Untitled

hehehe loved it!

NFP u rock!

Re: # 31
And then, there is punctuation to be taken care of, Mr./Ms.(?) Nooralain. Totally agree with you, when you say, its a torture to go through otherwise nicely written articles, but so very wrongly spelt.
Three cheers. Lets unite and form a front against all those who use wrong English.
Tariq`s the name.

# 25 taqat-e-parvaaz
I smoke weed solely to weed out unwanted hair like you. Look at you. You look like a raving Neanderthal let loose in Raiwind.

is that so asswipe? i go to an ivy league school. wanna talk now? i doubt you could say the same for yourself you eunach. i will not allow the insulting of religious scholars by crazy hashish smokers.

Just a thought .... doesn`t Ferhat Hashmi belong to the hardline sect where even naat recitation is haram.

are we adding insult to injury???

bon jovi?

hey the reason i m replying is i wanted to be no.50 on this lisy...YIPee!!! naah just playin with ya, i liked the undertones of sarcasm in this topic its just like a dash of pepper coffee in a vanilla ice cream... i mean i being an indian wont know what u ppl like and dislike but seriously i really appreciate one common factor between me and the author of this script is the mutual disrespect for the balaji telefilm`s SINDOOR BRIGADE, for the uninitiated:- the plethora of teleserials which start with the letter `K`, u know the ones which have beautiful ladies wearing designer suits & saris and doing acts which even the terrorists fear to do , and that too with panache....so i was wondering if all this goes on in both of our worlds and though to some extent we have the same grudge against life and world( i might have more than u), what the heck are we both waiting for, lets ditch our respective heads of the state and meet each other up and become pals and buddys( i forgot, the head of the state controls our respective VISAS)...hell anyway u come over to my place and under the moonlit starry sky over a barbeque and with some rock music and ghazals i might get my eyes welled up, when u say something about pakistan and i give u a true tour of india. like bon jovi said ``even if u dont love me lie to me maybe thats just one thing i believe``.

Yup.Requires some serious potty training. But I still love him, though. However..umm..let`s forget that big hug for a while, okay? Hunk.

Echoboom has a colostomy bag and suffers anal and urethral incontinence. It is all he can do to rail against the cruelty of the world and all the super people who can walk without leaving a trail from their trouser leg ie: everybody else.

Good luck, grandad, I hope the nurse cleans out your potty soon.

;-)

trashman. . .has he really confused, or actually added to the `revelation` of echoboomshakalaka`s `true` self? who knows?

Lol @ NFP. Aikh aur thapar. Bhai echo, kutch tho sheram kero.
nooralain, I totally agree with you. But what I meant was that such sad asses like echoboom actually like this sort of attention. Paracha`s ways of handling such idiots is I think better. He has totally confused this idiot.

But chaudery echo, I love you. Especially that boom of yours. Come, come lover, give baaghi a big hug. *smooooooch!*

ah. . .interesting that one should resort to punjabi to throw what he thinks are insults. . .how can one respond except to invoke the malika-e-besharam oops i meant tarannum: `jadoN holay holay lainda mera naa. . .`

warlus:
and what`s all this `bout the reds vs. the greens? i am black and orange. .kindly remember that next time. mucho obliged!

trashman,
you are right. . .i do prefer how nfp treats these attacks over how i treat them. . .but i don`t know how often you read echoboom`s insults which are geared towards quite a few of us. .sometimes one gets sick of hearing them, even one who isn`t necessarily affected by them personally.

i apologize for taking the literary, emotional way out. .as for echoboom. .instant karma`s gonna get him.

: )

DafaaN ho Oye laan`tee. NehRRay vee naa aaeN oye. You paleed pig. Chrsee Khusray.

Ref: 39
LOLL @ NFP! Thapar ho tho aisa ho. Echoboom, time for you to make the exit. And nooralain why do you even bother with sad asses like echoboom. I think NFP handles such idiots exactly the way they should be tackled. A swift, soft punch but which is harder than Beckam`s corner kick.

