Mute Goat Dilemma

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ahmedm is wadda (big) philosopher.

``most of us who write at chowk, interact at chowk, you wont find us fondling women, grabbing ass wagairah.``

Grabbing ass? WTF? Anyway, I do and I also write at chowk.

``i hope i`m right. i dont anyway. i have tons of better things to do with my time.``

You`re wrong. All STRAIGHT men do it, whether they are pakistani or not. In the west, they do it in places known as nightclubs...but builders (see construction) whistle at women on the street all the time in the West as well...so sort out your facts before you start giving us your take on life.

The better things you do with your time probably include a healthy dose of pronogrphy everyday...thats why you dont oggle at women on the street...not because you are educated...biatch.

``all that is sadly a waste of time that cant be helped unless the country really gets to its feet and wisks away all these men into demanding skilled jobs and higher education.``

You are a loser ahmedm. get a life and stop philosophising...biaatch.

``so stop complaining and stop reproducing like rabbits and pay your taxes. things will work out in thirty years``

Give me your address and I will personally come and beat up your sorry mummy daddy a*s.

good read. very true mostly. the pakistani male population is in a dire situation sadly. and killing off all the pakistani males isnt a good option sobia :) what i would suggest is to educate them. these people who stopped in front of our writer and looked her up, those guys at the bus stops, those people in the bycylcles, those guys at the beach,they arent educated. not to say that educated people dont harass women, just the incidence is way much less. all these uneducated, sometimes jobless, mostly blue collar men, they are all frustrated males, have nothing better to do. when a guy has nothing to do, his most basic male instinct lights up. starts lookoing for females to drag into his cave and reproduce.the modern version of that is checking women out and feeling them up.
ofcourse women arent worth the time our men spend oggling at them and frisking them and harrassing them, but the sad reality is they dont have anything better to do. most of us who write at chowk, interact at chowk, you wont find us fondling women, grabbing ass wagairah. i hope i`m right. i dont anyway. i have tons of better things to do with my time. and why is that? well we have school, we have social events, we mostly have good jobs that keep us busy and we have way better forms of entertainment to keep us occupied.
being vocal about it will help you out at the spot but it`ll happen again. as long as men in pakistan dont have something better to do with their time, they will waste it doing all that ms. mehreen talks about. all that is sadly a waste of time that cant be helped unless the country really gets to its feet and wisks away all these men into demanding skilled jobs and higher education. so stop complaining and stop reproducing like rabbits and pay your taxes. things will work out in thirty years. cheers :)

Urstruly is a badmaash...indian villain...ban his arse from the forum altogether I say :-)>. MBZ Isphahanis response made me laugh so hard that i nearly cried...paricularly the last bit...

All 7 of them were wearing earing
giving gayish look physically.

``Suddenly,The Bus stopped.The sikh driver came and said I saw what you
did from hidden camera.I want you out of this bus or I will call the police.
The youth left without even asking refund for the money they just had paid.``

Haha....

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good article..we were discussing this in office today, incidentally...one of my female colleagues said that whenever someone teases her on the road, when she`s driving, she creates such a scene, that people not only get shocked but run away, fearing for their lives..she`s like if someone curses me, i curse twice as loudly and brutally...very gutsy...but anyhow, i don`t know how MUCH you can do that..how many times can you curse and how many times can you cause scenes? It`s so annoying and you feel so helpless and such a piece of meat that I really think, short of killing the entire pakistani male population, we can`t do too much. I`m very pessimistic, I know..please tell me if there are any solutions!

mehreen ali bhen ji aap chowk staff walon ka burra mat maniyay

i wholly agree with martini...keeping quiet or ignoring is definitely not an option...make some noise/action..and dont give a damn whether it attracts the whole world or anything..like one of my friend`s college-going cousin was being touched and fondled continuosly from the back while travelling in a bus..so she very calmly took out her pencil box and took the compass out from it and pierced it into the palm of the person..well anyways..verbal or physical..action had to be taken..have to remind them that we arent some mechanical creatures who dont feel a thing.

chowk staff

aik shareef aadmi ki post reject karte hoay sharam nahin aati?

A very well-written piece Mehreen.
Women will have to stand up against all this crap. It is women only who can put these men to their senses and thus, staying mum should be the last thing to do. Making a hue and cry over an incident of any sort may seem embarrasing but its about time women do this so as to make these men realize that we`re not going to take any sort of shit from them.
So ladies, next time a guy does or says something to you, hit him with your bag if he`s in close proximity. And if he happens to be on a bike, pick a stone and hurl it at him. Let him rot in the hospital for years.
I just wish we could do this. When all these men will start dying left, right and center, the rest of the male population would get in their right senses too.

