What Dreams Are Made Up Of

Shyema-
i really like the story! especially how you have managed to create an atmosphere of the silent pain of departure; muted, held-back ecstasy; and the detail of characters` actions, is commendable.

however, i think your story is `thinking aloud` too much. there`s too much noise that`s taking away from the quiet ambience of the story. you need to cut down on `what i am feeling` and try to convey those feelings via actions. let your characters` actions speak.
if you can do this, you`ll be the next hanif kureishi...:)

-bilal

Writing is a creative expression of the mind. Like a photograph, a painting, it reflects the imagery of the soul, imprinting it in time forever. It offers catharsis to vent anger, to shed silent tears. It comforts the afflicted, fights just causes, makes you think and helps others act. Dreams are wishes of the heart that are fulfilled by the mind. If you believe, you can achieve, as nothing is impossible. So dream away!

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