Last Rites: An Evening at a Pak/Indian Show-biz Award Ceremony

Were the commericals all awful?As far as I remember, on Indian TV they were the only entertaining stuff.

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NFP:

a point of correction (not contention). `kabhi kabhie` was sung by mukesh (and lata) and not mohammad rafi, unless this is just part of the purposeful silliness.

yeah. .and i`m with #2. . .stop lying!!! stop trying to make a point by funny, biting, stories! what would people think. . .???? LOL.

it is all about the commercials these days. awful or not, they aren`t just simple, mindless adverts, the ones behind the ads are in control. when i was a child, anything having to do with the entertainment industry was considered either `beneath one`s status`, or against the teachings of islam. i was watching an awards show just recently where there was a naat or something to that effect before the festivities began, and it surprised me. . .has this like become a nexus now, this corporate-religious-entertainment show? or is this just really what it intends to be. .a spoof?

heheh! Good one! Hilarious as uaual!

I simply hated the entire awards ceremony. firstly it looked totally mismanaged and disorganised at some points.

Secondly,Nadia Jameel kept blabbing rubbish. It was hilarious when she ran onto stage with just one jhumka in her ear and that too half hanging from her hair . At first i thought maybe she`s trying to make some weird fashion statement but within miinutes owing to the expertise of the camera man , she had the time to remove the half hanging sole earring . :)

Some performances were good such as the ones by Nirma and resham and even ZQ. But when Meera took on to stage... ( now that`s another story).

Amina haq won the award for best actress for a drama and that was a shock. She didn`t deserve it. i mean she just can not act. The other actresses nominated did a much beter part for instance Sania saeed or Uzma Gillani. Amina Haq???? Whatever!!!!

Sadia Imam looked super excited and her enthusiasm seemed totally fake ..well..atleast to me.

Further, i really didnt understand the concept behind P.actress`s coming on stage when Sonu Nigam was singing. let the poor guy sing in peace....

Shaan winning the best actor award for commando was also beyond my understanding. i mean from the promo , it looked as if all he did in the movie was to hold an Ak-47 and shout at the top of his lungs.

I also noticed that half the seats of the hall were empty or rather the hall was half full.. ( whatever! ).

Rahul Capri (post # 1) is right.. the commercials were the only entertaining thing to watch.

Anyways, shouldn`t be too hard on the organisers . I guess they did try very hard to put up a good show. but, then they definately have to do better and work harder!

Coming to the story , it was a good way to point out the fallacy of most actors and politicians. For instance the part where you wrote:

``Mr. Shaukat Aziz for portraying an ageing yuppie who suddenly discovers the wonders of discarding designer suits for crisp shalwar-kameez …”
now, that`s something. :)

You seem to come with brilliant stuff every time. I mean who could have thought of a classical version of ``Billo de Ghar ``!

Way too funnyyy!!!!

#3 ana
~~has this like become a nexus now, this corporate-religious-entertainment show? or is this just really what it intends to be. .a spoof?~~

Fact is spoofier than fiction, ana.

#1# rahul_capri
~~Were the commericals all awful?As far as I remember, on Indian TV they were the only entertaining stuff.~~

I agree. Even though as Sir Syed Ahmed Khan once correctly said: ``A commercial, is a commercial, is a commercial.``

#2 by twintopaz
~~Nadeem...i wonder how come chowk staff agreed to publish this crap on front page...you please learn to appreciate things..improve your writing skills and stop lieing ~~

twintopaz ... It`s actually the back page posing to be a front page.... you please learn to apprecaite me for not appreciating things .... improve your reading skills and stop crying.

rgds,
NfP

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LOl! This was a roar. It`s like one of Paracha`s spoof stuff many years ago. This is the kind of stuff that first made him notorious in Pakistan.
twintopaz jee, what do you mean stop lieing? Like ana rightly mentioned this was a spoof. Get a sense of humour, or better still, aap koh RUX Style award mubarak ho.

please mention the purpose of this article, is it some shugally stuff, and if it is then HA HA HA HA, buhat hansee ayee, wow

i have absolutely no idea about what the awards were really like (except for the coverage given to them by tft etc) but i found this piece very very funny...im still laughing..too too good!
But btw, whats the slaanlaikum spoof? did each person actually come on stage and say slanlaikum?

We should call it a show-biz award ceremoney for cheezy singers. As the great singer mehdi Hasan, once called all these pop music ``sheetani music``.
Many of our people dont have water to drink, and no food to eat. In my opinion, these shows are waste of time, money and energy. I dont like these shows, but they have all rights to do have these shows.

Regards.