Martini`s right. Staying quiet, not going out, not driving, taking the hijab, even, all encourage this sort of behavior by implying that all women who are out there are fair game. The funny thing is, when you actually make a noise about it, all those would-be oglers suddenly turn into enraged older brothers. I have heard many accounts of how the harasser has been beaten or chased off by shopkeepers, bystanders, and all manner of males, and seen it on occasion as well. I think this has to do with the way the injunction to treat all women as ones sisters/mothers interacts with the idea that all women outside their homes are fair game. It`s a contradiction, but if it can be used to get you out of a sticky situation, you may as well use it.

I know what the writer`s talking about though. The constant, incessant staring, ogling, singing, `Mashallah`s, pinching, stalking, and the harassment from other drivers when one is on the road. BUT, the majority will look away or run off if you look them in the eye and indicate or say `what?`. When that fails, drive to the nearest police station or chowkie. That said, policemen aren`t above harassment themselves, so be careful.

A word about self defense. PLEASE visit this site before you attempt to carry knives and things to defend yourselves with. www.nononsenseselfdefense.com
Pepper spray and things that can be used at a distance are more likely to be effective than something you have to use at close range.

Nice article...anarkali...(...whistle...whistle...) but before you go on about how you get harassed on the streets, take a moment and think about how `eves` also tend to get preferential treatment to their male counterparts in Pakistan. I disagree with ogling at women (of course I do it anyway) but I disagree even more with the special treatment women tend to get when they go to any public place.

Women are experts at complaining. Unfortunately, they tend to be good at little else.

Nuke

Mehreen good article and you expressed your point quite well.

I had a friend once driving behind a police jeep in a deserted area in Delhi and the cop sitting behind in the jeep was winking at her. So she overtook the police jeep and pulled sharply forcing the jeep to come to a stop.

The inspector sitting in front came to her car to find out what had happened. My friend told him what had happened and demanded the errant cops name. She spoke with tremendous confidence even though she was very scared . First the cops said that some dust particle had gone into his eye and that is why he was winking. When that did not sell they told my friend ` Chota bacha hai janai do na`. So my friend did not pursue the case, but she made her point.

So I think that at times (Not always) it does help to be slightly aggressive, as Martini has stated.

I think a woman victimizes herself if she stays mute on such occasions. I am a karachiite and being one really taught me how to put such pigs in their places. Girls make a mistake if they think dressing in a certain way or wearing less makeup would somehow avert male attention. It happens nevertheless and the only way to handle it is to mouth your annoyance out! Dont care how people might be looking at you and what they might think. Just tell the guy to keep his hands to himself or to stop staring. If that doesnt work then just stare back with twice the intensity haha. No man likes to be stared at by a woman. So far as the auto driver goes...he is getting paid by you to do his job. Just give him a piece of your mind in the way you see best fit. Times have changed grl ... let em hear it when they provoke you. Be it karachi or Los Angeles!

I think a woman victimizes herself if she stays mute on such occasions. I was a karachiite and being one really taught me how to put such pigs in their places. Girls make a mistake if they think dressing in a certain way or wearing less makeup would somehow avert male attention. It happens nevertheless and the only way to handle it is to mouth your annoyance out! Dont care how people might be looking at you and what they might think. Just tell the guy to keep his hands to himself or to stop staring. If that doesnt work then just stare back with twice the intensity haha. No man likes to be stared at by a woman. So far as the auto driver goes...he is getting paid by you to do his job. Just give him a piece of your mind in the way you see best fit. Times have changed grl ... let em hear it when they provoke you. Be it karachi or Los Angeles!

mehreen, i think this is mainly due to sexual frustration in pakistani society although the same problem of male ogling exists to lesser degrees in most countries of the world. i remember naomi wolf the uber-feminist once talking about being wolf-whistled at in the USA and she was mightily pissed off at it too! so it`s not just a pakistani thing but it is exaggerated due to the general sexual frustration....traditionally people were married off as soon as they hit puberty but this is no longer feasible in most cases (or desired ) and so in a strictly conservative society with not much room for letting off sexual steam it leads to such psychological states...been reading Anais Nin`s diaries lately and she talks a lot about psychosexuality....

FOBS do it in the UK conspicuously more than other people and I`m sure everywhere else too...

the solutions? (1) earlier marriage again! (2) abstinence/lowering the gaze (VERY difficult and unlikely to happen!!) as we become a nation of truly pious God-fearing people (3) a permissive attitude to sexual relationships outside of marriage to become the norm in pakistan as it has in europe for example (probably will happen in the next 50-75 years)

one guy at my old uni told me how his cousin in a burkha got her arse pinched at jumah in the Badshahi mosque! I was shocked...