Restructuring Identity

Samina:

When I was a young man
I wanted to change the world
I found it was difficult to change the world
so I tried to change the nation

When I found I could not change the nation
I began to focus on my town
I couldn`t change the town and as a older man,
I tried to change my family.

Now, as an old man,
I realize the only thing I can change is myself,
and suddenly I realize that
if long ago I had changed myself
I could have made an impact on my family.

My family and I could have made an impact on our town
Their impact could have changed the nation and
I could indeed have changed the world.

(Anonymous)

Marriam,
Nice article.

Nazarhayatkhan # 22
“Good thinking. You are not alone in this crisis. Probably, 140 million Pakistanis are also wishy-washy in clearly defining it for themselves. Which comes first ? Muslim, Islam, Race, region, history, geography - and in what combination. As the word Pakistan is only 56 years old - and the constitution does not provide a clear answer. “

Why is it the case? Would you care to elaborate


Regards,

Faruk

why is the author blaming everything on environment. is human being solely a product of his/her environment? i dont think so, i think people are born with tendencies. some people are simply sick, while others are not. i think mankind has been killing each other since time immemorial and this will continue. children are not taught to fight at school but they fight. the point is, it is not the concept of identity that leads to social evils, it is inherent human tendencies that are cause of social evils. dont we have people of same ethnic/religous group fight each other? america faught its war of independence with british who were of same race, color, religion.

i think article is very good but idealistic and lacks dose of practicality. yes everyone would like to have a world where there peace all over the land but it has not been so in last few thousand years and it would be optimistic to expect it now or in future.

let me point two facts:

1. 31 percent of american women report being physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend (www.psdv.org)

2. african americans makeup 49 percent of those in prison (www.hrw.org)

Mariam

(For the past twenty-three years, the meaning of my identity has eluded me. As a Pakistani-born girl brought up in Germany by an American Army community, I constantly questioned myself: am I more Pakistani or American?)

Good thinking. You are not alone in this crisis. Probably, 140 million Pakistanis are also wishy-washy in clearly defining it for themselves. Which comes first ? Muslim, Islam, Race, region, history, geography - and in what combination. As the word Pakistan is only 56 years old - and the constitution does not provide a clear answer.

As for PEACE, the slogan ``Unity in Diversity`` sounds just great.

Marriam,

An idea rich article and very idealistic.

A few comments to start:

* Identity is often benign...it only comes to the fore if interests intersect divisions...have and have-nots along racial boundaries, for example, is asking for trouble. Identity and strong group affiliation alone is not enough to cause conflict. Even Osama had a political rationale behind his attacks - and it wasn`t simply ``attack the infidel`` that many like to parrot. The Crusades had much to do with plunder...perhaps that was truly what kept the Crusades going rather than misguided faith and hatred for the ``other``...although the latter didn`t help any.

*Our separate identities may well be the only thing ``real`` about humans...and ``humanity`` may well be the artificial construct. I find it ironic that often the people invoking `humanness` do so to distinguish themselves from savage ``others``. Falling on the lowest common denominator (our restructured ``human`` identity, if I understand you correct) may not be meaningful after all...groups form for reasons, and trivializing or suppressing/internalizing these reasons may not be the healthiest approach in dealing with each other...

*cough* naseeb *cough*

Welcome to chowk. Nice, from the heart writing style-

it`s just that

Identity discussions/politics make me want to fall asleep.

Also, in some ways I wish you developed the European-colonization. Seems like you touched on it briefly, buuuuut I was left unfulfilled *sigh*

Good article, Mariam Durrani. You have touched upon background and several aspects of identity. I am a strong believer in conditions dependent cultural identity. The conditions are:

Identity should not be a cause of regression

The sacrifice for upholding an identity should be minimum

The identity should not be insulting to others, particularly when others are majority, dominant or powerful.

Identity should not be written on the sleeves in as a minority, it should be held in the heart (internalized)

It should not defy the basic human values and rationalism, like castes.

Identity under threat of disintegrating or extermination should be considered differently (like endangered speicies) than well-entraenched and secure identities such as religious and nationalistic ones. National and religious identities are not under threat and should not be worn on the sleeves.

Identity should not be detrimental to basic human rights, particularly of dependents such as children. Children should not be treated as slaves to their parents wishes to adopt same level of identity with no concern of different conditions. A child`s natural growth and future should not be sacrificed in the name of identities. That is child abuse and victimization.

Dear Ms. Durrani,

You forget that amongst your audience are the brave defenders of Islam who look upon the term ``gentleman`` with scorn. These ``men`` think its very cool to beat up women, push them around and say insensitive and hurtful things.

I think its a wonderful article despite my previous comment. You see I was upset because it seemed like you beat me to this groundbreaking work. I think it went over the heads of half of these men.

As for Ms. Samina Shah,

Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are? Don`t let these utter beasts bring you down. It seems to me that Malik99 has an intimate relationship with his ``performance anxiety``. Malik try some viagra and get over it.

It is the hallmark of insecure men who feel bad whenever they feel ``less`` than any woman or whenever a woman beats them to it. I found your remark to be hilarious though a little too smart for the average fundie.

My dear Ladies don`t lose hope in us. We are going through troubling times when our women no longer wash our feet and drink the residue.

If you have lost hope in us then atleast have hope in your children for they are the future. Change yourselves and your relationships and your environment to cultivate gentlemen who are civilized and curteous and intelligent.

I know I am very hopeful because now there are women like you, atlast!

#12
I dont have any problem with aggresive women, in fact its a turn on for me but not for malik sahib, obviously.

I once dated martial art student...boy I remember her kick in the groin to this day..oh! I love women.

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nooralain # 12 - I did not intend to make any ``hell break loose``. I actually meant it as a compliment to Samina. Sorry if you misunderstood it.

Besides, Samina reminds me of the women of my family. They are all, without any exception, dominant, powerful, and assertive. My therapist and my trauma counsellor will tell you that I am a better person today because of being raised in such family.

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Mariam:

welcome to chowk!

(you will do fine with me-muslim:me-best chest thumpers:))

Only with an evolved notion of the self is it possible for contemporary society to permanently eliminate the antique specters of prejudice and racism.

…this hasn’t happened in evolved societies yet…we have to learn to live with prejudice and racism and work to reduce its ill-impact…Gnothi Seuton is an endless and thankless task…but in the end we are better off for trying than for not trying...

… women are now acknowledged by men, for their Identity as fellow human beings rather than the Identity as a female and therefore, deserving of equal rights….

…you sure the me-muslim:me-right legends-in-their-mind are cognizant of this?

...elsewhere today i commented on desi men’s attitude about women…about how (in my experience) desi friends do not easily or readily admit the role of their mothers in ‘cultural value transference’…(you mentioned Lacan’s mirror phenomenon)…commenting on this a friend made a frightening observation….i know am digressing slightly…she said if this transference to the child is more from the mother than the desi mother must be suicidal…in that she is breeding this new generation of fundo-beasts…the me-muslim:me-best ignoramuses … regression their 7/24 mantra…

...only their ignorance beats their arrogance…

lve,

t

that`s interesting, that men should display `aggressive` behavior on chowk and not receive comments about their aggressive behavior making anyone squirm and samina should show some assertiveness and all hell breaks loose.

ah, but that`s the way of the world. : )

saminasha # 9 - your agressive style makes many a men squirm in their pants (or shalwars). It is aggressive women like you who have rattled the eternal male dominance - and in the process robbed men of their identity and given them an STD called ``performance anxiety``.

as for your very imaginative question regarding the high fecal poundage to body weight poundage ratio, i would venture to say its more of a sanitary crisis than an identity crisis.