you,
so close that your hand upon my chest is mine,
so close that your eyes close with my dreams.

- Pablo Neruda

You make a wicked enterance on chowk! Enjoyed the story.

faiza:

welcome to chowk...

i will have more to say on this story later...

rgds,

t

Faiza:

I do not feel like dissecting this story -- you cannot dissect a fragile piece of glass. And this is what it looks to me. Yes, there are little spots on it from where I am, I can see them, but I am aware that it lies there, telling its tale with those flaws. I am touched by it. The denouement is interesting, but I wish it had a little more `life`. I sort of expected it...now you could either say it is the narration that made me predict it or just that I have a third eye!

These lines come to mind...
``Zeest se tung ho ae Daag tau jeetey kyon ho
Jaan jaatee hai magar jaan se jaatey bhi nahin.``

Keep writing and I think you will find an even more individualistic voice.

Farzana

Nice perception, immaculate flow, better then many distinguished writings…

Faiza:

Ure one person whom I`ve really really missed on chowk.. it was nice to read all ure ilogs & threads (unplugged).. though i dint say much on each one of `em.. Inshort, great to see u come back.. be that the main page :)

The story is touching indeed.. Keep writing!

THIS STORY IS NOT ONLY ABSURD BUT SICK.

Hello Invisible/anonymous leafyglade-inn editor
Thanks for publishing this despite my refusal to revise as you had asked.

Hello Rozaiba
I hope my wickedness doesn’t become the cause of your nightmares;) Glad to know you enjoyed it.

Hello Epiphany
I first came across this in the movie Patch Adams and took me a while to discover the poet. Yes I am the casualty of science who regrets not polishing up on the literature arena. The metaphors are enough to stir up a tornado of emotions. Say hi to venus;)

Hi Temporal
I will be waiting and perhaps you meant welcome “back” to chowk; I have been here before.

Hello Farzana Sahiba
“you cannot dissect a fragile piece of glass”
Well you cant dissect it but were more than welcome to hurl a stone or two to shatter the “glass.” I am sure you have a third eye along with a sixth sense but neither were necessary to predict the end. The narration was devised to predict the conclusion early on; I was more so focusing on the premises that led the narrator to commit the actions and the treachery of fate. Thanks for reading/responding; always a pleasure to interact with you.

Hello Jahil
Thanks; I am flattered.

Hello Dreamz
Long time no see. Glad to see you drop by. Missed you too; how is your cut/paste from google business going on unplugged;). Thanks for the kind words.

Hello Inquirer
ABSURD AND SICK
I am glad to see I stirred up some emotions in you:)

Faiza:

..the `welcome` to chowk was as a fiction writer...otherwise you never really left chowk...last i checked you said those kind words to harish...khair...

...am surprised that this has not generated any discussion on child and female abuse and subsequent trauma and emotional disrepair caused into the affected individuals and their ripple effects...

...t

faiza,
nice to see this piece of writing from you. am finding it rather difficult myself to express in words what my thoughts are. . . .perhaps i need to let it sink in some more.
hope you will continue writing and contribute more to chowk.
regards,
n~

t.,
does anyone really want to engage in `healthy` discussion about `child and female abuse and subsequent trauma and emotional disrepair caused into the affected individuals and their ripple effects. . .` when we`re so busy bashing each other here on chowk?
lve. a. xo

Faiza aka faizahussain,

it`s `the` faizahussain! of the legendary cat-fight fame- a fight that will forever remain in the annals of chowk unplugged!

howz the work at PAR going? progress on reformist initiatives?

Faiza,
That you could express your ideas well I knew and have already commended it in one of our earlier interacts.
This effort has left me in a daze.
Too shaken up by the denouement, I guess, even though I was expecting it.
Keep writing.

Farzana,
If I may, its:

Zeest se tang ho aye Daag tau jeetey kyon ho
Jaan pyari bhi nahi jaan se jaate bhi nahi

Its an all time favourite sung by Fareeda Khanum in her inimitable style.
Regards.

saman:
Thanks for the correction...I love Farida Khanum so much that I guess along the way I just forget `listening` to her...but you know I like my version, it adds quite another twist! kidding...

Faiza:
I would never hurl stones at a fragile piece of glass...the shards flying would hurt me more than you might ever believe.

temp:
It might make sense to discuss female abuse, but the predominant imagery in this story for me was the `bonding` that another force has created. I find the narrator more interested in protecting something rather than destroying anything...I may be wrong, but interpretations are never wrong!

Love etc,
F

Farzana,
Yup! it sure does!
:)

Now everyone knows my fav8 site is ``Google``... :)

This was beautifully written and multi-layered with meanings. The nurturing aspect of the central character/narrator despite the act she commits is captured very well. Excellent work, Faiza.