When Darcy and Lalita get laid…

thanks for the warning, farzana-definite miss!

Farzana,
Don`t hold back. Tell us what you really thought about the movie -:)

Farzana Versey

Quote:

`` Since when has Amritsar become “rural”?``

Actually, almost always it has been that way only, when seen from the eyes of Delhi/Bombay (on purpose, I am not adding Calcutta, Madras). Though Amritsar has been a city on its own but it has been kind of C or D category (rankwise and not something derogatory). And not just Amritsar but there have been many other cities too. Amritsar, when seen from the eyes of Punjab, it certainly is a city (if I am not mistaken, perhaps, Chandigarh has been taken more as a city compartive to Amritsar. But, I could be wrong on this.). And this is not just about Amritsar but thru out the world, situation has not been that different. Meaning, when comparing with metropolitan cities, other cities are taken more as pind/rural. Sure, there are B class/catergory cities too, in between...

Nearby Bombay/Mumbai, there are Nasik and Nagpur, Aurgangabad too...ask Bombayites/Mumbaites how they rank or feel about these cities, when it comes to comparing with Bombay/Mumbai..:) In general, of course...:)

Btw, my understanding is, this director already has got a confirmed deal from Hollywood.:) They have given her budget of $100 million to make a movie. :)

Above has been said in a very light hearted manner...

Wondeful review. Thoroughly enjoyed it.
I had enjoyed ``Bend it like Beckham``. Though never a fan of Aish, I was still pondering to see it because of Gurinder Chaadha but was afraid that the movie might not be as fun as ``Bend it....``.
You need to write more reviews.

``...her logic is that there is nothing wrong in being poor. Wickham, even in his poverty, is earning in pounds and his backpacking is more adventure, less pecuniary considerations. Besides, would she have the same noble sentiments towards a truck driver or dhabawalla?...``

This passage I wonder about. Class is a lot more complicated than this reduction...and people marry across class lines for reasons that defy these kinds of speculations or claims. If Chadha is being taken for task for her inability to adhere to ``The Cult of Authencity``, lets include a more knowledgeable analysis of class as well.

#18 by stuka:

[``Message conveyed: men are understanding and non-interfering.
Message: Men are chivalrous, misunderstood and protective.
men are sensitive and above petty money-mindedness. ``
How true. Wonder why Farzana is getting so upset about such truisms.]

Because these are not truisms, but delusions…

#19 by Naqshbandi:

Ms. Chadha does not think she is catering to the “moronic masses”. She believes she is breaking new ground in cinema…incidentally, ‘Sholay’ did borrow from Kurosawa and did a darned good job of it. And Gulzar has adapted ‘The sound of music’ as well as Shakespeare with aplomb…

How can one enjoy the jiggling if it is done by corpulent halwaais and eunuchs?

#20 by hamidm2:

[there is nothing wrong with a little gratuitous sex on the big screen - it is better than a troop of monkeys dancing ...........]

There is no sex in the film, gratuitous or gratifying. And honestly, watching a troop of dancing monkeys can be fun (unless one begins to identify with the simians to ‘get into the skin of their characters’!), but what can you get from two people desperately trying to fake it?

#22 by Sobia:

Thanks! About Ash and her giggling, the less said the better…she is being promoted as some international star only for one reason – her semi-Caucasian looks.

PS: Romair had at one time said she probably had some Pakistani blood in her ;)

Farzana

Yes, maybe BV Karanth`s films should be screened, that way, its a kannada movie and its good!
No, the Ingezi movies are out too- its a `moratorium` on all films non-kannada and really and only because the films they churn out are so bad, and mostly b-grade, they don`t do any business compared to the rest.
This one theatre( screening this very movie, in English) was badly attacked and today was a cinema-theatre bundh, all theatres voluntarily shutting down in protest. Damn good, atleast the other affected parties are standing up and being counted.Meanwhile the pirated CD guys are making hayday.

Farzana, excellent write-up!

I`ve seen the movie, and it was a complete disappointment. Ashwarya has started to look like ET, with her big swimming eyes and a blank expression. She looked like a fool in Devdaas next to Madhuri and she looks like a fool all by herself in this movie. She`s overhyped and made out to be some sort of goddess of beauty, which I personally don`t think she is. Perhaps it would do her good to stop giggling like an idiot and get her act together and err..learn how to ACT, for crying out loud!!

