Peaceful Strokes

Just a game, though I always really really enjoy watching the last few overs, always. Man of the Match (Acting, mime) award should go to Javed Miandad doing the solo-swoop-salsa in the last few overs. Hilarious and so human. That is why I am going to sit in the Javed Miandad stand, Rawalpindi, wearing Indian colours with the chowk logo on it, yes.

Very sporting crowd at Karachi, for those who caught the body language and facial expressions in the stands as the match swayed. Much to nobody`s surprise, other than some of the al-wierdo Arab wannabes, the crowd looked like any crowd would at Wankhede/Mumbai or Ferozshah Kotla/Delhi.

So there it is.

(Over whelmed?)

Looks like Hamidm is not the only one worried about Indians and Pakistanis normalizing relations...

It`s Pak-up time for ISI honchos
SURESH NAIR

TIMES NEWS NETWORK[ SATURDAY, MARCH 13, 2004 10:03:28 AM ]

The following is the transcript of a secretly taped conversation between the Chief of Pakistan’s Inter Services Intelligence (ISI) and his deputy, codenamed ISI Cheapo, in Lahore. They met to discuss the hoopla over the Indo-Pak cricket series and its impact on their covert activities. Now, this conversation may or may not be true. The point is that those who want the truth should read the classifieds instead.

ISI CHIEF: (Thumping the desk angrily) We’re going out of business! If both the countries decide to play cricket matches and run train and bus services, how the hell are we expected to do our job.

ISI CHEAPO: (Reading the newspaper) I agree with you, sir. Look at this report on the election hungama in India and this one about the IIM entrance exams and yet another one about the Telgi scam; If India decides to create its own chaos and confusion, what will we do? For years we fooled our leaders saying that those ISI mark on various Indian products were our work! Now we must do something to stay in business.

ISI CHIEF: (Opens a file) Here’s an instance from February 1999. At Eden Gardens, a controversial run-out decision of Sachin Tendulkar led to a near riot at the stadium.

ISI CHEAPO: Can you give me your brief on this, sir?

ISI CHIEF: Sorry, I can’t. I have only one brief. But for the moment, let’s concentrate on this incident and see if we can rake it up as an issue.

ISI CHEAPO : Great idea, sir.

ISI CHIEF: It was reportedly an accident. Sachin went for the third run and bumped into Shoaib Akhtar just as Nadeem Khan flung the ball from the mid-wicket boundary and struck the stumps. The baffled umpires couldn’t find Sachin’s bat on the ground at that precise moment, since it was stuck between Shoaib’s legs, who screamed in agony and jumped, thus taking the bat even further away from the ground.
The two umpires lifted their index finger and turned to the third umpire, who also lifted his finger, though many feel that when a finger is lifted, it can mean several different things; depending on which finger is lifted. But in cricket, it can mean only thing; and that’s YOU ARE OUT. However, the 90,000 spectators thought otherwise and resorted to throwing water bottles and oranges.

And they didn’t stop until Sachin took a round of the stadium and thanked them for their generosity, though he was in no mood to eat oranges and would have preferred a Pepsi to mineral water.

ISI CHEAPO: From what I remember, the incident worried Prime Minister Vajpayee so much that he planned to fly down to Eden Gardens and threaten the spectators that if the game didn’t start immediately, he would close his eyes and recite a few of his poems! And if that didn’t work, there was a back-up plan to send Dev Anand, who would run across the ground, arms flailing and head tilted to one side, threatening to re-release his Awwal Number in the movie halls of Kolkata.

ISI CHIEF: I think we should remind our players and Musharraf about this incident.

ISI CHEAPO: We are also facing another threat from the heroines in Bollywood. My sources say that Rekha is planning an expedition to the Hunza Valley. She has discovered that there are more people who have hit a century age-wise than you will find in cricket record books. She’s just read The Lost Horizon, which was inspired by James Hilton’s visit to the valley in 1933.

