Thanksgiving III

T Bhai

I have never really understood the concept of thankgiving, I mean its like the Pak Army giving free guided tours of the future hawkesbay Subarbs to the original baluch inhabitants who inhabited the villages in and around the now Pak Army occupied area, but than thats me. Also when the original pilgrims halaled those turkey`s in front of the indians, did the indians recognise any of their pet turkey at the time and uttered its name. I guess these little details have been forgotten and the world is suppose to accept thanksgiving as a universally accepted celebration, explain that to the fallujans.

Anyways, love the urdu bits, a lot of potential in your Urdu poetry i think, need to see some more of it.

rgds

Syed Ali

ah, it is so good to know that there are some mature souls on chowk. the question remains: where the heck are they?!

i shall return when they reappear, am afraid i will have to switch off the bajillion corporate sponsors in the meantime.

hamidm: It is not you who triggered this, so no need to apologize. I made the mistake of wasting time responding to this escapee from unplugged. Like many other turkeys this thanksgiving, he was burnt to a crisp by the mirror that I put to his foul-mouthed two-faced freak. I have of course already apologized to t for responding to this creep.

Anyway, good to see Huma Mir make a cameo appearance in #35. Something good comes out of everything.

and here we are
with flooded memories
of secretions and excretions
footnotes in the continuing travail
between rsaxena and tahmed

sorry, temporal - i promise never to mess with your poetry again

smoke smoke - someone open the fire hydrant and let tauheed bend over in front of it

anyone notice tauheed the naali ka keera do the ma behen routine on unplugged?

these are tahmed`s classy friends from across the border

``EAT HORSE S_IT YOU JACK ASS! take some cow dung too in that shit shake your gonna have in a while, throw in a couple of dung cupcakes and dung patties as well.

Whore.``

saxena: dont flatter yourself, scumbag. you are a pathetic characterless man who apologizes to pakistanis on unplugged for his slimy behavior and seeks their sympathy for his depression. Then you come to the front page to appease two taka hindu thugs by referring to pakistanis as vermin. A pathetic specimen indeed, from a country that seems to have more than its share of pathetic specimen.

your abusive language doesnt bother me since i have seen enough of your kind on chowk by now. i dont mind giving you a piece of my mind once in a while on unplugged though, just for the heck of it. not that i could care less one way or another about scum like you.

Temporal: my apologies to temporal for messing up this fine board dealing with this slimeball (he escapes from unplugged once in a while). No doubt he will twist and turn and try to wiggle out of this board, but never fear - we have strong anti-pollutants to deal with his kind :-)

i smell smoke coming from 1818 H Street, N.W. - someone save the peon

On #33: Oh yes. Over thanksgiving I took an Indian CREIP named saxena and burnt him to a crisp on unplugged, simply by holding the mirror to his lying, foul-mouthed face. I see the CREIP turkey is still squaking 24 hours later in #33 trying to take revenge. ha! ha!

More seriously: Go to hell, you abusive, foul mouthed two-faced confused little man from India.

rsaxena # 33 writes to tahmed ``stop trying to be funny...``

now coming from rsaxena, thats pretty funny :)

thamed #32

stop trying to be funny...you aren`t....just makes you look like an even bigger simpleton....leave the humor to hamidm...you can specialize in hypocrisy and lies

hamidm: Glad to learn of the aftermath.

I too held a funeral ceremony for the deceased turkey this morning - put it inside a coffin consisting of two bags of plastic bags, then (after saying a short muslim prayer), put his bones to rest by gently tossing the coffin 15 feet to the garbage can at the other end of the garage. The turkey landed on the edge of the can where it was dangled on the edge for a split second while the world watched with bated breath, and then gently slid into the garbage can. Gone. But not forgotten.

.... the aftermath ...

