The Palate’s Passionplay

ferzi:

...aisi koi baat nahiN...they are always on the fringes not the core...

bspnd

t

This reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George experiments with combining two of his greatest pleasures, food and sex. At first he does it furtively, sneaking big bites of a hamburger while still between the sheets but then he realises his partner is turned on by it too and the rest is well, pleasure unlimited, one assumes!

A little more research would have made it more interesting though...

Farzana, I belong to ``The Realists`` school of Chinese thought...I think we are talking about two different things and came from two different angles...but they may converge and we may agree to agree.

You are right...this is serious stuff and, as you say, has little relevance to the article at hand. Maybe some other time. You are very smart. Au revoir...

Dear Farzana:
I hope I have not fallen too much in your esteem. You and I both will in I`s eye if she reads this stuff. :-)

Dear dost-mittarji:

This morning I was talking with a friend and mentioned you. He wanted to know if you had interacted here...I said, ``No, no, he won`t.``

``Why? Is he very seedha?``

I said, ``Yes, and then he might not want to discuss such things on my board...``

Achha kiya koi bet nahin lagaya! And I hope ``wicked`` is meant to be a nice thing...

---

And just for fun, if anyone is interested, got this in the mail...

//The History of ``Giving the Finger`` . . . ``PLUCK YEW!``

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore be incapable
of fighting in the future.

This famous weapon was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as ``plucking the yew`` (or ``pluck yew``). Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, ``See, we can still pluck yew!

``PLUCK YEW!``

Since `pluck yew` is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodental fricative `F,` and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute are mistakenly thought to have something to do with an intimate encounter. It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as ``giving the bird.``

And yew thought yew knew everything.//

Dear Farzana:
``Imagine missing out on the redness of a tomato squirting in your face, the onions being unclothed endlessly, oysters in spasmodic anticipation, the asparagus erect and yet so pliable, and figs. What do I say about figs, so firm and soft, the colour of bruised skin, gently prised open to reveal a treasure glazed with possibilities.``

That`s some imagination! And it`s all still `saatvik bhoj`.

``So, is this all about nails, teeth, fingers and basic instincts? About egg yolks swimming in their whites, about the mango being massaged, bitten off, sucked, slivers running down the chin, about rice balls being scooped off banana leaves and rasam slurped off the arm?``

I am reminded of the Andhra guy who said that eating food with fork or spoon is like having sex with condom.

``But the only way I like my wine is when it is on me.``
If it means what I think it does, you ARE wicked!

#35 by godot:

This is serious stuff and I know has little relevance to the article. I said enlightenment comes often from a fantasy in response to your comment about the ``unenlightened`` escape. Creativity, love, bonding arise from the fulcrum of a fantasy. ``Knowing`` oneself can only make you `see` differently..and `knowing` others depends on this way of seeing. Or these ways of seeing, for fantasies are not static.

A fruit is a fruit...it is how one perceives it beyond its immediate purpose that makes for a fantasy and `knowing` oneself.
- - -
#38 by jang:

[It is very offensive to exclude mention of zeenat-milk-on-lingam scene from SSS from a discussion of sex and food. I hope that this is not self-sensorship.]

No, this was not self-censorship, but this would fit in my article on sex and religion published a while ago (gosh, this writer is truly deviant!). The problem is the lingam was of stone here...samjhey?

Do you think going through the gullies of Grant Road and asking for Mastram will be easy? The last time I was on D.N.Road riffling through some book that turned out to be `like that`, the Mallu guy asked, ``What you wanting meydum?`` I said, ``Research.``

``Ess, ess...teaching purpose, no?``

Anyway, this piece was written and published unvarnished a while ago and discovered by your friend Ali who asked me to pray ``JaltuJalaltu`` a few times to ward off all evil that resides in my mind...
- - -
temp:

[...then why is it that bhindi gosht has not been spottend here;)..]

Just reading that someone is hale and hearty can put any doctor out of business! But I do not agree he is a puritan...bas, apna-apna andaaz hai...

And yes, this is just for you apropos of something else...kuchh arsaa hua, pehli baar tha hum yahaan chhapey they, humein kahaa gaya tha, ``anyway, nice to see you on chowk, i think you`ll be a much bigger hit here than you are in bombay``...ab issee mehfil mein aaye hue hai yeh log...aur aap hai jo...khair...