The movie`s storyline was weak, the dialogues were wishy-washy, the fight scene was embrassing, the songs were uninspiring (perhaps because they were not ``inspired`` as is usually the case;)), the lame attempt at adding coy, sexy dances were just that - lame. Overall, a complete waste of time.

//Succubus: And lakhi comes back home to anxious and GREETING parents. saadde punjaab ich ahojiiyan nu ziba kar chad-de ne. //

hahahah! So true. That was such a STUPID part in the movie that I was laughing when I saw it. And another thing: the sister had run away to elope with that white chap, and the older sister was sitting around calmly with her loverboy, who had come back to her after all, to propose. I mean if any sane person`s sister was out gallivanting with some stranger, she wouldn`t be sitting there looking pretty with her boy, accepting a marriage proposal!!

I hope people won`t waste their time and money watching this cr@p because it`s NOT worth it.

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somtimes a fillum is just a fillum .......

......... i will reserve my comments untill i have seen it .........but based on years of observation, most NRI`s and NRP`s are bumbling idiots - neither titar nor batair who, based on the alignment of planets, can be expected to do almost anything on any given day .................. also there is nothing wrong with a little gratuitous sex on the big screen - it is better than a troop of monkeys dancing ...........

Farzana, your article was amusing but don`t you think you are taking this rather too seriously? It`s Gurinder Chadha for God`s sake not Akira Kurosawa!! This is a light-hearted movie for the moronic masses not a work of art by Kiewslowski!

Enjoy the jiggling whilst it lasts!

``Message conveyed: men are understanding and non-interfering.
Message: Men are chivalrous, misunderstood and protective.
men are sensitive and above petty money-mindedness. ``

How true. Wonder why Farzana is getting so upset about such truisms.

Let us see…am I angry with Chadha? No. I just do not relish buffoonery.

#1 by Urstruly:

[but chosing Jane austine`s book for this movie means that she stands for the innocence of the human beings - my kind of gal.]

Awww…and just for saying this, you are my kind of guy!

#2 by nargileh:

Girl power would have worked had it at least been campy (as in ‘Bhaji…’). As for the “consumption metaphor”, with all the jalebis made into ‘characters’ one just had to rub it in :)

Kaurasach:

[Fact is stranger than fiction....Bollywood tries to immitate hollywood all the time.....they pay tributes to......and end up making cartoons of themselves.]

Bollywood shamelessly plagiarises, it does not pay tribute; when you see the actors making cartoons of themselves, you know that it is silly. Chadha expects us to look at her characters with interest and seriously believes they are true representative of what she is portraying. If she is merely a “disturbed” diaspora film-maker, then schizophrenia is a worthy topic to tackle. And you have got it wrong. She is not talking about NRI kids…she is talking about young women in India, the middle class in Amritsar. Times have changed, but the things I pointed out are relevant.

Re. NRIs changing their names…I know it does happen, but the parodied musical sequence is a ‘dream’ by the sisters. Why would they mis-spell his name? And if she wants to be authentic, then why did she not refer to the American William Darcy as ‘Bill’, as the Yankees do, and instead chose the Brit ‘Will’?

#7 by wayfarer:

The problem with us is that we complain when Westerners portray us as snake-charmers and beleaguered maharajas, but when a person of Indian origin does it, we assume s/he knows. Clearly they don’t.

Pity the Karnataka govt stand. But I thought it was only for Hindi films. You could see the English version that I saw. Or, you may rediscover the wonders of B.V.Karanth yet…

#8 by dost-mittar:

DMji, the Brits are going to see the movie to digest their ‘Chutney Mary’ vindaloo (those lame jokes about Bhangra dance being about fixing a light bulb and stamping a cockroach have made the rounds on the Net for months now) and legitimise anything they pay for. Therefore Ash becomes Hepburn for them. She could not even dress up as an Indian for the premiere.

[And what`s the Miss Jhumri Talaya contest?]

I was exaggerating an exaggeration…merely conveying that this is the real small-town, and they are smarter…

#9 by jang:

What world are you living in, hain ji? Fillum is released also as ‘Balle-Balle: From Amritsar to LA’. Your not spporting Chadha and fixing eyes on her every lachak?

