Am I Insane?

In my opinion, this story should not be taken off the front page.
Just because a man can be petty does not mean that a woman has to suppress her feelings and self expression.
Which century is this?

So at last the real emma has appeared, trying to portray the travails of a pakistani woman as if it is something similar to that of others in non-muslim countries. Take it from me amma, according to pak law a man can have 4 wives. Try and read about one samia sarwar, she wanted to divorce her husband and she was killed by her own father, and no case was filed, because no crime was committed. Think of who is your ``Wali``, try to have nightmares about honour killings.
You are so divorced from pakreality that it is a tragic joke. Follow the path of Samia Sarwar in the name of pak honour, in the name of pak interactors on chowk who are leading you to the honour killing path.

Emma,

My sincere advice to you would be to kindly ask the chowk editors to remove this article from their site (not just from the front page but also from archives). If you are really serious about reconciliation with your husband then trust me you don`t want him to ever read this piece. We (men) are very petty and take offence at the smallest of things. In this article you have accused him (and even more importantly his family) of being hostile and unsophisticated. Even if your accusations have merit, no man would appreciate having his marital dirty laundry paraded and his parents badmouthed on the internet. Think also of your bhabhi, how would she react and feel if/when she finds out what you think of her parents, she who, as you state has nothing to do with this unfortunate affair. There is a time for speaking one`s mind and there is a time for being diplomatic, in my humble opinion, now is the time for the latter.

Sincerely,
Irfan.

=== Interact Removed ===

conceding to demands like sitting at home,selling off ur car etc. is not a wise thing to do.I know you are trying to save your marriage at all costs,but you should know within your heart whether this marriage is worth saving(for you)?
Someone floated the idea of having a baby.....This would be the most foolish thing to do in these circumstances.Try to get him into direct honest communication and dont get into playing games.Compromising to this extent may work today,but will seal your fate for the rest of your life.
Wishing you all the best.

Good luck, Emma. it looks like things will work out for you.

EMMA:

you are a brave sould with a kind heart.

you did the right thing by writing it up on chowk. at times when there`s no way forward in a tunnel of one`s pesonal life, sharing provides the spark to keep moving ahead. and i tell you what, if he doesnt wish to live with you; you shouldnt either. life means more. more of every thing and yes, there still will be life after or without him which will offer you more disappointments, accomplishments, sanity and insanity...just about everything!

and this final line`s for you:

``Freedome lies outside of the fence we build for ourselves``

good luck and you shouldnt fail!

``Like most Pakistani men, Jawad is a very liberal guy when it comes to himself. He drinks, takes his occasional weed, eyes up gals.I discover these traits after our marriage. ``

The above is the most revealing set of lines in the whole article...indeed they should have been the preamble to this artcile......

Hello.
I am Emma, I dont think i need to produce my Birth Ceritificate , if anyone in doubt let me know i will fax it to you.
Im sorry i could not reply to any of the interacts because i was unaware the article had been published, and as weekends for me, mean to sit at home and cry about the mess...i missed out on a helluva lot.
Well thank you all for erm ..giving me your views on the whole situation.
Believe me this is not funny a fictional story, it is about my life even chowk staff sent me a mail saying...are you really that naive???
Why did i put it on the web you ask...its called Desperate measures guys. Anything which would make me see light...or learn from other experiences. Believe me if real life when you tell someone your tragedy..most people get a kick out of it..and have all sorts to say..or just go around spreading it..like its about Bradd Pitt & Jennifer Anistons break up. Ive learnt from experience...its not sympathy you get..just calls asking you so was there at a family wedding?..did he talk to you..its like a Soap episode..where everyone is waiting for me to turn around and slap a guest saying you Bi%``* i know your pregnant with my hubby`s child...*Scream *HOW could you to this to me then run out.
Trust me people have said on my face..so when are the fireworks gonna go start..??
Anyway thats my reason for publishing the article.

So i did expect reactions like this..as for my being stubborn..and snotty all i have to say is maybe i was so...before i got married..so he knew my personality but that is not a very strong trait..it is certainly not teh case NOW....i CHANGED...ok..maybe once he left ...i do not look down on his family..believe me i do respect his Parents iv never looked down on them..but all i was saying was they still blame me...They will not once admit to me there son is doing anything wrong it kind of makes them feel insecure if they side with me..which is all i need.
As for his side of the story i have had many people speak to him who came back with this answer that..he just DOESNT want to live with me...he just thinks we are too different..no he doesnt have any other story..thats why i find it so hard...
Does he have another woman YES. but he is so secretive..i just dont have any proof..
As for my brother that was his initial reaction...now he asking me to come back , Jawad is not worth it. Bhabi knows the whole situation now, her and Bhai will not be separating or anything silly like that,she will not suffer..even she has spoken to Jawad. He has now decided to think about it.He has asked me to leave work, sell my car and disconnect my mobile...he thought i would not agree to his demands..but i HAVE..after this he will think whether it can work or not.
Talk about physical abuse...not his style..its the mind, heart and soul he wants to damage.
This is not a Dear Abby story..this is just someone pouring out their heart to chowkies, just because she knows other people may have been in the same situation just like ana and HP have mentioned. I would like to know how to deal with it from others point of view.
Trust me this was an honest question whether i am insane to stick around.
I have left work now am at home, Jawad will be coming home on the weekend..lets see how it goes...
Thank you for your responses. Sorry i could not interact earlier.

a for apple

j for delusional?

This article and the responses from pakistanis have set the high standard for pakistani pretenses. In the land of tripple talak here is the talk of a man asking his wife to divorce him. The law graduate from USA practicing in pakistan, that is the limit, is there any kind of relevance in any area for US laws in pakistan. A few eeks ago there was a news item, students from achison college raped the 18 year old wife of an 50 year old teacher at atchison college. Then the talk of a 27 year old pakistani globe trotting the post 9/11 world.

How stupid of the pak interactors not to mention the hoodood. The level of sofistry if beyond contempt.

Hamidm:

Please do not add fuel to the fire by providing dysfunctional links. That`s very impolite.

If all of the tens of millions of Syeds, Pirzadas et al swarming around: so-called descendants of Prophet Mohammad in South Asia are indeed His family members than He must have had some super extraordinary reproductive family members.

This exponential lineage expansion must be one of the socio-biological wonders still to be deciphered. The riddle becomes even more grotesque by taking into account that Prophet Mohammad had no male heir.

Even if one does accept some indirect linkage, some weird genomic connection how come all of those had settled in Indo-Pak subcontinent?

And if one does accept the classifications given by South Asian Syeds than the next question should be: are we not all descended through the same Adam and Even and does this fact not make all of us Syed?

Donald Trump in his autobiography “Trump: The Art of the deal” writes about “Lucky Sperm Club” = those who just happen to be born in the right mileu by the virtue of their parents. Syeds, assuming them correct in their description, by that definition have taken this club into absurdum.

So Emma Bibi, what’s so special to be [fake] syed while claiming to be “sophisticated”, if I may ask?

Thanks

Samina,

The answer is to be found within the treasure chest that is the unplugged.

Umer M

Emma,

I`m sorry if you were offended. It was intended to be a joke.

Umer M.

Umer,

Please explain your claim that all answers reflect experiential knowledge and not the inclusion of common sense and daily doses of Oprah and Dr. Phil?