Black Longings

FV I also want to add my wah-wahs to the long list.

I would also like a add a thank you for writing an article with an feet-on-the-street touch. The contrast of this article to a past opinion piece of new-stories regarding a quadraplegic english physicist and his (abused)relationship to his mate is .. well the contrast between idle musings about news articles and invaluable insight from on-the-street experience.

Lot of people have really ugly folks and autistic or otherwise retarded people (much more often than deaf-dumb-blind) in their families who can relate to this. It gets worse as many of these problems are genetic thus casting a deep gloomy shadow on ``rishta`` market.

Farzana,

Wow. So beautifully constructed. Wonderful and light...like a stir fry.

Umer M.

Interesting article Farzana. Couldn`t help wondering however, if you`ve written about such issues before or did you need the crutches of the movie ``Black`` to give voice to your thoughts and experiences?

Simran

Farzana,
Excellently put together. I must admit it is a subject I have never given any thought to. I would like to offer up another opinion though; rather than focusing on the sexual or romantic needs of disabled people, we as a society should first and foremost try and focus on their other needs. We need to integrate them into society as productive, capable participants, of which I am sure that most, if not all, have the potential. We need to be able to provide them with education, opportunities and above all, we need to treat them as equals, not pity them. I remember once I stood up from my seat in a train to give it to a young girl who was blind, her response was ``I am blind, but my legs are as good as yours``.

Re: # 3 (teshah)
Yours is one of those situations where no one is guilty of any wrongdoing yet suffering continues. I must say I can`t wrap my mind around what you mean by ``this compassionless society of the Pakland where even Dr Shazia has not been spared``.

Irfan.

‘Black’ is an outstanding film, but it was more than that to me. I tried to learn sign language to communicate with the deaf-mute childhood friend I mentioned, but I used my own signs…yet so many jokes left unsaid, so many thoughts left mid-stream.

Since I have taught the visually-impaired, I got close enough to watch them ‘see’…there are issues others than the one I have dealt with, but this is what is rarely spoken about.

As nb said, it is possible for the teacher to exploit, but the scene of Michelle in the film was heart-wrenching. When I was following up K’s case, there were insinuations about how certain heads of institutes take advantage…there was a blue-and-cry about my bringing K’s exploitation to light

Firdaus Kanga, to my knowledge, is alive and well in England.

Teshah: I know how tough it must be for you and your daughter. Mental illness comes with several other problems. I wish I had included a segment on this; two of my close friends are schizophrenic and I am often at a loss trying to adequately comprehend what they want and what they don’t. One is in fact a reader who has been in touch with me for the past 11 years. Imagine, with all the intelligence that they possess, they have to just lead lives on the edge…I suppose all of us do at some level. Yes, society is compassionless, but one person’s love often conquers all.

Thank you to all those who could relate with any aspect of this write-up.

HN…the guilt…yes, the guilt, more of it in my personal space…

Ras: Look forward to reading your article and meeting you someday.

Farzana

Very intense. Lots of sensitivity & compassion.

nhk

Just beautiful!!

Farzana,

A beautifully meditative piece. On a sensitive, and undermined subject. I noticed how well you brought in the individual guilt characteristic of such a probe. I loved this one.

This is lovely. And somehow without even knowing one has to
be bold to share such emotions.

Farzana Versey,

This is your most impressive work yet on CHOWK!

As one who often thinks along similar lines ( just finished a

piece on two special education schools in Lahore)

I want to thank you for writing this for us here since

I could never be this articulate.

And as one who knows a little bit about the world of the

disabled, making us think about aspects of their lives

that we do not often see is the first step

towards removing our own blindness.


Too bad that I could not meet you in India.

Next time Mumbai may be a stop in our travel plans.


Ras

Re: # 3
Thanks for sharing this. I can see how you feel about it, there is no easy answer. In some countries, people like your child might have friends of the opposite sex from their own circles, but I accept that would be impossible in Pakistan. Your family is very brave to have done their best. I wonder why God tries some people so much, but may He bless your daughter and look after her.

a really movind article. my heart goes out to those who may seem different but are just the same as you and i. thanks for reminding us of these strong willed people and their hopes and desires much like those we all are full of.

nb

`` Even those with a mental disability still have desires, and that is even harder to deal with
than a physical disability``.

You are right dear nb. I have a personal experience as I have a daughter, aged about 27 years, who is epileptic and mentally retarded. Her elder brother is a surgeon, a cousin physician and a Bhabi, a doctor, but they all could not help stop her fits. I took her even to London for treatment and got her admitted in a Special School there, but she could hardly make any improvement for six months. In those days some scandles were reported in the British press about abuse of some special children by their teachers. So I got scared and got my daughter out of the school which was a wonderful institution otherwise. I love my daughter. In fact I live for her and due to her but I feel that she has now needs and desires which do need fulfilment which is beyond us to help espcuially in this compassionless society of the Pakland where even Dr Shazia has not been spared.

Is Firdaus Kanga still alive?
Of course the desires of the handicapped are the same as anyone else. What is unfortunate is that they are so vulnerable to exploitation, like Michelle. Though the teacher might kiss her because she wanted him to, as a teacher, he is in a position of trust and would have to be careful about what he does. Even those with a mental disability still have desires, and that is even harder to deal with than a physical disability.

Great movie, BLACK, and can only suggest that the performance by the young Michelle is simply amazing. That as well as a ``must see`` for all Amitabh fans.

Am going to see this movie again to catch some of the nuances.

As for the desires of the disabled, well, I would think they are probably stronger? So who is disabled, then?