Am I Insane?

Irfan,
I won`t be revisiting this board and the subject under discussion.
Forgot to add that in my last post.
Take Care.

Emma Nisa,

I believe that oppression is worse than death. I do not mean to say that if being oppressed one must commit suicide. For liberty comes in many forms. There is no one way that leads to salvation, but rather there are many. But one thing is certain. And that is if one wills to attain liberty one must either escape oppression or marginalize as it means to or affects one`s way of life. For the ultimate goal of humankind is to make oneself better foremost mentally and spiritually.

Life is hard enough for women in an egoistic patriarchical society like Pakistan where women despite Islam purportedly prevailing are abused in the name of religion and denied their rights. Islam in its pure essence is pro liberty, pro life, pro salvation.

It is my view that women have rights which foremost God has sanctified for them to possess. Who is a man to dictate a woman to turn against her self, her freedom, her transcendence? Who is a man to counter what God has deemed just and fair?

Towards this end, if you feel that you are being maltreated consult our glorious Quran and involve people whose thoughts are well grounded in `deen`. Make the effort and InshaAllah God will guide you and those in your company who will to work righteousness. Most of the time, both husband and wife need to make sacrifices and bend their natures formed from conforming casually to societal norms without many times heeding to their normative meaning of either being right or wrong. But one thing remains certain. And that is that the oppressor, if any, must either retreat or give in. The best thing you can do at this time is to follow the truth in you that is your deep most certainty.

May God help you, guide you, protect you. But above all, may God be by you.

Peace!

well !! i want to give you just a few points what i extracted from my life,,,,,, first of all you need to be brave enough to confront the situations,,, what will happen at max??? if your brother asks his wife to leave because of you then its his fault not yours, he should act maturely..... second thing is that what will you get in the end if u r not willing to leave that husband? why are you degrading yourself? if you wont respect yourself no one else would....who is he ? just a HUSBAND!! which are taken as gods by us(girls) although they dont deserve....if someone cant care for you cant understand you then u dont need to mess ur life....dont waste your life.... you may find someone better than him, he doesnt deserve you,,,, and what will u get by sacrificing? will your brother and bhabi give you a gold medal? NO they would never. Go and find ways in your life, marriage is not life, its just a part of life,,,,like many other things some and go,,,few things suite you and few dont.... every one makes mistakes,,,,its not a big problem.... but you should not let yourself suffer from a wrong decision,,,if you find u made a wrong decision then just correct it by anyway, dont suffer. you get life only once dont waste it cuz of someone who does not want to understand you. time passes leaving behind regrets !!! try to find other colors of life which may be more beautiful than those which you are trying for in vain.

Typical watta satta story. When you guys will grow up. What your brother has to do with it? He should try to live his own life. Remember he will not feed you forever and if he wants to send his wife back its not out of your love, its just an excuse to get out of his own marriage. So pack your bags if you want to and live your own life if thats what you feel like doing. Think about yourself only.

ok Emma,

this sounds like something i had in the past...my advice to u is to leave him and try to find another man..even if he is not pakistani...any muslim...
if u husband has money which he does he will find lots of other girls willing to sleep with him and seems like that`s all he needs and thats fine...have self respect to actually do whats best for u...and leave him
if he is not willing to work on the marriage, why should u?

good luck :)

Dina.