Anonymity for Sexual Assault Victims

Re: # 30

My God! It is insulting to my mother and the nation as a whole to call MM, who feels honoured by publicising herself as a raped woman, `the mother of the nation`. This is also insulting to Mohtarimmah Fatimah Jinnah, the true `Madar e Millat`.

I am proud of being born in a village which I love most of all the places in the world though I had to pass only a few years there. I never came across or heard a case of rape like that of MM in my village as people there would either kill or be killed in case of a rape instead of publicizing and encashing it or going to courts.

BTW, who is this Kristof, an American perhaps where bastards galore now. So bastards are now to give us new values as an adjunct to their New World Order. May God help us.

Re: # 27

First of all, I did not mean to be personal. I care less about your mental situation. That`s your problem and I hope you can find a proper solution for that. I do have issues with some of your flippant remarks about MM. Just because you are a villager that does not mean that you have to exhibit the typical male villager`s mentality on Chowk. No doubt MM is getting support from the White guys and not the villagers of your kind. You should feel proud that she is being considered as the Mother of a Nation. After all, there are not that many male peasants who have been able to change the image of a country.

Mother of a Nation -
Mother of a Nation
By NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF
Published: April 2, 2006
MEERWALA, Pakistan

I don`t know whether journalists felt it around
the young Gandhi or Martin Luther King Jr.,but around Mukhtar Mai I sense the presence of greatness.
Mukhtar, who also goes by the name Mukhtaran Bibi, is the young
peasant woman — she doesn`t know exactly how old she is — who three years ago was gang-raped on order of a local tribal council.

Instead of killing herself, as was expected of any self-respecting
woman, she prosecuted her attackers, used compensation money to start schools, and started a nationwide revolution to empower
women.
Every day, poor and desperate women and girls with tear-smudged cheeks arrive in this remote and impoverished village, seeking sanctuary. Every night, up to a dozen of them sleep on the floor in Mukhtar`s bedroom beside her. (She has given her bed to the principal of the girls` elementary school she started here.) One visitor is a lovely 7-year-old girl who breaks down in huge, heartbreaking sobs as she tells how the servant of a rich family raped her, and how the rich family then threatened to kill her and her family unless she recanted her accusation.
Then there`s Fauzia Bibi, a 30-year-old who was raped and tortured by eight men for two days to punish her family because her uncle supposedly had an affair with a woman from their clan.

The attackers are threatening to kill her entire family unless she recants. Inspired by Mukhtar, these women are standing their ground. They are risking their lives — and, in anguish, those of their loved ones — to prosecute their attackers. It`s a lesson in courage and civics I`ll never forget. ``As long as I`m alive, we`ll proceed with this case,`` said Shabana Mai, the mother of the 7-year-old. ``Of course, if they cut my head off, there`s nothing I can do.``

Mukhtar arranges legal assistance for these women, puts them in
touch with aid groups, and looks to their other needs. One woman
arrived without a nose; cutting off a nose is a traditional Pakistani
way of punishing women. Mukhtar has arranged three surgical
operations and, above all, the prosecution of the man who did it.
With her faith in the civilizing power of education, Mukhtar also goes door to door and browbeats parents into sending their daughters to her school. ``Sometimes I`ll make a deal with the parents — I tell them, `You send two of your daughters to my school, and I`ll let you keep two others at home,` `` she
explained.

The school goes up to the fourth grade, though next year it will include fifth grade as well. The academic star is Sidra Nazar, a 9-year-old who ranks first in the fourth grade.

But a month ago, Sidra`s parents pulled her out of school. Her clan was in a dispute with another, and to resolve the matter she was offered as a bride to a 20-year-old man in the other clan. Outraged, Mukhtar went to Sidra`s parents and raised a stink.
Her meddling infuriated Sidra`s parents, but they dropped the marriage plans, and Sidra is back in school. ``I want to be a doctor,`` she told me. I had the honor of addressing the graduation ceremony for Mukhtar`s school. (I didn`t get an honorary degree, perhaps because Mukhtar thought I would be offended by being made an honorary fourth grader.) But another commencement speaker, a Pakistani human rights activist named Khalid Aftab Sulehri, said it best: he described Mukhtar as ``the mother of the nation.`` That`s what I find so inspiring about this woman. Hers is as sordid a story of evil and victimization as
one could find, and yet — by dauntless courage, by the magic of the human spirit — she has transformed it into an uplifting vision of hope.