Oh yes, totally agree with Nass, this is quite like NFP of his younger early ninetees` The News days. Not that I did not enjoy this, but I personally think NFP was evolving well into a sharp short story writer, even though he has maintained his Theatre Of The Absured sense of humour in the many stories he has written for chowk. But I guess the LUX Awards were just too delicious for NFP to miss aiming his infamous pen at. They sucked and what better person to tell us that than Nadeem Farooq Paracha.

what is it with you paracha and junaid jamshed? you think he`s been duped into becoming religious? sorry that for all your wasted braincells you seem intent on completely destroying this mans personal quest to bring salvation into his life. its a sad state that you mock people who have realized that there is more to life than writing stupid sardonic pieces for low rated websites and smoking crack in your basement. youre perverse to make fun of someone with a beard (not counting fazlur rahman in that one though). a sure sign of the times. sorry to mullah out on you paracha. leave the man alone.

CoolHandLuke,

i think NFP can also write some serious commentary. . .like ``The Tomato Manifesto`` and ``The Third Pasture``, and it would be nice to see more of that too na?

though i think if he wants to focus on TOA right now, then we`re in for more treats. and there is plenty of absurdity in karachi (and pakistan as a whole) for him to write about!

``. . .perverse to make fun of someone with a beard.``

yeah NFP! how`s your beard doin` by the way? is it still there? do keep it trimmed a decent length. . .you know beards catch all sorts of things!!! *wicked grin*

nikki7777

Dumba**, the Lux show was 95% Indian venture with the likes of Sony arranging most of the segments in the Show. Even the rights to the Show were only available to Sony and none of the Pak tv Channels.

Haha!
Oh my. Loved the peice!

I was just wondering yesterday if you were on another hiatus, Nadeem sahaab. And lo and behold, here you are =)

A Marxist with a sense of humor? well well, what else is new!! :)

#5
Gracias, Summaiya

#6 Nass
~~ This is the kind of stuff that first made him notorious in Pakistan.~~

Yes, Nass, this and one of your favorite subjects regarding “the source of my creative input”, i.e. my 17 breakdowns and near-overdoses! ;) Thank you, nonetheless.

#7 niki777
~~Don`t be so hard on them!!.Look at what they have to work with!!!.~~

Perhaps, but only if they start working with people with genuine talent instead of inflated, misplaced egos and hot air. They’re full of it and the last thing they deserve is a glamorized award. In Pakistan at least, all this razz-matazz is no more than a media-showbiz-corporate mafia promoting and patting each other’s vested commercial interests in the name of art, fashion and music. A farce with heavy make-up, platform shoes and the most cringing pretensions this side of Bollywood. There you have it. Wasn’t all that hard on them now was I? Must be having another breakdown.

#8 by mughaleazaam on July 25, 2004 5:07pm PT
~~please mention the purpose of this article, is it some shugally stuff, and if it is then HA HA HA HA, buhat hansee ayee, wow~~

The purpose of this article, mughaleazam (or should I say ‘alam pana’) was to prove the dangers of genetic engineering and the immoral cloning technology. But you may also read it as the lost chapter from Shehshah Akber’s ‘Deen-e-Illahi.’ Just for ‘shugal.’

#9 bat
~~But btw, whats the slaanlaikum spoof? did each person actually come on stage and say slanlaikum?~~

Ever heard the way many Pakistani yuppies and trendies use the word mahshallah? It’s quite hilarious, really. Observe how often they use it, especially when talking about their children, job and business. Sometimes more often than their bearded and conservative counterparts. But the funny thing is, when the mullah hazraat say it with a heavy Arabic accent, the yuppies and the fashion brigade say it in a strange British-meets-American accent (even though it usually comes out sounding more like Platonion Greek!). So, since they also have a habit of saying Aslamualaikum (especially, if not ONLY, on the tele), I wondered ...

#10 by garam_chai on July 25, 2004 8:16pm PT
~~We should call it a show-biz award ceremoney for cheezy singers. As the great singer mehdi Hasan, once called all these pop music ``sheetani music``.~~

Now, now garam chai, they may not be your cup of chai, or the legendary Mehdi Hassan’s glass of Scoth, but “sheetani” they are not. Otherwise I would have been praising them, instead of plaguing them! However, you are more than welcome to call my writings “sheetani,” and that too, MORE than once.



#11 CoolHandLuke
~~They sucked and what better person to tell us that than Nadeem Farooq Paracha. ~~

Now am I supposed to take this as a compliment? Why can’t I be the person telling about an event that does not suck? Something like George Bush choking on Pretzels, or Shaukat Aziz finally having to learn how to tie a zarband in a crisply starched shalwar, or BJP falling flat on its face by actually believing all the pre-election surveys conducted by Rupert- Murdoch-run media scams, or Osama now having to use a Russian-made flush system in Wana instead of a hole he was so comfortable with in Tora-Bora ?

#12 ana
Yup! After all, I do believe that the Theatre of Absurd style is a wonderful slap-stick reflection of the black comedy that passes as “reality.”

#13 by taqat-e-parvaaz on July 25, 2004 10:42pm PT
~~what is it with you paracha and junaid jamshed?~~

What is with Junaid and me? Well, to begin with, we both have beards. But his is a lot longer than mine.

