A Brief History of Lies?

gujjubania #85

if what you said is really true, then pray tell us what you`ve studied?

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Yes, it is true that one of the reasons why we got our two undies entangled on this thread is that we sympathize with Mr. Hawking. Not only because we possess a collective IQ of 320 but also because we are too after all ‘physically disabled’. Our condition has put us in many a quandary through our torturous existence. Allow us to recount one of them…

We remember like it was yesterday. We had gone to the cubs game. The seventh inning stretch came around so we decided to get off our twin wheelchair and decided to walk to the restrooms. Now having spent more than three decades in the conjoined condition we have become quite adept at using a single commode in a public restroom. But this day would prove to be exceptionally misfortunate. We entered the large ADA accessible toilet stall and shut the door behind us. Right wanted to go first as he always does. So Left did what he always does in this situation, he got to the left of the toilet and knelt on one knee. Right simultaneously dropped his pants and positioned himself on the seat while bending his head and neck sharply to the right. Then it happened…

We don’t know if it was the big chili dogs we had eaten, the four Coors lights that we had imbibed or the seven innings we had spent in the burning Chicago Sun but something made Left dizzy and he simply keeled over to his left. This of course caused Right who was precariously perched on the toilet seat to fall down along with Left. Needless to say this was not the first time that we had had a fall, in fact we are pleasantly surprised if a few days go by without a major stumble. But this fall was different. You see, as he fell, Right was in the process of letting loose a big load of crap that he had been pressuring for the last few minutes. The sudden act of falling sideways expunged Rights load at precisely 45 degrees into the air. The projectile was about 6” long and by the time it landed on the wall across the toilet stall it was 6” in diameter.

It took us a few minutes to gather our selves and discover the mud pie we had created on the wall. Being conscientious and law abiding citizens we decided to open the toilet lid and proceeded to scoop water from the tank with our four palms and splashed it on the mud pie diluting it significantly. After several minutes of this procedure we had managed to remove the mud pie in its entirety but now the wall and the floor was covered in a mild brown slurry. Try as we would we just couldn’t seem to be cleaning ups the mess very well. Our frustration started to get the better of us and we started to argue.

Now its always dangerous when Left argues with Right. But conjoined twins pushing and shoving each other on a floor wet with diluted crap is a sure recipe for disaster. It just took a few seconds before we slipped and fell into the sludge. As we fell we knocked the door open and took out a few other cub fans that had been waiting to use the stall.

To this day we are fighting those fans in the court of law. They claim that we physically abused them and speared our feces all over them. We are getting to be such a litigious society….

nooralain #63
Thanks for reading and responding to my posts. I want to clarify that I didnot mean to `exclude` anyone from normality when I mentioned disability. I meant ``severe`` and traumatic disabilities - I remember the father of a childhood friend who changed totally after a serious accident. Even in the conservative traditional society of that time and place where such things were unheard of, his personality change finally led to estrangement from his loving children and divorce from his wife who tried her best till the last.

Let`s not turn this into Humanities versus Sciences debate.

Saminasha #65
That is a neat overview, the singular narrative of science vs setting up an imbalance/interrogation in liberal arts.

I personally prefer the singular narrative because common sense finds a place in it, because the narrative advances only on verifiable principle/fact and IMO, inbreeding, ideological cussedness and rigid formalism are less difficult to overcome. In other words, in my view, science is more liberal :).

``Perhaps the science world needs to join the rest of us mortals? ``

No offence, but God Forbid. This mortal would rather be dead than join a field of study where ( apparently) there is more academic merit in asserting that a famous person prefers kinky sex than in refraining from such unsubstantiated assertions.

That sounds so kinky. What if I drive to another town and on the way back I get a ticket. They will sure call their K-9 units because of this bad habbit of mine that I puke my niswar spit in empty coffee cups. Then they will find the book and I cannot afford a headline in the local newspaper that ``Highway Pervert Nabbed``. How would I face my people then.

Saminasha on January 30, 2004 8:41am PT

I say girl you`re chopping wood but no chips are flying.

Saminasha, please read post #58 by PunjabiZulu on January 30, 2004 7:03am PT



Re: #63 by nooralain on January 30, 2004 9:38am PT

Read Saminasha`s responses and you will know what Farzana speaks is not too far from `gospel truth`.

Karim

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``Ironically your first paragraph includes the very cliches that have been used by abusers to justify their actions....and Hawkings doesnt need a robot as an excuse for his injuries; women have been using ``I fell.`` or ``I walked into the door`` for centuries. ``

Who is talking about excuses? I am wondering about how Hawkings is responsible for his injuries as Farzana suggests in the article? It`s either he inflicted them upon himself or taunted his wife enough so much that she cut him up. Which one is it?

If Farzana`s motive was to showcase some males who enjoy being victims why did she pick Hawkings? That was the whole point raised by many posters. How does she know that Stephen Hawkings actually enjoys playing the victim card?

Samina #65,

You are talking as if everybody has already agreed that Stephen Hawkings is partially responsible for his injuries.

Dont be silly...everyone knows that librarians are gay-she`s not interested in you, she`s interested in your wife...thats another reason they`re going to hell...while fighting for your rights to check out a book on spanking....and I see we have our work cut out for us...when you go to the library, you arent looking up ``spanking`` ...youre looking up psycho-social and sexual disorders or something...drive to the next town-they`ll have a library too...that the great thing about America!

I am in a bit of quandry here ok. I am a respectable pillar of my community. A number of people know me. I cannot walk upto my librarian straight-faced and ask her to give me a book on spanking. Plus I have a feeling that she has an eye for me. I lead a simple life and want no trouble. So I would appreciate a little help under cover of annonymity. ok.

What?!

What is this gatha pan thing that you and your boys do when you have been told to do some work-``it is true``...you`ll say anything that saves you the responsibility of doing work...saving face is one thing...hiding one`s laziness is another...

Thus spake the horse - it is true.

Urs,

Because we arent here to educate you. And even if we were, you are a particulary knuckleheaded student. Why are you expecting answers from a horse? Mr. Ed died years ago. Dont you think milking a cow and stealing her milk without permission or compensation is an exploitative act? Not even some oats or a nice pasture where she doesnt have to hear your spanking prattle?

Why should we any different? Urstruly Baba, bring something of equal value to the table...then we`ll talk. In the meantime, I hear libraries arent spying and reporting on their readers books anymore..thanks to those progessive liberal librarians whom you and your posse have consigned to hell...you are safe...education is a good thing....