ISI CHIEF: Ha, just tell her that ever since China blasted a route through the Himalayas, the Hunza golden oldies have discovered junk food and are now losing their lives to hypertension, heart attacks and cancer. Moral of the story: India or Pakistan, potato chips are a great leveller.

(NOTE FROM THE EDITOR TAHMED: Incidentally, it wasnt just China that blasted a route through the himalayas as the writer believes - Pakistanis did the rock blasting and road building on our side. This was a major effort on the Pakistani side as well, and as I recall, 20-30 Pakistani armymen lost their lives building the road and thus reopening the silk route.)

ISI CHEAPO: But what worries me more is Mahesh Bhatt’s definition of crossover cinema. He thinks Hollywood is a distant dream, so Bollywood might as well cross over and make films for Pakistan; which might be re-makes of our own films. And if you go by his logic, there is no paap in using Pakistani talent.

Great Game... Congratulations to India for a terrific performance. It was an absolute nail biter. Pakistan came very close to winning... India 349 for seven, and Pakistan 344 for 8... this match also has the record of the highest number of runs scored in a one day international over all, and Pakistan`s 344 for 8 is the highest any team has scored batting second. It was bad luck that Shoaib Malik was taken brilliantly by that amazing catch by Muhammad Kaif...

The whole thesis being put up by Rsidhar is based on his own demons ... after losing the game Pakistani and Indian players embraced while the Karachi crowd cheered for the Indian team... the most cheered person was Ganguly when he came up and spoke about how hospitable and amazing Pakistan has been to them over all...

`` cricket is perhaps the only sport where Pak can hope to defeat India (India today is way better than Pak in Hockey). ``


Let us keep such mindless bigotry out of sport please for god`s sake! For Rsidhar`s benefit.... Pakistan beat India 3-2 in the Olympic Qualifiers for 3-4th place playoffs only 2 hours ago.

Let us pay tribute to the great sportsmen of both countries... and let us congratulate both countries on their `Narrow` victories in both competitions....

May the BEST team win.

-YLH

Great Game... Congratulations to India for a terrific performance. It was an absolute nail biter. Pakistan came very close to winning... India 349 for seven, and Pakistan 344 for 8... this match also has the record of the highest number of runs scored in a one day international over all, and Pakistan`s 344 for 8 is the highest any team has scored batting second. It was bad luck that Shoaib Malik was taken brilliantly by that amazing catch by Muhammad Kaif...

The whole thesis being put up by Rsidhar is based on his own demons ... after losing the game Pakistani and Indian players embraced while the Karachi crowd cheered for the Indian team... the most cheered person was Ganguly when he came up and spoke about how hospitable and amazing Pakistan has been to them over all...

`` cricket is perhaps the only sport where Pak can hope to defeat India (India today is way better than Pak in Hockey). ``


Let us keep such mindless bigotry out of sport please for god`s sake! For Rsidhar`s benefit.... Pakistan beat India 3-2 in the Olympic Qualifiers for 3-4th place playoffs only 2 hours ago.

Let us pay tribute to the great sportsmen of both countries... and let us congratulate both countries on their `Narrow` victories in both competitions....

May the BEST team win.

-YLH

......... jesse owens won in berlin

......... now that pakistan has lost whatever little dignity it had to start with, can we go back to shelling across the loc instead of persisting with this folly that is sure to result in further humiliation ............

............. i tell you guys, it is not good for the psyche of our nation to be battered all around the wicket by madrasis, tamilians and telgu types .............it will stunt the growth of our children, create more hostility, make them angry and drive them into madrassas to pore over the book that tahmed claims holds all the answers ............ what i don`t understand is that if god is on our side, why couldn`t we score 24 measley runs off 18 balls !...........you know why?............ because we are not true muslims - we don`t pray enough and eat during ramadhan and because imran khan married a jewess .............imagine how things would have turned out if he had married kazi hussain`s hairy daughter instead of a bimbo with billions ....................hazrat khizer himself would have showed up to help the home team like he did in 1965...............