No love-shove now:(
F

Yap!yap!! yap!!! Bich! Bich!! Bich!!!
Mouth runs like Niagra falls!!!

Once a thing is in public domain, it is in public domain. Nobody owns this or any thread!

FV,

It is very offensive to exclude mention of zeenat-milk-on-lingam scene from SSS from a discussion of sex and food. I hope that this is not self-sensorship.

Some wicked stuff has been written by indians. One Mr. Chakradhar Swami in 12-th century deccan wrote a treatise on how to eat a mango. This is amazing considering most surviving lit is about spirituality and stuff like that.

And FV, please try to get hindi books by this bihari writer Mastram (i think it is a pseudonym, but there is nothing pseudo about content, its authentic ganga-kinare stuff). He has used every imaginable fruit in unimaginable ways in his books. No, you wont find his books in Nalanda or Strand book stall, you may have to scour the back-alleys of grant road. But you will be rewarded.

And then is the pale immitator Khushwant Singh..his has a story about a chunky kashmiri woman cooking rogan josh for him followed by some blubbery sex.

Jhumpa L also has done a good job of mixing food and (much less descriptive) sex in her interpretations book about a philandering indian guy from boston sub going out for jogs on
the charles and having meals in the city. Since that book, many indian suburban men have stopped jogging..

This article has very negative impacts on a norml healthy person. The writer does a good job instigating some deviant thoughts in the minds of the reader. I had painted a nice picture of the writer in my head before I read this article. Now all I can imagine is a wrinkled fig.

A possible episode of a normal couple after reading this article:

Man: What are you doing going around in the house only wearing an apron?
Woman: I have some vegetable soup ready and a bottle of champagne in the fridge too!
Man: Not again that curry making in bed
Woman: Why?
Man: On my way home, I stopped at the orchard of Meera bai and I had couple of fresh oranges there.
Woman: What about me?
Man: Don`t you have any asparagus left in the fridge?

The artcile is a good read for deviant minds of a fetish website. I bet she can be a a 5 star porno writer there!

PZ ...

... and all this time I thought fiminists just didn`t know how ... or perhaps I spent my more youthful days chasing the wrong ones ... oh well ...

ferzi:

...then why is it that bhindi gosht has not been spottend here;)...

lve

t

Farzana, 33

“Enlightenment often comes with a fantasy.”

True enlightenment comes from “knowing” oneself, not from a fantasy (I had to put “knowing” in quotes because that’s the tricky part).

“how do you know what I might like?”

I know what you like...``knowing`` others comes easy to me...I must add, however, that you are fairly complex and a lot more subtle than most people at Chowk.

In #33, when I said, ``As for the other comments, go stuff it... ``, it was in response to 22.

1. This board is not about India and the BJP...those who wish to discuss this subject, I have an article that is still alive and kicking...please post there...
2. It might help if one followed some decency in addressing writers...I do not know who you are, therefore think twice before jumping to conclusions about someone being an amateur. Also, logically, it is not a very intelligent thing to interact on such a person`s boards.
- - -

#12 by nazarhayatkhan:

[A little dark, a little food, a little drink, a little music - that is all that is required to leave this world and float into that nothingess.]

Yes, life is about little things. Talking about transgressing all boundaries...this Indian friend of mine was working in Dubai and being wooed by an Arab.. but the music was a problem: she said everytime she felt all mushy about some ghazal, he had that blank look on his face because he could not understand a word. They stuck to good food!

[I find that slight shiver on the Jelly very sexy]

Hmmm...Have you tried it with a dollop of thick cream?
- - -
#16 by godot:

[Fantasies are not an effort. They are easy. They are a comfort. It’s a dream world...it’s the world where the unenlightened escape to and live in.]

I object. Enlightenment often comes with a fantasy. The escape route does lead to a destination. Reality as most people wish to live it is not the best option. For some of us life is indeed what we imagine it to be, which is why we can embellish it so...

I have seen `A Clockwork Orange`, which is why that boo-boo I made was silly...about `Like water..` how do you know what I might like???;)
- - -
#21 by semipreciousme:
[...never shall i look at asparagus the same way again...]

...but it still tastes the same!
- - -
#20 by hamidm2:

You had better like it or else a poem is on the way....! Wonder why men do not like okra and women do...and I did mention whipped cream, with chocolate, though...and I do not understand how smooth skin is compared with butter; butter is greasy; I prefer the peaches-and-cream comparison.