My last two columns recounted the story of Aisha Parveen, a young Pakistani who escaped from the brothel in which she had been imprisoned for six years. The courts were threatening to send her back to the brothel owner, who planned to kill her.
In the last few days, everything has changed. The police have dropped all charges against Ms. Parveen, and instead they have arrested the brothel owner on charges of kidnapping her and attempting to murder her. The Pakistani government is now behind Ms. Parveen and giving her 24-hour police protection, and she`s thrilled — and thankful for the support from so many readers. Now for the million other Aisha Parveens around the world. ...

Nauman, I never knew about these laws. Are they crazy? This is just great, keep the identity of the victim anonymous. Why? Why can`t she get up on her own and say, ``It was ME they have messed with!`` Where is the option of the victim`s choice? Especially, if s/he is the one hiring a prosecutor to fight the case. Why should they be ashamed, as you say. I just don`t understand. People who choose to abandon the victim when her case becomes publicized are cowards. If the victim is brave enough, she should know better. The world is full of cowards.

It is laws like this that discourage assaulted people from raising their voices, and encourage voices around them to quiet down the assaulted.

It doesn`t mean I don`t understand why they might have come up with it. I have met women in Pakistan who get molested/raped in public but prefer to stay quiet because of all the harm it will bring to their families and friends, and the fear that the molester/rapist will get away with it no matter what she does. We all know how seriously flawed our laws are. I still don`t think she should be quiet. A crime is a crime, no matter what its nature; it should be treated like a crime, not a secret.

One of the viable solutions is to make your own laws to deal with such crimes. Because frankly, to whom does the Law(s) apply these days? The point you have raised about the Media is extremely valid and important though, and I wish to God, people involved in Journalism are reading this:

Media must act in a responsible fashion to protect the identity of victims. Avoidance of public scrutiny and undue media attention would greatly lessen the social onslaught on them. The rehabilitation and assimilation back into mainstream of society would be easier. With any luck, they might be able to live relatively normal lives even after the assault.

It is imperative that appropriate legislature be passed in order to protect the identity of victims of sexual assault. Dissemination of personal information, release of which is detrimental for the victim or her family, should be outlawed. Similarly, defendants should not be identified till the formal charges are brought forward or preferably at indictment. A media trial should be avoided at all costs.

Media organizations should formulate internal policies that would prohibit publicizing the names and personal details of the victims. Journalists should ask the victims for their permission to use their names. They should write about the crime, not the victim.

A very thought-provoking read.

Re: # 25

But what has this case to do with MM`s rape. As her story goes MM, a divorced woman, was brought to the Punchayat by her father and uncle and they were present alongwith her brother and other biraadri, perhaps, when she is stated to have been dragged at Punchayat`s orders for rape as a punishment for the alleged offence committed by her brother. I can`t believe this story. But if it is true the whole village, including the family of the Mai should be held responsible for her `rape`.

Since I myself am a villager I cannot believe that a woman is raped and her family however they degraded be can watch it without demur.

BTW, why Mai was divorced and who was her ex-husband? Can you plese let us know about the life history of this `great` woman who has become rich, glamourized and glorified by publicizing her rape story when many others failed miserabely.

I would like to communicate to you direct if you please give me your contact address as you seem to be very much cocerned about my mental health.

# 24 by Zahraj

“I suggest that you consult a psychiatrist and take some heavy doze of prozac vs. worshipping the screwed up law and order system of your country.”


Thank you dear for your free advice about my mental health. But mind dear there are some physical and mental degeneration due to age factor, which are incurable. More so in case of the female. A woman becomes menopaused about 40 and is considered abnormal being both physically and mentally. She then becomes a barren land neither a woman nor a man but what they call in Punjabi, becomes a ‘Phundar’. Cows and hens, etc. when become phundars are considered fit only to be slaughtered and eaten but the woman in that state begins to eat man. The wisdom of the ages, which you call “the screwed up law and order system of your country”, is reluctant even to treat her as a full-fledged human being. She is in fact only a tilth (kheti) to be ploughed and cultivated till it is cultivable. She should thank this culture that gives her respect as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, etc., otherwise she could have been used more efficiently as a slave woman (loundi), prostitute, daashta, etc.

In fact the point in this case was the question of anonymity for the victims of rape. My point was that a noble respectable woman of our society would definitely avoid publicity in such a case but there are women like MM who have been publicising their rape (an alleged one of course) and have gained a lot by it instead of being ashamed of it. Some others, like Sonia Naz, Ajeeba, etc. also tried to follow MM but failed because they could not attract the NGO,s.

