Prudent Rosy Knew My Vital Signs

Nazarhayatkhan

Thank you very much for liking the story and especially for my profile that you have sketched. As a matter of fact many others have profiled me before and these profiles range from Don Juan to Hannibal Lechter with a mad mullah somewhere in between. I usually thank all of them for their interest too.

Khamkhwa

Thanks for your critique. I agree that there is some redundancy at the end but that was deliberate. The dialogue that slightly repeats itself was written with the purpose to show that the qualities of Sami that had charmed Rosy were not only at his personal inner level but also on outward public level as well. I know it can be written a little better and I also know it violates the short story format but my pains were too much to bare any longer. I apologize for my laziness that it has disappointed you.

I-am-the-cheese

Please follow echoboom’s advice.

Trashman
Aggressivesoul
Maulabux
Romair

Thanks for your words of encouragement. You have no idea how much these one liners mean to me. I appreciate for your time that you took to go through the narration.

Cosmetics

I think women are not insecure but instead they have come in this world with a divine mandate to change their man. But situation in this story is little different - Sami and Rosy are breaking up for ever. Rosy`s request was actually like that group photo that we take after graduation from the high school. After that everybody goes their seprate ways in life but we reminisce them through that group photo. That group photo is usaually reminiscent of such good times with our friends that inside our heart we always wish that our childhood or teenage frieds never change. But time changes everbody. So when sometime we meet our old friends we are disappointed that how time has changed them. Similarly, unconciously Rosy is also expressing her wish that Sami never changes from what had charmed her about Sami - his passionate self. She wants to immortalize sami in his last image.

Ex-bookworm

I had a 90 minute cassette then; on one side it had all of the songs from their first volume (which are in this story) and on the other side I had the song `chehra` repeatedly taped over for 45 miutes - that was something I used to do with every song then and CD had not been invented yet. Parveen Shakir was a genre of her own and each and every bit of her poetry is worth written in gold but in this song she has expressed the ultimate of human emotions. Vital Signs used to chose their poetry very well. Chehra by Parveen, dil dil Paksitan by Nasr Nisar, and others by one of Paksitan`s most talented artist Shoaib Mansur have immortalized VS and VS have immortalized them.

In those days I used to play these songs usually in my car pressing the play button right after the ignition. A bossom buddy used to live at such a distance that whenever I reached his house the song `saanwali saloni si mehbooba` was always playing. Almost always my friends baaji used to open the gate for me. A very nice lady, happily married with three kids, but with a very dark complexion. One day she asked me jokingly why I always listened to VS and specially this sanwali saloni song? She said ``bhaai aap mujhe sharif aadmi lagte haiN, but this song is giving me ideas. Kia iraaday haiN?`` I almost died there.

Zahraj # 15



“Why did Rosy or Tiffany marry someone else ? I couldn`t comprehend that part very well.”

As a matter of fact you have answered your question in the very next lines of your post. It is the societal structure and pressures that give parents powers over their offspring, especially over girls. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes I think it is better because two or more heads are better than one when one head is already clouded with hormones. But then it is this desire to fly free. It is priceless. Isn’t it.

Kaun smajhta hay bujhi laRkiyoN ke dukh
Bas maa’aiN jaanti haiN apni baiteeoN ke dukh
Chaand kia jaane ga bheegay aanchloN ke bhaid
Chaand kia samjhay ga khulli khiRkiyoN ke dukh

Shandana

Thank you so much for your critique (oops I almost wrote `critic`). I think you might be referring to two words ``pendulously`` and ``caliginousness`` because my word processor also told me that such words do not exist. But I had a feeling that I had read them somewhere and I wanted to use them so bad ( or badly?). Then I thought ` oh heck I am a writer I can even invent new words if I feel like it`. Then I consulted a couple of on-line theasauri (oops I almost wrote theasaruses) and I found out that these words are correct.

In case you were referring to some other typos then I apologize for my boorish self-righeousness. I am not a writer for heavens sakes.

Rozaiba:

Yes it was an attempt to honor vital signs. Ever since chowk has started a music review section I was thinking about doing that. But an essay that I thought of at first wouldn’t have done any justice to them; they deserved the sentiments from the very depth of my heart. It was only through them I was able to express myself – me who is the most dispossessed as far as the wealth of ‘words’ is concerned. They were my voice. I ‘ll never forget them.

HP

Until sometimes ago I also used to think that expressing self is so unmanly and khaatoon like until someone complained that what was inside my pumpkin was inaccessible. For that I had to ‘re-discover’ the khaatoon in me – the khatoon that was always there and all of us have her inside us but we put a duct tape on her mouth at a very young age. I am still in the very early stages of my rediscovery but I am on my way.

Echoboom

meri deewangi peh iss qadar heeraan hotay ho
mera nuqsaan to daikho mohabbat gumshudda meri

Dear Friends

Only a poet, a writer, a painter, or a musician can tell what the labor pains of creation are. There are sleepless and painful nights behind every 3 or 5 minute clip of a song. These quanta of energy that these creators send to us are apparently taken for granted by us. This story is an attempt to show that it is not the case. The creations of these people do affect us in a very profound way. There is a reverse osmosis of energy as well, which usually goes undetected and unappreciated. It is common man’s tragedy that no one tells his epic. No one creates masterpieces telling their tales. They do not get (at least not everyone) their Waris Shah, Bullhe Shah, and Shakespeare who would immortalize their tail. There are untold love stories that happen everyday among us at our homes, at marriage ceremonies, on the buses, on the streets……. For those of us who are so insignificant the Shakespeare, the Bullhe Shah, and the Waris Shah are those singers and poets who sing for us and write poetry for all of us. This is an attempt to honor them and recognize them by taking them through a personal journey.

Originally, I intended to present this story sometime in early February to coincide with the Basant, but I was in labor pains then.

Romair:

Thank you for sharing your secret.

ZahraJ #20: ``Your current phrase or remark had its own ghissa pitta component in it. What have you been learning so far ?``

A piece of advice.............

``Aap zulf-e-jaanaan kay kham sanwariyeh Sahib.......
........Zindigi ki zulfoon ko, aap kiya sanwarain gaye........``

Romair,

Your current phrase or remark had its own ghissa pitta component in it. What have you been learning so far ?

``never change Sami…. promise me you`ll never change``. dunno why this senetnce sounds so familar..... why do girls feel so insecure ?

Very nice....

`Tis better to have loved and lost, than not to have loved at all.........

Love it , Love it , Love it....
After going through this lovely story ...though with a bad end... i plunged in to a big heap of old cassettes in my room .... but ah just find the cover of that vital signs volume one..... but that was enough for my memories related to that album.... all the maths problems i solved while swinging 2 the songs ..... in late 80`s and early 90`s i was just a school student but yeah i enjoyed it in my way..... i love old days.... i love memories.... so love it , love it ,love it

urstruly

If it is true, you were a sweat little laceherous kid. Naughty & clever. Then a very sensitve emtional adult. Romantic type but also sensuous, full of desires. And you have undergone or presently undergoing this emotional tumult in you. Only a real experience can bring out such a forceful outburst.

I read it all and it was shockingly realistic.

But the suspended animation during the period of desires is far more sweater than the actual possession. With possession, the passion evaporates rather fast.

Ask the married couples around - the morning after - without mascara, make up, dishevelled hair, unpressed clothes - it is back to actual life.

An enjoyable & a moving read.