Among fruits, the kiwi skin does have a nice sensual downy feel and the scent of guavas is mmm...

You must not underestimate the Hyderabadis...the Andhra libido is humungous. And the rasam has all sorts of things in it to transport you to hell. About licking it off the arm, it is yuck if the person does it to himself/herself!
- - -

Re. (#22):
[The writer has a deviant mind.]

Indeed, she does...and next time any of you talk of doe eyes, cherry lips, breasts like firm apples, think of the writer.

Btw, you can eat five small meals in a day (and add a few drinks to it), you can have a fine dining experience for a couple of hours and talk, listen to music, look at people other than the one you are with, change your choice of food, and even in the most ordinary of meals, you can have a quick bite and doze off later without being given dirty looks (and women feel sleepy too)...

As for the other comments, go stuff it...

temp:

The earlier response was rushed...re. your comment, ``what will our resident maulana aamir puritanabadi will have to say here!...bearing in mind what he gushed forth on a (comparatively) innocuous short story the other day;)``...I have it on good authority that he does not mind bhindi if it is coupled with gosht! Besides, he is always kind to me...aur iss article mein burra hai kya? Some people burp after eating...some go beyond...

Love,
F

..................and i had thought myself foolish whenever i got this wierd feeling while cooking sausages.............

rsaxena,

...... do i need to point out that the author is talking about sex, a subject that obviously is not your core competency, and not about the politics or economy of india ............. unless, of course, you are trying to show a correlation between economic activity and sexual activity ............

Saminasha

Nope. No delusions. My jokes and capabilities in other departments are both grandiose.

:-D

anil:

as the author has brilliantly articulated so many times, india is just a rogue nation run by hindu nazis out to get muslims and other minorities....furthermore, it does not have a suave leader like the general in the country to the west...this is a very serious problem...the current indian leader does not even own a double-breasted suit....and india is far behind china in having a compassionate, loving, and sensitive government....

..oh and before you get excited about reports on the indian economy in the western media, keep in mind that the indian government has been pushing out false GDP numbers and propoganda....in fact, microsoft and GE and IBM have not invested a penny in india...it is all lies put out to trick people...

good day

pz,

You apparently suffer from grandiose delusions of your capabilities joke wise and in other depts.

#24
alas indeed! you must speak from experience. hope the jail experience wasn`t too miserable for you!

HP sahib, aur bhi hain rahatein khhaane ko. . .

adios.

That`s right Norralain! deviant minds have more fun, either ALONE or in JAIL.

There are some people who can go without food for several days to have that special look in the eyes of their partner. That tenth of a second means eternity to them. Of course! some people never get to see that look in their lives and would never know, Alas!

Poster # 23

You are an Amateur like the writer. So get out from the MIDDLE or these guys will EAT you!!!!

deviant minds have more fun!!! oh, and i`ve stopped looking at hot dogs and bananas, and cucumbers as hot dogs, bananas and cucumbers for quite a while now. . .and what pray tell is `the real sex`??? would that be something that men are also desperate to have, even if it is for ten seconds?!?

ah yes. . .i will settle for food. . .and long hot showers. . alone. *wicked grin*

...never shall i look at asparagus the same way again...

The writer has a deviant mind. She sounds so desperate for love that she wont leave the food alone. Who would think ``Food is sexy, often sexier than sex itself`` ; Either someone who has not experienced the real sex, someone having a nonexistant sexual life or someone who believes in fetishism. With her recent postings, the writer deserves an award for her atypical wicked imagination!

fv,

............ of course i loved it - you are one wicked woman and may god bless you in your attempt to bring a little sanity to this otherwise ghastly world .......... nobody, not even urstruly, can deny the universal appeal of sex and food ... although i do have a problem with okra and potatoes as sensual objects - specially after what happened to poor john bobbit and the famine in ireland................ lobsters and asparagus and anything else you can dip in butter is fine - butter, makhan, is definitely sexy ......... in punjabi shairee the beloved`s smooth skin is often compared to butter.............. i am surprised you didn`t mention strawberrys and whipped cream - in the civilized world whipped cream is used for all kinds of naughty rituals .................... and did you know that some very talented people can plop a cherry in their mouth and tie a knot in the stem with their tongue?.......... astaghfirullah!... or should we say, mashallah!

saminasha

LoL I knew you would be offended by that joke I am so glad it scraped your raw nerves.