....... whan i walked into the kitchen this morning it looked sad and forlorn with the carcass of the turkey sitting on the counter as if picked by vultures and buzzards ............ upon further examination i discovered that there really isn`t enough meat on it to save for sandwiches so i unceremoniously dumped it out in the trash - no taps, no bugles ..........so inspite of protestations from some of the guests who have been for hajj and now think it is haram to celebrate this quintessential and beloved american holiday, everybody attacked the poor bird with the ferocity of a true believer beheading an infidel ..............

................mrs hamidm`s fine china was put away last night, handwashed by the bosnian slave girl, but i could see some backbreaking scrubbing of the pots and shining of the counters ahead while the girls go shopping when they get up around noon ......... maybe i can say i have to go in to work for a couple of hours and stop by fred`s to have some hair of the dog - but after nineteen years of marriage mrs hamidm has this uncanny ability to see through my feeble attempts at lying and cheating .......... i used to walk in a couple of hours late and say something like, `` i have this important client meeting in the morning``, and she would retort, ``put out the coat in the garage, it smells of cigar smoke``........ or i would say, ``i will be right back, have to run to the post office``, and she would say, `` don`t stay at mcormick`s too long and say hi to anil`` - the woman is clairvoyant! ........ scary! ................

........... anyway, the dinner was wonderful inspite of the one or two party poopers who insisted on saying their isha prayers and then had the audacity to ask me which way was kibla ........ how am i supposed to know!....... so i pointed them in any odd direction and let them have at it - serves them right if they get thrown in hell for praying to the water heater !......... somone else had brought another bird to feed the hungry horde ...... this bird was a disgrace - it looked rather pale and peaked sitting on the table next to my shiny brilliant brown and red gobbler lying legantly on a bed of romain lettuce surrounded by royal blue grapes ............ i almost cried when i had to stab it in the breast .............

.......... but before i commited the dastardly act, my daughter clinked her glass of non-alcaholic bubbly and set the stage for my little speech ............ so i talked about how we should be thankful for the bounty that we had received from this great land of the free and home of the brave ......... i reminded the crowd that they had done really nothing to deserve the meal that they were about to eat - they did not have to live in log cabins and drive across the continent in covered wagons and build the railroads and live without indoor plumbing .......... all of them had arrived in wide bodied jets, received federal or state funding for their graduate studies in engineering and medicine and had been catapulted into the top ten percent of the tax paying public even as their parents received ssi and medicare ................of course my daughter rolled her eyes when i mentioned dinesh d`souza and bobby jindal ......... groping for a good role model from the ummah, i mentioned fareed zakaria the great muslim wine connoisseur who one day might be the secretary of state ............. i get a lttle reckless after a few glasses of merlot, and so i went ahead and told my guests to think about the brave young men dying in iraq to bring freedom and democracy to the less fortunate ........... i got a standing ovation from the inebriated hindoo and my good republican friends, another roll of the eyes from my daughter (she is cute!), that look from mrs hamidm that i have grown to love over the years, and a pitiful painful look from the righteous who silently prayed for forgiveness and asked their lord to protect their children from the shaitaan ............

.............. now i have to go and clean up the mess - call it divine retribution

Urstruly:

You are absolutely correct if you add the qualification, ``according to my religion``.

Dost

The only correct and best ritual sacrifice of animals is that of four legged ones in the name of Allah.

Urstruly:
Dont believe hamidm. There is no ritual killing of turkeys during Thanksgiving. The only ritualistic killings I am aware of are of halal and kosher meats, and the now almost abandoned practice of sacrifices to the Kali goddess in Bengal.

Turkey is a traditional item at Thanksgiving both in Canada and the US but it is due to its convenience for cooking a meal for large family get togethers. For this reason, it is also a traditional item at X-Mas and the Easter. While Thanksgiving is certainly associated with big dinners, more and more people are now trying alternatives. Newspapers are full of vegetarian alternative recipes and the horrible hindoos feel free to substitute turkey with daal makhnis, shahi paneers and halwa poories.