A Wedding Night in Boston...

Hi Atif, excuse me for not having inter-acted on this board earlier but I was being kept busy lately.

I think this is a very readable article, with the truth and warmth that comes out of first-person accounts that speak about the best in all of us. Please keep it up. Even I started off writing funny articles at The Chowk but somewhere along the line got diverted into serious analysis.

A few (honest, curious, no hidden meanings, OK?) queries, if you would honour me with an answer please?

a) Would the Imam have been speaking in more than one language at the wedding ceremony, considering it was in Boston?

b) Bhangra is, lately, increasingly being done in India in track suits, do you notice that trend at your end too?

c) Hummers as departure vehicles . . . hmm, that`s good. Just curious, how much would it have cost?

d) And finally, why do you think your married friend would not accompany you on late night crawls anymore?

warm regards,

veeresh

what’s worse than men dying their hair?

men adjusting easily countable strands of hair from one end of their scalps to the other. to give a bit of oomph to their receding hairlines i suppose :)

atif:

after all these interacts i dont think anyone else needs to tell you that this is a lovely piece. the humour is as good as ever... even better than your ilogs.

theres no mehndi without a good 20-30 minutes of hardcore bhangra!

keep writing...

temporal #20 So we agree on the misshapen bodies, but disagree on the percentage of Pakistani women in possession thereof.

Let me then float another thought for your and other chowkies kind consideration:

Given that inside every misshappen, overjewelled, overdressed Pakistani woman is a thin, elegantly dressed woman who is screaming to be set free. A woman who seeks to dress elegantly and wears jewelry to delicately accentuate her feminity rather than to loudly declare her husband`s assets.

The proposition then is that all this thin woman needs to do in order to be set free is to put the misshappen body surrounding her on a a treadmill, start eating the amount of food that God meant to be eaten by humans rather than eating the amount meant for pigs, elephants, and cows.

Now, in order not to be tied up into a pretzel by any overdressed blonde pakistani woman, I hasten to add that the same applies to misshapen Pakistani men of course.

atif: I am in agreement with you, my friend. While a woman may dye her hair as she pleases and that is fine (as long as she keeps herself fit as well). But a man who dyes his hair is disgusting.

OK I give up. I was wrong all along. Mainu maaf karaan for my previously -ve remarks.
This is what converted me - ur response to Chooce Lee - If Dalair Mehndi is your international bhangra star, then we are fine being ``hilarious``
This is really so nice and you are so pretty too atif bhai.

rakaposh writes `` had a cake yesterday which was called...`chocolate Lava`...I microwaved it for 15 seconds before eating it and the pleasure was increased 20 fold. Your article somehow gave the same kind of pleasure. ``

Raka - only if you had added a scoop of heath-bar crunch ice cream on top of it, i would have been floored. but to be compared to a warm chocolate cake, my favorite, is an honor for which i find myself to be too small. But you should know that as I walked into the grocery store this evening, after having read your comment, and walked past the bakery section, I looked at the chocolate cake longingly - just like I always do. But this evening, I looked at it for a few extra seconds.

Fizza writes ``That`s when you realize your prayers for them are too deep to come out in words so you just get up and hug them because you know that no words can express how you feel.``

Fizza, this was just beautiful. You gave expression to my thoughts and feelings. As I watched Tabish getting married, i could think back at the time many years ago when we were boys and would get into all sorts of troubles. Our major focus was to stretch the curfew hours imposed by our parents as much as possible. To see Tabish now taking on the responsible role of a husband was a bit strange. Thank you for your kind words.

jang writes ``your writing is absolutely juvenile (i mean it as a compliment) and i am afraid, may vanish upon getting married. ``

I took it as a compliment. so you are saying that when i turn from a manboy to a boyman, i will lose it? but i think knowing me, i probably would still be a juvenile well into my 70s. I might grow-up when I am in my 80s, but no guarantees.

great!