............ i call upon the gallant people of lahore, the zinda-dilan-i-lahore, to boycott the next match and send the horrible hindoos and their shameless muslim lackeys packing over the border ............. we have had enough of this nonsense ......... let`s get back to the game in kashmir where we were winning (or so they say)............it is frightening to think that jessse owens won in berlin and the us went on to win the war .............


pakistan zindabad!
hindustan murdabad!

All this cricket is superficial....who cares whether India wins or loses in cricket.

The real game begins in late April, when the snow melts in Kashmir,
and we see if Mushy lets his jehadis loose again in Kashmir
to infiltrate and kill kafirs.

............hang the nazim !

........... as soon as the homood-ur-rehman report is published, we should set up a commission to investigate the debacle in karachi ..........20 no-balls and 10 wide balls cannot be a coincidence - i smell a conspiracy by the paki pacemen who made a contract with hanuman`s high priest! ............. just imagine, just six less byes and we could have said bye bye to ganguly`s gang which would have taken the next plane to tamil nadu complaining about the umpire and cross-border terrorism ............i think we should put shoaib akhtar on trial before he dies on us like that other traitor, tiger niazi ............

....... i will bet you a dollar to a gefilte fish sandwich that zaheer kahn is an israeli agent !............ what kind of muslim would destroy the ummah like he did ............ yazid, kahin ka !...............

............ but never mind ......... islam zinda hota hai har karachi kay bad .............. i still maintain we should forget about this cricket business and go back to raping and pillaging like our ancestor mahmud ghazni ............. this is killing me !.........

................. but maybe, just maybe, there is a silver lining to this dark cloud - remember the football match that led to a good war between honduras and salvador ?!!!....................what we need is to import some manchester united fans to the next game to run onto the field and chase these... these banias all the way from pindi to wagha !............. you know what the problem is? .......... no beer!...... yes sir, if they had beer at the karachi stadium we would not have to live through this ignomy - the fans would have taken care of the krealites around the 48th over !............. this is what happens when you let god run your cricket board and the jamaatias run the city!............. let`s hang the jamaati nazim !.......... let`s hang someone, anyone !..................


javed miandad murdabad!
shoaib akhtar murdabad!
ylh murdabad! (for being a whoos and changing his name to manto)

Excellent match.

Well worth the ticket price ($7 at a local desi club - it included three pieces of stale chicken, from which I have yet to recover and a cup of good desi tea). I cannot believe Pakistan almost chased 350. I think psychologically this will favor Pakistan. Since India actually bowled as well as they could have. While Pakistani bowlers bowled very poorly. Yet the match was still close.

Pakistan should not, bowl aggresively, and go for wickets, in the ODIs, since the Indian batsmen are too good, on these pitches, and will just get huge scores. Pakistan should concentrate on damage control, and try to limit the target to around 275. I think the Pakistani batsmen should be able to chase that comfortably.

Shoaib or Sami should have been sent in to bat in place of Rana Naveed. And Saqlain should have been in Rana`s place, to begin with. I think Rana Sahib may have played the last match of his life.........

The whole atmosphere at the match was excellent. Karachi cricket crowd is historically known as the most ill-behaved crowd in Pakistan (while Lahore crowd is known as the best). Yet they were very sporting.

In fact, I would have to say I was, ``overwhelmed`` by the behavior of the Karachi crowd. Maybe I have been too brainwashed by the Lahori press and local govt. Speaking of, ``overwhelmed,`` we need to add two more Indians who have been, ``overwhelmed`` by the treatment they have received in Pakistan. One is Sanjay Manjrekar (very good announcer), and the other is Sauruv Ganguly (a batsman, whose skills have significantly declined in comparison to other Indian batsman). Another few million Indian fans watching TV in India, were probably, ``overwhelmed,`` also. They must have been surprised to see that Pakistani don`t look like the devil and are not out to get every Indian they see.

Inzamam was under much more tension facing the questions from Ian Chappel, in English, than in facing the bowling.