My, my, yet another Paracha article generating a vicious battle between the Reds and the Greens. I`m sure he enjoys it very much. Btw, great article Mr. Paracha and the Pop Quiz was pretty hilarious too. More wanted.

echoboom
You`re quite a turn-on, really. Come here and give me a hug. I love you.

echoboom:

i will say this to you for the last time. .because i being one of the westernized scum you delight on ridiculing on a regular basis, am frankly sick and tired of reading your focked up bakwaas everywhere you feel you have the right to offer your opinion.

i don`t take offence at being called a sharaabi. alcoholism is a disease. . .a disease that doesn`t need to be ridiculed. your disease is that you are blind even when you feel that you have sight. there are way too many logs in your eyes. . .you as such a `good muslim` hai na, would not understand my reference perhaps, but there it is.

i do question this whole notion of your calling some of us googoochatoers and scum and ridiculing us for being slaves to the west. .and whatever. and i ask you again. .why shouldn`t anyone question or respond to the trash you utter every single time? and kindly remind all of us again. .where do you live? you live in toronto, don`t you? last i heard, toronto was still in the west. whose bootpolish have you been licking as of late (or ass i should say)? do you have a wife? i pity her even more than i pity you.

i shouldn`t question your mode of existence, as you question ours. i pity it. i truly do. because it`s because of people like you with attitudes like yours that the world is as focked up a place as it is.

and chowk editors, feel free to remove this if you please. .as it is, you let garbage worse than this remain.

taqat-e-parvaaz:

ALWAYS call these bastards ( & their supporters) Bhangis, Charsees, sharabees and haraam-karees etc. [such words have the sting].

It REALLY REALLY hurts them. You`ll soon see.

---

See?
Never use westernised fashionable labels for the ones who gloat about their deviancies. Do everything so that they are unable to de-stigmatise their deviancies and assuage their guilt.

Again:
The Bhangis, haraamkaars, sharaabis, chursees must be ridiculed. If they try not to seek glamour in such behaviour they should be pitied and sent to rehabilitation centers.

Only Bhangees and chursees et al will take offence to this and again respond!

echoboom,
do tell, has someone made you the grand inquisitor or the great judge? calling us bastards and bhangis, sharaabis, whatthehellever isn`t going to really really hurt us. but you really do need to keep looking at yourself in the mirror because you may not be aware of it right now, but you really do look like someone whose lips have actually become the crack of your ass. it must be truly painful moving around with all those looking at the ass for a face.
no wonder all that drips from you at a constant rate is crap. pathetic and pitiable.

i can`t speak for the rest of the sharabees and bhangis, but as nadeem said, it`s amazing that you found us so bloody quickly. perhaps it`s time for you to come out of the closet. .come clean echoboom. . restore your face with katta hua naak et al back to yourself. because your booms are getting hollower by the nanosecond and the echo reverberates to no one but you.

#25 by taqat-e-parvaaz

Never refer to such scum as weedsmoker. Instead of taking that as an insult they suddenly get that foreignish feeling.

ALWAYS call these bastards ( & their supporters) Bhangis, Charsees, sharabees and haraam-karees etc. [such words have the sting].

It REALLY REALLY hurts them. You`ll soon see.

nadeem,
godness grassass you are coracked. .mai mishtake in denaing the rispeckt of said peeople. vat vas i theenking!? i am vairy much quick to judje. thees ees laik a speeling naitmaire for me. it must finis.
n~

COOL HAND (COLD HEAD) LUKE
ABAYE GADHAYE, when i said Paracha for Prozac, it was in line of having a slogan which all polititians do when running a campagin.
BTW, can i also point out that people are being quite petty and pointing out ridiculous details like spelling errors! ..its more important to reflect on content....it stems from insecurities, perhaps feeling superior on pointless details, since you arent bright enough to tackle real issues! He`s not giving the SAT`s so score him on what matters !

No, nooralain. Ammna is g8 2 point out the spellung mistake mutter ... I mean matter. u have 2 (sometimes 3) respect her opinion just like I respuked midihash`s and just like taqat-e-islami respects ur`s. Now, did I get the pronunciasiontinatal right, Ammna? ur (is this the right spelling?) commrants r always welcumed.

my god, someone is finally pointing out spelling errors. . .wah! why has it taken so bloody long?

and did someone point out that it is you and not u? and you`re and not u`re? you have no idea how lazy and incoherent that looks to spelling bee snobs like me. . .i`m sure you pronounce that correctly as well.

ticket katao, line banao. .midihash is already at the front of the line.

baaghiraja. . .#28
you mean against the onions, and the potatoes, and the mutton?

i`m sure u regret having posted this incoherent crap.. fine ure boozing n all but try to be a bit discreet about it.. and by the way, its AL PACINO, we all do know u pronouce it right...

