’NO’ to Ostentatious Displays and Wasteful Expenses

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kaurasach, a lil racist aren`t we...everything has to be boiled down to Pakistan vs. India....when that`s not even the issue at hand...the issue at hand is how there is a fallacious link made in this article between dowry, wedding fanfare, and the ``un-subordination`` of women.

duh not every law is followed, why that even exists her in the US!

Kader:

Sorry to say this, but banning a few meals from a valima and a baraat are not going to change the perception of females being subordinate members of society is South Asia. What it will do however is, alleviate the stress of parents wanting to kill themselves because they popped out to many females.

BTW, it is true that is law is widely ignored in Pakistan. Even meager wealth is enough to buy the elitest out of following this law.

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Good intentioned this law may be but in actuality there are a lot of loopholes around this law.For instance booking a hall in a hotel and declaring a kids haqiqa or a birthday party.Its not like government agents run around looking for such discrepencies.
But then again some families do utilize this oppurtunity to not spend too much money on weddings.Lack of food discourages party crashers, distant/disliked relatives, and offcourse less attendance.the people who truly care show up..hehe

Kaura
Man youre messed up.I have two words for you you damn Nazi : Firing squad.And that too with a bb gun so its more painful.And takes longer.

The article is more like stupid solutions for stupid people and stupid problems ??

If a rich man wants to spend all of his money to show off his wedding let the guy recycle his money. The wise thing for the not-so rich is to withstand social pressures and to live within their means. Most of these problems are due to the unwillingness of common people to think logically.

Kaurasach is a true RSS warrior, preparing the grand take over of the `Aryan Race` in the name of Hinduism. Phindians, at least one of you Indians in a country of 1 billion is talking some sense.

What is this Phindian secularism you are talking about? The one which attacked the holiest shrine of Sikhs and the one which took down the Babri Masjid and and the genocide agaisn`t the poor Indian Muslims? Damn, Kaurasach, are you a moron?

Salil

I appreciate your good intentions.

But the poor in the village look forward to marriage, a happy occasion, and a few days of good food.

For citywallas, either one has to eat at the untimely hour of 7-8 PM or starve for three hours at marriage drinking tea and eating ice cream. Then come back at 11-12 PM, open fridge, pull out some cold curry and eat it with double roti. The digestion system is wrecked, the next day is messed up.

I would rather have the state stay away from the marriage, nikah, moon sighting, circumcision, prayers, haj, zakat etc. It also need not enter our bed sheets to check our morality. It better do things it is supposed to do - supply water, electricity and provide jobs.

As for the Supreme court, the less said the better.

But I fully appreciate your good intentions.

NHK

#8 by haroonellahi

Not so fast my friend...Kaura is a Sikh. Get that into your hollow head, ok?

And yes..we are not secular, as you so eloquently put it, but then, The Great Islamic Republic of Pakistan killed more Muslims in Bangladesh than India ever did, so your point is what?

I wonder why emotions flare up so easily when someone says `India & Pakistan` in the same breath.

There are many things which Pakistan can learn from India and there are many things that india can learn from Islam & Pakistan.

bbabu, who on earth has told you that people think logically. None of us do, no matter how much we can profess to do so. Our society has a bigger impact on our upbringing and behavior than you are giving credit to and secondly, perhaps if you`re strong enough to resist, not everyone is a maverick. Given to ostentations for centuries of the Desi culture, Pakistan is still finding its roots of Islam It`s still more like India than a truly modern Islamic nation.

This ban has eased a lot of pressure on marrying families, b/c now the ban can be cited as an excuse if the people have no money to spend. This is in stark contrast to the families literally demanding the most choicest dishes and so forth at dinners, which to add to the already extravagant spendings, literally can bankrupt people. Plus, it keeps people away who really have nothing better to do than comment on the food.

In India as well as in Pakistan, the rich constitute a very small majority. It`s those who`re nto rich, whom we should consider. The rich have always done whatever they wanted. But as long as their doing it in their homes, who cares.

Mr. Kaura, i really don`t know what has fuelled such thinking, and who knows maybe you`re even right....but at least be open to suggestions and try to lesson the hatred. It`s very easy to incite people to kill each other. Any idiot can do that. It`s harder to forge bonds and there are very few people who`re willing to try it.

Do you know that over 12,000 Billion Rupees are spent WorldWide Everyday on Defense. Eradicating Polio only took 4 hours of that money and people the world over benefitted. I`d rather have all that money being used for good, rather than engage in something that no one benefits from. Man is the same, whether they`re Desi, American, Jew or an Athiest. We`re all alike. Only our thoughts differ us from each other.

comments welcomed.

harish_hyd and haroonellahi:

What point is made when you guys go around throwing allegations of injustices by one and the other?

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As Pakistani`s I don`t really see how we can talk about injusticves elsewhere in the world just because we not only don`t treat Hindus well, we also don`t treat various sects of Islam, Christianity, other sects well either. It seems that Pakistan exists to serve the rich, and the army.

The fact that the author addresses this article ``as a lesson to Indian Muslims`` is more of an insult to them than anything else. The insinuation that as Muslims they are the ones only engaged in the practise of dowry is a complete generalisation. Frankly, I don`t think this law has anything to do with Islam or wasteful expenses for that matter. First, the laws in Pakistan are as always applied very selectively. Second, if the problem of dowry and ``wasteful expenses`` is widespread, people will just find other means to spend and men will find other women to marry.