~~you think he`s been duped into becoming religious? sorry that for all your wasted braincells you seem intent on completely destroying this mans personal quest to bring salvation into his life.~~

Yes. I guess when huge Pepsi contracts stop working, God becomes the next best thing to salvation.

~~sorry to mullah out on you paracha. leave the man alone.~~

Don’t worry. I’ve been mullahed out a number of times. Being mullahed IN, now THAT is a real bummer. Ask Jamaima.


#15 by wajahat
~~the Lux show was 95% Indian venture with the likes of Sony arranging most of the segments in the Show. Even the rights to the Show were only available to Sony and none of the Pak tv Channels.~~

No wonder.

#16 Sidrah
Hello, Sidrah. Oh, well, I guess they’d had enough of that rude, cranky NFPism at bandbaja.org.
Just been busy with, y’know, a new series of breakdowns and addictions, that’s all.

#17 stuka
~~A Marxist with a sense of humor? well well, what else is new?? :)~~

What else is new? A conservative appreciating a Marxist`s humor! Now tell me, what else is the same ol`, same ol`?


Rgds,
NfP

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Stuka, the truth is as far as I remeber NFP has always been known more as an anarchist than a marxist. btw NFP a real lol piece again and your reposnses are equally entertaining. But i shouldn`t be using that word, should i? and what is this thing about you quiting bandbaja? your pic and bio`s still there.

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thanks Mrs NFP. now i cud see that The purpose of this article, was to prove the dangers of genetic engineering and the immoral cloning technology. :>

Walrus:

I have not interacted a great deal with Mr. Paracha but we had an interesting exchange on the Maobadi movement in Nepal, hence my perception.

Baaghiraaja:

You know ``compassionate conservatives`` like with me would appreciate humor from any source. ;)

Bravo!
After watching the pathetic awards...with the wonderful ads (as rightly pointed out by Rahul #1)...this comes as a treat.Tell me NFP, what am I to do when people actually sing praises of the awards on my face??

#22 Stuka
Baaghiraaja:
~~You know ``compassionate conservatives`` like with me would appreciate humor from any source. ;) ~~

Yes, epecially anti-religion and anti-corporate humour coming from ``benevolent Marxists.`` Admit it.

#20 Warlus,
In the last ten years or so, I`ve enjoyed the anarchist tag more than I have the Marxist label. But recently I`ve been settling for anarcho-Marxist-existentialisto. But then, of course, there are the more simpler ones that have come my way as well, such as ``Funky-Junky,`` or the good ol`, one-word ``ba*tard!`` All lovelingly put and profiled, though.

#24 tintingem,
~~Tell me NFP, what am I to do when people actually sing praises of the awards on my face~~

Hold your breath till you turn blue. Let`s see what they sing then. Or you can just puke.

rgds,
NfP

i find NFP humor extremely far-fetched. it reminds me of articles in college campus rags, where the writers seem to write for each other (their fellow writers) as an audience, with little universal appeal, but it did not matter much to them as wider audience success was irrelevant.

so with the risk of appearing stupid, i register my voice as someone who just dont get it and fail to understand all the other wah-wahs.

NFP, you seem to be a good writer, but can you please write on something which us proles can get?

jang:

not that i`m trying to convert you to do wah-wahs, but since you`ve said you fail to understand all the other wah-wahs, i offer this by way of humble explanation:

NFP`s humor and his topics will have not have universal appeal. there are people from various parts of the world. . even the `intelligent` parts that will appreciate what he`s saying but in the mostly capitalistic societies that we live in, and off of. . .no, he`s not going to have universal appeal. of course it would be nice, and so wider audience success is hardly irrelevant.

and proles do get it. it takes some a little longer to actually absorb it. . .but they do get it. usually if i don`t get something, i just don`t respond. like this whole mughal vs. british contest, and who was the better imperialist and robber of resources. what the heck is all that about?!

you`re not stupid. you just think differently, dat b`dat b`dat`s all! :)

Nadeem..
I personally thought the awards were a good effort by Pakistan`s show bizz people. But then you just love satirizing anything and evrything that becomes a high profile event. I did enjoy the article. It is as your many fans would say ``typical NFP`` but how about something that would help these actors and models to improve? Asking too much from the rudest and most blunt writer on chowk?

ana

please dont stop enjoying NFP if you do. The prole stuff was just to bait mr nfp in listening to my request.

Bhali keray aya, paracha saain. With this blazing article I see you
are going back to square one. This was fun but let`s have more
of those Dadaist stories, maan.

This was pretty funny...even a layperson as myself could understand it...

And yes, even ABCDs say Mashallah..some of us with a trace of irony...

Fine even if someone here said that it is tough for som,e
people to understand Paracha`s ``dadaist`` stuff, but this
is so typical of his old stuff and in-your-face blasting of pretention and globalisation of indians and pakistanis. What so hard in understanding that?