#27 nooralain
``what does qazi hussain advocate for `disrespectful` wives, or `disobedient` women? now that`s the question. ``

An all out Jihad. In the kitchen.

#26 midihash
No midihash. Look (nay, feel carefully). The kantay-daar-pole is an article called Untitled and it is in YOUR butt, twisting and turning. I mean, that`s how bad you are sounding. Time you shut it up. The arse. That`s where you`re speaking from, right? Happy zipping.

# 25 taqat-e-parvaaz
I smoke weed solely to weed out unwanted hair like you. Look at you. You look like a raving Neanderthal let loose in Raiwind.

there are healing properties to smoking weed. . .not an insult to be called a weedsmoker. but what does qazi hussain advocate for `disrespectful` wives, or `disobedient` women? now that`s the question.

When ever has Qazi Hussain advocated flogging disobedient women?? Ever? Get your facts straight Paracha. Damn weedsmoker.

NFP, do us a favour:
Extract that kaante-daar pole out of your arse and lighten the F* up.

Good stuff NFP, rocking again aye? Kalaji it should actually be Paracha NEEDS Prozac.
Paracha you`re really after Walls these days, so I think Pepsi and Coke should take a sigh of relief. The Quiz was good too, especially Bilal = Pee Vee Hermin.

A perfrct making of a future politician. Must have slogan as: PARACHA FOR PROZAC...!

this stuff is a great read and has a soothing effect :) most of the stuff sponsored by multi-nationals is utter garbage and deserves the sarcasm/treatment meted out in the piece.

#20

Dude! I do read bandbaja. It rocks!!! (my feeble attempt at advertising sans profit) I was trying to make a whole different point altogether, and it was done in jest.

Thanks for the information though.

That `Pop Quiz` was published by bandbaja.com. It`s no peek Inqilaabi, it`s there on April`s issue of the site along with another NFP article.

#17
Don`t bother with the names, soundmeister . As long as you got the game. :)

This would have been funnier if I got the references. Except the rock stars, don`t recognise any of the names :(((

Well done Peracha saheb on writing yet another great piece of satire.
Cipram, I did not understand your point? What has all what you have said got to do with all what Peracha has written?

# echoboom:
~bhangis, charsis, sharabees, zanees, lootees, incestors of the world UNITE!--you have nothing to lose, you are already lost. ~

Glad you found us here. Already?

=== Interact Filtered ===
view this users filtered interacts

#12

well goodness gracious me. i`m sure that some of us would rather be `lost` than be `found` as you so clearly appear to be. as it is some of us who are lost make a whole lot more sense than you do. and if some of us do go to another hell beyond the one we already live in, my god, i hope we don`t run into you. that would be like majorly raining on our parade.

and now temporal has gone and done it. . i guess there`s no need to (re)publish the quiz here if we`ve seen it already. thanks for the early peek (pun intended)

bhangis, charsis, sharabees, zanees, lootees, incestors of the world UNITE!--you have nothing to lose, you are already lost.

=== Interact Filtered ===
view this users filtered interacts

na diem..er..cough..cough...f;)....that was ;)...cough....pa..cough racha...cough ...Untitled is a peace of unmitigated trash. Not!..ahem..cough...cough...patient expires...ahem...not!...gets up...coughs...but retracts not;)...don`t quit your day job yet...cough...ahem...cough...you do have one...donchya?...

now this is stuff of classics!...cough...is that your day job?...cough..if it is ..cough cough....