With so much in the country contrary to any accepted norms of human propriety and equality, is another half-thoughtout law (based on someone`s version of Islam) rarely implemented law really needed? If the people in power actually wanted to better anything in this country, they would first pay attention to basic things such as water, safety, collecting taxes from the rich and not just the salaried, education, law and order etc.

With every single passing day of knowing Pakistan, and the politics and laws that now exist there it is clear that those who are constantly trying to use the guise of Islam with everything in the country are actually doing a great disservice. I am left with the impression that any law that is supported through the mentioning of Islam is self serving, harmful, and doesn`t really end up solving anything.

It is sad our judges indulge in useless unforceable things. They do not pay attention to major problems of country when in their courts. I do not like idea of poverty worshipping. What is bad in spending the earned money ? What is there to be ashamed of creation of wealth and feeding good food and liquid refeshments to your friends on occasion of your son`s or daughter`s marriage. It is not fault of rich and able people they make good living.
This unhonorable judges laid tradition started by justice Muneer to approves take overs. It is but natural when they can not do any meaningful things start indulging in stupid things. The judges declared once present marriage ceremonies are like hindu marriages, what this judges have to comment about what people to lawfully and peacefully.
Our country need help from usa not in dollars as they soon are gone but people who will interpreat constitytion and force it and put generals to shame.
These laws are not appropriate as I do not want to say laws are wrong. Also dowry laws are unforceable. Many times you are forced to give money . Suppose you have stupid halfmad son you need to get bride and money as a lubrication will help. Or suppose you have ugly daughter and no man even wants to get in vicinity of 50 meters you have problem. Now some are so dark you can make them at night due to darkness. I met once man.The man was desperate he said he is looking for son in law and I said I will keep attention. He was desperate he said if boy marries his daughter he can give his other 3 daughters as dowry. I told him please do not utter even word about dowry as when he sees her he can get depressed and if you mention of other three daughters he will be dead and news will spread.
I told him to use lots of money, put lots of powder, etc. But man was not god his daughters buried him in few years. He would have saved if he had money but poor are poor and whiners. He was full problems he used to come late and excuse was always about marriage, he was lazy and complaint all time about daughters marriage. Now that was his fault but others had to suffer. If he had lots of money problem could have been taken care.
I met once nice liberal couple. They were liberal with others money took money for sons marriage but were not interested in giving money they did not wanted to follow hindu traditions. When some body inquired about change of principle. He was liberal said ``they follow principles but changing principle is allowed if you find intelluctually wrong``. That is right pure secular liberal attitude. All lafangebazi and lafangas.
All its bad for economy as hospatility business suffer and mostly poor people are deprived of their wages. It is sad rich are treated as nearly criminals and poor are considered as people of virtue, wrong they have virtues as they have no opportunity to be corroupt. Anyway its getting late. I wish all readers good happy new 2005.

Well writer seems young maturing man. He is going through ``socialist`` phase and will mature to normality . Time is great cure. Most socialist end up in usa not in China advantage to China. At that age people donot read any books with big names Das Capital, Anti Duharin, Hegel, dilectical materialism, great works of comrade Joseph Stan or thoughts of Mao and all heady stuff. But they look at covers and get all stuff and start pontification. They should read State and revolution and left communism, infantile disorder by Lenin. But they do not have time to0 read but just watch tv and write advice to rich people. And rich people have no time to read such good advice and waste time . He wants to creat wealth for him his family. There are good leftists like Mrs Roy company they are aginst america but hop on airplanes and when they come back they will preach disadvantage of air pollution by usa and planes and tell half naked hindus of India to shun wealth as they can get spoilt by riches. I have heard Kerala produces Reds in India like mices. All types of red bookish revolutionaryis writing big articles. We should keep these away from Pakistan as they are worst than Army general type disease. Leftism breeds imcompetance, whiny small rats .
Again writer... Please give that you advice and things to poor Indians . we want unhealthy expences and displays and lots of wasteful expenses. I hope all world does not stop wasteful expenses as otherwise Indians will need PL480 again to feed fast breeding Indians.
Good 2005 and good `` Ostentatious Displays and Wasteful Expenses`` and god save world from do gooder `` Salil Kader`` type people. I feel depressed now as man is serious.
All lafangebazi to impress some gf. I am tried and depressed by this man Diatribe against wasteful expenses.

Dear Siyam, I think you missed this line of my essay: ``Dowry and ostentations, which have become synonymous with weddings of all communities across India..`` I have said ``all communities`` and obviously the comment doesnt single out a community. The reason I directed some part of the essay towards Indian Muslims is because the judges quoted the Holy Quran while making the judgement and thus it is relevant to Muslims of India too. I apologise if any IM felt that i was making an insinuation against the community. That was definitely not the intention. I am an IM and very well understand that the internal problems of the community. Instead of berating the laws and the law making mechanism, i think we need to be optimistic and experiment with certain laws. Who knows one of them might just work? That laws never work or are broken frequently shouldnt be reason not to have laws!