Sorry, no offence intended.

#23 - I also recommend reading the following story. I am sure you will find some solace in your bull$hit argument about Mukhtaran. Any man who nurtures your kind of thinking should be in a mental asylum. Please try to look beyond your narrow horizon and buk buk media.

---

March 26, 2006
Op-Ed Columnist
A Woman Without Importance
By NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF
KHANPUR, Pakistan

Aisha Parveen doesn`t matter. She`s simply one more impoverished girl from the countryside, and if her brothel`s owner goes ahead and kills her, almost no one will care.

Ms. Parveen, an outspoken 20-year-old woman with flashing eyes, is steeling herself for a state-administered horror. Just two months after she escaped from the brothel in which she was tortured and imprisoned for six years, the courts are poised to hand her back to the brothel owner.

Sex trafficking, nurtured by globalization and increased mobility, is becoming worse. The U.N. estimates that one million children are held in conditions of slavery in Asia alone. Yet it never gets much attention, because the victims tend to be the least powerful people in these societies: poor and uneducated rural girls.

Ms. Parveen was a 14-year-old Pashtun living in the northwest of Pakistan when she was hit on the head while walking to school. She says she awoke to find herself imprisoned in a brothel hundreds of miles away, in this remote southeastern Pakistani town of Khanpur.

A person of unbelievable strength, Ms. Parveen fought back and refused to sleep with customers. So, she says, the brothel owner — Mian Sher, the violent sadist who had kidnapped her — beat and sexually tortured her, and regularly drugged her so that she would fall unconscious and customers could do with her as they liked.

This went on for six years, during which she says she was beaten every day. The girls in the brothel were forced to sleep naked at night, so that they would be too embarrassed to try to escape. Ms. Parveen says she believes that two of them, Malo Jan and Suwa Tai, were killed after they repeatedly refused to sleep with customers. In any case condoms were never available, so all the girls may eventually die of AIDS.

I wanted to look into the eyes of a man who could do these things. So I barged into Mian Sher`s brothel, identified myself and interviewed him.

He warily offered me tea, pleasantries and flashes of violent temper. He denied kidnapping Ms. Parveen, saying that he had married her six years earlier. He also denied that he pimped the girls — a claim undermined by a customer who was walking out of his brothel as I arrived. Others working in the area said that Mian Sher unquestionably ran a brothel, and that Ms. Parveen had been imprisoned in it.

In January, Ms. Parveen got a break. A metalworker, Mohamed Akram, had been doing work in the brothel, and he pitied her. ``She laid her scarf down on my feet and begged me, in the name of the Holy Koran, to rescue her,`` he remembers, and soon he felt not only pity but also love.

So on Jan. 5, Ms. Parveen stealthily arose in the middle of the night, crept past Mian Sher and padlocked the door with him inside. Then she ran to a car that Mr. Akram had sent. The next day, they were married.

Then the judicial nightmare began. Mian Sher brought charges against the couple, claiming that Ms. Parveen is his wife and must return to him.

``The police have taken money from him,`` Ms. Parveen said. ``They say, `You`re married to him, so you should go back to him.` Well, I would rather die than go back to the brothel.``

The police are now prosecuting Ms. Parveen for adultery. She is free on bail, but thugs have attacked her home and tried to kidnap her.

Mian Sher told me his plan: if Ms. Parveen is jailed for adultery, then as her supposed husband he will bail her out and take her away. Ms. Parveen says she believes he will then rape and torture her, and finally kill her.

So the judicial system, while ignoring the sex trafficking of children, may now, in the name of morality, hand a young woman over to a brothel owner to do with her as he wants.

The new abolitionism, against sex trafficking, is being pushed in America by an unlikely coalition of religious conservatives and liberal feminists; leaders include the Coalition Against Trafficking in Women, Ecpat, Equality Now and International Justice Mission. But progress is slow because the victims tend to be voiceless young people like Ms. Parveen.

Whether Ms. Parveen is returned to her brothel owner and killed may be, in terms of global issues, a small matter. But after spending a couple of days with this smart and lovely young woman, after seeing her in moments of giddy laughter and terrified weeping, I can`t help thinking that slavery should be just as outrageous in the 21st century as it was in the 19th.

A court hearing to decide Ms. Parveen`s fate is scheduled for tomorrow here in Khanpur. I`ll let you know what happens.