sobia writes ``oye, isspeak faar yaarself..i have been published on chowk a few times...kahan say aa jaatay hain!``

Sobia you are like an onion. just when I think I have seen the end of it, there is another layer waiting to be peeled. whereas I am like a tomato - you get what you see. so u are a writer too. I stand corrected. need to read up on you.

saminasha my scientifically-categorized-caucasian friend!!! How are you! Need to get into some more intellectual conversations with you. but time has been pretty precious lately for me and my mongoloid, negroid and caucasian colleagues alike. You give me the run for the money. But the hustler that I am, I end up getting the best of you. NOT!

huma_mir thanks for your kind words. i think you are being too `nice`. on top of that you have become friends with `nice` girls like sobia, scout and succubus. thats really `nice`. and Tabish has read your sentiments. but he no think me nice. he bad boy. he no play with me no more. he stay home and ....

BruceLee writes ``I watched some Pakistanis doing bhangra at a wedding once and it was hilarious.``

hey listen big boy, there are only two countries in the world with bhangra as their folk dance - pakistan and india. 60% of pakistanis are punjabis. 20% of indians are punjabis. and you have the nerve to taunt OUR dance?! If Dalair Mehndi is your international bhangra star, then we are fine being ``hilarious``

suchetapotnis writes ``...being thankful to the Almighty for the existence of pretty girls! How many youngsters would actually be caught saying it in public! Good for you.``

sucheta - it is part of my belief system that it would have been a worse punishment if God had kept Havva in heaven and thrown Adam into this world alone. To have women in this world, it cost men one rib. It would still have been a great deal if it had cost us another rib - as well as an arm and a leg. fa`bay ayyay aa` la erubbakuma tokazzaybaan.

Haha! still laughing.Great article.Reminds me of a wedding I attended back in Wisconsin.No blonde and brunette pakistani girls though...i have yet to see a specimen....

best line: After a brief period of customary repulsion....lol...how true how true!

Sobia you wrote ``Oh by the way, I maintain that no abcd girl can match a lahorun when it comes to those ``jhatkas`` and ``matkas`` - take that as a challenge if you must! :)``.

hmmm...having personally seen Paki girls do bhangra in lahore and in boston, i know its a tough pick. But if I were to decide between the two, I would take both. I am a simple guy, and don`t mean no harm to any one. As Yogi Bera once said ``if you come across a fork in the road, take it``.

scout thanks for your kind words. BTW - do you realize that you have evolved into a mother figure at chowk? If I ever have a mother-in-law, I wish she be like you - da`dee (a punjabi word meaning tough). I need that to keep my wayward ways in check.

tahmed32 writes ``A misshapen overweight, over jewelled overdressed woman remains a misshapen overweight overjewelled overdressed woman regardless of the color of her hair.``

tahmed sahib - I think you have hit the nail in the head with this one. speaking of heads, i am A-ok with girls/aunties coloring their hair. I think having color in hair is an `in` thing for paki girls. They look nice too. However, what really creeps me out is when men do the same. A man should be a man, and not a titlee (butterfly). But thats just me talking.

Atif,

There are some great lines in this piece! Hope to read more soon!

Atif: You have a knack for taking simple ideas and stories and adding just enough humor and satire to turn them into an enjoyable read. As a reader, I was able to relate to your story, especially the long speech by the imam. We`ve all seen girls and aunties wearing sleeveless shirts put their duputtas on their heads when qazi saahib waxes eloquent about the benefits of marriage. (Not that I am against sleeveless shirts, au contraire...)

Also, thanks for not using unnecessarily long and overly complex sentences just to show off your mastery of the English language.

Very enjoyable reading ... hope to see more from you ....

One of my friend got married and then it was her valima.
She sat on the stage, giggling and telling all the nosey girlfriends the `` details` ...till later her khala zaad bhai walked upto the stage..and said..` khuda kai vastaay ab tau ulgee teen rows ko pata chul gaya hai..how many times you guys did it...`