P.S. Why did Priyanka Gandhi`s husband look so bored, throughout the match? As well as Priyanka herself and her brother? Her husband looked like his mother-in-law had forced him to attend the match, and seemed to waiting anxiously for it to be over. No wonder Congress is losing popularity in India. There top leadership and their families are too uptight to even enjoy a classic cricket match, on such a big occassion.

I suggest Shahrukh Khan and Ashwariya Rai should be sent in immediately to replace Priyanka and Rahul. They are much more in demand in Pakistan. And Laloo should be sent to replace the husband........

Anyways, the whole occassion could not have been scripted better. Congratulations to India for winning. Though I think the Indian think-tank will be a bit worried after this match, since they must be trying to figure out how such a high total was chased (twice).......

HamidM2,
I`m enjoying your commentary more than these kirkaat fundoos. Thank you for great laughs.

Now please go and tell your wife you love her. : )

And one more thing.. under the cover of atish-bazi from the balle-baz, while everybody is busy watching the matches, the Americans have begun their operation taliban in the earnest. Smart move...

An excellent match with an even better atmosphere. That was refreshing, lets keep it that way guys.

Satyamvada #39

I guess you are named against some god, but why such pessimism mate, chill out and for a second just try to atleast be peaceful within yourself.

I think as ganguly aptly said, the winner was cricket, i would like to add to this, the winners were both Pakistanis and Indians, in avoiding the deathtrap of nationalist anger and for once enjoying a game of cricket for what it is meant to be, a game of cricket.

For the rest, in the most politest of sense to my indian counterparts, we will kick your a$$ in the next match once we get the right ballers. :)

Peace

i told you that nehra is a good dust-bowler, and inzy would lose weight..didn`t think it would be while running between the wickets. i think he will play 1 down for future Mumbai Munnabhais (owner Mota bhai of Kamathipura/Dubai, asian cirkit leauge franchise). Balaji should start eating mutton (he bowled well, but can be really good), and tendulkar should immediately start praising Aloo, so that he get back on the halwa. Joseph John needs to taken to a revival meeting and put a fear of fire and brimstones so that he stops playing well for the trans-indus hordes. Karachi crowd was 99% burger (and some Pav-Bhajis from india). Pakistani team looks have really gone down.. they look like poor Iraqi chaiwallas. Zaheer and Pathan are definately from tel-aviv...is Md. Kaif related to Katrina Kaif? Ganguly was impressive that he did not do the usual shameful immitation of the ``scream`` against the short ball.

Was the greatest commentator in living history Navjot Sidhu part of the commentary team?

re: the first ODI in Karachi
I for one agree with the Chowk Marshal. Pak played superbly. I did not think Pak would be able to chase that kind of a total. This only means that Pak now has good bowlers and batsmen. India would have to work on its bowling, otherwise they will be whipped in Rawalpindi.

Political masters in both countries are using Cricket as a way of stirring the public opinion in favor of a ``political consensus`` on Kashmir. I believe a compromise has already been made and will be revealed when the public opinion is favorable. Meanwhile the US Army is busy hunting for Osama (or perhaps they have him already and are waiting for the right moment to reveal this fact).
In any case, we are in for interesting times.
Sridhar

Pakistanis can hold your heads up high your boys played brilliantly...I believe the combined score was the highest in one day history (693)...What a start to the series....you will taste victory soon I am sure of it...Well done to all the players!!

Romair
//...They must have been surprised to see that Pakistani don`t look like the devil and are not out to get every Indian they see...//

Yeah - we will see about that when the Jihad donation boxes stop ringing with cash donated for killing hindus in Kashmir and elsewhere.

For now - let`s just focus on cricket. This was an good game. But Ganguly was a fool to allow Aloo almost catch up with the huge total. May be he should keep some chicken tikka in his pocket and dangle it as soon as Aloo starts running.

But from look of things - I think Aloo is going to have the last laugh. Indians are pathetic in bowling.