In case you missed it, here are two recent videos: ``Win a Trip With Nick Kristof`` and ``Darfur: The Genocide Spreads.``

#23: First of all, there is no need to patronize. I have come across your condescending posts toward MM a few times. I thought like many *young and old* men on Chowk you had some psychological issues. Your recent posts confirm my previous observation. I suggest that you consult a psychiatrist and take some heavy doze of prozac vs. worshipping the screwed up law and order system of your country.

Lastly, if a woman does not want to have sex with an ugly, repulsive and despicable man who happens to be her husband (due to some cultural tragedy) no law and religion can and should force her to do that. If a man has issues with that, he better exercise the right of finding himself a willing partner and setting the woman free. After all, a man should behave like a man and not like an animal. I guess the concept of basic decency and respecting a human being`s boundaries are quite alien to some people here. Points to ponder!

Re: # 22

zahraj

I am sorry dear Zahraj if I gave the impression of insulting the person of Mai which I never intended. In fact Mai`s rape case, after receiving so much publicity, through media and the court proceedings, has actually become a public property. As it is, she has become a role-model in the eyes of the weired feminists who are invertantly insulting all the noble women by publicizing and glorifying the rape as such.

I would once again advise you to read the detailed judgment of the High court in Mai`s case. One of the accused, Abdul Khaliq perhaps, got the life imprisonment only because he had claimed Mai to be his duly `nikafied` wife. But Mai denied this. And so the man`s admission of sex with her as his wife was treated as a rape by the court. This raises many questions of fact and law with which it will not perhaps be easy for the Supreme Court to grapple with, especially seeing its track record in its dealing with the issues of kite flying and the wedding meals.

Re: # 21

Colonel:

I think you are new to Chowk. This case is not a unique case. There are many weirdos on Chowk whose wives should have said goodbye to them way back. This guy has been repeatedly insulting Mukhtaran on various boards for a few years now. Interestingly, Chowk has been a haven to many of these weirdos from both sides of the border. All these characters come in different colors, but they are all black inside out. You do not need something real ugly to repel you. This logical facade can be a real turn off.

Happy Reading the ``sick`` Chowk!

ShahJee

you need help from a competent psychiatrist.

May God Almighty have mercy upon you .

Re: # 18
Shahjee

you need professional help from a competent psychiatrist. Many God have mercy upon you .

Re: # 18

Thank you for proving the pranks nature likes to play on us.

My sympathies.

Re: # 16

Yes I am sick because I am jealous of Mai`s `rape` even if it has not been `legitimized` by the High Court and placed in the cold storage by the Supreme one. I cannot aspire, even if I wish, going through a `rape` like her due to my gender. What a discrimination against the male gender! I hope you are not the co-sharer in her `rape` exploits, directly or indirectly.

Let us see what comes out of it ultimately. Meanwhile Mai is getting fat and the august Supreme court is too busy dealing with kite flying and the wedding meals.

Re: # 15

Oh dear Colonel, I am sorry that you got so provoked and made presumptuously some rude remarks against my person. The wise say ``Don`t say a right thing before a wrong person``. I am sorry I contravened this advice and got a reaction with a bad taste.

I think you did not read the detailed judgment of the High court in Mai`s case. Neither you seem to be conversant with the Quran and Sharia, as enshrined in Hudood laws, particularly , on the subject of `zina`. It requires four well-qualified witnesses who saw the zina performed like thread going into the eye of the needle to prove the crime. And if the accuser fails to produce even one less witness he/she is to be charged with `kazaf`, severely penalised and declared a lier forever. Now see dear Colonel where you and you ilk stand before Allah in this case.

I hope you are not the one who shared the booty.

Re: # 13

Your logic is sick. You have been harping on Chowk for quite sometime regarding the legitimacy of Mukhtaran`s case. Early this year, I have met the woman in person and was deeply touched by her courage and stance. She comes from a demented society who is probably getting sicker to see her alive and kicking. Unfortunately, this is the typical nature of the regressive kind. They cannot be happy to see someone prospering or able to acomplish their dreams. If her circumstances have led her to inspire others and complete some initiatives that were important to her, then that`s great. She has not asked you to come and lay the foundation of her next school or village dispensary. Why are you so agitated? In this world, there will be skeptics like you who will always challenge or doubt the legitimacy of an issue where a woman takes a stand. I guess that`s a joke of nature that one needs to accept.