[what has this to do with sammy and rosie except to let us know that you are cool enough to have watched it (or heard the name)?]

I have no fikar about being cool-shool. Here I was thinking it was tandoor garam…But seriously, the title is inverting the obvious – that they do not get laid. Transpose it with the subhead, “Why Gurinder Chadha should lay off India”.

Kewl, no?

#10 by ally:

In her latest interview Chadha says we have not understood her film. And yet she is gloating about the BO returns…then why is she worried?

#13 by gujju1:

Ash still thinks she has only just won the Miss World title, which is why the tiara is the only thing her head can hold…

#15 by soundmeister:

[there`s just one kiss...woh bhi masked by the sunset and which quickly turns into an embrace :))))]

See, this is the problem…tell the world that women from Indian middle-class homes can take holidays with men they barely know, titillate them and get cozy, but even in the privacy they cannot suck face. Hah, but then how would Chadha know what Indian women are really capable of!

#16 by Succubus:

The thing is that these film-makers do not know the difference between satire and caricature…the fight scene you pointed out…gawd, how I’d love to see Chadha and Mira Nair at it...

Peace ;)

One more thing... the title is thoroughly misleading... darcy and lalitha do NOT get laid in this movie... with the Austen-Bollywood combine, is that even thinkable...tauba tauba.... there`s just one kiss...woh bhi masked by the sunset and which quickly turns into an embrace :))))

FV

needless to say, excellent review. perfect analysis. Ash worked hard to put on 20 pounds to ``fit`` into the role and, well, everything else was such a complete MISFIT. The potrayal of asian culture; completely ludicrous.

Bend it like Beckham was genuine. original. close to reality; and B&P is not even in a miles length distance of being related to practical life. Surely, Indi-Pak mums with javaan daughters to wed, have to endure a lot of pain, stress, mental disturbance, blah blah in this regard, but this was outrageous. and STUPID!

Balraj, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT TO GODS CREATIONS....man u CANT see the guys face behind that fat-ass nose of his and jaya and he are a love at first sight? I mean, what the hell?
And lakhi comes back home to anxious and GREETING parents. saadde punjaab ich ahojiiyan nu ziba kar chad-de ne.

Martin looks lost. If he`s arrogant and this big shit- i mean shot, business person, doesnt he have the mind to make up his own decisions. It`s Lalita calling the shots, with the `wits, speech and tact` not to mention The `Intelligence`.

Chaddha is trying really hard!

And during their climactic confrontation, Lalita had the nerve to side with Wickham completely aware of the fact that the voluptuous Lakhi has taken off with him, till Darcy spills the beans on Wick`s manipulative hormones.

The cinema fight scene, WAS A REAL LAUGH AND UTTER EMBARASSMENT!

kaura,
#6 It was just a movie, laugh it off as another bad Bollywood flick...instead of dissecting and psycho analyzing Chada and her work...

err....thats wat A FILM REVIEW IS. and thats WHAT YOU DO IN A FILM REVIEW. especially when its sucha bloody disappointment. Much hype over pig-shit!

Bottom Line: Re-do a mixture of Mohabbatein & DDLJ, snip, edit, modify and replace Sharukh with Henderson.
The dhol was also present!

Farzana

Excellent critical analysis. Eveything you have said iabout the movie is true. Even though I admit I enjoyed the movie, these irritants kept popping up in the back of my mind throughout.

Still, the movie has its high points- Aishwarya looks gorgeous as usual (she turns 31 next month, who can tell!) Namrata Shirodkar as the eldest Bennett is well cast and very believable. The movie stays fairly faithful to Austen`s original, though the kitsch and stilted dialogue sort of get in the way. The secondary characters are nicely fleshed out, though some like sister ``Kie-ran`` could have been eliminated completely. I liked some of the jokes, Ash sweetly asking Kholi/Kohli ``Does your house have 3 swimming pools?`` being remniscient of the innocent humour Chadha displayed in ``Bend It...``

If Gurinder Chadha has a fault, it is that she panders thoroughly to stereotypes. In this case, these stereotypes are not even shared by her self-declared `taraget audience`. They are the `typical Indian` cliches that leave one wincing. The film could safely have been subtitled ``India through the eyes of an NRI``, cuz it aint the India we know!