Cactus Gas

Nadeem
I dare you to top this? I bet you thought that you instead of Sammual Becket was the last word in literary absurdism. But I`ve always wondered and you already know this, what is or was dadaism`s intellectual goal. Mere shock and madness or something more? I`ve enjoyed your journalistic work but your fiction disturbs me.

#21 ana
``is some crap that indian men are potty-trained with in regards to pakistanis??? *angelic smile*``

I dont know, you tell me. I dont know of any similar training regarding paki women. Tell me if you know of some. Also dont you pakis think that cows are hindus? Come on, tell the truth.

bhagiraja, it was reaaaly long and that was the biggest problem with us short-attention spanners. and yet the training showed and is immediately apreciated by hp. now, i dont know if it was intentional or not. the article was demeaning to the bovine and definatlely be codemned by RSPCA and the Dalai Lama (that capitalist lap-dog).

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How rebellious - in a conformist`s sort of way.

jang, ana, HP, raul,
Do not take this as anti-Hindu/india or as feedback suggested as anti-islam/Pakistan. It`s not all that narrow. It`s just about the problems I have with the whole concept of nationalism, patriotism and religion being slotted togather to reflect macho ideals about sex, God and country. It`s absured. I think my writings such as this and Acidity project the irrationalism, helplessness and absurdity of life in dramatic forms that reject realistic settings, logical reasoning, or a coherently evolving plot. At least that`s how I see them and life in general. Thus I should be forgiven (ironically, quite unlike the people who are finding this ``ugly`` For them I`d suggest ``realistic`` works such as Moth Smoke and Meatless Days). *giggle*
Like my most works in this mode, this is ``absurd`` in the double sense that it is grotesquely comic and also irrational and non-consequential; it is a parody not only of the traditional assumptions of Indian and Pakistani culture, but of the oncentions and generic distinctions in traditional literature.
Man, that sounded good.

rgds,
NfP

Nadeem,

Very DADA this piece, like most of yours. Though Beat generation writing, Kerouc and Burroguhs and Ginsberg, is considered rather dated curios in the west, there are no sub-continental versions. You might be a forerunner there. But, I felt it is rather too derivative. The generation destroyed by the unique sub-continental madness needs voice, but too much of this seems to reflect the kerouc-ginsberg-burroughs heritage.

All said, it was a good read.

NFP, I still don`t really know what to make of it.The lucid but eddying and pointless dialogue is often funny, and pratfalls and other modes of slapstick seem to be used to project alienation and tragic anguish but was there
an agenda to offend as well? My 2 cents.

Apparently illiterate ramblings these days pass for art. Oh well, to each his own, I`m just gonna make a graceful exit through the door Paracha has so kindly offered....

u start from the beginning..when there was nothing and then question why everything is required..like religion,nationalism etc.etc. and weave ur story around some philosphical premise??? or these are the words that come to ur head and u just put them down ? i am interested in your modus operandi..i know it is something like asking the soup nazi his recipe ..and i would understand if u choose not to answer..
and i dont think using obscene words is obscene per se..obsceneity is more in how the words are deployed..

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NFP,
I mostly ignore your article because honestly they are beyond me and you are ugly. For a simple person like me, deep is too much. I would just go with quick ones and get out of there. Mostly, I prefer gloryholes or swedish massages. Chines is not bad sometimes and costs less. I read this after reading jang’s comment below about potty training etc. Must say that I am enlightened by this article, narrative or whatever you wanna call it.
I think these are the best lines of the whole whatever-it-is:

““Strangely, all your talk is actually giving me a huge erection!”
“Well, what are we waiting for, then. Let’s hump. And do keep your promise.”
“ How often do you get humped?”
“Oh, four or five times a day” “Strangely, all your talk is actually giving me a huge erection!”

It never occurred to me that competition between Indian and Pakistani nationalist can be soooo stimulating. How huge Btw?

Now, was the reference to four or five times a subtle take on namaz four or five times a day or were you implying that she was doing it four of five times a day to despise a musslas begging to ride her?

Best ever copmarison of the two countries that I have ever come across and NFP, I say you are a genius!

India for you:
“Hey, I never wanted it! I just want to get the hell out of this confused country run by fundo Hindu fucks, supported by kinky bourgeoisie tramps, and upstart yuppie brains chocked with Cocacola capitalism and stomachs constipated with traditional Gandhian thalie!”

Here is Pakistan for you.

“Gee, I hardly see the difference if you compare it with a country run by BA-pass urban feudals, ulcerated capitalist thugs, penis-friendly mullah lobbies and military hardware on parade in the corridors of the National Assembly always smelling of warm Pepsi burps and lassie farts!”

Need anybody say more?

Good shiat! (Well! I like to sound condescending.)
PS.
``lassie farts!!!`` Hehehe....As in the drink or the TV dog or in economics???This was little too much for me.

baaghiraja:

it`s here, finally. where`s trashman so i can tell him i told him so? ;)

i don`t know if i`ll have that much different to say than i did on the last interactor board this was on, but here goes anyway. . .

i remember finding this rather offputting at first. because the protagonist comes across to me as being somewhat misogynistic, and xenophobic. . . his words certainly come across as such. words describing this as sick then are really of no surprise because this is a comment on certain segments of our society, and it is sick.

dung is a metaphor here that you`ve built the piece around, rather reflective of your humor. but this piece has a lot to do with identity. the protagonist is constantly in quest of answers in terms of his identity, and he ultimately becomes the identity he is so focused on throughout his life. how much should we focus on one particular identity to the exclusion of all else?

and this is what i get about this, and what i like about it, a few reads later is that in the exchanges between the various characters, there are critiques/questions on nationalism, ethnocentrism, religion, the feudal system, all these things that are such strong elements of our identity. and of course the non-surprise: your references to coke and pepsi. :)

in the releasing of the cactus gas, and the dung, the question arises (pun perhaps intended) does it really matter where we come from. . .it is what we make of ourselves and the life around us that matters. and how do we do that?

oh, and the parodying of melodramatic desi movies towards the end is hilarious!

best,
ana

jang:

i must add by way of correction something to your stereotype crap that some pakistani men are potty-trained with:

all women (regardless of national identity) are to be *bleeped*!!!!!

and what pray yell (oops typo, but it works as well) is some crap that indian men are potty-trained with in regards to pakistanis??? *angelic smile*

vaisay paracha is highlighting the absurdities of the main character, and spares neither pakistanis nor indians, so i hope you`re not spoiling for yet another india vs. pakistan muqaabla? :)