Rolling Stones

Dear winterpk/Humeira:

However you showed up bit late but good to know here!

anyways it would be good if chowk staff shows ``Author`s Comment`` with comment of the author automatically. This will make things more clear and distinguished. Or the name of the author may appear distinctly green in list of names on side.

Anyways Humeira your name seems quite mixed up..Do you mean Humera[An imaginary bird that soars highest]...or Humaira[Reddish-Given to Hazrat Aisha because of her red skin.]

Anyways keep writing logically,

Re: # 29
hello nadia :)
my name means ``Reddish-Given to Hazrat Aisha because of her red skin``
yeah i was a bit late but nice to know i got so many reads...very flattering :)

Dear readers,

Thank you for your precious comments.

My brother had told me chowk.com would be a great place to get some desi feedback for my writings and he was so right :)! The difference between desi and non-desi perspective of the same article was both informative and interesting.

``Rolling stones gather no moss`` is a famous cliche and can be used in a number of ways. My sole concern was to make clear the reason for which I used it and I hope I was successful.

I plan to write more pieces and hopefully you`ll see my name on the website again. Of course I will always need your feedback and suggestions to improve my craft. So do fire away :)

Sincerely,
Humeira Ajaz Kazmi
author of Rolling Stones

oops! I misspelled your name...sorry.

Humaira,

Thank you for this nice article. I hope you invite non-desis to your huge parties.

echoboom, that was interesting :)
Beejay, yes, ``ramta jogi bahta pani`` is the closest .
drlokraj, that couplet is awesome, thanks.

Interesting.............

Where one lives is not really too important. What is important is for one to have a sound foundation and understanding of one`s identity. Who are you? Whom do you define yourself to be? What do others see you as?

As long as one has that, one can fit in anywhere. However, individuals who do not have that will turn into rolling stones and will probably remain confused, for their whole lives. That is where the phrase ABCD (American Born Confused Desis) comes from.

When one moves out of one`s country of birth, into very dissimilar surroundings (like the West), then the individuals one has to be concerned about are one`s children (not one`s own self). For example, I have an identity. I know who I am. Because I was raised in a certain environment, where I formed my values, i.e. Pakistani values. Now I am in Canada. So basically I am an Pakistani-Canadian. That is my identity. My value system, rightly or wrongly, is Pakistani. And I have fit it into a Canadian surrounding.

But what about my kids?

This is where parents generally screw up. They don`t allow their kids to form an identity of their own. The kids become half Pakistanis/half Westerners (which is different from being a Pakistani-Westerners). In essence, the children pay the price of their own parent`s selfishness. The parents have their own secure Pakistani identity and want to pass it on to their kids. Even though, the parents are unwilling to, themselves, move back to Pakistan.

This would obviously confuse the children. Who grow up in the West, yet are half Pakistani - a country they have barely visited.

Parents, thus, need to make a distinct decision. If they want their kids to grow up as part Pakistanis, then they should move back to Pakistan, where their children can form that identity, in a natural surrounding. If they are unwilling to move back, then they should not force that identity upon their kids.

In this sense, I have found Canada to be uniquely comfortable. It is not a melting pot, where everyone has to conform to a majority culture. It is a mosaic. Which really doesn`t have a culture to conform to, and is a combination of all the cultures which exist in the country.

In that sense, the identity of my children will be Canadian (Muslim-Canadian, if one wants to take religion into account). But not Pakistani-Canadian. Pakistan will just be something that will be part of my identity. They will know about it as a place where their parents came from..............

A nice one!

I recall an old Greek whom I met during my first week in NY... he was living there for 35 yrs.... Being new to the foreign culture and out of my curiosity, I asked him about his feeling about the comparison between life in Greece and US... I still recall his words `` Its like adoring two women at the same time you can’t compare them cuz each of them is unique and different and you just like them for what they are.... and so you cannot compare ...so in the end it comes down to the fact that what do u want``

You don’t have to agree with the above statement but one thing is for sure…. they say that every person is unique... then “WHY ALMOST ALL OF US WHO LEFT THEIR HOMETOWNS INSERACH OF BETTER LIFE, OPPURTUNITIES OR FOR WHATEVER REASON, FEEL THE SAME WAY” ... I mean if we are different… then why our feeling are common... why do we feel the same way..

Sounds depressing…I know… we like to be different…atleast wanna feel that way…

Good article...reassuring for recent migrants like me.Yes we do come``oceans away``from our countries in search of better life.But nothing comes without a price.At times even some newly migrated people are faced with existential problems.Not being able to adapt to new places is a trait some people have inherently, like this couplet fro an urdu ghazal:
aadat hi banaa li hai tum ne to Jameel apni
jis sheharmein rehna,uktaaye huye rehna
By the way,punjabi equivalent of rolling stone is,``vehnday paani nirmal hunday,daag na laggan manday``

Dear Humeira:

This was a very nice article! It brought back some old memories, for sure. The first two weeks without help are the toughest, but it all works out in the end, on the whole for the better.

[I remembered my Muslim friends who carved turkeys on Thanksgiving and exchanged gifts on New Year to celebrate the holiday spirit. I think they had become Americanized.]
Actually, being Americanized involves a lot more than just carving turkeys on Thanksgiving and exchanging gifts on New Year, as you will (hopefully) learn over time. (Unfortunately, many in the first generation never do.)

To Rahul_Capri: [#3, One colloquial expression for ``rolling stone`` in hindi is ``bhaTakti aatma``]: I personally think “Ramta yogee, bahta paani” would probably be a more suitable match for that phrase in this context.

Sincerely,
BeeJay

Humeira

Thought it was about music.

A big South Asian Doctors community resides in Tennessee which holds get-togathers. Baby Showers etc. That is what my son tells me from Johnson city.

But I understand your predicament. One has to make his own tea and clean his own plate. Babies also tend to get used to it quickly. Not the kind of cultural help available back home.


nhk

Zahra -

Happy St. Patrick`s Day to you too :)

adnan:

echoing from the fateha .......rub ul aa`lameen...jub poori duniya ka woh rub hay tO kya defence kya fairfax ya shirlington?

rgds

t

Zain,

Happy St. Patrick`s Day :)

rahul_capri 5
I almost missed your post.

Well good try, but I think for that lost soul or wandering soul is as much an english expression. It is not a proverb either.

One shair comes to mind:

Na idhhar kay rahay , naa udhar kay rahay
(Na khudaa hee mila, na visaal-e sanam).

but this too is not a proverb.

---

By the way that proverb about Rolling stone as used NOW is actually supposed to expound exactly the opposite. It is no credit to a stone to gather moss & LOSE its identity. If it keeps moving , it SURVIVES!

Similarly another proverb ``PaRRhain farsi baichaiN tael`` ( Study Farsi and become an oil-man) is supposede to have an (?) at the end. It meant that one is such a learned person
and yet sells oil as a voaction.

Like today `` Daakter hai aur petrol-bhUrtaa hai``?

Hope you enjoyed this.

well
the whole change in civilizations and culture comes with this movement of people from one country to another.
and history proves that immigration a natural phenomenun and it has most of the time given benfits to humankind.
the feelings have been expressed in a nice manner