Bubbles

Thank you all so much for reading and for the kind words.

Jawahara & Rahul - every person who`s ever read this piece agrees that it needs some conversation and so do I but the problem is that it was originally written as something entirely different from a short story and now the conversation these two people might have is one that I cannot write because they resist meaningful conversation. That`s one of their primary problems in the story and I`ve lived with them for so long in so many different forms that it is now my problem with them as well. Maybe I`ll revisit them in 20 yrs and the conversation will come naturally. You`re right though, this could be a better peice.

Harish, Temporal and Anjali, thank you for reading... and writing in. I really appreciate it.

--Amrita.

I totally agree with jawahara, though I dont think that this is a teeny weeny criticism.There is actually no show and all tell. You have a good vocabulary and you have a story to tell as well, but your style of writing needs a lot of improvement.You have used a lot of compound sentences which are jarring for the narrative. This first line is almost atrocious; it would leave a normal person out of breath.

Amrita,

This is a brilliantly written story. I had been missing Shandana Minhaz, lost to chowk for too long. Your prose is wonderfully evocative, and I liked the meditative narration.

Please write more often.

PS: Please do not be disappointed with lack of interractions here. A lot who do not interract read.

Excellent!! Amrita. Many (man and woman) will relate too:-8)

I never miss reading your short stories. Keep them coming.

I really enjoyed reading this Amrita. Measured, reflective prose. The only teeny weeny criticism I can offer is that there might be too much tell and not enough show. I would have liked to hear the characters interact, to find out some things through what they say rather than what they think. Not too much of that, just a bit.

On the whole though, this is rather wonderful.

Welcome!

I really enjoyed reading this Amrita. Measured, reflective prose. The only teeny weeny criticism I can offer is that there might be too much tell and not enough show. I would have liked to hear the characters interact, to find out some things through what they say rather than what they think. Not too much of that, just a bit.

On the whole though, this is rather wonderful.

Welcome!

I really enjoyed reading this Amrita. Measured, reflective prose. The only teeny weeny criticism I can offer is that there might be too much tell and not enough show. I would have liked to hear the characters interact, to find out some things through what they say rather than what they think. Not too much of that, just a bit.

On the whole though, this is rather wonderful.

Welcome!

Amrita:

welcome!

...harish is right..oft times the number of interactions is inversely proportional to......khair, pls. keep sharing

lve

t

Amrita,

This is a brilliantly written story. I had been missing Shandana Minhaz, lost to chowk for too long. Your prose is wonderfully evocative, and I liked the meditative narration.

Please write more often.

PS: Please do not be disappointed with lack of interractions here. A lot who do not interract read.