Try and come back with something funny, if not dont bother.

;-)

#2

another relevant film: Tampopo (japanese).. here the whole film is about noodles (and sex)

Dear rsaxena (#15):

Let us keep qualifiers like ``you silly man`` out.

Indian fabric is quite resilient and inclusive of all Indians, and there is no need to look at the benevolency of any country, let alone the country to the west, to decide policies.

India is destined to achieve its place in the international scene, including, political, and economic.

India must compete with China, but on its own terms with Advantage India well defined and sharpened. As I remember turtles also win races, so long as the turtle remains on course. Advantage India is its system that will keep on producing - world class talent like yourself. Advantage India is crucial in service economy. For the next 25 years (= a generation), India will have a competitive advanage to build itself, just as China has built a powerhouse in manufacturing. Producer base is shifting to Asia, be it manufacturing or producing world class service. India and China also have ability to create consumer base as well. Thus after a while would not have to rely on the west`s consumer base. Although it will cooperate on technology and other service sectors.

BTW, I also feel that India must offer incentives and attract world class talent from neighbors across its western frontiers, so that they rely on Indian engine to realize their personal success through Indian dream. India, like the U.S. from Canada, has the system to be become such a magnate. That would obviously leave mullahs and militarywalas among the western neighbors to fight their testasterones out. Shoab Akhtar is coming to India for a commercial. India needs to ensure that it benefits from the brain drain and talent to increase productivity and prosperity at large, and that it always contain the mullah and militarywala to the other side of the western borders. India should not complain, and talent like yourselves should participate in making Indian dream bigger and better.

You have read the history of the sub-continent, adn realize, this indeed has happened several times in the past. The best and brightest came to India from land afar, whereas mullahs and militarywala (fuedals) remained in those parts to fight. And ocassionally, these mullahs and militarywalas came down to plunder and go back to their fighting across the western borders. This plundering must not happen again, but some of the ``spoils`` out of the necessity must be allocated for mullah-militarywalas to ensure peace dividends.

Anil

Farzana,

Fantasies may take up too much time, but the world lives on it. If it weren’t for fantasies, how else would one explain Hitler and Kosovo? Fantasies are not an effort. They are easy. They are a comfort. It’s a dream world...it’s the world where the unenlightened escape to and live in.

I would not have recommended “Like Water for Chocolate” to you if I didn’t think you’d like it. You should also see Stanley Kubrick’s “A Clockwork Orange” when you get a chance. It’s a great movie...the book is even better.

OOOH HELL....WHAT AN IMAGINATION

anil you silly man, the BJP and indian government are to blame, whatever the problem is...if they had only learnt how to treat minorities from the benevolent country to the west, india would have been a first world country like china now

re: 5

``I replied, how many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two.

One to change the lightbulb and the other one to give me a blow job.``

You left out the part where she responded that replacing the lightbulb took more time.

Farzana

That was very good. Whenever I read such text, I feel that there is still some hope in this world. Something that transgresses all boundaries.

And everyone to his own fantasy. There are no rules in this mental sport.

I find that slight shiver on the Jelly very sexy.

A little dark, a little food, a little drink, a little music - that is all that is required to leave this world and float into that nothingess.

Well, ok...this is a quickie, since I am not in my proper position...

t:

I did some self-censorship for Chowk...the original did begin with something about how everytime I chop bhindi, I feel like Lorenna Bobbitt...and how if you dunk the okra in a bowl of water and run your fingers over it you will feel its stickiness...what else did I cut off???:)

I am an idiot...I had written `Last Tango` and then changed it to `Clockwork`...so when I am right I think I am wrong and blah...

As for ``whatever this is``....aphrodisiacs do arouse desire and their job is to keep you going AS WELL...Viagra works on the latter principle.

Tough meat does nto have to be raw...

Where have I mixed Italian and French cuisine? A sharp soup, a dariole, garlic bread (garlic is a huge aphrodisiac and only in its raw form is it a turn-off), and lobster IS sensual...the idea being the effort to make it ..er...come...or appear, if you will...

I don`t need a Taki. The ``rough edges`` have very fine layers of subtlety that an obsequious Taki would not know about...