---

The Pop Quiz

By Nadeem Farooq Paracha

1. When and where were the Vital Signs formed?

a) Summer, Karachi, 1987
b) Moharram, Yemen, 1887
c) Cola, Pepsi, 300ml

2. What famous Indian singer does Ali Zafar copy?

a) Asha Bhosle Ali Khan
b) Allama Kishore
c) Adnan Sami Prasad

3: Who is Ali Azmat`s hair stylist?

a) Vaneeza`s mom
b) Tariq Amin`s nurse
c) Pooja Bhatt`s cook

4: Why did Najam Shiraz start to recite naats?

a) Sold his instruments to buy a lifetime supply of Tapal Danedar
b) Wanted to attract a sponsorship deal from Mecca Cola
c) Needed a reason to try out his new shirvanee on TV

5: Who design`s Salman Ahmed`s stage attire?

a) Amir Adnan`s maid
b) Late Sultan Rahi`s dhoti designer
c) Kafil Bhai Gotkiwallay

6: What is Fuzon?

a) A bubblegum brand
b) A bubblegum band
c) A bubblegum band singing about a bubblegum brand

7: What was Nawaz Sharif`s secret underground band?

a) Boney-(N)
b) AC/Desi
c) [EP] Empty Paradigm

8: What is Junoon`s real name?

a) Cokeoon
b) The Salman Hendrix Experience
c) Brian Who?

9: It was realized that Bush was lying about WMDs in Iraq after he spoke about his favorite instrument, which was ...

a) Air guitar
b) Imaginary flute
c) His dad`s old tennis racquet which he insisted was a Gibson six-string bass

10: Why did the Taliban ban music in Afghanistan?

a) It drowned the sweet sound of gunfire
b) It encouraged shaving among men
c) It made Osama want to wear his old `70s bellbottoms

11: What is Israeli PM, Ariel Sharon`s favorite album?

a) Reign of Blood: Slayer
b) Burp Kamph: A Compilation Of Old Nazi Beer Songs
c) The new Vanilla Coke jingle

12: What is the name of Abrar-ul-Haq`s planned hospital?

a) The Billo Khanum Memorial Hospital
b) The Preeto Khanum Maternity Hospital
c) The Jat Khanum Mental Hospital

13: What was the name of Noori`s unreleased song about his young Pakistani rock/pop fans?

a) Suno Kay Dumb Hain Jawaan
b) Suno Kay Numb Hain Jawan
c) Suno Kay Hum Hain Dumb

14: Who was Bilal Maqsood`s latest hair -cut inspired by?

a) Pee Wee Herman
b) Johnny Rotten`s conformist son
c) Cyndi Lauper

Answers on Page 177. But don`t bother. They`re all correct.

#7
If that`s what he`s inhaling, then I don`t mind inhaling some too. Must tell my retro-hippe friends here they must visit Karachi. Waisey NFP, I love the way you use the same single knife to rip through fashion models, mullahs, pop stars, capitalists, multinationals, politicians, so on and so forth. Toxic.

=== Interact Filtered ===
view this users filtered interacts

#6

Probably as long as he inhales that toxic air in Karachi.

yes, the fashion explosion in pakistan is a wonderful thing. i once had a very interesting (cough) conversation in the humanitarian benefits of fashion frenzy. a serious subject indeed (cough, cough)

Sarcasm galore. How long can you keep spiting that venom, Paracha?

as i was reading this, i was thinking about this piece of artwork that i saw here at a cafe. i was thinking of this poster size drawing of a little boy who looks like he could be from one of those `third world countries` looking somewhat desolate, was that grime on his t-shirt or an interesting design? his face is drawn on what looks like one or more of those coca-cola cartons put together, or perhaps just a poster advertising the beverage. how about that for a billboard? naaaah. : )

i`m afraid the cough may linger just a while longer nadeem! undoubtedly your spelling errors are going to be pointed out over the biting delivery (as i just did!). i had to chuckle coughingly a few times. `grandma so old with ARY gold. .` that was chokingly amusing.

best,
n~

And how can one forget the cover of Strings` ``Chhaey Chhaey`` featuring Reema for that brilliant Pepsi ad. I am sure all fans are eagerly waiting for a reissue of ``Dhaani`` with that stunning track.

Winning an Oscar now doesn`t require one to have acting skills. just use a lot of makeup and a few daring makeovers- and voila! win your oscar.
i wonder if they have such a requirement/criterion for Lux awards?
maybe they don`t need to!
three cheers for khahani ghar ghar kee!

I didnt understand the Islamic references but I enjoyed the sarcasm. Write some more of your short story/sketches dude.

:-)