Club X

ye log faltu bakwas kar rele tere ko writer bana dengey fir khadi ka kurta aur chasma aur chotey se glas mein chai lol keep it up man

Excellent Rah,

Enjoyed reading that. And keep on writing!

Shira

brilliant....no doubt!!

my post #13 Richard Burton is actually Richard Gordon..
americanF0B #17 ``You could`ve embedded that kind of a theme in almost any kind of a short story``
Well, the other ``ity`` in this story,mediocrity,has a connection with circularity.The effort of Ashish to break the mediocrity,has to be done by attacking circularity.
He is trying to move linearly by starting to write,and the irony is that it is only then when it is revealed to the reader that circularity of time has something to do with it.
I know it is not obvious,and the reason why I had more than one threads of control in this story was thats the way I wanted it, and thats the way I enjoyed writing it.
Furthermore, its just my take on the story and any other take is just as valid.Not everything is black and white,and that is because,as I aleady said ,I dont exercise dictatorial control over each character.
One last thing.I am not sure whether discussing my take in such detail is a good idea; I purposely wanted to leave a grey zone in which every reader can have their own interpretation.You can mail me at rahul_capri@yahoo.com if there are any other questions.
Rozaiba #18 Thanks,,you made my day..or whatver is left of it..:-)

Totally enjoyed this piece! It`s great to have you on Chowk. You and Sucheta- are people I can learn much from!

The theme of circularity wasn`t so obvious, infact the only thing that made me see it was that the oiece ended and began with the same words. I think the author always has control over every single element of the plot. That control is what makes a piece good or bad. I just don`t see what is accomplished by this piece, I see the chain with the author writing about another author/poet, etc; but maybe if Ashish writes his piece then he can build on perhaps new themes or elaborate the idea of circularity vs. linearity in time.

ps: no, i didn`t think it was bs, is fact it helped me see that circularity vs. linearty was your main focus. You could`ve embedded that kind of a theme in almost any kind of a short story. It`s funny that you chose to weave it into this lahore social elite meets Party Animal (McCully Clukin`s latest flick) plot.

Sorry for replying late.Have been kinda busy-
FarzanaVersey,Saminasha,samankhan,temporal,americanFOB,Urstruly,scott,warpster
Thank you for your appreciation and encouragement.Means a lot.
FarzanaVersey #1
``But the beginning? You seem to want to let things flow, give the inanimate objects life (transposed against the protagonist`s laziness?),``
It was more his loneliness than laziness.
``but it comes across as a bit self-conscious.``
Since I have been precluded of judging this article objectively,I can only hazard a guess.I was trying to build up atmosphere,before letting my pen flow with abandon.
Since I was consciously trying to do something,hence may have appeared self conscious.
``Would love to know more about how clothes can lie in various sexual positions!``
Damn these horny clothes..they are always up to some mischief..
``Were you trying to convey Ashish`s state of mind through them?``
Yep.Again,his loneliness. I did not want to make it too obvious though.
``Though you might have watched out for a few punctuations and use of articles``
Damn Mr. Microsoft Word.Its all his fault.:-)

temporal #6
``...keep working hard(er)... ``
Only in this context its ``party harder`` for me,because I dont consider this as work..:-)

americanFOB #7
``too bad it didn`t lead to any interesting themes or ideas that pertain to chowkies, or humans for that matter``
Sometimes the characters take the story into their own hands.It may seem pretentious and maybe cliched too,but sometimes how a story progresses is governed
by how the characters develop.And the author is not as much in control as one might think.There was one serious theme that I was trying to touch.The circularity of time has always fascinated me as against its linearity.The ending again leaves at the beginning,though the control has shifted from the author to a character.The protagonist has moved linearly,the observer might experience a certain circularity.I may build this theme further,when Ashish writes his story(if I write that story),or may not.
ps- did u think all that I just said is BS? It probably is.:-)

scott #9
``I am guessing that you have read a lot of PG Wodehouse``
Right on buddy.And a lot of Douglas Adams and Richard Burton too.Though this was not consciously on my mind,i realize my sense of humour was Wodehousian.Though I like to believe I am more messed up, so I had a certain serious spin to the story too :-)
#10 by warpster
``I presume this is stream of consciousness writing..``
You think so?I did not intend it to be.

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Absolutely dreadful. Apparently the author also has no reservations about drinking alone.
Chin up. Not everybody`s meant to write.

I presume this is stream of consciousness writing.. enjoyed it.

I am guessing that you have read a lot of PG Wodehouse. And the use of ``All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.`` - Alexander Woollcott.

The starting was actually quite good.

Great imagery, nice choice of words. Excellent work Rahul. Looking forward to more of your endeavors - seriously.

Haha Nikki, I`d like to introduce you to the metrosexual desi male of today. jk...

but I must say the imagery and the use of language is quite nice...too bad it didn`t lead to any interesting themes or ideas that pertain to chowkies, or humans for that matter.

Samina