Jang: I wish you woudl see the last line for what it really is:)

godot: Not seen the film...fantasies take up soooo much time!

hamidm: So you liked this or not????? Or do you think it is poetic???

Satire: Thanks...gosh you are the only one who said something nice...

Anil: rsaxena gets terribly excited sometimes...

...... seeing a hyderbadi ball up rice in his fist, plop it into his mouth and then lick his hand from the wrist up to the tips of his fingers, is enough to put anyone off food for a long time ............ nothing sexy about that !.............

rsaxena (#8):

I did not know indian government and BJP chop vegetables.

but what about the horrible indian government and the BJP?

Farzana,

Sensualicious!! Loved every word.

Satire

..... ... i guess if you look at all the fat people around it does seems that food is a substitute for sex ............

Some fatal errors in this whatever it is:

“(When Harry Met Sally), an old woman at the next table tells the waiter rather sweetly, “I’ll have one of those!”

She actually said, rather forlornly, “Can I have what she is having.”

The distinction between the writer’s version and the actual dialog is for all to see.

..”And they do like the meat a bit tough because..”
A thing about the meat, if you like your meat brown than you are actually killing a cow! Meat should only be eaten pink. Meat is eaten almost raw…real men like to maul the supple…if you get the drift.
I know Indians like to brown their meat. ugh!!!

“Aphrodisiacs” are to arouse sexual desire. Viagra has no such function. It is for correcting dysfunction or impotence. That means; you may have a desire but if you cant do anything about it then you use Viagra. Author needs to learn these subtle differences. I personally recommend Cialis or levitra. They are duking it out big time.

Symbolism aside, the article or whatever, does have some good points but as usual suffers from rough edges that are sufficiently present in her work, that I have seen so far.

This whatever needed some lyricism in it to make it a good read. The veggies analogies are excellent but any good chef would chop veggies off his/her fingers and that is delicate. The writer obviously is far removed from delicacy and treats the whole veggie chopping experience as wood chopping experience. Have you seen those strongman contests on ESPN? Veggie chopping section really reminded me of that.

“True sensuality has to be kept simple… perhaps a sharp soup, some garlic bread, a darioles, the lobster playing hard to get, or an asparagus pastry full of vice under its crust, and chocolate soufflé tantalising between the sheets of whipped cream.”

I almost puked. Mixing Italian delicacies with French and then Lobster! Lobster!! (Lobster and sensuality…pretty rough analogy.) Then eat three diff kinds of desserts. That is not true sensuality… this is murder. How we are going to teach people good eating…may be Taki can help…. but the writer lives in India...

BTW, I recommend Italian food with fine red wine for true Aphrodisiacs.

godot

You are right. Marlon Brando and the butter scene is from The Last Tango In Paris.

A feminist once told me a joke.

The way to reach a mans heart is through his stomach, with a nine inch carving knife.

I replied, how many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two.

One to change the lightbulb and the other one to give me a blow job.

:-)

Ferzi:

…cannot help chuckle…what will our resident maulana aamir puritanabadi will have to say here!...bearing in mind what he gushed forth on a (comparatively) innocuous short story the other day;)

…this reminded of the earlier one you wrote…the one lubboo requested once…similar vein…memory is always faulty…but if I lean on it I ‘d say that one had a….er….sensuous edge…didn’t it have okra or lady finger too as it is known there?

Food is sexy, often sexier than sex itself, and what you do with it lasts infinitely longer.

…disagree!

(any more from me and the puritunnvi, puritanabadi, and the puritanpuri et al would pounce on me)

bspnd,

t

ps: the movie that goes with this is Babbette’s Feast

Farzana,

I think you may have confused Marlon Brando’s “Last Tango in Paris” with “A Clockwork Orange.” He is not in A Clockwork Orange, and this movie has nothing to do with food.

Anyway, liked your vegetable/fruit and sex parallels. This reminded me of the Mexican movie “Like Water for Chocolate.” Have you seen it? If not, then you must.

`sup?

a whole article on sensual symbolism without any reference to lingam? maybe i missed

``The simple act of chopping vegetables and fruits is like foreplay ``..

ouch..you think chopping gajar-muli is like foreplay? maybe for babit.
garlic is the best contraceptive.. keeps the passionate away

article kind of ended abruptly..interruptus.