Opportunity

well.. the breifcase could contain lots of heroine for one possibilty and the fact that the armed guy wasn`t asking for the `money in the briefcase` but simply the wallet... u know the guys ``never dashed for the briefcase when it lay on the ground; they just fought``... the briefcase could`ve contained anything for imaginations`s sake... maybe a baby doll or medical reports of the actual owner`s mom u know... however there was basically no point in attaching a mere coincidence ( inspired by ignorance on zaheer`s part) to an act of wrong... isn`t that aunt subconcious in u xoheb that got hold of u... howver if it all was pure intentional its a good attempt on writing short stories... keep it up, u can do a hell lot better. _`B`alach

thanx rozaiba for ur suggestions.

No offence, but the two arent exactly what i had in mind... and i think the ending serves pretty well what i wanted it to serve.

regards.

should have been developed more and with more force if it was to have theme you intended to show. zaheer died too soon.

however, if the intention was to keep it short, it should have had a whackier ending. like, for example:

the two folks fighting in the alley were also seeking the same job that zaheer had been turned down for. one of them was the one who had made the `bargain` mentioned earlier in the story and so the second job applicant was trying to rip the suitcase off of him so he could bribe the interviewee instead. zaheer gets away with the money and gets a call from the same interviewee the next day who says that zaheer is being reconsidered for the position in the light of unforseen events.

or

zaheer steals the suitcase only to find out that it is filled with the names of RAW agents planted in the city to wreck havoc. very soon zaheer is on his way to be a hero (and his mom blesses him for the mission too).